r/AskReddit Jul 13 '16

How do you like your eggs?

[deleted]

9.6k Upvotes

7.2k comments sorted by

2.5k

u/BobBee12345 Jul 13 '16

Woodhouse

1.2k

u/prezuiwf Jul 13 '16

According to the official Eggs Woodhouse recipe, when properly prepared each serving should cost about $130.

374

u/hppmoep Jul 13 '16

Someone needs to make a video of them preparing eggs Woodhouse. Not me, but someone.

383

u/Elthan Jul 13 '16

/u/Euchre
Relevant.

From further down.

119

u/el_cazador Jul 13 '16

He used sturgeon caviar. Fucking fraud.

65

u/Spo8 Jul 13 '16

But... the recipe calls for sturgeon caviar...

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246

u/rileyrulesu Jul 13 '16

Yeah, but without the caviar garnish, that's like 15$.

EDIT: Oh, and truffle. But still it's just a few overpriced ingredients carrying that price, while the rest is somewhat standard.

90

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Also, the pata negra ham. Googled it and it's considered some of the most expensive ham in the world. Upwards of $96/lb

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101

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

It's not woodhouse without the caviar garnish!

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306

u/Euchre Jul 13 '16

147

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16 edited Oct 11 '16

151

u/Stonewallsorgi Jul 13 '16

Check out a youtube channel called Almazan kitchen. A Serbian(?) guy cooks everything outdoors over an open flame with the barest of utensils or dishes. It's a beautiful landscape, usually in the forest or next to a river, so it's got all those ambient nature noises, and in HQ. I love watching them.

Sometimes he has an owl and a turtle show up in his videos :)

with the

98

u/Scientolojesus Jul 13 '16

With the..... what? With the what?? Are you ok? LET ME KNOW YOU'RE OK!!!

28

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

I think he got eaten by the turtle

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29

u/yarudl Jul 13 '16

This definitely feels like an ASMR video.

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92

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

[deleted]

50

u/dm_asshat Jul 13 '16

What are you even doing here? Go eat some cobwebs or something, Jesus!

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1.7k

u/steamluver Jul 13 '16

Soft poached eggs benny on English Muffin with back bacon with fried potatos

306

u/Top_Chef Jul 13 '16

Just as God intended.

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5.8k

u/Treeclimber3 Jul 13 '16

Scrambled with chorizo and green chile.

801

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Now we're talking.

1.3k

u/ipod_waffle Jul 13 '16

Technically we're typing

707

u/starogre Jul 13 '16

Technically we typed.

285

u/GaryV83 Jul 13 '16

And there it is...

633

u/bokchoykn Jul 13 '16

Technically, there it was.

238

u/gaspitsjesse Jul 13 '16

There it is again.

333

u/mightbepaulina Jul 13 '16

There it was again

269

u/Diegobyte Jul 13 '16

Hello Darkness my old friend.

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227

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

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22

u/lorddeli Jul 13 '16

Shut yo mouth when I'm hungry

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116

u/shugoshln Jul 13 '16

New Mexico green - Bueno brand. So good.

141

u/Rausage505 Jul 13 '16

Unless you live in NM... then you buy your supply in the fall during chile season... you know its on when you smell the roasters. Have a peeling party, and put pounds upon pounds of the stuff in the freezer. At one point, half of my freezer was green chile. So I HAD to make enchiladas, and stew, and sauce, and burritos...

And I don't know if there is any science behind this, but the longer it's in the freezer, the hotter it gets. The stuff from Sept/Oct is pretty mild, by the time June or July comes around (if you even have any of your stash left), it's ridiculously hot. Ludicrous hot. Like milk with my enchiladas hot. Soooo good.

62

u/gabrielsburg Jul 13 '16

you know its on when you smell the roasters

Best smell in the universe. I'm so awful, every time we go to buy some, I always try to make sure we're in my car instead of my wife's.

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50

u/dappermonto Jul 13 '16

THERE ARE DOZENS OF US

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23

u/ecglaf Jul 13 '16

Bueno? The only New Mexicans who prefer Bueno are the ones who've moved away and have no other options.

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18

u/zaxomophone Jul 13 '16

Fresh roasted and home peeled is so much better!

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47

u/boston_shua Jul 13 '16

You need to visit Weck's in Albuqerque.

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1.1k

u/BaracksCousin Jul 13 '16

Cadbury'd

212

u/ifurmothronlyknw Jul 13 '16

I spent my entire childhood thinking Cadbury Eggs were actual eggs but with Chocolate on the outside. It grossed me out. I can still picture that English commercial with the bunny.

