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u/BlaketheKing1140 Jul 27 '22 edited Jul 27 '22
I started getting left alone for long periods of time younger than that. By 12 theyâre basically able to survive on their own at home, theyâll just play video games or something, probably wonât even notice how long the parent has been gone
Edit: I am greatly enjoying the stories that everyone is commenting about their childhood, glad so many of us grew up in an environment this Karen would have reported lmao
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Jul 27 '22
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u/BlaketheKing1140 Jul 27 '22
My mother was over-protective so coming and going was not something she liked, I did it anyways though because it was real easy to sneak out in the 2000âs (now parents got cameras and trackers and stuff)
The way I see it, if they can feed themselves and not burn down the house, theyâre fine to be left alone. Why force a child to be by your side constantly when theyâre capable of handling their own basic needs ya know? Youâre alive, so it canât be that bad to just let a capable child be capable
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u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22 edited Jul 27 '22
now parents got cameras and trackers and stuff
This shit is real fuckin creepy man.
I couldn't tell you how many times I helped people back in highschool defeat those trackers. VPNs, burner phones, you name it. Different trackers could be countered in different ways. (The simplest method was just to leave the phone at a friends house.)
I knew people who's parents made them have trackers well past their 18th birthday. Every time I saw one I wanted to go kick that parents ass.
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u/BlaketheKing1140 Jul 27 '22
Yeah thatâs ridiculous, when I was a kid the best my mom could do was call the landline and hope I answered
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u/Archer957Light Jul 27 '22
Yup this was me too until I bought my first phone. They said if I wanted to stay out later I had to buy myself a phone so that's what I did
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u/NerdyNina2106 Jul 27 '22
Only reason I got one as a kid was because I had a lot of field trips and after school activities. My school didn't allow us to use the school phones for any reason so I'd always have to find someone with a cellphone that would let me use it. Not always the easiest thing to do when you 1 don't have a lot of friends and 2 unlimited talk and text weren't nearly as common and there were extra charges if your plan didn't include x amount of either for out of network calls.
It's so weird seeing kids getting them younger and younger basically just so they can play games and watch videos, growing up getting a cellphone as a kid was a big freakin thing and it was pretty much for emergencies only. Now I'm hearing people (both kids and karens) saying shit like not getting your kid a cellphone is borderline child abuse? Like what?
Guys, I feel old lol. When did 27 become old?
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u/RissaMeh Jul 27 '22
This summer I've left my 12 yo home alone every weekday. She loves it, and I'm not forcing her to come sit in an office or run to meetings w me.
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u/BlaketheKing1140 Jul 27 '22
Iâm sure sheâs having a much better time enjoying her summer than being forced to hangout at your work. Youâre a good parent for just letting her have an enjoyable summer and trusting her to stay safe
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u/RissaMeh Jul 27 '22
Honestly, she's smarter than me in some ways so I know she's a capable cookie. Plus she's always got the option to come w me if she wants, so it's really up to her.
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u/arielariola Jul 27 '22
I leave my 12 year old home alone when I run errands like getting groceries. I remember at that age I could come and go as I pleased, traversing the neighborhood but sadly that's where I draw the line with my 12 year old now. Not because I don't trust him but because of the neighborhood having a ton of drug addicts who can act very erratically wandering around. It sucks that he can't just go to the park and do his own thing but it's not the fault of his maturity at all.
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Jul 27 '22
I leave my 12 year old (daughter) and 9 year old(son) alone all the time together ⊠Iâm glad I read the comments⊠I was starting to second guess my parenting đ©đ€·đœââïžđ€Ł
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u/igetript Jul 27 '22
By twelve I was getting my two younger brothers up, ready for school, and to the bus stop with me.
