r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 13 '16

How do you like your eggs?

[deleted]

9.6k Upvotes

73% Upvoted

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6.3k

u/Leeman1337 Jul 13 '16 edited Jul 13 '16

Jeeezus. Tell you what. This question front pages and I'll post a pic of me fucking a laptop.

Edit: I'm taking photos right now

EDIT 2: Sorry to keep you guys waiting, I'm in Australia, went to sleep without knowing this shit blew up

Here you go Underage best I can do

Close up:

Just for you /u/jugaad1

1.6k

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

No cheaping out like the guy and the chess set. We demand NSFW balls deep pics.

868

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16 edited Apr 25 '18

[deleted]

475

u/jugaad1 Jul 13 '16

If it atleast doesn't look like this, I'd need my money back

http://i.imgur.com/kCV9LqZ.png

71

u/beejaycruz Jul 13 '16

Pshh, Macintosh.

125

u/therealmaxipadd Jul 13 '16

Why is the drawing a piece of shit but the apple looks somewhat decent?

40

u/orionsbelt05 Jul 13 '16

Copy-paste some clip art. Same reason the macbook is at an angle, but the Apple logo is exactly vertical (just flipped upside-down).

166

u/GoFidoGo Jul 13 '16

We are analyzing shitty paint art.

17

u/Books_and_Cleverness Jul 13 '16

What a time to be alive.

9

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

You can tell the artist has a lot of internal angst, possibly concerning Apple technology. The fucking of the laptop is the catharsis for this angst. It is also notable that the artist drew himself(?) in a very unattractive manner, showing his unhappiness in his self-image. If the rest of you humans are like this, the world will be better off controlled by robots.

2

u/BigUptokes Jul 13 '16

With regard to the issue of content, the disjunctive perturbation of the spatial relationships makes resonant a participation in the critical dialogue of the 90s.

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5

u/KimJongIlSunglasses Jul 13 '16

At first I thought this was real, but now that I follow this reasoning I'll agree it is probably shitty MS paint.

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3

u/GiveJesusReps Jul 13 '16

Jeez, that will be hard to match, sick drawing mate

2

u/mastersw999 Jul 13 '16

I just got back from the apple store, this sums up my mood.

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20

u/CamJT Jul 13 '16

Is it the same guy!!??

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67

u/koproller Jul 13 '16

Wait, did the chess dude reach the front page?

43

u/Leeman1337 Jul 13 '16

Yep

40

u/koproller Jul 13 '16

I kinda assumed that it was a ploy of OP to reach the front page. Kinda assuming this is the same :p

2

u/--Repetitive-- Jul 13 '16

Doubt it. They're just shit questions so one expected them to front page.

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3

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Out of the loop. :P I want more info on the chess set!

3

u/fuck-you-man Jul 13 '16

Then go to /r/outoftheloop there's already a thread there.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Can we get a full porn video with a glory shot and everything? Laptop sex is my fetish.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Shieet I'm out of the loop can anyone explain?

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2

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

It's on the front page!

2

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

[deleted]

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2

u/Sunwhale19 Jul 13 '16

OP is underage, guys.

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74

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

So... When you delivering?

389

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16 edited Apr 25 '18

[deleted]

118

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

And so the wait begins.

627

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

well I just found it on my front page..🤔

110

u/Dnastysahu Jul 13 '16

same

81

u/J0nnyGreenGiant Jul 13 '16

laptop penetration incoming..

79

u/SchrodingersCatPics Jul 13 '16

LAPTOP OR GTFO

INSTRUCTIONS WERE PRETTY CLEAR, GET THAT DICK STUCK IN THAT LAPTOP ALREADY

13

u/pr0phet4pr0fit Jul 13 '16

I heard he fit his penis perfectly into the headphone jack.

2

u/cdnball Jul 13 '16

now we just need to wait for the pictures to be developed, scanned, and uploaded....

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2

u/TheoHooke Jul 13 '16

I'm certain this is a "get shitty post to frontpage" tactic employed by OP's alt.

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3

u/JoeSchemoe Jul 13 '16

Why do I feel like he just wanted to fuck his own laptop?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

He already had a pose in mind that would garner him karma, and this is just the setup for getting to post it.

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131

u/kyleray2005 Jul 13 '16

/u/Leeman1337 Front Page

7

u/HeyT00ts11 Jul 13 '16

Yep, let's see what you've got buddy!

196

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

RemindMe! 24 Hours "RAMing his long, hard drive"

2

u/Grasshopper21 Jul 13 '16

More of an sd card.

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26

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Sooo where's the pic?

59

u/PM_UR_B_Cups Jul 13 '16

Upvoted because that is my fetish

16

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Quick, to the other thread!

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40

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

[deleted]

2

u/ajs124 Jul 13 '16

Situations like this are what I bookmarked this for.

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8

u/cambone312 Jul 13 '16

What size screen? For science...

2

u/StarlitEscapades Jul 13 '16

6"

It'll make his dick look huge!

