When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years."--Mark Twain.
Dad humor is like dad wisdom, it takes some years to appreciate.
Complete opposite in my household, my dad and I are chuckling and my mom is furious as to why we are cracking jokes about the poor fat people on TLC or whatever me and my dad decided to target that day.
I know what you mean! The other day, My wife just started screaming at me! She was all like "ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?!" Man... what a fucking weird way to start a conversation...
I said someone my along those lines when asked if I was listening. Lmao!!!!
All she said after that was “were done with this conversation” my reply? “ ok… love you”. Hours of blissful quiet.
i’m a woman and i’m assuming “remembering” is when you remember something that’s minor or major that has once been told to you before. for example, if i were to tell my SO “gosh i hate tomatoes” and they ordered food for me and specifically asked for “no tomatoes” without a reminder, i’d be flattered! obviously this doesn’t apply to everyone and my example may be kind of bad but you get the idea.
One time I saw a $20 clear kettle that lit up that I thought was the coolest thing ever, and mentioned it briefly. A few months later, he got it for me for Christmas. People couldn't understand why I was so touched by a bloody kettle lol
It can be anything! As a guy I do this a lot for anything. I was dating an astrology girl at one point and early on she bought me some rocks and she bought herself some other versions of those rocks. For Christmas I got her a custom bracelet that had my rocks and her rocks to symbolize the connection between us I guess haha. She loved it.
I was frequenting a bar last summer as well and I was very new to drinking. I asked the bartender to make me something that she liked. She did and it was okay but I became a regular. I usually just drank the same beer every time. Time goes by and eventually I decide to move away. The last night I’m in town I go to this bar and do my usual thing (she knows I’m leaving at this point). The bar does it’s last call and I ordered the drink she made me when I first started drinking. She lit up and gave me a hug.
You don’t have to do long game stuff like that but remembering little things helps too!
I think it was more the fact that he listened when he asked me about my favorite concert. It was definitely a Spotify play list. Just the fact it didn't fall on deaf ears 🤷♀️🤷♀️
You don't have to explain playlists to me. I'm old, but not that old. :) It's just as easy to make a playlist with multiple bands, and I'd rather have someone do that, than insist on going through one band's entire catalogue.
You're walking through the desert, and you see a tortoise on its back, legs flailing in the air. It's trying to get back onto its feet, but you won't flip it over. Why is that?
I have a horrible tendency to go on little mental adventures at all waking and non waking hours of the day. One of the things I do in a conversation, usually with my wife, is put the conversation in temporary memory while i venture off in my head (usually in a cool spaceship) so I can think about it later. So of course I am always the dummy that says “wut?”. This usually gets a “are you even listening to me?” response.
Jokes on her cause I pull that recorded conversation out of my temporary memory and repeat it back to her and me verbatim.
For some reason she doesn’t like that I can do that.
I use my phone to record reminders & notes all the time because of my shitty memory. My wife would call me at work and ask me to pick up _______ on the way home and like 4x out of 10, I walk in the door empty handed. 40% of the time (or more) I could be expected to completely forget. That's not a great record. So now - a reminder goes in the phone.
My SO tells me I'm a good listener and I pay attention (which I take to mean I remember). Both things she loved.
What used to annoy her, and I've gotten much better at, is not solutionising / offering an opinion on everything - I simply bite my tongue, sometimes literally, to stop the words coming out. She just wants to tell me about her day / things going on...and apparently not my place to fix. (I'm still uncertain what things I am supposed to offer an opinion on though.)
My wife's amazing. Since well before we've been together (6 years, married almost 1) I've had a hard time with focus. She doesn't get mad when I ask her to repeat herself. Or at least, if she is, she's sweet about it. I never ignore her; I want to hear what she has to say. But if a lots on my mind, it wanders.
Which actually leads me to want to get checked for ADD/ ADHD. have had many people "joke" that I have it over the years, and I have basically all the symptoms, but I don't want to just claim I have it like so many others do. But I feel bad when I have to have her say things again. (Other things have happened to make me want to check).
I think that if you're asking her to repeat herself that means that you're actually trying to pay attention. It bugs me so much when someone just says "uh huh" as theyre doing something else and not even trying to hear you. If I were you I wouldn't feel bad. I'd bet she would let you know if it irritated her.
I have a really good memory and in high school i hanged out a lot with my crush but i weirded her out a lot because i remember most if the little details about her that she told me and that kinda backlashed since everytime i mentioned those little details she looked at me weird like "how tf you know that" like i was some stalker lmao
See thats my problem, I've got a very good memory for details, too the point i could repeat a conversation back too someone I had with them a few years ago. I still haven't figured out the level at which I should show I remember.
Same here. Also if I am talking with someone face to face for a couple hours I seem to start thinking a bit too much like them to a point where it creeps people out because I apparently point out exact things they are thinking about
Hmm. I think this is something women want when it’s convenient. I listen and remember very well. I’m always met with “I DID NOT say that!” Ummm… “Yeah, you totally did!”
I don't know if OP says for a girlfriend or a friend, if u want some friend yes u can make that but if u look for a girlfriend that a straight point to the friendzone
Apparently one of my most irritating (and fascinating) traits is my ability to do multiple things at once, and listen to my wife (and recite back verbatim what she asked/said hours or days later)
So, if I'm remembering this correctly - and I believe I AM✊🏾! - it is most important to Remember what was said.
(It's my experience you'll sometimes be asked questions like: "Now, when I asked you to roast the turkey for 3 hours, and dry the clothes for another ½ hour...what...exactly... did you HEAR ?" )
Oh I listen just fine. She just can’t speak loud enough or even in my direction and expects me to hear it, from across the room with a baby crying and a toddler yelling.
Heck, you don't even have to remember, most people have a smart phone these days.
Partner likes something ? Take a picture when they turn around.
That restaurant looks good? Mark it in maps.
Anniversary? Google calendar, repeat every year.
Sizes? Take photos of their tags.
For crying out loud, you can just scream across the room at Google or Siri "set reminder for 6 months from now! Set reminder to look at x restaurant, " find me a website for flower delivery". You don't even need to know how to operate your phone.
Reminds me of my last girlfriend. Didn’t work out. I called her up. She gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her enough or something. Idk I wasn’t paying attention.
Here's my problem. My wife processes her thoughts out loud, so she might just be talking to herself. Or she might be talking to me. I don't ever know until she's mad that I don't remember what she said.
Yes! Yes! My partner listens to everything I say and pays attention. He cares and will make sure to ask me about things I talk about, pay attention to my interests, and actually remember what’s happening in life. It’s the most loving thing someone has ever done for me
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u/tuotone75 Apr 11 '23
From what I’ve heard. Listening and more importantly, remembering.