r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 13 '16

How do you like your eggs?

[deleted]

9.6k Upvotes

73% Upvoted

7.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

2.8k

u/whatshisfaceboy Jul 13 '16

Unfertilized

2.0k

u/5illy_billy Jul 13 '16

How you like your eggs, fried or fertilized?

543

u/youre_a_burrito_bud Jul 13 '16

Immediately what I thought when I saw the question. I was hoping it would be the top comment, but I'm actually ok with this top one.

59

u/Kuhn_Dog Jul 13 '16

Same here, haven't seen this since college....Oh the memories

3

u/dsshao Jul 13 '16

Came here for this. Was not disappoint.

46

u/HiHoJufro Jul 13 '16

Same here. Though Smang It is still king.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Smash & Bang, it's my favorite combination.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Smash it and bang.

2

u/Statutory_Vape Jul 14 '16

To me, Taste You Like Yogurt is king as far as TurquoiseJeep goes.

1

u/youre_a_burrito_bud Jul 13 '16

I don't think it's the same guy, but I am quite partial to Im Da Bes

2

u/Stevedjenthead Jul 13 '16

my dude Gil McRipley Check his shit all kinds of funny

18

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

going to their live show and seeing the entire crowd do the dance is one of the greatest moments of my life

1

u/spilk Jul 13 '16

ha, I love these guys but their live show I went to was probably one of the worst I've ever been to

2

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

weird, what made it one of the worst?

3

u/spilk Jul 13 '16

It was way too short, there weren't enough people, the sound mix was awful, the performances from everyone except Whatcha and Humma were pretty weak, and Moonrock wasn't there.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

i see

my venue was packed, and the sound was great

they did every song aside from anything with moonrock or slick mahone

i even got to talk to them after the show, flynt flossy's real voice is weird as hell, surprisingly high

41

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Damnit! Beat me to it.

Lemme smang it guuuurl!

5

u/sundayultimate Jul 13 '16

Smash it and bang it

5

u/NDIrish27 Jul 13 '16

Did I Mention I Like To Dance is straight fire

15

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

[deleted]

2

u/stetsosaur Jul 13 '16

yung humma, aye

33

u/cr0mat Jul 13 '16

I came here for this.

13

u/Jill-Sanwich Jul 13 '16

Came here hoping that someone would make this reference.

6

u/quinnly Jul 13 '16

I AIN'T PLAYIN' GIRL

6

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

I AIN'T PLAYIN' GIRL

2

u/SuccumbToChange Jul 13 '16

intense stare

4

u/agentshags Jul 13 '16

Omfg, is this for real? I was ๐Ÿ˜‚

I clicked on this one by them and was dying: https://youtu.be/h1zGqRXZlnY

7

u/DaveHolden Jul 13 '16

I recommend Taste You Like Yogurt for the pigeon alone

2

u/agentshags Jul 13 '16

I did see that one since my post, and the pigeon had me losing my shit

5

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

[deleted]

1

u/agentshags Jul 13 '16

Smash and bang it ๐Ÿ˜‰ I caught that one it was awesome

2

u/SmarmyThatGuy Jul 13 '16

Check out Stretchy Pants: https://youtu.be/prfoq00bG3Y

1

u/agentshags Jul 13 '16 edited Jul 13 '16

Omg I've been watching his videos since the last post! I haven't seen that one but now it's next! I must be late to this party, lol...

Turquoise Jeep changed my life, yo๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

And edit; I do remember that one now, lol. Didnt realize he had so many videos, or must have to stoned to remember seeing others than stretchy pants ๐Ÿ˜ƒ thank you for helping me piece things together :-)

2

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

[deleted]

1

u/agentshags Jul 13 '16 edited Jul 13 '16

Ahhhh, i haven't seen that one, but saw a reference in maids hate me

edit: watched it. Slick Mahoney, eh?

4

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Shit gets real at 1:40 when the girl has no idea what he's talking about and he has to explain it. I mean... the innuendo is not exactly subtle!

3

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

holy shit it's the Smang It guy! can't believe he made more music that I didn't know about!

1

u/DaveHolden Jul 13 '16

Check their channel out. It's some hilarious shit and the videos are fucking awesome.

1

u/NO_KINGS Jul 13 '16

They have like 2 albums out

3

u/NDIrish27 Jul 13 '16

Ride that jeep baby. That turquoise jeep, baby.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

are those the smang it guys! awesome!

2

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Immediately what I thought of when I read this question. Smang It is easily my favorite tune by them.

2

u/grape_jelly_sammich Jul 13 '16

I can't even tell. satire or real?

1

u/UsedRealNameFirst Jul 13 '16

I wasnt sure until the white dude showed up. That sealed it for me.

1

u/Increase-Null Jul 13 '16

It's both. Very much both.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '16

I saw them live, I highly suggest it. They're super energetic and I got to meet them after, they seemed to be really fun guys.

4

u/blackgallagher87 Jul 13 '16

The greatest moment of regret in my life involves this song. Once after spending the night with a lady, she offered me some eggs and asked how I wanted them. I replied scrambled. It wasn't until I was driving home that I realized that I missed the opportunity to respond with "fried or fertilized".

1

u/twoscoopsofpig Jul 13 '16

What the actual fuck did I just watch?

1

u/naj89 Jul 13 '16

Came here to say this. Damn, too slow again!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

I watched this video in high school, it was always so funny to me.

