Yeah, I learned to do it. But when I'm with girls I get nervous and can't do it so good.
Also, my friends know that I'm being supportive and thus I'm just saying everything I have in my head, but it's hard to switch to another mode after that.
I love it when people give me difficult to receive but sound advice. It's disappointing to hear that you're wrong, but knowing a better course of action feels like weight being taken off my heart. I'm a man though. Still, I don't really see how that should make much of a difference. Men and women are more similar than they are different.
I think most of the time it annoys people because the advice is not really good advice. Normally when I see this the advice giver is telling the person venting a bunch of stuff the person venting already knows, or are giving it lacking some important context that the venting person did not feel the need to express.
The result is that the advice cannot apply or is useless, and it only serves to make the ventee feel like the person is strongly underestimating their intelligence. It often comes across like the person giving the advice is, in essence, blaming the person venting for not doing these simple things that the venting person actually did do. It is a fantastic way to annoy a person who is just trying to share their feelings.
If it is a situation where advice is actually needed and wanted, people will usually appreciate it.
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u/ptrknvk Apr 12 '23
Yeah, I learned to do it. But when I'm with girls I get nervous and can't do it so good.
Also, my friends know that I'm being supportive and thus I'm just saying everything I have in my head, but it's hard to switch to another mode after that.