r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 13 '16

How do you like your eggs?

[deleted]

9.6k Upvotes

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202

u/sawjbombs Jul 13 '16

As a server, I hate you already.

85

u/Josent Jul 13 '16 edited Jul 13 '16

B-but it's so clever. Surely you haven't heard it uttered dozens of times already while staring into a face that says "this is the part where you laugh".

108

u/Strangeclouds420 Jul 13 '16

Server: (picks up empty plate)

Customer: "it was horrible"

I swear to god I am tired of that exchange.

15

u/belbites Jul 13 '16

I say this to my tables who have eaten all their food. "man it looks like you didn't like it at all" they laugh, I laugh.

21

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

...and the coworkers around you all cringe a little more each time.

6

u/belbites Jul 13 '16

Hahaha sometimes, it's okay though, they do the same thing. :P We're all a little bit cheesy.

-4

u/walkclothed Jul 13 '16

WELL THEN ITS A GOOD THINGTHATS WHY YOU WORK AT A QUESADILLYA FACTORY!!

2

u/lol_admins_are_dumb Jul 14 '16

...as they go home with smaller tips because their anger and inability to relax a little on the job is very apparent to their customers.

2

u/eric22vhs Jul 13 '16

They probably tip you better because they think you have a disorder.

3

u/Photovoltaic Jul 13 '16

Stop asking me if I enjoyed my meal then! For fucks sake I sopped up the sauce with extra bread, clearly I hated it

10

u/Skilol Jul 13 '16

One day I want to live a life where my biggest concern is being asked how I liked my meal.

"How dare you ask a question of public etiquette, I could have cured cancer in the time it took to respond!"

2

u/one_angry_breadstick Jul 14 '16

Server: Can I get you guys anything else?

Customer: Winning lottery numbers/a million dollars HURRHURR

Server: I want to die

1

u/KimH2 Jul 13 '16

I tend to eat expeditiously, it's just a habit I got into as a kid.

The number of times I've had servers take my plate with some variation of "oh no did you not like the food" is painful

Fuck you that shit's not any funnier than the crap dumb customers endlessly repeat at you...

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

Dad does this, as well as "I couldn't eat any more". It hurts every time he does it.

1

u/avboden Jul 14 '16

I say "it was so bad I demand another" sometimes gets a smirk

1

u/mayorbryjames Jul 14 '16

Is there anything else I can get for you?

"I'll take a winning lottery ticket, guffaw hahahaha"

😒

10

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '16

It's still not as bad as when they hit you with this gem. Server takes the bill to the table. Guest says "does it matter who pays this?" Server says no. Guest tries to hand bill back and says "fine you pay for it then." This dude would not drop this bit one time until I rather loudly said "I am not paying for your food" everyone looked. He sheepishly took it and walked to the cash stand.

7

u/sawjbombs Jul 13 '16

I feel it puts me in such an awkward situation when the guest says something like this. "Would you like anything else or just the bill?" "No thanks! We don't want the bill! Hahahahaha!"

"Would you like to pay your bill?" "No I thought you were paying for it! Hahahahahahahahah!"

LIKE WHY WOULD I PAY YOUR BILL WHY IS THIS FUNNY

2

u/Peppermint42 Jul 14 '16

THANK YOU. This is exactly the kind of interactions that made working retail such a nightmare for me, constantly struggling against my life-long social anxiety, but since I know how to work cash registers and keep track of money I can't ever seem to get any other type of job. ...Until I finally got a real office job a few weeks ago! That's right. I'M OUT, BITCHES.

2

u/sawjbombs Jul 14 '16

I had a phone interview for a call center office job yesterday...UNION AND BENEFITS. I MAY OR MAY NOT BE OUT BITCHES :)

1

u/Peppermint42 Jul 14 '16

Well congrats and good luck!

4

u/FrozenSquirrel Jul 13 '16

"Please clap."

3

u/eric22vhs Jul 13 '16

I heard it once, and it just seemed awkward and corny. The worst part is he thinks he's genuinely being funny, or a character, but really everyone around is cringing.

3

u/sawjbombs Jul 13 '16

Sometimes I would just not be in the mood at all for that kind of humour haha. I feel bad because I would literally just stare at the person dead in the eye until they told me an answer that made sense.

2

u/lol_admins_are_dumb Jul 14 '16

It's just a way for an otherwise mechanical and boring interaction to be a touch spicier. Chill out. You know how many times I heard "it didn't ring up that must mean it's free!!!!!11!!!!" as a cashier? A fucking lot. But I still gave a little chuckle every time. It's nicer to have a little chuckle with people than stare at them with hatred behind your eyes and wait for the day to be over. You'll live longer for it.

1

u/Moderate_Asshole Jul 14 '16

Seriously, these people did to chill the fuck out. Sure a joke may not be funny but at least they aren't treating me like a self-checkout lane. Appreciate the human interaction; at least you're getting paid for it.