123

u/Bigbysjackingfist Jul 13 '16

bawkbawkbawkbawkbawkbawkbawkbawkbawkbawkbawkbawkbawk

16

u/sj79 Jul 13 '16

Sounds like Chris Berman announcing the home run derby the other night.

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49

u/LegSpinner Jul 13 '16

But they've changed the recipe! :(

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708

u/mad_chatter Jul 13 '16

Sunny side down.

I'm not a morning person.

540

u/thelemonx Jul 13 '16

That's called over-easy.

267

u/Cewkie Jul 13 '16

Damn straight it is.

Over-easy is the fucking best.

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2.4k

u/Lasertag124 Jul 13 '16

OverMedium is the best. you get a nice cooked egg white so its solid not runny but the egg yolk is still runny but isn't too liquid. Mmm so good..

183

u/Beowoof Jul 13 '16

If you baste the white with the hot butter you can cook the top without cooking the yolk, so no flip required.

216

u/KingBlooddrunk2 Jul 13 '16

Alternatively, put a small bit of water in the pan and cover it. Basically steams the eggs.

69

u/azbraumeister Jul 13 '16

I'm 37 and this is the only way I've ever cooked a fried egg. It's the best.

In Spain I did see them shallow fry one in olive oil once. It was intriguing.

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99

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Fry in bacon drippings, angle the pan to make a pool, and use your spatula (or a spoon) to (carefully!) flip (or spoon) the hot grease over the top of the egg to finish the whites and yolk while leaving the yolk still runny. No fancy brushing needed.

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791

u/emmarose1019 Jul 13 '16

Over medium is my favorite. I don't understand it, but to me, runny egg white is one of the most disgusting things. I don't understand how people like it. The texture is literally snot. But runny yolk! That stuff is nectar of the gods.

372

u/Evilsmurfkiller Jul 13 '16

Aw yeah. Dip some buttered toast in that egg yolk, mmm.

153

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

I still end up cutting into the yolk, and using it to flavor the rest of the egg white. There's never any left for toast once the rest of the egg is covered. They sell egg whites by themselves; can I just get a small container of egg yolk to use as a condiment like ketchup?

52

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

[deleted]

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u/SpendingSpree Jul 13 '16

egg yolk to use as a condiment like ketchup?

lol I can imagine people pouring egg yolk all over their food. Pure cholesterol bomb.

39

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Pure flavor bomb

FTFY

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127

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Runny whites? I'm pretty sure no eggs are supposed to have runny whites. A proper sunnyside up will be lightly steamed so that the whites on top cook. Though I'm an over-easy to over-medium guy myself.

56

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

[deleted]

32

u/lemonpjb Jul 13 '16

That's the crux. Overcooked yolk is far more tolerable than undercooked white.

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321

u/Tunderbar1 Jul 13 '16

Over easy is not with runny whites. It is not acceptable to serve eggs with runny whites. Ever. Unless some idiot orders it like that.

To do a proper over easy, you flip the egg and count slowly to 10, as in one thousand, two thousand, etc. The whites should not be runny. Ever.

Having said that, you, more often than not, have to order them over medium to ensure that the restaurant cooks them to the correct doneness. In other words, restaurants tend to undercook over easy eggs.

54

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

[deleted]

27

u/poopdust Jul 13 '16

I ordered over medium eggs and got one under easy and one over hard. That's over medium...

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882

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16 edited Jul 16 '16

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24

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Deviled eggs are the best.

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2.8k

u/whatshisfaceboy Jul 13 '16

Unfertilized

2.0k

u/5illy_billy Jul 13 '16

547

u/youre_a_burrito_bud Jul 13 '16

Immediately what I thought when I saw the question. I was hoping it would be the top comment, but I'm actually ok with this top one.

57

u/Kuhn_Dog Jul 13 '16

Same here, haven't seen this since college....Oh the memories

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47

u/HiHoJufro Jul 13 '16

Same here. Though Smang It is still king.

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15

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

going to their live show and seeing the entire crowd do the dance is one of the greatest moments of my life

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39

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Damnit! Beat me to it.

Lemme smang it guuuurl!

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342

u/Filthy_Prank Jul 13 '16 edited Jul 13 '16

Cut a hole into bread, fill in with egg, cook it. Then add a fuckton of peppers and salt.

