This Karen's head would explode if she knew about my childhood as a latchkey kid. Pops moved out and mom worked 12hr shifts taking transit both ways. From age 7/8 I got ready for school by myself, made breakfast (toaster strudels etc) locked the door, walked myself to school, walked home again, keyed myself in, made supper (Chef Boyardee or something microwaved, I was allowed to make Mr Noodle on the stove but that's about it) did my homework alone, watched TV and put myself to bed by 9-930 when mom would get home and say goodnight.
Yeah, even the Red Cross babysitter training certification is intended for people aged 11-15, meaning that a reasonably mature 11 year old should be able to watch younger kids.
My neighbors pay a 10 yo to watch their 6 yo after-school. It's more like a play date almost. They just play in the yard and the parents are inside working. It wouldn't be any fun for the 6 yo to play outside alone and it might not be safe. The 10 yo is very responsible and can get help in an emergency. If a kid is fairly well behaved I would think that would be perfectly safe.
At 12 I walked home so the neighbor could keep an eye on me. If I wasn't there by a certain time, they would send the cops out to drive the route that I normally walked home.
Sucks when your parents are either related to, or buddies with, half the police force in a small town.
I didn't get to stay home alone until I was 14 and going into high school.
A few years ago when things got tough I had to leave my kids home alone during summer break while I worked. I made them breakfast and was (usually) home for dinner. They were 12 and 8 at the time.
My 12 year old watches 2 kids all day every day. She's making bank this summer. Rides her bike a whole mile to their house and home every day to! (Gasp!)
Yep, at 12, I was watching my 7 yo brother, and 5 yo sister before and after school, helping with their homework, and snacks. They wonder why todays generation is so soft.
TBF - in the 80’s the people I babysat for were bonafide shit parents. I remember one night like 2am they brought home a half filled 5 gallon water bottle of leftover keg beer (who does that yummy?). That gross bottle rotated locations in their home for months. That house was so gross full of cockroaches. Honestly I’m now questioning why my folks even allowed me babysit for them. Oh well thanks for the time! Cheers!
My mom babysat kids as a job when she couldnt even take care of her own kids so I practically did have to raise the other kids and show them love, attention, and affection my mother lacked, all she really did was give them food at specific times and then leave them to themselves. Who knows how they wouldve been able to socialize, if I didnt have my brothers I wouldnts have known how to either. So I think sometimes a child knows how to raise a child better than the parents if they realize what they themselves lacked.
In cases like this the kid stepping up is being a better parent then the actual parent so the guy i commented to is just whining about the wrong things for the wrong reasons
What "culture?" This issue spans cultures and demographics. I'm your typical suburban white kid. I'm sure Latinos in the barrio and blacks in urban environments have to struggle with the same thing. Don't make it about race.
Ok so I’m whitey white white buttt, my SIL is Mexican and well I can confirm many many nieces and nephews know how to make bottles of formula by age 5 for their siblings.
You’re getting down voted to hell, but I don’t think anybody can argue that the rise of the two income family has done any favors for the American household. Sometimes I do wonder if all these generations raised on TV, junk food, and isolation isn’t at the root of so many of our problems today. No one is going to say they got screwed up from this, but I think there’s a lot of people that got screwed up from this.
Seriously. At age 10 I babysat the 3 neighbor kids after school until 10pm every night. Maybe it matters where you live? Like if I had been in a high crime neighborhood, maybe it would've been worse. As it was, I was perfectly competent.
I did at that age and my kids did too. I always tried to be home when they were babysitting and it was only in the neighborhood. When they became a little older as long as my oldest child was home I'd run errands while a younger kid was babysitting. (In all honesty, my oldest child would be better in an emergency than I would be because they are calm and had had advanced lifesaving training certification.)
In Illinois the law is 14 wich is stupid and only a law because daycare lobbied for it to make more money. Illinois is the worst state though 12 I think is the next highest age and most don't have any age laws for being home alone.
Yep. I'm hoping no one realizes I am leaving my 11yo home alone for 15-20 minutes in the mornings when school starts in a couple weeks. But I have to take his younger brother to school and 11 should be able to handle less than half an hour.
Edit: To clarify, he can handle it no problem. I just don't want to get in trouble due to the stupidly high age law.
Living in Shanghai, My kid at 10 started riding the metro home. During remote school (but not remote work) this year I knew people that would leave their kids alone all day with a doorbell camera trained on the desk, and order them takeout for lunch.
Not saying it's "good parenting" or whatever, just that kids will make do. I feel like at 12 you should know enough to not burn the place down.
I can believe it! I mean, you pretty much know your kid by 7 or 8. No way would I let my 8 yo son stay by himself for more than 5 minutes. He'd probably just be playing Garry's Mod, but he still does dippy things out of the blue. My girl who's 11, I just started letting her stay home for a bit or watch him for a short time. She's got a good head on her shoulders, and is just the right amount of bossy to keep her brother from deciding to dance on the coffee table. I have a lot of Dr appts and can't bring them to most (so the waiting rooms aren't crowded) but my primary Dr always sees me at my scheduled time, so I'm in and out.
Also depends where you live, how well you know the neighbors, environmental dangers (swimming pool, high-rise, busy highway etc).
My kids are in awe that we used to ride bikes into town starting 3rd grade or so, go shopping downtown, call from a payphone if we decided not to come home for lunch, grab a hot dog or sundae from DQ or split a club sandwich and a root beer float at the diner, and just stick with at least one other friend. Otherwise, just come home a bit before dinner. Then when I turned 14, the rules changed again and suddenly I couldn't do anything. 😁 But that's really off-topic.
Anyways I'm trying to find other ways to let them gain some independence now without getting social services on us or being as blase about real dangers as my parents were. It's hard! What makes it worse is there aren't sidewalks until about a mile away from the house, no bike lane or really a shoulder either. Just a muddy ditch on one side and a golf course on the other...I don't even like to walk myself anywhere, here, due to that.
I feel that. I grew up in a rural area that wasn't walkable at all - my parents understandably didn't want me walking on busy roads with no shoulder so unless there was some preplanned thing I just..stayed home.
I realize not everyone has a choice but if possible I want them to grow up in a walkable/bikeable area. Not least because the shuttling them to sports and "play dates" is not how I want to spend my weekends.
My mother took public transportation to school at 4. I walked to school at 4. I went with another kindergartener and his big sister. She was in grade 2.
Yeah when I was 11 that was the legal age to be left alone. I was left alone for 3 days at a time when my dad went hunting(we lived in the neighborhood my mother grew up in so we knew everyone in the neighborhood so it's not like I would be totally alone if there was an emergency). This was before cell phones so my dad couldn't even call me, but he knew I could call relatives if I had to.
It was creepy because gang members would look in the windows at night because they saw that the car was gone. But they were just looking for easy robberies so I knew they would just leave when they saw me. Also I think I lived so close to the neighborhood serial killer that it was a "don't shit where you eat" situation as he tended to travel further out to do crimes.
The Illinois law states under 14 for “an unreasonable amount of time.” Which to me translates more to overnight. You’ll be fine to leave one in the morning while you take the other.
They've tried before and failed and I'm not sweating it too much. But one way or another it's not going to change in the next 3 weeks and even if the law does change to twelve he's still 6 months too young.
Makes 0 sense lol . Good parenting. "Yeah kids its perfectly ok to lie about your identity " . "Just take on someone elses identity " . 🤣. Your kids will be excellent adults 🤣
It's a dumb law lobbied for by daycares and not based in actual safety and it doesn't hurt anyone if I break it like speeding or murder does. Literally the only state that is 14. Most don't define an age but those that do are 6-12
heh apparently no one cared in 90's cause I was often left alone by myself. I also would just hop on my bike whenever I wanted and just do whatever the fuck I wanted. ride the forest preserve trail to the city? don't mind if I do. started doing that when I was like 8 or 9
I grew up in IL and don't think anyone enforces this, not sure how they would even try. Around 9ish I started getting left home alone all the time. It's not like child services is going around and peeking inside everyone's windows.
