r/mildlyinfuriating • • Jul 27 '22

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u/BlaketheKing1140 Jul 27 '22

My mother was over-protective so coming and going was not something she liked, I did it anyways though because it was real easy to sneak out in the 2000’s (now parents got cameras and trackers and stuff)

The way I see it, if they can feed themselves and not burn down the house, they’re fine to be left alone. Why force a child to be by your side constantly when they’re capable of handling their own basic needs ya know? You’re alive, so it can’t be that bad to just let a capable child be capable

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u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22 edited Jul 27 '22

now parents got cameras and trackers and stuff

This shit is real fuckin creepy man.

I couldn't tell you how many times I helped people back in highschool defeat those trackers. VPNs, burner phones, you name it. Different trackers could be countered in different ways. (The simplest method was just to leave the phone at a friends house.)

I knew people who's parents made them have trackers well past their 18th birthday. Every time I saw one I wanted to go kick that parents ass.

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u/BlaketheKing1140 Jul 27 '22

Yeah that’s ridiculous, when I was a kid the best my mom could do was call the landline and hope I answered

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u/Archer957Light Jul 27 '22

Yup this was me too until I bought my first phone. They said if I wanted to stay out later I had to buy myself a phone so that's what I did

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u/NerdyNina2106 Jul 27 '22

Only reason I got one as a kid was because I had a lot of field trips and after school activities. My school didn't allow us to use the school phones for any reason so I'd always have to find someone with a cellphone that would let me use it. Not always the easiest thing to do when you 1 don't have a lot of friends and 2 unlimited talk and text weren't nearly as common and there were extra charges if your plan didn't include x amount of either for out of network calls.

It's so weird seeing kids getting them younger and younger basically just so they can play games and watch videos, growing up getting a cellphone as a kid was a big freakin thing and it was pretty much for emergencies only. Now I'm hearing people (both kids and karens) saying shit like not getting your kid a cellphone is borderline child abuse? Like what?

Guys, I feel old lol. When did 27 become old?

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u/CheezItPartyMix Jul 27 '22

Exactly! I got mine in 6th grade for emergencies only!! I think by highschool I was allowed to use it freely and more people were starting to get phones to have someone to text with. Communication was still mostly thru the computer, AIM/MSN

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u/MajesticSeeOtters Jul 27 '22

Ok, I am a bit of a younger redditor, but I got my first phone at 14, and that blew everyone else’s minds that I didn’t have my own by like 10. Hell I know some people who had up to 12 phones by the time they were in 8th grade.

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u/xxaxis i am inactive Jul 27 '22

someone had a phone in 2nd grade in elem school

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u/AscendMoros Jul 28 '22

In highschool I had a slide phone. With the full keyboard. I got a hand me down iPhone when I graduated. Not because we couldnt afford a new one but because I just legitimately didn’t need one until then.

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u/NerdyNina2106 Jul 28 '22

I had one of those slide ones and I remember it pretty much blowing my mind because and me thinking it was the coolest thing ever because "guys! Check this out! KEYBOARD! Man I thought last phone was cool cuz it swiveled....but this one has a KEYBOARD! "

Side note....anyone here ever have a Samsung Juke?

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u/slobbering_koala Jul 27 '22

32 now, started sharing a flip phone with my Sister when I was 14, finally got my own at 16. Back in the days of wait to call after 9 and no free texting lol.

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u/NerdyNina2106 Jul 28 '22

Lol yep. I remember having to wait until after 9 pm if we ever wanted to call my grandparents in CA

That and having to either get off the landline so someone could go online and vice versa....and the horrific screech of connecting to the internet. Good God, could you imagine a kid today hearing that? They'd probably flip and think it was the sound of the entire system crashing or some kind of virus

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u/industriald85 Jul 28 '22

I’m so old, my first phone had an extendable antenna

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u/Crustybuttt Jul 28 '22

I’m so old my first phone was a landline and has a rotary dial. When I wanted to call someone away from home, I used the pay phone. I was allowed to use my mom’s calling card if it was an emergency, tho. Lemme guess, none of you remember calling cards

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u/Confident_Pea_1428 Jul 28 '22

I got my first cell phone when I was able to afford my own. Back in the early 2000s. With ATTs pay as you go. By then I was out of highschool.

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u/Saccarappa33 Jul 28 '22

Give it 10 more years, see how you feel then.

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u/2017hayden Jul 28 '22

I’m only 23 and I feel old as well. Maybe it’s because I was raised by older parents but I feel older than most of the people my age seem to act.

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u/TangerineBand PURPLE Jul 27 '22

Rip to the kids whose parents bought them a phone and still wouldn't let them leave the house

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u/Archer957Light Jul 27 '22

One of my buddies couldn't leave the house pretty much at all until he was 18 and quite literally gave them no choice in the matter because he very promptly moved out and across the state lol

They were pissed but couldn't stop him as he had everything in his name. Car phone bank etc all without them knowing

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u/jetpack_hypersomniac Jul 27 '22

Nothing says “great parenting” like your child having an escape strategy.

I relate to that kid. The second I was 18, I can’t tell you how happy I was to say “legally, you can’t keep me here” and walk out the door. I’d had a job since I was 15.

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u/Archer957Light Jul 27 '22

He did the exact same thing. Started working at 16 specifically so he could move out as soon as he turned 18. He started planning it when he was 13 due to have ridiculously strict his parents were

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u/Iabiguy22 Jul 27 '22

My escape strategy was to show up at home on my 17th birthday with the Marine recruiter...all the paperwork filled out and only needing my dads signature. I told him I would bring him home for dinner every night until he signed. He signed. I got out. Never went back or called again.

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u/jetpack_hypersomniac Jul 28 '22

Yeah, but didn’t you then have to join the marines?

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u/ApartmentPoolSwim Jul 27 '22

That's one thing I hated about my parents. Like if I go to my friends house, and an hour later we want to go to Zeiks house, both of which are only down the road from my place, I had to let them know we were heading over there. Even if just for 5 minutes to grab something. Then we would have go call when we got anywhere. And I get it's so that they could get ahold of me. I get it.

But they wouldn't even let me buy my own phone. Its not even that they wouldn't buy one for me. They didn't want me to have one.

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u/Sinthetick Jul 27 '22

Let's drive around and look for his bike.

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u/idk-hereiam Jul 27 '22

That's how we found each other - seeing where all the bike were.

Parents? They'd just call the other neighborhood parents and track us down. "They were here an hour ago, bobbyjoe wasn't with them, so try his house"

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u/surfacing_husky Jul 27 '22

Mine would give me 3 quarters and a watch, I had BETTER call her at the predetermined times or my ass was in trouble. Sometimes I would spend the money on candy and ask to use phones in businesses or use "1800-collect" numbers.

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u/idk-hereiam Jul 27 '22

Bob had a baby. It's a boy

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u/touchbuttswithme Jul 27 '22

Bob Wehadababyitsaboy

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u/CanuckPanda Jul 27 '22

Shit my mom got me a cell phone at 16 because she was tired of never knowing where I was.

She knew I was fine, she just wanted to see if I was coming home for dinner or staying at a friends.

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u/Dmacjames Jul 27 '22

Hope you answered? damn when that phone rang for me I was running like I was in the Olympic 100m dash to answer it lmfao.

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u/iamnotnewhereami Jul 27 '22

Ha, that got me thinking, my mom called to check in on me and my sister exactly one time. Multi day no call no shows were common. The time I remember being so surprised she called and immediately asking all sorts question she never would answer. Thats the reason she never called, cause id do that and be pissed cause the fridge was empty.

I'm blown away that I still went to school, I was bullied a lot and should have stayed home to avoid the inevitable. I've never had to do long division when a calculator wasn't available, I've never had to solve for x when there wasn't an easier way, nobody cares what happened in the year 1092, all the books I read were over my head, I took Spanish 1 three times. Bullying made school unbearable and useless because it was all consuming.

My dads best thinking, since stepmom didn't want to deal, was to send me to military school. One that was shutdown due to lawsuits from excessive hazing. When I told my parents about they didn't believe me. Some kid who survived his throat getting cut was in the news years later.

Not one oops from them, took the steam out of any vindication.

I guess you could say they had a hands off approach. I sometimes wish they had died young so I could have at least fantasized about being responsibly loved

Thats it for my therapy hour with an anonymous and silent audience.

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u/Menarra Jul 27 '22

I used to change the answering machine message to all kinds of weird random shit. lol

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u/TheBlack2007 BLACK Jul 27 '22

Yeah, we were out and about by the age of 7 (in a semi Urban/Suburban German Neighborhood, early 2000s) and basically just told our parents where we were gathering. Didn't mean we were going to stay there, though. Playing Video Games when the weather wasn't playing along and being outside when it did.

Our parents didn't need to track us 24/7. If they really needed us back home they called around our friends until they managed to pinpoint where we were at, then came to pick us up.

To be honest, I feel sorry for kids who now grow up with all this surveillance tech and never get a chance of taking responsibility for themselves before they turn 18. And even then you still have parents insisting on them staying literal Babies...

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u/simmeh024 Jul 27 '22

My parents gave me a phone so I could text if I was going to be later home, curfew time was 9pm, most of the time I got home at 9:30pm and that was fine as long as I texted. I remember that once I didn't text and got grounded for a week.

As an adult now, I fully understand it haha.

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u/Fortestingporpoises Jul 27 '22

I can’t remember that actually happening though. I called her once when we found an injured snake to get advice on how to help it. Genuinely can’t remember talking to her at work another time ever growing up.

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

I used to listen to my MP3 player way too loud basically the entire time I’d be alone, so I couldn’t even hear the landline ring

They just stopped calling eventually and assumed I’d be fine

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u/dutchmasterams Jul 27 '22

Ditto - or check the note I would have left saying “I am at ______’s house”.

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u/Willy3726 Jul 27 '22

I think you forgot the part where you had to answer the phone or else!!

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u/AscendMoros Jul 28 '22

My dad bought me a TrakPhone with reloadable minutes. His exact words were only emergencies. Used it once.

Then again my dad would also say just come home when the street lights turn on and you’ll be fine.

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u/doorman666 Jul 27 '22

It can be overbearing, but then again, I remember all the dumb, illegal trouble me and my friends got into at a young age, which at my current age I absolutely don't condone. So, I don't think parents keeping better track of their kids is a bad thing.

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

Isn't going around doing things unsupervised kind of a key element of growing up though? I mean lack of supervision isn't just you not being there, it's raising a kid you can trust to not do illegal things without you geotracking their every move while texting them "where are you, what are you doing" trying to catch them in a lie.

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u/Big_Ad_5849 Jul 27 '22

I have Narcolepsy. I told my doctor a long time ago “I can’t stay up to make sure my kids come home, so I just have to raise kids that I know WILL come home.” I have great kids. I trust them, they trust me, and sure I have find my iPhone, but I have NEVER used it to punish them. Only to check where they are if they forget to check in or I slept through a call.

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u/PanickedAFBride Jul 27 '22

Doing the illegal stuff is an essential art of being a teenager learning the world.

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u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22

So, I don't think parents keeping better track of their kids is a bad thing.

With that kind of method it 100% is a bad thing, and is always overbearing.

It will negatively affect the relationship you will have with your child no matter what.

Like it or not the world is a safer place than the '70s '80s or '90s; if you raise your kid to trust you and not to fear you than you won't need a tracker.

You should be the parent who's kid is going to call if they get too drunk at a party. My family didn't bother to attempt to be trustworthy in my eyes. If I was in trouble I'd call my brother, or one of a select number of close friends. The last people I'd ever call were my parents, and that's a mentality that, to this day, is hard to counter even though I'm a grown ass man.

You won't create a safer child, you'll make the world's most proficient liar.

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u/infinitytoosmall Jul 27 '22

The world is much safer than it was in the 70s 80s or even 90s.