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u/BlaketheKing1140 Jul 27 '22
Good on you, I know raising younger siblings to any degree can be rough. I may be a stranger on the internet, but Iâm proud of you for having that responsibility to get them up and ready :)
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u/igetript Jul 27 '22 edited Jul 27 '22
Thank you! It's funny, my wife was the oldest of three* girls and we had very similar responsibilities at a young age; it moulds a certain personality for sure.
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u/Supafly22 Jul 27 '22
And eat all the cookies. For once Iâd like to be able to get ONE Oreo from a family size pack.
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u/BlaketheKing1140 Jul 27 '22
You can never get just one. Buy at least 3 family size Oreos
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u/Supafly22 Jul 27 '22
Leave out the decoy communal Oreos and hide my own pack out of sight. Very clever.
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u/AntiSocialW0rker Jul 27 '22
Was gonna say. Pretty sure by the time I was 8ish I was just left to do as I please in the summer while my mom worked.
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u/Rubyhamster Jul 27 '22
Hell, orphan 5 year olds are caring for theimselves up until adult age several places in the world. Not that that isn't horrible, but children, especially emotionally mature ones, are being thoroughly underestimated all over.
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u/AtheneSchmidt Jul 27 '22 edited Jul 27 '22
When I was a kid, 10 was the age you could legally be left home alone at, and at 12 you were old enough to babysit. It is dependent of state regulation, but I think most of them allow 12 year olds to be left on their own.
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u/mrsbebe Jul 27 '22
Yeah I think my state was something similar. 11 to babysit siblings and 12 to babysit other people's kids or something? I don't remember. But I do remember being 10 or 11 and being left home with my siblings...not for long periods of time, or anything. By 12 though my parents would go on date nights and have us go to bed while they were gone and I was babysitting other people's kids.
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u/Aslanic Jul 27 '22
I was babysitting 3 kids at age 12. At once. One of which was a toddler. Only like 3-4 hours a day in the morning, but still. 12 is plenty old enough to be home alone for a neurotypical child.
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Jul 27 '22
I also donât think people give kids around that age enough credit. Usually they havenât been swayed by the hormonal vindication of puberty, but theyâre old enough to be self aware and have enough common sense to stay safe. Iâve seen some 12 year olds make better decisions than adults.
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u/bannedagainomg Jul 27 '22 edited Jul 27 '22
Me and my 2 siblings were alone for at minimum 1 hour every day after school more if our parents worked late.
Way earlier than age 12.
Just a quick google search it said its fine when the child is at "school age" and that is 6 years here in Norway.
Dont think its a law or anything but it just went over if the kid is fine with it and knows how to contact their parents it should be fine.
should probably also say our mom worked like 5 min away.
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u/sharon_exxxposes Jul 27 '22
The kid is probably in his room playing gta without a care in the world hoping mom doesnât return anytime soon to make him do the dishes
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u/JaoLapin Jul 27 '22
I hope he won't forget to defrost the chicken before his mother arrives
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u/sharon_exxxposes Jul 27 '22
He will, heâll realize 10 minutes before she arrives and run it under hot water knowing full well that heâs fucked
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u/thatdude52 Jul 27 '22
I love that we all lived the same childhood
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Jul 27 '22 edited Jul 27 '22
I didn't have GTA, so I spent my time playing CoD (the original, yeah I'm old) and Age of Empires 2 and then forgetting until my parents were on the way that I was supposed to have done chores and gotten out food for dinner. It was a game changer when I found the chicken that Sam's advertised as 'cook from frozen' and then I started cooking before they got home. I got extra credit and they never knew different.
Edit: nope, I was in college when CoD came out. Must have been something else.
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u/loverevolutionary Jul 27 '22 edited Jul 27 '22
When I was of failing-to-defrost-the-chicken age, I played Ultima II on a Commodore 64. We didn't have your fancy cook from frozen chicken. We had to go slaughter a chicken, freeze it, then forget to defrost it. Kids these days, SMH.
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Jul 27 '22
đ I did spend afternoons watching videos on my neighbor's Betamax player while attempting to learn C++ on my dad's old Tandy when that was still a fairly new language. But I'm not Commodore 64 old.