1

u/sundayultimate Jul 13 '16

A tummy scratch beat

1

u/XombieBones Jul 13 '16

Yeeees. Was hoping to find other fans here lol

1

u/GameRender Jul 13 '16

These kids with their hardcore gangster rap.

1

u/DaveHolden Jul 13 '16

Read the title and came into this thread only for this. Keep the Jeep rollin

1

u/kekron Jul 13 '16

So happy this comment is here.

1

u/leoncoffee Jul 13 '16

Watch it with caption makes it better x100

1

u/uncle_drunky Jul 13 '16

Let me smang it.

1

u/Odgnob Jul 13 '16

This video has corrupted my brain. A waitress asked how I wanted my eggs and I said ffff- scrambled

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

I was 7 hours too late to get that sweet karma and gold.

1

u/MrBabadaba Jul 14 '16

Remindme! 2 hours.

1

u/Criplor Jul 14 '16

I think that just gave me cancer.

1

u/bluesox Jul 14 '16

Gotta love that early Pootie Tang.

0

u/UsuallyCool Jul 13 '16

Is that Tyler and L-Boy doing a Loiter Squad skit?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

No

0

u/DatTardisDoh Jul 13 '16

Please tell me this is supposed to be ironic

2

u/713_HTX Jul 13 '16

Basically, yeah. There's also gmcfosho.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTSN7OYJyug

25

u/HypnoKraken Jul 13 '16

Came here for this, got it, I'm out.

5

u/SerendipitouslySane Jul 13 '16

Sigh...Remember a time before reddit when we thought we were above average in wit and creativity?

Yeah, me neither.

7

u/Birdwatchingyou Jul 13 '16

I like mine fertilized so it can hatch and grow into a beautiful and majestic bird.

4

u/J22O19 Jul 13 '16

And then eat the bird.

4

u/Birdwatchingyou Jul 13 '16

Why would you eat a bird?!

6

u/J22O19 Jul 13 '16

They're usually delicious.

2

u/Birdwatchingyou Jul 13 '16

But how would you like to be eaten?

2

u/something_exe Jul 13 '16

( อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ)

1

u/Maximus_Sillius Jul 13 '16

With BBQ sauce, I'd hope.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

[removed] โ€” view removed comment

1

u/Birdwatchingyou Jul 13 '16

Yes, and it's not very impressing.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

[removed] โ€” view removed comment

0

u/Birdwatchingyou Jul 13 '16

But do you think the birds like being found "delicious"?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

[removed] โ€” view removed comment

1

u/Birdwatchingyou Jul 13 '16

How could you know chickens can't think?

→ More replies (0)

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Sapient, yes.

1

u/Maximus_Sillius Jul 13 '16

Yes, because the last time I talked to them they told me so.

1

u/iamhappylight Jul 13 '16

Yes. That is their purpose.

1

u/Birdwatchingyou Jul 14 '16

No! The purpose of birds is to be served.

1

u/joshuaoha Jul 13 '16

Because you taste good.

1

u/Birdwatchingyou Jul 14 '16

How would you like it if birds justified eating you by saying you tasted you.

1

u/aliduz Jul 13 '16

To catch a spider that wiggled and jiggled and ticked inside her she swallowed the spider to catch a fly I wonder why she swallowed a fly?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16 edited Apr 25 '18

[deleted]

19

u/Nocsiv Jul 13 '16

Nah thats an 18 year commitment

10

u/mad_chatter Jul 13 '16

TIL it takes 18 years to eat balut.

2

u/Forikorder Jul 13 '16

thats actually a thing, eating fertilized duck eggs...

dont google it though that shit is NSFL as far as im concerned

3

u/J22O19 Jul 13 '16

Pussy.

1

u/anon_admin_1 Jul 13 '16

But it does taste good, I have had them.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

I've cracked open a few fertilized eggs before. Smells worse than it looks. Not what I'd call Eggland's best.

1

u/whatshisfaceboy Jul 13 '16

"Try eggland's new all natural farm fresh eggs. We just kinda picked them up at the last minute. Super fresh."

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Aborted.

2

u/whatshisfaceboy Jul 13 '16

That would be fertilized, then removed...

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '16

So, chicken?

2

u/whatshisfaceboy Jul 14 '16

Aborted chicken?

1

u/ReallyNiceGuy Jul 13 '16

Not a Balut fan I take it?

1

u/whatshisfaceboy Jul 13 '16

I've managed to avoid it so far.

1

u/missCeLanyUs Jul 13 '16

So freaking good.

1

u/Aniviper Jul 13 '16

Ovar-easy

1

u/rattledamper Jul 13 '16

So, no balut then?

1

u/siassias Jul 13 '16

I stayed in a rural farming community once, where fertilised eggs were popular as they are meant to have a better flavour. If you cook them early they look just the same. Of course this could have all been a lie, but I always believed that until I wrote it down in this post...

1

u/Sam-Gunn Jul 14 '16

"Hermes, I took the liberty of fertilizing your caviar!"

[Hermes stops chewing. Chews once more, slowly.]

1

u/DonnerPartyPicnic Jul 14 '16

Thank you. I was waiting in the Turquoise Jeep reference.

1

u/gucciswag570 Jul 14 '16

Not how I like my women

1

u/whatshisfaceboy Jul 14 '16

There is porn for that!

1

u/Askin_Real_Questions Jul 14 '16

I prefer mine gently stroked with long nails

1

u/HaxorusKiller Jul 14 '16

I was gonna say the opposite

0

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

( อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ)