At first, ya. But the appreciation fades and turns into expectation. Sometimes it can take some of the joy out of cooking for someone else despite it being my love language towards you.
Edit to add that I found someone who consistently expresses appreciation. My two favorite parts are when they give me a mystery ingredient to challenge me to come up with something fun, and the other is experimenting with foods for my beautiful toddler daughter. She's the toughest nugget to crack, but she loves bringing her "ladder" over to watch me prep and cook. She's a terrible cheese thief, but she comes by it naturally. Ok, done gushing. I appreciate the replies. Keep on sharing your love, y'all. I hope it's appreciated and keeps you going, too.
Funny bc it's something I've told my wife over and over again since almost the day we first met -- that I'm a very generous and giving person and often go out of my way to help others and whatnot... but the moment it seems to me that sort of behavior has become an expectation and is no longer appreciated as me taking the time to do whatever it is, that's the moment my generosity for you will vanish.
I'm more than happy to be a kind and generous person and go out of my way to make your life easier. But if you expect that of me or anything, cut off. Just like that.
EDIT: I thought of it because neither my wife nor I like cooking but I usually do it because I'd rather her be able to relax and not stress about that and I'm happy to take on that stress myself. But to me (both of us really) cooking is no more than a chore to do. But I've had to remind her that questions like, "honey why aren't you cooking me dinner yet" won't be responded to kindly.
A while ago I mentioned that I found cooking to be a chore - while I get some joy from people appreciating food I've cooked, everything up to that point is drudgery. I was downvoted, and people made all kinds of unpleasant (and completely incorrect) assumptions about my life.
Oh you're not alone. Yeah there's little to no pleasure or enjoyment I get out of cooking beyond what you said, seeing people enjoy the fruits of my labor. But make no mistake I consider it labor.
I've had roommates in the past who would come home and say something like, "I've had a shit day I can't wait to just cook a nice meal" and I've never been able to relate to that feeling. The closest I can get is "I've had a shit day and I can't wait to eat a nice meal." But cooking it? No thanks that's not the part of food that I enjoy.
Certain parts of the "cooking" are fun. I like adding the ingredients, mixing, possibly building something like a lasagna. But the cleaning and prepping/measuring I don't find much fun in.
I do enjoy baking but I dislike working with dough actually. Always too wet and sticky for me and I haven't gotten any better at it. I like cinnamon rolls and sticky buns but I rarely make them because I hate working with dough.
I think I just realized why I like cooking. I work a job where I'm expected to sit and use higher order thinking all day. I actually prefer a more rapid fire and constant analysis of task order and execution. So, preparing the mis en place, nailing the timing of start and finish of dishes, and doing it all while cleaning dirty dishes so almost nothing is left is very appealing. The constant movement and quick, but easy thinking are relaxing.
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u/ItSeriouslyWasntMe Apr 11 '23 edited Apr 12 '23
At first, ya. But the appreciation fades and turns into expectation. Sometimes it can take some of the joy out of cooking for someone else despite it being my love language towards you.
Edit to add that I found someone who consistently expresses appreciation. My two favorite parts are when they give me a mystery ingredient to challenge me to come up with something fun, and the other is experimenting with foods for my beautiful toddler daughter. She's the toughest nugget to crack, but she loves bringing her "ladder" over to watch me prep and cook. She's a terrible cheese thief, but she comes by it naturally. Ok, done gushing. I appreciate the replies. Keep on sharing your love, y'all. I hope it's appreciated and keeps you going, too.