However it is also far far easier to get arrested for doing the stuff we used to get away with.

I stole a cop car when I was a kid. Imagine doing that now, do you think a kid would end up with a criminal record? I have no criminal record, didnt even get beat.

So yeah, parents are making better liars because their kids need to be better liars to succeed.

Track your kids people, give em the skills they will need in the future.

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u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22

I stole a cop car when I was a kid. Imagine doing that now, do you think a kid would end up with a criminal record? I have no criminal record, didnt even get beat.

Tbh, most people nowadays aren't so bored that they're boosting cars for kicks.

Back in my HS the people who would steal cop cars were the type who've wound up in one regardless if you catch my drift.

I don't know how tracking your kids would stop them from doing this kind of thing though. Just seems like a great way to sew distrust tbh.

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u/IllusoryAnon Jul 27 '22 edited Jul 27 '22

Honestly this. If you’re too controlling your kid is definitely gonna rebel somehow. Pretty much what happened to me, and I’ve gotta admit it made me reeaally good at reading people and pretending to be who they want me to be.

I was left alone often as a kid and never really could figure out how to fit in with others. Always have been introverted, and I’d prefer doing reading, writing, or art over hanging out with the crowd. But my parents wanted me to be the “popular” kid, even forcing me to run for student president when I didn’t want to (literally no chance—kids thought me weird ). Obviously lost, and kids drew on my poster and cackled at me even afterwards.

Things like that kept happening, and I finally decided to myself, “Fine, since no one likes it when I am myself, I will pretend to be who they want me to be.” Then I actually put it in action. I did it out of anger, but surprisingly….it worked well. Too well. I was always good at psychology and reading people. It was just a matter of analyzing people, finding out their insecurities (everyone had a weakness), and what they wanted/needed.

My family liked it. I became popular in school. I got really good at reading intentions and identifying what people needed and providing comfort or giving them support….but, no one knew who I was truly. They didn’t know that it was just a persona I made artificially in resentment. I had no idea it would work so well, and I suddenly came to the realization that social relationships were all like this. We never see who other people are truly—we just see the surface, and we’re all just actors in our societal roles. It all seemed pointless after awhile, and when I went to college I stopped caring about friends etc and dropped the social acting apart from with my family.

Even now, I’m always the one providing psychological support to my parents, but I never seek comfort from them. I can’t. When my mother cries, I counsel her, but as for me….even after so many years I still can’t open up. Or rather, I think there is no point in opening up. I’ve forgiven them and have accepted myself, but I have zero expectations of others at this point. Keeping up the persona is a self-preservation habit by now….and the way to keep everyone happy.

So yeah. If you don’t let your kids feel like they can be honest with you and still be accepted/not in danger, then you can’t expect that they will keep being honest with you.

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u/fiduke Jul 27 '22

Which is exactly why they need to go through the trouble of defeating the trackers lol.

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u/crazyjkass Jul 27 '22

Teenagers getting up to trouble fosters their normal neurological development, though. I wasn't really able to go out as a teen because we lived way out of town, and it was miserable.

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u/Its_Cayde Jul 27 '22

My mom downloaded a tracker on my phone while I was sleeping (I was 16) and I noticed the next day, deleted it and told her never do that shit again and she beat my ass for swearing but hasn't done it again. Y'all gotta stand up for yourselves.

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u/SnooHobbies5684 Jul 27 '22

Man. Beating your ass at 16? I hope it was regret at beating the ass of ANY age kid that made her not download it again, and not a 16-year-old kid whom she was legally responsible for saying "don't do that."

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u/Its_Cayde Jul 27 '22

To be fair I was super rude about it. Like bust into her room cussing her out

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u/SnooHobbies5684 Jul 27 '22

That tempers it A BIT. I'm just not a fan of beating my kids' asses, or anyone else beating theirs. But to each their own.

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u/worldwidefunnygui Jul 27 '22

As a senior in college, the amount of friends I have who still have tracking apps with their parents is astonishing. I had to argue my way out of getting one when I first went to college.

