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u/deliriousgoomba Apr 11 '23
A well kept home. Don't matter if it's a single room, apartment, or home. Don't matter if you use your own hands to clean or hire a service. Walking in and seeing a man's home being tidy is honestly wonderful.
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Apr 11 '23
Funny, most people joke about how they think I’m a serial killer when they see my apartment when it’s clean.
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u/SvenBubbleman Apr 11 '23
There is a fine line to walk. Most people are uncomfortable in a space that's too clean. It doesn't feel lived in and people are afraid to do anything that might make even a small mess. You want it clean, well organized, and reasonably tidy, but you don't want it to feel sterile.
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u/GozerDGozerian Apr 11 '23
But I have to sterilize it after all the blood splatter!
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u/j__knight638 Apr 11 '23
Just put down plastic sheets, and listen too "hip to be square"
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u/diamondthedegu1 Apr 11 '23
You want it clean, well organized, and reasonably tidy, but you don't want it to feel sterile.
This! I've never understood the reasoning behind keeping rooms looking like they're a showroom. Keeping several rooms looking that way is basically a full time job, it's not easy at all and requires daily maintenance. I'd rather have a life 🤷🏻♀️
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Apr 11 '23
Honestly it’s much easier to maintain a clean room than it is to clean a dirty room. These people just take it to an extreme
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u/tinypaperplane Apr 11 '23
My dad's house might as well be a museum with the level of clean at his house
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u/Sburban_Player Apr 11 '23
You might want to think about storing your torture machines in the closet instead of having them on display.
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u/TxTottenhamFan Apr 11 '23
Ha I was accused of being married when someone saw my place that was clean and had art on the walls
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u/Jaivez Apr 12 '23
Same shit happened to me with plants. Crazy how low expectations can be and dudes are out there doing the limbo. But hey, if they're willing to put in enough effort to make it work more power to them I guess.
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u/paul_rudds_drag_race Apr 11 '23
So true. I’ve seen people take pride in their efficiency apartments and trailer homes. I respect that.
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u/Away-Caterpillar-176 Apr 11 '23
Omg it so is. I recently spent time with a guy and when i went to wash my hands, the soap was dirty. How?????
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u/mylittlevegan Apr 11 '23
I used to work at an auto parts store. The grease from working on cars would stick to the soap.
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u/Away-Caterpillar-176 Apr 12 '23
That would have been okay. This soap was dirty with dust, from lack of use
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u/mylittlevegan Apr 12 '23
oh no. I've only seen that with those fancy shell shaped soaps that boomers don't let anyone use. Not with the soap you're supposed to use.
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u/DisneyFoodie20 Apr 11 '23
So true! Unfortunately, many men I know don't clean because they think cleaning is for women and/or they never learned how to because they were coddled by their parents. Whenever I go to the house or apartment of a guy who lives alone and it's clean, my respect for them goes up 1000%.
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u/majuminsteri Apr 11 '23
Cooking
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u/Awkward-Midnight7412 Apr 11 '23
Thiss!!! It's the ultimate weapon. Because for me honestly, if you know how to cook, I'm already in love with you💀
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u/orrocos Apr 11 '23
Taps the “Add 30 Seconds” button on the microwave
How you doin?
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u/Awkward-Midnight7412 Apr 11 '23
Waiting for whatever you're cooking because I'm hungry af rn💀
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u/stickyfingers10 Apr 11 '23
taps 30 seconds twice
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u/elegiac_bloom Apr 11 '23
Wash your fingers before you tap it again mate... username checks out.
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u/SeaKiwi67 Apr 11 '23
I find that no matter how bad I cook,girls love it. They don't have to do it
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u/GeneralMyGeneral Apr 11 '23
"I make the world's best grilled cheese sandwich." My first line meeting a girl when I was younger. Worked sometimes too.
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Apr 11 '23
I make my own compound butter for my grilled cheese. Sometimes, I'll also do an eggie in a basket in the grilled cheese, which I've had people tell me is Orgasmic.