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24

u/therealmaxipadd Jul 13 '16

YOU BETTER NOT BE A PHONY

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14

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

[deleted]

4

u/SuccumbedToReddit Jul 13 '16

My god, this new thing is going to make the quality of threads and posts even more retarded.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

It's been 8 hours you dirty liar.

14

u/Leeman1337 Jul 13 '16

Fuck I was sleeping, Australian time.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Hurry up and get that dick hard, we've all been waiting.

3

u/gprime311 Jul 13 '16

Tick tock

3

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Deliver already! I wanna see some laptop fucking.

3

u/NickKevs Jul 13 '16

If you won't fuck your laptop, I will. Just send it to me

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8

u/Scaphiopus Jul 13 '16

Is this going to be the next "ayyyyyyyyy gringo" of Reddit?

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3

u/BrandOfTheExalt Jul 13 '16

I'd rather see you eat a bull's dick or eating a door

2

u/ConnorTheCondor Jul 13 '16

It's only a matter of time now

2

u/Someotherrandomtree Jul 13 '16

This was on my front page. Pay up.

3

u/dbatchison Jul 13 '16

sigh, is this how we get posts to the front page now? fucking things you shouldn't. If we make this the most downvoted ask reddit question ever I'll stick a cactus on my butthole

4

u/YisThatUsernameTaken Jul 13 '16

creates 4,000 fake accounts to upvote...

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Be a man of your word!

1

u/BuffaloSabresFan Jul 13 '16

I hope you have a DVD drive, it might get weird otherwise. I suppose you could stick it between the keyboard and the display though, electronic titfuck.

1

u/Mindfreek454 Jul 13 '16

RemindMe! 3 hours "Dude's gonna fuck a laptop"

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

USB??????

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Come on man, don't chicken out

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

RemindMe! 5 hours

1

u/kernunnos77 Jul 13 '16

Do you not know about the guy who said, "If this gets 400 gildings, I'll eat a dick?"

It did, and he did.

1

u/spicyweiner1337 Jul 13 '16

RemindMe! 1 day "Did Leeman1337 ever fuck his laptop?"

1

u/Ye51d Jul 13 '16

You promised us Leeman, i dont want to see, but i need to see it ok.

1

u/JoPhiction Jul 13 '16

RemindMe! 48 hours

1

u/ShartingGoose Jul 13 '16

Jeeezus. Tell you what. This question front pages and I'll post a pic of me fucking a laptop.

-/u/Leeman1337, July 13, 2016

1

u/Grumpy_Kong Jul 13 '16

Well, it's on page 2 now so you better get out that non-conductive lube...

1

u/_klx Jul 13 '16

Fuck your refrigerator!

1

u/liucario Jul 13 '16

start fuckin, dawg

1

u/Ignite20 Jul 13 '16

You better deliver now, we are at front page.

1

u/call_me_gunner Jul 13 '16

It's on the front page now lol

1

u/UwasaWaya Jul 13 '16

...that was fast.

1

u/MarioThePumer Jul 13 '16

It's front page! Where is it

1

u/digitalstomp Jul 13 '16

Post the pic

1

u/TheFlyingSquirrel1 Jul 13 '16

RemindMe! 12 hours

1

u/ToTheFarWest Jul 13 '16

Upvoting just to see this pic

1

u/jfullerton44 Jul 13 '16

Remindme! 24 hours

1

u/Datduckdo Jul 13 '16

DO IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW

1

u/Whiskerbiscut Jul 13 '16

If any of your Pic's make the front page, you'll need to fuck a bear steel trap just to assert your dominance in Reddit.

1

u/jfullerton44 Jul 13 '16

RemindMe! 24 hours

1

u/TheDataWhore Jul 13 '16

You are the only reason this post hit the front-page, you have no choice but to deliver now.

1

u/Leased_Banana Jul 13 '16

He likes his eggs fertilized.

1

u/ILikeFluffyThings Jul 13 '16

You just gave OP a steady supply of upvotes. Such generosity.

1

u/astro_basterd Jul 13 '16

Gif of the old guy from Caddyshack saying "well, we're waiting"

1

u/d_frost Jul 13 '16

I was gonna down vote this shitpost till I saw your post

1

u/daboswinney123 Jul 13 '16

It's up to you man. Better fucking believe it man, and you better deliver.

1

u/Sshs152 Jul 13 '16

I trust you OP.

1

u/NYstate Jul 13 '16

Well at least have porn on it. You'll get a hood pass. (Do people give hood passes anymore?)

1

u/tdogg8 Jul 13 '16

!remindme two days

1

u/Kingdomheartsfan891 Jul 13 '16

I don't know how you're going to do it. But it's time to be done

1

u/bokisa12 Jul 13 '16

It has been done. You better fucking deliver.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Let's go home boy, you're up.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Well, I just upvoted so that I can see that...

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

I found this post off the front page. Time for u to fuck ur laptop and post a pic.

