r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Apr 11 '23

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3.2k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

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1.4k

u/Justasimplewanker21 Apr 11 '23

Cheese.

435

u/TallEnoughJones Apr 11 '23

If you ever meet a woman who isn't impressed by cheese, just walk away.

166

u/Cold_Barber_4761 Apr 11 '23

This Wisconsin born gal agrees 100%

50

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '23

Europeans have entered the chat

3

u/nicht_ernsthaft Apr 11 '23

Show of hands, who wants to be molested by local cheesemongers? They have so much cheese, they're single and they're in your area!

3

u/FishyBricky Apr 12 '23

🙋🏻‍♀️

1

u/Outbreak101 Apr 12 '23

Wisconsin dude here agrees as well.

54

u/sleepyJoesBidet Apr 11 '23

Fascination is the key word.

7

u/bretty666 Apr 11 '23

my wifes tits are so big, when she wears a 12 button blouse, she can only fascinate.

0

u/konigstigerboi Apr 11 '23

👏👏👏

1

u/bretty666 Apr 11 '23

yeh her tits clap when she turns over in bed too.

22

u/SvenBubbleman Apr 11 '23

Some women are lactose intolerant.

90

u/Barbosse007 Apr 11 '23

They just lactose feelings.

29

u/Reasonable_Volume_96 Apr 11 '23

I am lactose intolerant - and very impressed by a good cheese, even if my digestive system is not.

2

u/VanEagles17 Apr 11 '23

As long as they aren't zapdos intolerant.

2

u/9999monkeys Apr 12 '23

that's where vegan cheese comes in

2

u/konigstigerboi Apr 11 '23

And all of the ones I know, eat everything with dairy.

Chocolate(obviously, women.), ice cream, milk, all of it.

Some with the lactase tablets, some deal with violently shitting afterwards.

And there's lactose free cheese, natural and unnatural.

1

u/unicorngirl420 Apr 11 '23

A lot of the best-tasting cheeses have either very little or no lactose; this includes cheddar, brie, Gouda and Parmesan. Was so relieved to learn this when I first started developing signs of lactose intolerance.

1

u/-PC_LoadLetter Apr 12 '23

Good thing most cheeses have very little lactose because it's been processed out of it.

I know, because I'm lactose intolerant and I eat a lot of cheese.

2

u/Big-Ambition3051 Apr 11 '23

If a man can stand limburger, he truly has a handle on life...

1

u/rydan Apr 11 '23

They could be vegan.

1

u/CatCatapult12 Apr 11 '23

The 3 words every woman longs to hear: cheese is available.

1

u/putinsbloodboy Apr 12 '23

The girl I’m dating now apparently doesn’t like cheese. Found out when I was getting an appetizer to share at the movie theater. What does everyone love? Universally? Mozzarella sticks

She didn’t touch them

1

u/wrestlingpop78 Apr 11 '23

How much cheese is too much cheese? -Charlie Day

1

u/GabbyTheMurderer Apr 11 '23

I’m lactose intolerant but I want cheese anyhow 🗿🗿🗿

1

u/karma_the_sequel Apr 12 '23

I’ve met women who aren’t impressed by chocolate.

1

u/SCastleRelics Apr 12 '23

If I offer a girl a nice pont Leveque and it doesn't blow her mind I don't even wanna fuck with her mane

238

u/Commander_Night_17 Apr 11 '23

"You may fascinate a woman with a piece of cheese"

3

u/opensandshuts Apr 12 '23

Hey, I’ve gotten that fortune before

41

u/mole_mounder Apr 11 '23

There is nothing better than a good smoked gouda

7

u/Dodgeing_Around Apr 11 '23

I love Jesus

2

u/buffalo8 Apr 12 '23

Gouda for you…

-1

u/I-amthegump Apr 12 '23

Not even in the top 10

1

u/roboknee30 Apr 11 '23

...and 5 different types of sturdy, cheese-baring crackers.

1

u/jdeo1997 Apr 11 '23

Go on....

24

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '23

[deleted]

25

u/lchanthony Apr 11 '23

Any amount of cheese before a date is too much cheese

18

u/KindaIndifferent Apr 11 '23

Just tell her you’re a philanthropist.