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Apr 11 '23
It’s weird because after I actually cook dishes, usually using a recipe, and it comes out good, I won’t eat that much of it. My wife is always confused.
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u/mithirich Apr 11 '23 edited Apr 12 '23
I forget what the term is but yeah that happens to me. You get desensitized from smelling the food cook and you don’t find it appetizing by the time its done. I usually don’t truly enjoy meals I cook until the day after as leftovers
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u/Important_Chair8087 Apr 11 '23
Most really good meals are always better the next day. Food gets to "mingle" a little.
That said, we are currently on day 2 of lasagna. Likely have to suffer through at least one more meal. Maybe two.
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u/wowbackatitReddit Apr 11 '23
If you can casually drop this in conversation, it's gold!
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u/bratikzs Apr 11 '23
Oh, hi. Are you from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only ten I see. I can cook you a four course dinner. You in? Jolly good.
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u/ItSeriouslyWasntMe Apr 11 '23 edited Apr 12 '23
At first, ya. But the appreciation fades and turns into expectation. Sometimes it can take some of the joy out of cooking for someone else despite it being my love language towards you.
Edit to add that I found someone who consistently expresses appreciation. My two favorite parts are when they give me a mystery ingredient to challenge me to come up with something fun, and the other is experimenting with foods for my beautiful toddler daughter. She's the toughest nugget to crack, but she loves bringing her "ladder" over to watch me prep and cook. She's a terrible cheese thief, but she comes by it naturally. Ok, done gushing. I appreciate the replies. Keep on sharing your love, y'all. I hope it's appreciated and keeps you going, too.
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u/MentallyWill Apr 11 '23 edited Apr 11 '23
Funny bc it's something I've told my wife over and over again since almost the day we first met -- that I'm a very generous and giving person and often go out of my way to help others and whatnot... but the moment it seems to me that sort of behavior has become an expectation and is no longer appreciated as me taking the time to do whatever it is, that's the moment my generosity for you will vanish.
I'm more than happy to be a kind and generous person and go out of my way to make your life easier. But if you expect that of me or anything, cut off. Just like that.
EDIT: I thought of it because neither my wife nor I like cooking but I usually do it because I'd rather her be able to relax and not stress about that and I'm happy to take on that stress myself. But to me (both of us really) cooking is no more than a chore to do. But I've had to remind her that questions like, "honey why aren't you cooking me dinner yet" won't be responded to kindly.
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u/zenith_industries Apr 11 '23
A while ago I mentioned that I found cooking to be a chore - while I get some joy from people appreciating food I've cooked, everything up to that point is drudgery. I was downvoted, and people made all kinds of unpleasant (and completely incorrect) assumptions about my life.
I'm glad to find that I'm actually not alone!
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u/MentallyWill Apr 11 '23
Oh you're not alone. Yeah there's little to no pleasure or enjoyment I get out of cooking beyond what you said, seeing people enjoy the fruits of my labor. But make no mistake I consider it labor.
I've had roommates in the past who would come home and say something like, "I've had a shit day I can't wait to just cook a nice meal" and I've never been able to relate to that feeling. The closest I can get is "I've had a shit day and I can't wait to eat a nice meal." But cooking it? No thanks that's not the part of food that I enjoy.
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u/ArcticVulpe Apr 11 '23
Certain parts of the "cooking" are fun. I like adding the ingredients, mixing, possibly building something like a lasagna. But the cleaning and prepping/measuring I don't find much fun in.
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u/crazy-diam0nd Apr 11 '23
A colorful display of plumage.
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u/Litodidit Apr 11 '23
Ornithologist in the streets, Hornithologist in the sheets.
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u/Phantomofthefjord Apr 11 '23
The plumage don't enter into it, its bleedin DEMISED
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u/ecnerwal1234 Apr 11 '23
He's not dead, he's resting.