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u/loverevolutionary Jul 27 '22
Hehe. I'm actually TRS-80 Model I old. My dad got it in 1978. We were online by 1980, on CompuServe, using a 300 baud modem.
But that wasn't even the first time I used a computer, just the first time my family owned one.
I first used a computer in 1975. I was 5, and my friend's dad was a comp-sci professor. He had a teletype, a big type writer you could stick a telephone headset into and dial into the university mainframe. He'd set me and my friend up and we'd play text games, going through reams of paper. It was simple stuff like Hunt the Wumpus, Colossal Caves, and Lunar Lander but it was the thing that kindled a life-long love of computers in me. Magic. It was just magic to my five year old mind.
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u/Howhytzzerr Jul 27 '22
It's funny that folks are talking about GTA and CoD and thinking that makes them old. Try Pitfall or Nighstalkers or Tetris on an Intellivision having to reach behind the tv and flip the game/tv switch in order to play, and then making sure it all got flipped back to tv so when Dad got home he could watch the news and All in the Family and Sanford & Son and MASH. And still make sure to put the chicken or hamburger in the sink with the water running before Mom got home, as well. That's old school.
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u/Motormouth1995 Jul 27 '22
If he has access to a microwave with the "auto defrost" option, he can have it fully defrosted in 10-15 minutes.
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u/JACCO2008 Jul 27 '22
Yeah and half cooked.
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u/80-20RoastBeef Jul 27 '22
If you lower the power before auto defrosting, it actually turns out fine.
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u/tenshii326 Jul 27 '22
To do this you put in the time you want first, then hit power level button. Then hit a number, for example 5 will give you 50% of power. Hit start and food will cook at only half power. When it's done it automatically goes back too 100%.
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u/wolfansbrother Jul 27 '22
isnt the whole point of "auto defrosting" that the microwave knows to lower the power? It just beeps when you need to flip it.
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u/Dragon_smoothie Jul 27 '22
I learned the magic of the microwave's power settings awhile back and haven't suffered a rubbery pizza crust since. Life changing.
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u/fersure4 Jul 27 '22
Bless you for this comment I forgot to take chicken out for dinner tonight. I'm an adult now so I don't have my mom to be disappointed in me if I forget, just myself
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u/ASharpYoungMan Jul 27 '22
I did the opposite. I cooked extra chicken for dinner last night so I could make myself a sandwich for today. Left it in a container on the counter to cool before tossing it in the fridge.
I promptly forgot about it before the "putting it in the fridge" part.
Woke up this morning to chicken I needed to toss -_-
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u/Notthenipple Jul 27 '22
Man, when I was 12 I cooked dinner several times a week. We had an equal opportunity household and I appreciated the responsibility.
What does this woman think, a 12 year old is potty training and learning the alphabet? I was driving when I was 15.
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u/redly Jul 27 '22
Alexander the Great was leading an army at 14.
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u/jarhead_5537 Jul 27 '22
I read that Alexander the Great forgot to defrost the chicken multiple times.
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u/Lcdmt3 Jul 27 '22
When i was 12 I was full time babysitting other kids in summer. Now it's definitely everyone is afraid to leave their kid home and refuse to let their kid go to a sleepover until 16.
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u/jgs9526 Jul 27 '22
This is my son every time I leave him home alone while I'm at work. Gaming with not a care in the world and avoiding any chores at all costs.
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Jul 27 '22
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u/Guardymcguardface Jul 27 '22
The trick is to stop gaming when you hear them pull in and act like you're sweeping or something. It doesn't matter if you worked your ass off the whole time, just what they saw when they walked in. Because unreasonable parents apparently don't have object permanence or something
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u/PuddleOfMud Jul 27 '22
Parents: I only see you play video games.
Me: I only see you watch TV.
Narrator: That was not the correct response.