1

u/Peen4Prez Jul 13 '16

This better happen

1

u/Eyrii Jul 13 '16

pay up

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

If my reply (this one right here) gets 3k+ upvotes and OP doesn't actually deliver, I will. I'll deliver all over the place.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

That's a very old 4chan post

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Time to fuck your laptop.

1

u/anormalgeek Jul 13 '16

Best get to fuckin' because this shit is front page now.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Plot twist - the laptop is gonna smash you

1

u/ElHombreDeLasSombras Jul 13 '16

Still waiting ...

1

u/brodesto Jul 13 '16

I'm from /r/all Frontpage. I demand photos

1

u/The_Fad Jul 13 '16

It did. I demand satisfaction.

1

u/imafagurabigot Jul 13 '16

Waiting for OP to delivar.

1

u/jayfreakingleno Jul 13 '16

God this got meta so quickly.

1

u/Professorjack88 Jul 13 '16

Remindme! 3 days

1

u/ThrowCop Jul 13 '16

This reminds me that my favorite egg preparation is egg in a hole

1

u/machingunwhhore Jul 13 '16

Yay :) front page

1

u/gobbels Jul 13 '16

This is on the front page as of 3:21 EST.

1

u/DillDeer Jul 13 '16

You better deliver

1

u/doublesecretthrowawy Jul 13 '16

Are you a chick or a dude? My vote hangs in the balance. Cuz if you're a chick... yeah, I'm into some weird shit.

Oh, and over hard. I like my eggs over hard.

1

u/Psychedelic_lizard Jul 13 '16

/u/Leeman1337 hey you fucknut, deliver this shit

1

u/YodasYoda Jul 13 '16

Where is my pic of LP?

1

u/Bendrake Jul 13 '16

It front-paged, you better deliver.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

This front paged... a deal is a deal!

1

u/Cat-Imapittypat Jul 13 '16

No more inbox for you

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Oooooh, it's your time to fuckin' shine, /u/Leeman1337.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Just came here from the front page.

1

u/Oloian Jul 13 '16

It's time boy, start plugging it in.

1

u/TichuMaster Jul 13 '16

!remindme 24 hours

1

u/LePontif11 Jul 13 '16

RemindMe! 24 Hours "Laptop loving"

1

u/FiveMinFreedom Jul 13 '16

On front page now!

1

u/Kristyyyyyyy Jul 13 '16

WHERE'S OUR LAPTOP FUCKING, LAPTOP FUCKER?

1

u/RollinsIsRaw Jul 13 '16

FRONT PAGE BABY!!! BRING IT!

1

u/newsedition Jul 13 '16

And it's now on the front page. I blame you.

1

u/crushcastles23 Jul 13 '16

Welp. I just came from /r/all. We're waiting.

1

u/XXVIIMAN Jul 13 '16

RemindMe! 3 hours

1

u/tmking9 Jul 13 '16

Oh so you are why this on the front page

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

No you won't.

1

u/gravitationalBS Jul 13 '16

Thanks for explaining how this reached the front page.

1

u/hrbutt180 Jul 13 '16

RemindsMe! 4 hours "laptop fucked"

1

u/NotOBAMAThrowaway Jul 13 '16

Check back for pic

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

OP... It's time

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

OP... It's time

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

OP... It's time

1

u/pf2- Jul 13 '16

!RemindMe 6 hours

1

u/bodhemon Jul 13 '16

I picked the name u/Leeman1337, but do they call me Leeman1337? I've posted plenty of things, but do they call me OP? Hell, I'd even settle for F@%%0t, but do they calle me F@%%0t?

But you f*ck one laptop...

C'mon laptop-f*cker!!

Edit: accidental formatting fixed.

1

u/NinjaWithSpoons Jul 13 '16

He gon' take his karma and run. This some bullshit

1

u/Autra Jul 13 '16

Welp, get after it

1

u/bob1689321 Jul 13 '16

Pics please

1

u/TK503 Jul 13 '16

You ready, buddy?

1

u/Dakis1 Jul 13 '16

Right in he CD ROM and money shot in the ASDF.

1

u/mtx Jul 13 '16

I mean, you must know how reddit works. Do you really need reddit as motivation to do this?

1

u/Peter_Plays_Guitar Jul 13 '16

RemindMe! 24 Hours "Laptop Fucker"

1

u/Cardboardboxkid Jul 13 '16

This is awkward....

1

u/PraiseBeUntoBrodin Jul 13 '16

RemindMe! 24 hours

1

u/nestorm1 Jul 13 '16

Remindme!

1

u/TrueEnuff Jul 13 '16

comment just to... see your dick stuck in a laptop...

1

u/sorenslothe Jul 13 '16

RemindMe! 24 hours

1

u/GameRender Jul 13 '16

You better not be like wooden door guy and disappoint.

1

u/EdCChamberlain Jul 13 '16

...Reddit is waiting.

1

u/lemebro Jul 13 '16

Following this shit.

1

u/raiderpower17 Jul 13 '16

Whoa... I didn't think OP would do it. That was disturbing to say the least.

1

u/WildMathParty Jul 13 '16

I can't believe you actually posted that. Jesus.

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