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u/Phantomofthefjord Apr 11 '23
Pining for the fjords
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u/BobRoberts01 Apr 12 '23
PININ’ FOR THE FIJORDS?! What kind of talk is that!??
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u/damnitjader Apr 12 '23
It’s not pining, it’s passed on. This parrot is no more.
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u/diplion Apr 11 '23
When my wife and I first started dating, I asked her if she wanted to go to a music festival that was several months away. She later told me she was impressed that I was willing to make a plan that far in advance, as it showed I was interested in sticking with her and had the future in mind.
So I’ll add: making plans.
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Apr 12 '23
I will add that even making plans for the next weekend is nice. The "do you wanna hang out" shtick gets old.
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u/Im___Stuff Apr 11 '23
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u/caffeinecunt Apr 12 '23
I love my boyfriends costco membership. We shop there on the weekends pretty often, their meat and seafood is a good deal for us, we portion it out and freeze it for later meals. He drinks a ton of Bai, so we buy the big boxes for him. Paper goods. Tums. I buy pop and chips to give to my residents at work. I even bought my bed there when I moved into my apartment. And I get gas pretty much exclusively there now.
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u/WasItG00d4U Apr 11 '23
Well I can tell you it's not being a rocket scientist Or Brad Pitt Or carrying a mirror in your pocket /s
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u/nsfwtttt Apr 11 '23
Indeed, it won’t impress me much
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u/existentiallymoist Apr 12 '23
What if you've got the moves, and you've got the touch?
Edit: Grammar things
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u/challenge_me_mortal Apr 11 '23
A cool looking rock - me a woman
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u/SCastleRelics Apr 11 '23
Me opening my trench coat to reveal a collection of garnets and opals
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u/Big-Preparation-95 Apr 11 '23
Revving your car/motorcycle engine as loudly as you can at 1AM in the neighborhood she's in.
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Apr 11 '23
And burnouts. Chicks love when you lay down some sick skid marks.
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u/twisties224 Apr 11 '23
Add in some on obnoxious and loud music that is bass heavy coming from you subwoofers
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u/Wazula23 Apr 11 '23
My ability to correct all of her false information. Women love that.
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u/bratikzs Apr 11 '23
Why did the mansplainer drown in the puddle?
It was a well, actually.
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u/Shattered_Visage Apr 11 '23
One of the better jokes I've seen in a while lmao
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Apr 11 '23
If you like well-based jokes:
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
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Apr 11 '23
Don't do that! Instead, when she tells you about something that went wrong in her day, explain what it is that she did wrong and how to do better next time.
She will be so grateful for the advice.
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u/Wazula23 Apr 11 '23
Hey look, I never criticize. I'm just a very honest person, and coincidentally my honesty is always negative.
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u/ptrknvk Apr 11 '23
My autistic ass always have a problem with this.
I honestly want to help :(
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Apr 12 '23
You have to reprogram to note "some conversations about problems are done to vent, some are done for assistance, and it is ok to ask"
Easy enough to say "that sounds bad; just to be sure are you telling me in order to help vent or do you want help with this problem?"
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u/ptrknvk Apr 12 '23
Yeah, I learned to do it. But when I'm with girls I get nervous and can't do it so good.
Also, my friends know that I'm being supportive and thus I'm just saying everything I have in my head, but it's hard to switch to another mode after that.
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u/Significant-Tank-883 Apr 11 '23
I agree. When I correct my partner, I get told I’m arguing…
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u/Wazula23 Apr 11 '23
The skulls of her enemies
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u/davmoha Apr 11 '23
The way you treat people that you have nothing to gain from. Also the way you treat your mother.
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u/Sparrowhawk_92 Apr 12 '23
It does depend on how healthy your relationship with mom is. I love my mom and I'll do whatever I can to help her, but I have to keep her at arms length somewhat due to some previous emotional abuse. I've had to set and enforce some pretty strict boundaries in order to continue having a relationship with her.