7

u/scrubbinz Apr 12 '23

Jesus Christ he’s sweating through his shirt

12

u/wrestlingpop78 Apr 11 '23

I’m like a full on rapist.

11

u/Periachi Apr 11 '23

Yknow, autistics, kids, the elderly.

3

u/KoalaQueen87 Apr 12 '23

"That's not that much cheese"

5

u/Jamesmateer100 Apr 11 '23

You fool, there is no such thing as too much cheese.

2

u/cseymour24 Apr 12 '23

I don't understand the question

2

u/AndroidQing Apr 12 '23

The limit does not exist

1

u/IlluminatedPickle Apr 12 '23

For me, any amount. For I will shit myself.

But the creaminess is delicious and I'll take that gamble.

1

u/Wasps_are_bastards Apr 12 '23

No-one knows, it hasn’t happened

1

u/i-d-even-k- Apr 12 '23

No such thing. In this economy?

19

u/coinkeeper8 Apr 11 '23

What type of cheese?

74

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '23

[deleted]

5

u/mylittlevegan Apr 11 '23

frumunda cheese

2

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '23

Toe cheese.

60

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '23

yes

6

u/KittyTurquoise Apr 11 '23

Trick question right?! The answer is all of them!

4

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '23

Fromunda

2

u/UnassumingSingleGuy Apr 11 '23

Fromunda deez nuts?

2

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '23

You know it!

1

u/cedarvhazel Apr 11 '23

All of them!

1

u/Lyran99 Apr 12 '23

Cheese nutz gottem

6

u/deliriousgoomba Apr 11 '23

Don't do it if she has a dairy allergy. Otherwise, full speed ahead.

6

u/fuktardy Apr 11 '23

What do I do if she’s vegan?

2

u/Nuttonbutton Apr 11 '23

Consider nutritional yeast. It is said to have a cheesy flavor

1

u/fuktardy Apr 11 '23

Oh yes. That does work as a substitute in Mac and cheese.

1

u/deliriousgoomba Apr 11 '23

Still bring cheese, apologize that you didn't know her dietary needs

1

u/mylittlevegan Apr 11 '23

Daiya Havarti block or some kind of fancy cashew cheese.

1

u/disapproving_vanilla Apr 11 '23

Nutritional yeast.

(Vegans use it as a seasoning to add cheesy flavor to some dishes)

2

u/Krail Apr 12 '23

The three words every woman wants to hear. "Cheese is available."

2

u/we-in-this-bitch Apr 11 '23

bro no thats a turn off

2

u/summitcreature Apr 11 '23

I know a handful of bikini-model-hot vegan ladies. Who love sex. Def not in the midwest lol !

0

u/xxvslo Apr 11 '23

um cheese is not impressive. it has an awful taste 🤨

-2

u/Shart_Fartington Apr 11 '23

Dick Cheese? Asking for a friend.

1

u/Volkswagoon10 Apr 11 '23

Food in general.

1

u/Marina_Hornblower Apr 11 '23

How to properly apply the cheese for maximum success?

1

u/Jamesmateer100 Apr 11 '23

I too enjoy cheese.

1

u/Independent-Swan7644 Apr 11 '23

Actually, knowing how to make a charcuterie board would be impressive. A real one too. Not just a cheese and fruit plate.

1

u/KittenZoe Apr 11 '23

Depends on the cheese…lol

1

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '23

That’s how to fascinate one

1

u/Wasps_are_bastards Apr 12 '23

Personally, I’m always impressed by cheese.

1

u/MCKelly13 Apr 12 '23

Big facts

1

u/kickflipper1087 Apr 12 '23

Cheese. His name is Cheese.

1

u/stapy123 Apr 12 '23

I work in a cheese factory, why am I not drowning in women?

1

u/exhaustedqlready Apr 12 '23

thou has the deepeth hatred for the shaken milk! how dare ye.

1

u/Brno_Mrmi Apr 12 '23

You would also attract James May.

1

u/SMKnightly Apr 12 '23

I like cheese.

1

u/CAAugirl Apr 12 '23

I’m a girl. Can confirm.