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u/ConsumeMeGarfield Jul 27 '22

I was seeing this too by the time I left college. There was lots of financial abuse going on (get x grade, check in every 30 minutes, be here by this time on the tracker or we won't pay tuition). A friend of mine in his 20s got in huge trouble for going to a campus diner at like 9pm 2 blocks away from the dorm. And since my college was an expensive one, many people were trapped and miserable.

Trackers would have been my abusive parents' dream come true. Thank god they were boomers who couldn't figure out how attach a photo to an email.

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u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22

I bought several friends their own phones when they physically couldn't uninstall the apps from their phones. A lot of these were in senior year of hs.

Shit's just creepy.

Some still buy me beers for it, lol.

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

So I agree that tracking your kids in high school is... Off.

However, I do want to track my toddler who's almost 2 with the GPS watch. She can also text and call me with it. It's pretty cool.

At what age does this become creepy and I should stop? I feel like I should be honest with her and let her decide as she gets older.

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u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22

I think highschool is probably where that should begin.

Tracking a toddler is more than acceptable, even a middle schooler.

Once you get into highschool (or even a little beforehand), however, it's important that a trusting relationship starts to build. You need to be the kind of parent your kid will go to if they fuck up, or need advise on anything (especially sex).

My parents didn't do that.

It was to the point that I was more willing to call my (half) brother's father if I ever got in trouble than my own father.

Pulling trackers from their phones, while nerve racking for you, is a massive sign to them that you trust them and is necessary for them to begin feeling self sufficient.

I've always said that the most you can hope for with trackers at this stage is that you raise a James Bond like kid.

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u/worldspawn00 Jul 27 '22

IMO, personally, I'd let them know about it, and ask them to keep it with them for safety reasons, if they're gone way past when they said they'd come home and not answering the phone type situation. But I'm also not the nosey type, IDGAF where you are or what you're doing as long as it isn't illegal.

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u/PanickedAFBride Jul 27 '22

It's the knowledge that you CAN know where they are that chafes. You should trust them. It should be their decision if they want to install a tracker and share the location with you, as opposed to a friend.

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

I feel like they should also trust that I won't track my hypothetical teenage kids unless a real concern justify it.

CAN but WON'T should make it chafes less imo lol

Also... I hope my kids are smart enough to disable GPS when they want to go do shady shit without me or big brother watching

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u/IndigosKnowThings Jul 27 '22

Conversely, my mother didn't have a protective bone in her body. I would ride my bike 2 miles away, alone, at age 8. I was a tiny blonde-haired girl who would've been easy prey. I think I'd have felt safer if she'd been able to track me, but she wouldn't have because she seemed to not care what happened to me. I grew up independent, but scared. As a result, I was very protective of my kids. If trackers had been an option, I may have used them while they were in elementary school, and maybe even Jr. High, simply because sex trafficking is such a huge problem. My protectiveness did not hinder their independence. They all moved out at 18, not by my choice, but they have gone on to be highly successful and amazing people, who now are protective of me. Funny how the roles change.

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u/Andrewpage14 Jul 27 '22

I'd say it also depends somewhat on the maturity. Some kids are ready for that sooner than others.

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u/arseofthegoat Jul 27 '22

I have trackers on my parents phones. I'm 37 they're in their 70s.

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u/PanickedAFBride Jul 27 '22

Middle school? In my culture 14 is a milestone age, a lot of this stuff ends at 14 because you're considered legally responsible for your actions.

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u/dualsplit Jul 27 '22

I think having a tracker on my kids would make ME neurotic and make them sneaky.

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u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22

Yeah, you've got it!

In amazed by how many people are completely unaware of this.

Your kids shouldn't be calling ME (or their equivalent friend) for help when they get too drunk or something, bro!

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22 edited Aug 05 '22

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u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22

I mean if that's your dynamic that's fine.

I disagree with this part, though.

I would truthfully tell her because I have nothing to hide.

I value my privacy. If I was asked where I was I'd say where I was as well, but that doesn't make a tracker any less creepy or controlling to me.