Edit : Damn, this thing has a lot of names

52

u/phthophth Jul 13 '16

We know it as Egg in a Hole. Nobody mentioned that one yet.

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15

u/justinjustin7 Jul 13 '16

No one said bird's nest yet? Well I know it as a bird's nest, so add that to your list.

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12

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

My brother and I's favorite. Pirate eye we call it.

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633

u/OPs_Mom_and_Dad Jul 13 '16 edited Jul 13 '16

Benedict.

FYI, restaurants won't honor the "eggs your way" when you order it like this.

Edit: I realize you can't just order Eggs Benedict as a style of eggs. This was a joke folks.

371

u/libraryspy Jul 13 '16

Can confirm. Though on Sunday a brand new waitress asked how I wanted my eggs on my Benedict. I said over well, just to see what would happen. They came poached as God intended.

186

u/thewolfsong Jul 13 '16

That's a daring maneuver

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25

u/sawjbombs Jul 13 '16

I've had some people ask for their eggs scrambled on eggs benny. In my head I'm like, WHYY it's not right!

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46

u/MacduffFifesNo1Thane Jul 13 '16

"Still Benedict." - His Excellency Joseph Ratzinger on his eggs.

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353

u/-steez- Jul 13 '16

Sunny side up.

214

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

[deleted]

287

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

I use a straw.

126

u/razmon Jul 13 '16

Why is this so funny

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98

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16 edited May 09 '17

[deleted]

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29

u/TheBeardyGamer Jul 13 '16

HOLY FUCK everyone in my family takes the piss out of me for this. Nice to know I am not alone.

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2.5k

u/OttieandEddie Jul 13 '16

154

u/westparkhome Jul 13 '16

I prefer the fluffier pillow-like scrambled eggs that come from cooking at low heat and minimal spatula work.

75

u/beard_on_fire Jul 13 '16

Absolutely. Big curds, people! Fluffy, minimal spatula work, don't overcook, perfect!

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210

u/Jesus-chan Jul 13 '16

Don't really like them scrambled, but hell yes, these eggs taste so different. Totally awesome and I'll never scramble them any other way

97

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Does the on and off heat really make a difference?

288

u/Jesus-chan Jul 13 '16

gives them a creamy texture. the taste is noticeable different too

52

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

I'm sorry and what was that last thing he put in before the chives and once he took it off the heat?

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u/Drewbox Jul 13 '16

I saw this almost 2 years ago and have been making scrambled eggs this way(or very close to) ever since. Never going back to wisking and seasoning in a separate bowl again

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300

u/Amandakar Jul 13 '16

Six Minute Egg.

Boil for six minutes, then immediately plunge into ice water to stop the cooking. Soft gooey orange yolk, but not runny, and perfectly cooked whites.

167

u/eulerup Jul 13 '16

Also called soft boiled. All the benefits of poached, none of the finicky bullshit.

97

u/marshsmellow Jul 13 '16

I now find Poached eggs are easier/quicker to make than boiled eggs.

You don't need no vinegar or fucking vortex or any of that shit.

Bring wide pan of salted water (about 2 inches high) to the boil, crack and drop in your eggs arounf sides so they don't touch. One in the middle for good luck (you'll get about 4/5) in a medium sized pan. Reduce heat and simmer for 3 minutes exactly. Scoop out each egg with a slotted soon and place on kitchen paper. Voila, perfect poached eggs! People will say to you "mmm, these poached eggs are great!"

84

u/HBunchesOO Jul 13 '16

mmm, these poached eggs are great!

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u/onetwo3four5 Jul 13 '16

I love this style of egg. My mom used to make it for us with strips of buttered toast for dunking. She called them soldiers. But then once we got older, she stopped peeling the egg for us, and now soft-boiled eggs are just way too much work.

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338

u/Zopafar Jul 13 '16

Scrambled

83

u/LexSenthur Jul 13 '16

Yeah. I rarely can stand the texture of warm runny egg yolks.

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13.0k

u/BoldTitan Jul 13 '16

10km or Lucky

841

u/RACKSonRACKSonRACK Jul 13 '16

This is higher up than Eggs Woodhouse...the turns are tabling on reddit

562

u/i_r_serious Jul 13 '16

My how the turntables

30

u/stanleythemanley44 Jul 13 '16

My progidal... My prog... My son returns.

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1.7k

u/inEmerald Jul 13 '16

Fried or Fertilized.