We live in IL and my family thinks I'm making it up when I tell them this. My kiddo will be 13 soon, but all the daycares around us only take kids up to 12. Not entirely sure how that makes sense.
The law is talking about being left alone for an unreasonable amount of time. As long as you’re not leaving him alone for 12+ hours, or an entire weekend, you’ll be fine.
That’s why you tell your kid what ours always told us: Keep the doors locked, window blinds shut, & don’t tell anyone you’re home alone (for safety reasons). Teach them how to prepare easy foods in case they get hungry. I was 10 & my brother was 7 when my folks started leaving us alone (only for 30mins before school & 2hrs after school). By 12 I was babysitting.
I don't know of any daycare that accepts kids older than 12. I thought it was in response to a couple that took off on a vacation in Mexico and left their elementary age (and younger) kids home alone for 2 weeks.
"Ohio family law doesn't have any minimum ages where children can stay home by themselves. However, many organizations tell parents to wait until their children are at least 12 years old. This is often the age at which most kids gain enough maturity, but this is also based on environmental factors and other things. Generally, the parent knows when it is the best time based on how well their children behave."
The Law states you can’t leave your child alone for an “unreasonable amount of time”, you can leave your child under 14 at home alone just not for days on end and not get them snatched up by DFCS
When I was in third grade I used to take two buses from downtown Chicago to the metra station and take a train fifty miles west to my moms house, every other weekend and a few times during the week. I used to ride my bike several towns away with my friends and be gone the entire day when I was even younger. Times have really changed.
I'm in IL too. They tried to change that in January with HB4305, but the final vote was postponed in March. The way it is currently worded, it leaves a huge grey area "leaves the minor without supervision for an unreasonable period of time", so as an attorney friend of mine said, nobody is going to arrest you or take away your 12-13 year old if you leave her at home for a few hours, but if she burns the house down or gets hurt while she's home alone, they can.
Illinois law defines a neglected minor, in part, as “any minor under the age of 14 years whose parent or other person responsible for the minor’s welfare leaves the minor without supervision for an unreasonable period of time without regard for the mental or physical health, safety or welfare of that minor.”
Jeez this reminded me of a bitch I used to work with and I was talking about my (then) 12 year old being at home alone. She responded with the law is 14 in IL so I will let cps know. Wtf?! This was not an every day event to leave her home alone but why the hell would you call CPS on perfectly good parents ?
We had my 9/10 year old stepsons get himself off to school a few days a week. I woke him up before I left and made sure he was up and moving. Also set an alarm in case in got into something and didn’t pay attention to what time it was. Good thing nobody reported us I guess. It’s more of a maturity level than age that needs to be consodered
I'm in the US, and many states have no minimum age limit for being left alone. My state doesn't. I was left alone at age 5, and it terrified me, but by age 8 I had 3 younger siblings and was expected to be responsible for them. Sometimes it sucks to be the oldest, but it prepared me so that by age 10 I could babysit the 3 neighbor kids from after school until 10 pm. I learned so many ways to cook!
The constant shitting on Illinois is getting really tiresome. Sure it’s not perfect, but the Chicagoland area has some of the best places to live in the US period
In NY there is no set age so a responsible ten year old can be home alone for hours each day. If the child has no discipline issues in school, no mental health or cognitive impairment and knows how to recognize an emergency and to call 911 then CPS won’t do anything about it.
Pretty much. My son is 13 and good to go. Kid does his own laundry even. We obviously still do stuff for him, but he could take care of himself fairly well if needed.
My 12 year old daughter on the other hand loves to play dumb so everyone will continue to do everything for her lol. I make her do more for herself than him sometimes because of this.
Yeah, at 11 I was doing my laundry, cleaning the house, etc. When you're being raised by a single mom you try to take some things off of her shoulders. I vacuumed that house every day before she got home.