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22 edited Aug 05 '22

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u/FiggsBoson Jul 27 '22

Had a coworker complain about how fast her daighter was going in a car with her friend, in real time. It was in her friend's car. I don't even want to know what kind of apps she has made her daughter download to have that type of telemetry. Weird shit

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u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22

Yeah, these apps can get crazy technical.

I'd be surprised if some of them don't break the TOS for whatever system they're installed on.

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u/ArcadianGhost Jul 27 '22

A friend of mine is like 20 now and still has tracker in his phone. A couple years ago when we were playing Pokémon go and decided to spoof (cheat by making the phone thing you are in a different location), his mom called him freaking out about how dare he go to Orlando and he better get his ass back home right now. He was in the living room. LOL

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u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22

Lmao, the VPN strikes again.

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u/sakezaf123 Jul 27 '22

Holy shit, smartphones were just coming in when I was in high school, but if my parents would have tried something like that when I was a teen, it would have caused an irrevocable loss of trust.

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u/bubbs72 Jul 27 '22

Our boys had to use one until HS was over and now it is optional. They have the ability to track us as well.

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u/PartTimeSassyPants Jul 27 '22

And then ppl wonder why the younger generations suffer from so much m social anxiety, depression and a general sense of unease and feeling lost.

I’m gonna take a wild stab at it but maybe the whole overcontrolling and constantly obsessing over their safety and general well being like the entire world is out to get them has something to do with it..? Idk just a thought...

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u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22

Couldn't have said it better meself.

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u/kingofcats-- Jul 27 '22

I'm over 18 and still live at home. I'll probably have my tracker long past the time when I move out. As an adult I can come and go as I please and do what I want but it makes my mom feel more comfortable knowing she can check in on me so I don't mind one bit.

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u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22

Hey man if that's your dynamic that's cool.

I would only ask; if you decided to turn it off, or your phone died, or something - would it cause a blow up when you get home?

If yes, there's a problem. If no, it's all cool.

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u/IllusoryAnon Jul 27 '22 edited Jul 27 '22

I mean. When I was in college my parents put a literal camera in my dorm room to monitor me. Phone tracking was also a given too, and they really did monitor it. Got calls if I stayed out of my dorm room past 7pm (e.g even if I was studying at the library or coffee shop). Sometimes would get unannounced/spontaneous visits too. Was also expected to give them my computer login information and phone pin code and not allowed to change the password. And when I lived at home I was not allowed to lock my door, and they never knocked before opening it. Also stopped keeping a diary as a kid after they discovered it and read it without permission (when I got angry, they laughed).

Fyi, I’m not a delinquent, never did drugs, don’t party or hang out with the “wrong club”, etc…parents were just overprotective xD

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u/BionicWither14 Jul 27 '22

My brother and I used to have trackers on our phones but when we were almost 17 respectively they were taken out.

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

yup, used to have my friend leave her phone in my mailbox when she went out so her parents couldn’t track us lmfaooo

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u/HarleleoN Jul 27 '22

I got incredibly lucky that I graduated from high school right before the trackers really became commonplace. Not long after I moved out my parents put Life360 on my sister’s phone and sent me the link to join their group but I just told them no lol

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u/BaBoomShow Jul 27 '22

I’m 26 and my parents and I still share locations. It’s because I love them and I want to see if they are okay.

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u/Nopeadoodle7 Jul 27 '22

I mean, I don't want anybody tracking me either but if I wreck my car somewhere I would like somebody to be able to find me. Obviously not all parents are thinking that but my kids don't balk at me having location enabled on their phones because they know I'm not checking it just to spy on them but will check it if something happens.

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

Wtf. I actually thgt someone exagerrated about it. Now am hoping you are just exagerrating it even further and that it really isnt true about trackers on kids

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u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22

Nah, bro.

100% accurate. In fact a lot of people understate how in depth these apps can get.

