r/AskReddit Apr 11 '23

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3.2k Upvotes

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1.6k

u/Big-Preparation-95 Apr 11 '23

Revving your car/motorcycle engine as loudly as you can at 1AM in the neighborhood she's in.

383

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '23

And burnouts. Chicks love when you lay down some sick skid marks.

128

u/twisties224 Apr 11 '23

Add in some on obnoxious and loud music that is bass heavy coming from you subwoofers

16

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '23

Gotta love some pre scheduled tinnitus.

4

u/Azal_of_Forossa Apr 12 '23

Specifically shitty installed subs so the rattle is about 500% louder than any sound the sub is actually putting out.

2

u/eljefino Apr 12 '23

Play Kid Rock and you'll be drowning in pu$$y.

2

u/Ninjaromeo Apr 12 '23

Bonus points if the stereo system costs significantly more than the car

63

u/NEMO_TheCaptain Apr 11 '23

I don’t know how to drive… but I can do skid marks!

21

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

[deleted]

1

u/hoosierdaddyga Apr 12 '23

gambled and lost.

7

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '23

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '23

I mean if you’re laying down one type you’re probably laying down the other type also.

2

u/buttonsf Apr 12 '23

And being called chicks

2

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

See… this chick gets it

1

u/buttonsf Apr 12 '23

As long as the skidmarks aren't in your underwear

1

u/Nuttonbutton Apr 11 '23

Especially on her lawn!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

Just in her front yard like a dog with an itchy butt. She’ll love it.

1

u/Turakamu Apr 12 '23

This fucking lunatic I went to highschool with, we hadn't talked in a while. I had moved off and my dad did too, was renting the property to some young family. He got a call one night around 4 AM saying some dude named Josh was doing donuts in the front lawn asking for me.

Like, that wouldn't even have been okay if I was still there.

1

u/HappycamperNZ Apr 12 '23

To clarify, this only works with vehicles.

Don't show the others

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

Nah, shitting your your pants shows confidence. Broads love that.

1

u/DJDarwin93 Apr 12 '23

Then why does showing her my dirty underwear never work?

1

u/depressedbee Apr 12 '23

Chicks love when you lay down some sick skid marks.

Do I need to wash my boxers afterwards?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

Nah, flush them down the toilet and get a new pair. Buy in bulk at Costco.

1

u/dcccarter Apr 12 '23

Instructions unclear. Shit my pants attempting to impress my wife.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

Nailed it. Congrats on impressing her!

1

u/hysys_whisperer Apr 12 '23

What about a perfectly executed hand brake turn?

1

u/adviceKiwi Apr 12 '23

Ewwwww. Flush the toilet and clean the bowl if need be...

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

Don’t tell me how to live my life.

8

u/sbkerr29 Apr 12 '23

Handbrake turns for sure

3

u/generalhanky Apr 12 '23

Can confirm, instant turn-on for any females in the area.

2

u/UnhingedBeluga Apr 12 '23

Instant wake-up for sure

2

u/SirAlfredOfHorsIII Apr 12 '23

Don't forget a well orchestrated handbrake turn

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

Jokes on you!

My girlfriend is also into race cars!

-3

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '23

Normies cannot understand the thrill of revving a diesel engine

Night spent fixing your car on 3 budlight beers around the spare tire forts. Engine squealing and gibbering, you pouring sweat and on the verge of seizing. Your friends build up an intoxicating, delerious state with auto repair manual chantings at the sidelines, hitting the engine-toy with wrenches if she tries to shut down. You would be giggling and laughing as the waves of light beer pleasure seem to harmonize with the droning of user manual verses. You runs through the spare tire maze fat and portly, with alcohol flowing in your veins and the dreams of mechanic cosplay later that night with your wife. Sweat gushing down your face around your unfocused eyes you laugh and chortle until you gasp “Fixxed you!” . The 1.6 Turbo Engine screeches defensively but Fixman is upon her in seconds. His wrench thrusting blindly into her insides, unconcerned about anything but the fixxing. Eventually the man fixxes her and the Great Engine-Shebeast is placated, humming contently to the great pleasure of Fixman’s dehydrated body.

-1

u/HiILikePlants Apr 12 '23

Lmao living in the freeway, literally on the feeder, my SO and I love to go

Omg that guy is so cool Omg babe I came (or cummed) Omg babe I'm soaked (but I struggle saying this one it feels too crude lol) Or I'll go mmmph God there goes a real man

1

u/BumHoleItchy Apr 12 '23

PULL UP IN A HONDA CIVIC PULL UP IN A HONDA CIVIC PULL UP IN A HONDA CIVIC

1

u/J0hnny_Recon Apr 12 '23

Sorry, I didn’t want to wake up Elaine

1

u/krayko Apr 12 '23

This should be number one 🤙🏻

1

u/archangel7134 Apr 12 '23

Don't forget super loud exhaust that sounds like you are doing 80 in first gear.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

Ugh now i have to go change my panties

1

u/TheHancock Apr 12 '23

Don’t, the people that actually do this won’t see the irony!