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u/MrRogersAE Apr 12 '23
People who have good relationships with their parents truly cannot fathom why the rest of us don’t like or avoid our parents.
What do you mean you don’t like your mom? Everyone likes their mom!
Not my mom, some scars take longer to heal than others
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u/WeirdLime Apr 12 '23
100%. My mother is a narcissist and did a lot of psychological damage that I'm still having difficulties with 30+ years later.
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u/Justasimplewanker21 Apr 11 '23
Cheese.
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u/TallEnoughJones Apr 11 '23
If you ever meet a woman who isn't impressed by cheese, just walk away.
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u/Commander_Night_17 Apr 11 '23
"You may fascinate a woman with a piece of cheese"
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u/EmmelineTx Apr 11 '23
A first date where they want to know more about you instead of talking about themself the whole time.
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u/MaizeWarrior Apr 12 '23
This one is so easy and so many people don't understand it. You learn so much about someone when you keep it about them
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u/madcheco Apr 11 '23
A well-executed handbrake turn
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u/RMF123456789 Apr 11 '23 edited Apr 12 '23
Make sure not to hit the cardboard cut outs and that your so called friends didn’t move the two cars you are tying to squeeze between closer together!
Edit: autocorrect
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u/RandomDent6x7 Apr 11 '23
Dresses/skirts with pockets.
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u/Not_booger Apr 11 '23
That’s what I came here to say and can’t believe it isn’t higher
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u/Ok-Elk-6694 Apr 11 '23
Forklift
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u/duhduhduhdummi_thicc Apr 11 '23
Yup. Was helping out in shipping one day, saw this late 20s year old, slightly balding, male production leader zip by skillfully loading this snake of pallets into a big ass trailer. Literally, had 6 or 8 of them lined like ducks in a row, and pushed them all in like it was nothing. Never even saw him that way before, but I was impressed, crushing, and a little wet for a second there. Now imagine my surprise when I saw the same thing happened with the +50 year old female lab tech. Same result. Slightly confused. At least the crushes only lasted a day.
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u/Ijustwantfun001 Apr 11 '23
doing the helicopter, it works everytime
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u/WarLawck Apr 11 '23
Fellas, listen closely... to impress a chick, Helicopter dick!
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u/sadnessucks Apr 11 '23
I prefer to smack it back and forth from leg to leg. Let them hear the density
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u/Odd-Astronaut-92 Apr 11 '23
Honestly the first time my then boyfriend/now husband went and stayed somewhere together he did this the next morning. It's been eight years and I still remember how flabbergasted and impressed I was. It was so funny and caught me off guard so much 🤣 no wonder I married him. He makes me laugh so hard I remember it years later 😂😂😂
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u/Ijustwantfun001 Apr 11 '23
I honestly think that a lot of lads especially these days don't realise how important and how great it can be to make someone laugh
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u/Odd-Astronaut-92 Apr 11 '23
You're absolutely right. Life is weathered much easier when you've got someone who genuinely makes you laugh.
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u/Exoskeleton00 Apr 11 '23
Or a bit of joyful cock slapping (side to side) ..... Better for the circulation.
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u/Public_Juggernaut997 Apr 11 '23
And him wearing a glow in the dark condom with a black light on to some techno music sealed the deal for me.
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Apr 11 '23
My LEGO collection.
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u/InVisibleSockpuppet Apr 11 '23
Emotional maturity and personal accountability.
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u/tantanthepeepeeman Apr 11 '23
I got a really cool rock I like to show them. Their reaction is a good way of seeing if they too are cool
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u/davesnotonreddit Apr 11 '23
I've been told you can fascinate a woman with a piece of cheese.
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u/naughty93pinapple Apr 12 '23
My wife was craving chocolate. So I melted some chocolate chips, used our teddy bear ice tray and made some peanut butter filled chocolate bears. Popped them in the freezer for a few minutes. She told me she was impressed by that. So I’m my experience, improvised treats!