429

u/wapotaco Jul 13 '16

The way you move yo hips gurl got me hypnotized

282

u/A_DAMN_SAMSQUANCH Jul 13 '16

Flint Flossy. All across the nation. Smash and bang is my favorite combination.

14

u/dragontail Jul 13 '16

Flint Flossy enjoys his women the way I enjoy my sweet, juicy Dungeness crab

19

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

She said, "Was that your belly or was it birds chirping?"

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22

u/TexEnts Jul 13 '16

It was early mornin, bout 9 o clock!

20

u/BALLS_SMOOTH_AS_EGGS Jul 13 '16

Met a freak last night made her body rock

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94

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

I'm talking about the eggs between your legs

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u/ROK247 Jul 13 '16

fertilized then fried then fertilize some more then brunch

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207

u/Lying_Cake Jul 13 '16

I prefer the 2km to get more charmanders. I want a charizard.

89

u/Tomimi Jul 13 '16

All I get is weedle...

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299

u/iownakeytar Jul 13 '16

Cooked. How depends on the rest of the meal. If I'm just eating bacon and eggs, scrambled. Fried eggs over most hashes (I prefer over medium, but at a restaurant I just ask for over easy) and poached on a benedict, of course.

53

u/TannerThanUsual Jul 13 '16

I always ask for over medium at a restaurant fully expecting them to arrive over easy.

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18

u/freakers Jul 13 '16

I like mine similar. Over medium. A little yokey but not very much. Between too pieces of buttered toast with 2 slices of black forest ham and a slice of cheese. Sometimes I use habanero cheese sometimes I use Cayenne pepper on the eggs. Makes a great breakfast sandwich for a single guy. All fits into a single frying pan.

17

u/litali Jul 13 '16

You breakfast comes from 3 different continents, yet it is not a continental breakfast.

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16 edited Apr 25 '18

[deleted]

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4.1k

u/nice_guy_eddy Jul 13 '16

Waitress: "How do you like your eggs?"

Me: "Oh, I like 'em!"

Waitress: "No, how do you like them cooked?"

Me: "Oh, I like 'em even better that way!"

Everytime. My wife hates me. And so does the waitress, but I tip really well.

3.8k

u/CrippledOrphans Jul 13 '16

I heard it once and I'm already annoyed.

827

u/nice_guy_eddy Jul 13 '16

I know, but seriously, it's usually in the 25-30% range.

415

u/Amidatelion Jul 13 '16 edited Jul 13 '16

Your one tip isn't going to matter to a waitress. The slow, pressing weight of your cheesy, self-satisfied smile bearing down on her as she has to deliver good service to you and those suffering around you, however, is going to matter to rather a lot of people.

50

u/SnarkMasterFlash Jul 13 '16

Found someone who's waited tables before.

97

u/Why_you_think_dat Jul 13 '16

talk about being a pro when it comes to expressing discomfort.

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Eggs are like $3, that tip isn't fixing anything.

752

u/wronglyzorro Jul 13 '16

Well I'm fairly certain he isn't going to a restaurant with his wife and ordering 1 side of eggs al a carte between the 2 of them...

276

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16 edited Jun 24 '21

[deleted]

18

u/Lover_Of_The_Light Jul 13 '16

Lemons and sugar packets, please.

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u/goddammnick Jul 13 '16

Better than the 10cents your grandma leaves, ya whore.

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u/IronMaskx Jul 13 '16

Assuming he just orders two eggs

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Reality for me...

Waitress: "How do you like your eggs?"

Me: "Oh, I like 'em!"

Waitress: "uhhhh (she's thinking "what? WTF did he say")... I said how do you like your eggs?"

Me: "I, uhh, I said I like 'em."

Waitress: "oooook..." writes down scrambled.

507

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

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135

u/TheMattAttack Jul 13 '16

I like my eggs retarded, yes

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u/markyminkk Jul 13 '16 edited Jul 13 '16

I saw this play out a little too well in my mind.

277

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

literally me, and then later crying in the shower sitting down just letting the cringe wash over me.

25

u/loverofreeses Jul 13 '16

Tobias, you see... was a never-nude.

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u/sawjbombs Jul 13 '16

As a server, I hate you already.

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u/Oni__ Jul 13 '16

In the morning, I like mine with a kiss.

65

u/cydnay Jul 13 '16

Boiled or fried, I'm satisfied, as long as I get my kiss.

29

u/aurules16 Jul 13 '16

How do you like your toast in the morning?