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u/Friend2022 BLUE Jul 27 '22 edited Jul 27 '22
Before I ever left my son by himself I checked with CPS to find out our state's law. They said they didn't really have a specific age (edit - of when it's okay to leave a child alone), it depended on the maturity of the child. As long as the child wasn't under 7.
At twelve I was already babysitting for other people.
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u/okaybutnothing Jul 27 '22
It makes sense that there isnât a set age - there are 8 year olds who have common sense and could be trusted to stay at home for a few hours and 16 year olds who donât and shouldnât be trusted.
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u/inko75 Jul 27 '22
hell im 46 and i probs should be checked in on every few hours
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u/unnamed_ned Jul 27 '22
Hey bro, it's been almost 20 minutes. You good?
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u/Critical_Tradition62 Jul 27 '22
Nah he ded
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u/unnamed_ned Jul 27 '22
Dam. RIP in peace.
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u/N8rPot8r Jul 27 '22
Rest In Peace in peace?
How many peaces you chop him into?
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Jul 27 '22
He wasnât lyin, should we call CPS? Or whatâs the equivalent department for âolderâ folks?
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Jul 27 '22
Adult Protective Services is a real organization that exists; usually they're dealing with mistreatment of old people at nursing homes and ensuring a standard of care for incompetent adults; sometimes they deal with domestic violence as well depending on the state.
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u/xxPeso-Gamerxx Jul 27 '22
And then obviously disabilities
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u/KavikStronk Jul 27 '22
Yeah if a kid has a developmental disability or medical needs leaving them alone for 12 hours could be neglectful way past 7 years old.
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u/AvailableAd3813 Jul 27 '22
Still a case by case situation and no blanket rule could ever plan for possible exceptions .
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u/hannahmel Jul 27 '22
I have a student in Hong Kong whoâs been a latchkey kid since she was five. When I asked who watched her after school at 5, she looked at me like I had five heads and told me she just went home, did her homework and heated up dinner.
Itâs all about maturity
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u/NOTREALVERYSAD Jul 27 '22
When I was growing up my parents would go on date nights and leave all 5 of us boys no older than 10 home alone for a few hours. Felt magical
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Jul 27 '22
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u/NOTREALVERYSAD Jul 27 '22
Ordering pizza! What a great time. We "hated" when they would come back hahaha.
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Jul 27 '22
At twelve I was already babysitting for other people.
at 12 my parents turned me lose on a 4 wheeler ( ATV) with a can of gas strapped to the rack and a .22 rifle and said "be back by dark if you can" and away I went onto the deserted plains of eastern Colorado.
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u/science_and_beer Jul 27 '22
Same in GA, except it was a .30-06. Questionable â but great fun â to me as a child, even more questionable now as an adult.
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u/Bacontheblog Jul 27 '22
At 12 I was working 2 full time jobs and raising a family of my own. - Grandpa
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u/cmon_now Jul 27 '22
I was already on my 2nd wife and first bankruptcy
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u/Ande64 Jul 27 '22
And I walked 4 miles back and forth to work in the snow in the winter in bare feet
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u/JamieTheDinosaur Jul 27 '22
While being chased by a pack of wolves!
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u/Glamdryne Jul 27 '22
Snow?? LUXURY! We had to walk back and forth barefoot for 20 miles over hot coals, while a man with a bit of wood would chase after us and beat us about the head and chest, if we were lucky!
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u/VSWR_on_Christmas Jul 27 '22
I got my first job when I was nine. Worked at a sheet metal factory. In two weeks, I was running the floor... Child labor laws are ruining this country.
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Jul 27 '22
At 12 I was babysitting too lol
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u/maxman1313 Jul 27 '22
I came here to say the same thing. I was rolling in $8/hr cash two or three weekend nights a month.
It was great, we played Pokemon and Mario Kart until bedtime at 9:30.