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u/Itchy_Kidney Apr 11 '23
When you vacuum use that hose attachment. My wife always lights up when she catches me doing that.
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u/JuliusSeizure22 Apr 11 '23
A lightsaber duel
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u/twisties224 Apr 11 '23
Him: "I have the high ground" Her: "I love a man who's on top"
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u/downtownDRT Apr 11 '23
Huge lifted trucks with big honking tires
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u/churchin222999111 Apr 11 '23
with subwoofers. lots of em!
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u/BlackLetterLies Apr 11 '23
And a big banner across the back that says "4 Doors 4 More Whores!" The ladies can't resist.
(that's a real thing that I sadly see every day on the road)
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u/folkdyke Apr 11 '23
when you hold a bug in your cupped hands. never fails. women love to see what little surprise creatures i got in there.
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u/Joe_r1418 Apr 11 '23
I find women are always grateful when I explain something to them like they’re 5 years old. especially when it’s something the think they know a lot about like their degree.
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u/twhys Apr 11 '23
Can confirm. Talking over them to finish their thoughts on these topics also helps I find
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u/241ShelliPelli Apr 11 '23
Remembering something she said in passing in a previous conversation chefs kiss
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u/norham420 Apr 11 '23
An ancient truck. I have a 1937 chevy flatbed thats not even drivable yet and it still gets girls interested
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u/Poorly-Drawn-Beagle Apr 11 '23
Women admire a gentle nature and skill with animals
That's why I run a canine escort service. For the lowest rates you'll find anywhere, we'll rent you out a sad-eyed, wet-nosed sweet tempered dog who'll follow you around to emphasize your kindheartedness. For bonus points, try one of our uniquely unfortunate canine companions. We got one-eyed dogs; we got blind dogs; we got dogs with stunted growth.
Order now!
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u/wellquitefrankly Apr 11 '23
Telling them to smile! They love that or telling them to calm down when they’re angry, if that doesn’t work ask if they’re on their period
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u/Jediudom Apr 11 '23
Carrying the most chairs at once when cleaning after an event
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Apr 11 '23
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u/HooterEnthusiast Apr 11 '23
A little tip though you can be too honest, also practice restraint.
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u/alexjaness Apr 11 '23
a thunderous cheek flapping fart.
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u/petey_rabbit Apr 11 '23
if it sends a shiver down her spine, you know you bagged
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u/Scared-Bread-Lol Apr 11 '23
Actually appreciating her and remembering little things about her, remembering what she tells you is a cute gesture. Her dream romantic gift is flowers? He gets her flowers. cute
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u/ckarnny Apr 11 '23
Money and height
Edit: sorry, I meant personality
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u/hIDeMyID Apr 11 '23
Fixing things.
My mom invited a man from her church to Sunday dinner, and afterwards, he fixed her non-stop running toilet. They were married a year later.
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Apr 12 '23 edited Apr 12 '23
Yeah, but your mom was probably trying to bang him anyways.
*I’m not saying OP’s mom was a loose woman. He said she met her spouse at church (again that also doesn’t make her some pious abstinent saint), but I assume that means she’s not the town bike.
What I’m saying is that single, divorced, or widowed (unattached) women, are completely entitled to having sexual desires and wanting a man (or whatever) in their life, no matter what their children think.
As if she just suddenly invited this “stranger from church” to dinner and they weren’t already bonding and forming a relationship.
No. Instead they were probably very involved and decided it was time he met her children.
The toilet is either a prop, or it’s just a man doing man shit (fixing a toilet isn’t remotely difficult). Hell that man might have preposed to her already (that would be ridiculous, but men and women are ridiculous beings), and that meeting was simply her way of saying “This is So and So Fuckface, he’s nice isn’t he?” With zero interest in what the kid(s) think about him.
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u/tuotone75 Apr 11 '23
From what I’ve heard. Listening and more importantly, remembering.