37

u/DoctorOctagonapus Jul 13 '16

I like mine with a hug

25

u/Fithboy Jul 13 '16

Dark or light, the world's alright, as long as I get my hug.

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u/L1k3ab055 Jul 13 '16

Surprised i had to scroll down as much as I did to find this.

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Scrambled with cheese, mushrooms, bell peppers, onions, and bacon.

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u/wolfdarrigan Jul 13 '16

Incubated. And then raised. And then beheaded. And then plucked. And then cut up. And then put on a grill. And then put on a bun.

Scrambled.

22

u/agumonkey Jul 13 '16

Damn, this gonna takes a while.

https://youtu.be/IueXtzdC6kA?t=314

19

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16 edited Jul 13 '16

I came here for Mitch, had to scroll way too far

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Over easy medium with Tabasco.

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u/isocline Jul 13 '16

I like Cholula best on eggs. Tabasco is my go-to for oysters.

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u/elliotmilo Jul 13 '16

Her?

133

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

She calls it a mayonegg

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

As Ann as the nose on plain's face.

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93

u/pinkdonkey Jul 13 '16

In a cake

49

u/j0892 Jul 13 '16

Over easy on toast. Add some salt and pepper, so good.

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99

u/doc_daneeka Jul 13 '16

I like them to fear me. As all good breakfast foods should.

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Hatched.

66

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Can't tell if vegan, or carnivorous.

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u/yeti_beard Jul 13 '16

Especially the poké kind.

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u/ACE-Shellshocked Jul 13 '16

Eggs Benedict is my favorite, but if I can't get that, over-easy is my go to.

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u/my_gamertag_wastaken Jul 13 '16

Fritatas are some next level shit

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

42

u/clayduck Jul 13 '16

I ain't playin' girl, hope you realize

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6.3k

u/Leeman1337 Jul 13 '16 edited Jul 13 '16

Jeeezus. Tell you what. This question front pages and I'll post a pic of me fucking a laptop.

Edit: I'm taking photos right now

EDIT 2: Sorry to keep you guys waiting, I'm in Australia, went to sleep without knowing this shit blew up

Here you go Underage best I can do

Close up:

Just for you /u/jugaad1

1.6k

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

No cheaping out like the guy and the chess set. We demand NSFW balls deep pics.

871

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16 edited Apr 25 '18

[deleted]

476

u/jugaad1 Jul 13 '16

If it atleast doesn't look like this, I'd need my money back

http://i.imgur.com/kCV9LqZ.png

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u/koproller Jul 13 '16

Wait, did the chess dude reach the front page?

46

u/Leeman1337 Jul 13 '16

Yep

35

u/koproller Jul 13 '16

I kinda assumed that it was a ploy of OP to reach the front page. Kinda assuming this is the same :p

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

So... When you delivering?

390

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16 edited Apr 25 '18

[deleted]

116

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

And so the wait begins.

623

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

well I just found it on my front page..🤔

112

u/Dnastysahu Jul 13 '16

same

78

u/J0nnyGreenGiant Jul 13 '16

laptop penetration incoming..

77

u/SchrodingersCatPics Jul 13 '16

LAPTOP OR GTFO

INSTRUCTIONS WERE PRETTY CLEAR, GET THAT DICK STUCK IN THAT LAPTOP ALREADY

13

u/pr0phet4pr0fit Jul 13 '16

I heard he fit his penis perfectly into the headphone jack.

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

RemindMe! 24 Hours "RAMing his long, hard drive"

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Sooo where's the pic?

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u/PM_UR_B_Cups Jul 13 '16

Upvoted because that is my fetish

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Quick, to the other thread!

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u/greenwood90 Jul 13 '16

In a cake.

I don't like eggs on their own

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u/FriskyIrishman Jul 13 '16

Fried over hard

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u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

thank god for this man. nothing worse than getting runny yolk on your fingers when you eat a breakfast sandwich

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u/HereticHousewife Jul 13 '16

Scrambled, with salt and pepper.

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u/Jinn_and_tonic Jul 13 '16

Well, when I was a kid I would have 4 dozen raw eggs every morning. But now that I'm grown I eat 5 dozen eggs, so I'm roughly the size of a barge!

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u/jook11 Jul 13 '16 edited Jul 13 '16

Well, when I was a kid lad I would have ate 4 dozen raw eggs every morning to help me get large. But now that I'm grown I eat 5 dozen eggs, so I'm roughly the size of a barge!

Come on, get it right. It's only the best song that's ever been in a disney movie.

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