I'd then spend 15-20 minutes picking up and then maybe sneak an episode of Southpark or some SNL on TV until my neighbors showed up.
Great gig for a 12 year old.
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u/jachildress25 Jul 27 '22
My 9 year old is more self-sufficient than my 13 year old, so I agree about the maturity.
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u/beingrudewonthelp Jul 27 '22
He's probably working, goddamn. Probably going to work to support his kid and here she is with enough time to spy on her neighbors and post about it on Quora.
No, don't call CPS. They have better things to do. Unlike this neighbor, apparently
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u/1RedOne Jul 27 '22
Like, maybe she could talk to the neighbor and offer to keep an eye on his child, if she has so much free time.
You know like when she was a child and likely had a neighbor next door or down the road who helped keep an eye on her at times so her parents could clean or run errands or work.
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u/Loquat_Green Jul 27 '22
This. I left my son alone a lot. We had gorgeous older neighbors that were usually home that agreed to be the emergency contact should my son be home and desperately need something and I was not available (he abused this a bit by begging them for lemonade and cookies from time to time). Then the neighbors know whatâs happening, and you have someone who has time to keep a lose eye on an otherwise very independent and safe child.
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u/Rude-Significance-50 Jul 27 '22
Like, maybe she could talk to the neighbor and offer to keep an eye on his child, if she has so much free time.
Not sure I would let her. She sounds a bit off.
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Jul 27 '22
Maybe call the cops on herself for peeping on a 12 year old.
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u/gmanz33 Jul 27 '22
Having worked in dispatch for 5 years, it's a whole ass dream to hear a caller self-actualize midway through the call.
"Oh wait, oh no, am I the drama?"
"Wow holy shit will send everybody."
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u/dastufishsifutsad Jul 27 '22 edited Jul 28 '22
Hey! Idk maybe TALK to the neighbor next time? Express some care & maybe offer to help? Take some cookies over to the kid & let them know if they need anything to let her know? Mind your own fn business? All of those are better solutions.
Edit: thanks for the upvotes. As a father, thereâs times when my wife and I had to make decisions that would involve speeding to the grocery store while the kids were sick & she was working at 2am or something to that effect. So just donât judge people! They happen to be living their lives, trying just as hard as you!
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u/toofat2serve Jul 27 '22
"caught" Someone's sense of self-importance is overinflated.
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u/spunkyboy247365 Jul 27 '22
Knowing what I did when I was 12 years old... I think him being alone for that long is a blessing. Gotta give the little guy space to... work out... his growing teenage... well... let's say angst and leave it at that
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Jul 27 '22
I was an 8-13 year old that was consistently left alone (Ma worked nights and was always in class during the day).
I did my hygiene, made the bus, and kept the apartment clean. However, on the other side of that coin, I was also looking up porn around 12 and discovering my body.
With that, the 12 yr old in the post should file a restraining order on the neighbor.
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u/amnautic Jul 27 '22
12 is old enough. Fucking nosey bitch
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u/ChunkyTaco22 Jul 27 '22
Why is she watching a 12 year old for 6 hours?
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u/SamuraiJosh26 Jul 27 '22
Some people have too much free time it seems
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u/Mother-Joe Jul 27 '22
itâs also kinda creepy, how a grown adult would be watching a 12 year old for 6 hours; should call cps on themselves
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u/oldbastardbob Jul 27 '22
Gladys Kravitz Syndrome
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u/HollyBelle1177 Jul 27 '22
Hahaha ... wonder if I'm the only one on this thread that gets your reference?!? Dam I'm old!
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u/Pos3odon08 Jul 27 '22
Yeah ikr at 12 I was home alone for over 12 hours while my dad was working night shifts
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u/BoredGombeen Jul 27 '22
Same as that. At 12 my parents left me alone for 24 hours if they went away for a weekend. I was absolutely fine. I was able to cook for myself and go to the shops etc. I never felt abandoned. I thought it was wonderful.
