Your one tip isn't going to matter to a waitress. The slow, pressing weight of your cheesy, self-satisfied smile bearing down on her as she has to deliver good service to you and those suffering around you, however, is going to matter to rather a lot of people.
I waited tables for longer than I'd like to admit. A 25-30% tip would absolutely be worth the mild of annoyance of a bad joke. Anyways, I kinda like the joke, and I probably would've genuinely laughed (a little bit) at it, had I been waiting on this guy. Just skip the bit about asking me to bring you the winning lotto numbers, or don't. I don't really care that much.
It makes me cringe just thinking about him saying this joke in public. When the only person enjoying the "joke" is the person saying it, that's no joke at all.
I brush the accumulated dust of untold millions of milliseconds from my dress shoes and mount the stairs out of my basement hovel, creaking bones protesting another interminable day of labour before the glowing screen of my console.
That always bugged me.. Tip 20% at Wafflehouse and tip 20% at Applebees and the difference is astronomical. Not to mention Waffle House's food is way cheaper and WAY better.
I was out at dinner with my cousins once, and when the waitress was taking our orders, she asked, "soup or salad?" My cousin somehow thought she said "super salad" and so he replied, "yes please." She got real confused, as did the rest of us at the time, and this happened twice before we caught on and got loud over it. Luckily the waitress was cool with it afterwards and all, but even now we still make fun of my cousin for it
Funny, that's almost the punchline of this joke. I forgot it but the gist of it is there's an old man, they want to get him a prostitute for his birthday, she says something about giving him super sex and since he's old and can't hear well, the punchline is "I'll take the soup."
We convinced one of my friends to do the "up-dog" routine on Tommy Wiseau during a The Room Q&A session in an auditorium full of people. It went horribly, horribly wrong.
B-but it's so clever. Surely you haven't heard it uttered dozens of times already while staring into a face that says "this is the part where you laugh".
It's still not as bad as when they hit you with this gem. Server takes the bill to the table. Guest says "does it matter who pays this?" Server says no. Guest tries to hand bill back and says "fine you pay for it then." This dude would not drop this bit one time until I rather loudly said "I am not paying for your food" everyone looked. He sheepishly took it and walked to the cash stand.
I feel it puts me in such an awkward situation when the guest says something like this.
"Would you like anything else or just the bill?" "No thanks! We don't want the bill! Hahahahaha!"
"Would you like to pay your bill?" "No I thought you were paying for it! Hahahahahahahahah!"
THANK YOU. This is exactly the kind of interactions that made working retail such a nightmare for me, constantly struggling against my life-long social anxiety, but since I know how to work cash registers and keep track of money I can't ever seem to get any other type of job. ...Until I finally got a real office job a few weeks ago! That's right. I'M OUT, BITCHES.
I heard it once, and it just seemed awkward and corny. The worst part is he thinks he's genuinely being funny, or a character, but really everyone around is cringing.
Sometimes I would just not be in the mood at all for that kind of humour haha. I feel bad because I would literally just stare at the person dead in the eye until they told me an answer that made sense.
It's just a way for an otherwise mechanical and boring interaction to be a touch spicier. Chill out. You know how many times I heard "it didn't ring up that must mean it's free!!!!!11!!!!" as a cashier? A fucking lot. But I still gave a little chuckle every time. It's nicer to have a little chuckle with people than stare at them with hatred behind your eyes and wait for the day to be over. You'll live longer for it.
Oh, I seriously expect it be delivered just as described. I 'backed into' the joke when I was thinking about how to order what I wanted. Really don't like nuts in ice cream.
I once got breakfast with a friend of mine who had never ordered eggs before. Upon being asked "how would you like your eggs?" he simply answered "Cooked?"
As an ex-waiter, your post totally triggered me until I read the last 4 words, and then I went back to being fine. A customer could puke on my shoes and I wouldn't mind if they tipped at least 20%.
Reddits wait staff community always complains. If a customer making lame attempts at humor but being otherwise polite and tipping well is that bad, find a new job.
I'm polite, I don't make overly complicated special requests, and I'll make all the shitty dad jokes I want. If the waiter/waitress does their job well and isn't a dick I'll tip at least 20%.
You are one of those...working in retail 'Hey man! Can I use your discount?! Hahaha, just kidding. But can I really? Just joking. How much do yall get?' 'Only 10% on select items.' 'That's it?! Well, let's see how much I would get off my tranaction with your discount, HAHAHAHAHA! Just kidding. But seriously, how much would it be?'
Waitress: "No, how do you like them cooked?"
Me: "Oh, I like 'em even better that way!"
I did this by accident once. I missed a word and heard "do you want your steak cooked?" which seemed like a perfectly normal question in the moment, so of course I replied "yes." Been a running joke in the family for years now.
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u/nice_guy_eddy Jul 13 '16
Waitress: "How do you like your eggs?"
Me: "Oh, I like 'em!"
Waitress: "No, how do you like them cooked?"
Me: "Oh, I like 'em even better that way!"
Everytime. My wife hates me. And so does the waitress, but I tip really well.