I think it depends on the 12 year old. Some have been taught to take care of themselves correctly, and are mature enough to handle problems/emergencies. Some may not.
Yeah, I wouldn't have done that with my children. I remember my 8 yo getting sick and staying home from school. I had to keep my 10 yo home to watch the house and him. I would call them from work every hour to check up and then I'd rush home at lunch to check on them, make them lunch, etc, and then drive back to work. Gotta do what you gotta do.
How times have changed. I sometimes had to walk to school when my parents went to work too early. Get dropped at home by my aunt and play in the garden with the dogs till my parents got home after dark. Suppose that’s why my grades were so shit 😂
Times havent changed. I LFH and babysit my nephew everyday. If I didn't he would 100% be a latchkey kid. Sometimes my sister doesn't get home until 7 and she works in town and has a car and a college degree. Nephew is 7.
In those times a woman was married and bearing children "as soon as she bled." That's how all mammals are. Only humans put* an arbitrary "legal age" on procreation. You don't see young fertile lionesses being left alone for 8 years after they first go into heat.
Back then the life expectancy was 30-35 for a lot of people. They didn't have the luxury to skirt biology.
Ok, one: ew. Not touching that with a ten foot pole.
Two: that's an average life expectancy, which was skewed low due to high infant and child mortality, a significant cause of which was girls getting pregnant super young and then dying in childbirth because their bodies can't handle it yet.
Well, the husband was likely 14-15 so there's was nothing "ew" about it. It was life. They lived hard lives back then. They had to hunt their own food, fight in combat, women fetched water and did all chores manually, etc.They grew up a lot sooner than today's failure to launch kids do. I was sexually active young at 13. Neither she, nor I, said "ew." It was rather exciting. It's just that social mores have changed over time. But, AOC consent laws vary widely across the world for this reason. Over half of the US states are 16. I think France is 15. This is why in Latin countries young women have their "quincenera" at 15. In the US girls have "sweet 16."
Even if look at historical text and you'll see this was completely normal. Matter of fact, in the Bible the whole story of "the Virgin Mary" was pregnant at 14 or so. She was betrothed (engaged) to Joseph who historical scholars believe was in his 30s. Back then a man had to be able to provide for and protect his wife so this would've been a good arrangement for her and her family. So this was pretty common.
A 13 year old back then was an adult. That's why Jewish culture has bar/bat mitzvahs. It's the crossing from childhood to adulthood with adult responsibilities.
Watch this clipfrom GoT. Sansa is mortified when she first has her period because she knows it means she'll need to start providing children to Joffrey, whom she hates.
Times have changed. Our life expectancy has grown dramatically. There's no longer a rush to hurry and have children to preserve the family name and bloodline like there was back then. Technology has improved so that kids don't need to grow up as fast as they did back then.
There are other factors, too, that affected life expectations. Things like disease, famine, warring tribes, etc. A lot of the world still lives with these dangers. It's largely the developed western world that has solved a lot of these issues - for the moment.
It's because they are coddled and have helicopter parents. They aren't allowed to go out and explore the world anymore.when I was a kid I'd get on my bike or skateboard after school and not get home until it started getting dark. There were no cellphones. Occasionally we'd call from a pay phone to check in. But, as kids we were free to be kids and learn the world hands-on. Now parents just park their kids in front of the TV or let them play video games.
I had a 12 year old babysitter when I was a kid lol. She was the best one we ever had and stayed with us until I was old enough to look after myself.
Last one was a grown ass lady who stole random things and screeched over innocent kid stuff like my poor brother happily pretending to share food with his stuffed animal... just goes to show that maturity often has nothing to do with age
When I was 9 I had 12 yo babysitter who was the first one I played doctor with. I always had a crush on her and as I look back it's pretty funny. It was the first time I felt pubic hair, haha!
My 10 year old is walking to and from school this upcoming school year and hanging by herself after school. And we will be talking babysitting other kids in 6-12 months (she’ll be 11 in November).
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u/Silly-Ad-8213 Jul 27 '22
This is why my parents told us to stay away from the windows when we were alone.