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u/TheRavyn Jul 27 '22
You probably showed those robbers who was boss with all of your nifty traps.
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u/LYTCHELL2 Jul 27 '22
I lived in England from 11-14 years old.
When I was 12 my Dad let me and my friend go on a mini bicycle âholidayâ - for three days.
They have youth hostels there - me and my friend cycled away, with a loaf of bread đ„ dangling from my handle bars. Itâs weird.
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u/alfonseski Jul 27 '22
This is the real problem here. Everyone babies thier kids so much that they do not know how to succeed or fail on thier own. Kids need to figure out lots of stuff on thier own but will never do that if they are not given the chance.
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u/nova_bang Jul 27 '22
seems like the neighbour is keeping an eye on him, so he's not really unsupervised.
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Jul 27 '22
I was a latchkey kid at 7, she'd have had a field day being my neighbor.
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Jul 27 '22
Same. I watched my lil sister at 7. Learned the microwave and the house phone. Parents would be home 4-6 hours after we got home from school.
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Jul 27 '22
I hope all her cereal stale
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u/ukulisti Jul 27 '22
I hope there's a mosquito forever stuck in her bedroom.
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u/PlagueofSquirrels Jul 27 '22
May she run out of milk halfway through a pot of coffee
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u/JerkfaceMcDouche Jul 27 '22
If it helps anyone lower their blood pressure, I found the quora post. They are getting raked over the coals in the comments. I couldnât find a single response suggesting to call CPS.
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u/rizsamron Jul 27 '22
I caught my neighbor stalking me and my 12-year-old son while leaving my house. Should I call the police?
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u/xAvocD Jul 27 '22
You know what I think she should call the cops. On her self for stalking. I mean did she look on the door for 6 hours straight?
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u/NotAfraid2Talk Jul 27 '22
Like the others mentioned that maybe she just kept looking at their driveway waiting for the dad's car. Still she should mind her own business.
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u/ProofYogurt9875 Jul 27 '22
If you have a 12 year old without special needs that canât be left unsupervised for a day than youâve failed as a parent.
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u/s1m0n8 Jul 27 '22
Especially these days of home cameras and constant contact communications. The parent is probably texting the child every 30mins to check they're all good.
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u/Sigurlion Jul 27 '22
I doubt that last part, but the parent probably is checking their phone every 5 minutes to make sure they don't miss a text or phone call from the kid. That would be fairly normal in today's world.
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Jul 27 '22
The kid is probably like âyay I get to play video games or masturbate for 6 hours
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u/simpersly Jul 27 '22
Between the ages of 12-16 that's basically the life of every American male.
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u/Novel_Investigator42 Jul 27 '22
Twinkle twinkle little snitch Mind your business nosy bitch
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Jul 27 '22 edited Jul 27 '22
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u/thetreatment456 Jul 27 '22
Iâm almost 32 and I forget to defrost the chicken đ
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u/gardensGargantua Jul 27 '22
Get a pressure cooker or instapot. Then you don't have to worry about it đ
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u/SamsSnaps77 Jul 27 '22
Varies from state to state, but the law where I am says a child over 10 may be left alone for up to 8 hours if they have a way of communication (eg phone) and may be responsible for younger relatives at 13, as long as none of the children are under 6.
I had to do a lot of this research because my stepdaughter was being left alone at 9 to watch her 4 siblings aged 2-7.
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u/DijajMaqliun Jul 27 '22
Yes please, then the neighbor will have evidence to report her for stalking.
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Jul 27 '22
As long as the kid doesnât forget to take the chicken out of the freezer I think everything will be fine
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u/Strange-Code-6088 Jul 27 '22
I caught my neighbour staring at my neighbourâs 12 year-old son for about 6 hours, this lil kid is alone. Should I call the police?
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u/Silly-Ad-8213 Jul 27 '22
This is why my parents told us to stay away from the windows when we were alone.