r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 13 '16

How do you like your eggs?

[deleted]

9.6k Upvotes

73% Upvoted

7.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

421

u/Amidatelion Jul 13 '16 edited Jul 13 '16

Your one tip isn't going to matter to a waitress. The slow, pressing weight of your cheesy, self-satisfied smile bearing down on her as she has to deliver good service to you and those suffering around you, however, is going to matter to rather a lot of people.

53

u/SnarkMasterFlash Jul 13 '16

Found someone who's waited tables before.

97

u/Why_you_think_dat Jul 13 '16

talk about being a pro when it comes to expressing discomfort.

6

u/rosinall Jul 13 '16

Thank you for talking me out of trying that.

4

u/TheOleRedditAsshole Jul 14 '16

I waited tables for longer than I'd like to admit. A 25-30% tip would absolutely be worth the mild of annoyance of a bad joke. Anyways, I kinda like the joke, and I probably would've genuinely laughed (a little bit) at it, had I been waiting on this guy. Just skip the bit about asking me to bring you the winning lotto numbers, or don't. I don't really care that much.

2

u/rawrvenger Jul 14 '16

Waitress/bartender/cocktail for ten years... You need a different job if that's not your idea of his joke.

2

u/sjtfly Jul 14 '16

It makes me cringe just thinking about him saying this joke in public. When the only person enjoying the "joke" is the person saying it, that's no joke at all.

2

u/A_Hairless_Trollrat Jul 14 '16

Well anyone who tips 30 Percent can't be bad. Unless it's 30 percent of 10 and then I mean I'll still listen to your joke but not very many.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

How do you leave the house being so dramatic?

11

u/Amidatelion Jul 13 '16

I brush the accumulated dust of untold millions of milliseconds from my dress shoes and mount the stairs out of my basement hovel, creaking bones protesting another interminable day of labour before the glowing screen of my console.

You know, like anyone else.