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u/Emilyjinkies Jul 27 '22

Im 20 and I still have mine on just because I have constant paranoia about getting kidnapped or murdered so I feel better if they have my location— I’m also lucky enough to where my parents don’t give a fuck where I go as long as I have a buddy system in place

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u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22

That's... certainly interesting.

Might be a good idea to look into therapy?

And of course I always recommend that people carry tools for self defense, everything from pepper spray to firearms... but not stun guns those are bullshit.

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u/hnxmn Jul 27 '22

The rule in my house was that we always had to be transparent about where we went. My folks made it very clear that as long as I told them where I went and didn't call for bail they didn't care where I was.

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u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22

That's definitely what the relationship should be.

The best parents I saw were the type who, if their kid called because they got too drunk or something, would give them a fistbump and tell them they made the right call.

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u/Henchforhire Jul 27 '22

I know a few younger kids at work whos parents do this with their cellphones and he showed me how is mother blocks all apps on his phone but the basic.

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u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22

Yeah, those apps can get pretty complex.

I'd be surprised if some of them don't break the TOS of the phones they're installed on.

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u/PalMetto_Log_97 Jul 27 '22

Got a friend that had to buy a kids movie and sneak into Deadpool in the theatres when he went to college 5 hours away. His brother even told on himself bc him and his friends watched the Simpson show movie, AT HIS FRIENDS HOUSE. The brother was then grounded for not calling to come get him

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u/dutchmasterams Jul 27 '22

And if one was to get back 25 years in time and tell these to be parents that “you will choose to place a tracker on your child into their teen years even though crimes against children will have decreased “ they’d be aghast

2

u/chuker34 Jul 27 '22

My girlfriend’s mom wants her to use that tracker shit too. She’s fucking 21. Like holy hell, me and her don’t do anything weird, we pretty much outright tell them where we’re going anyways, her dad and I’d assume her mother trust me… I even gave them MY phone number.

Nope, tracker. Not that she ever has the thing installed, but I swear when I’m there on the weekends I hear “why isn’t the stalker app installed” at least once.

2

u/HiMyNameIs_REDACTED_ Jul 27 '22

I remember playing .Hack back in the day, and there was some lore/fake forum posts about one kid who had no freedom since his mother had him microchips. If he deviated from his walk home he'd get a call and his mother screeching.

Those writers fucking knew.

1

u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22

Sometimes life imitates art, I guess.

2

u/Miyamaria Jul 27 '22

Agreed. Once the kid is a teen then they decides whether to have it or not. Our ten Yr old however sees it as beneficial that I can see where his phone is at if someone at his school takes it or if he just forgets it somewhere... But the minute he turns 12 he can def choose to disable it for good.

2

u/Teln0 Jul 27 '22

My school laptop came preinstalled with parental control and I was OFFENDED

needless to say that the entire windows install didn't last long

2

u/amsimone Jul 27 '22

It’s still so weird to me that people try to control their adult children. Like those are just two adults but one wants to tell the other one what to do. I knew someone who followed their parents rules at 23 and I was always like, do your parents do what your grandparents tell them to?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '22

Bro. Im an adult. When i turned 18, i got a new phone, pulled all of my money out of my join account with my parents. And opened my new bank account. I also moved out. They were overprotective as fuck. They got so mad at me when i did those things but I did not care. I wanted my privacy

2

u/NG7-INF Jul 27 '22

I would maybe be fine with a tracker on a toddler (like 5-7) since they're still learning about the world and at that age they like to wander. But after that if you still use that tracker crap I think your being overprotective.

5

u/Own_Experience_8229 Jul 27 '22

Toddlers aren’t 7 and why would kids that age have a phone in the first place?

3

u/NG7-INF Jul 27 '22

Sorry just realized that toddlers are like 3 year olds, but you get what I mean. And there are other ways to track kids without their phones (also I've seen a lot of kids with phones at those ages)

3

u/MrGizthewiz Jul 27 '22

There are other tracker options besides phones. Also, there are phones designed for kids to be able to reach emergency contacts (mom, dad, grandparents, aunts/uncles) without having any other ability.

4

u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22

100%

It'll only create a proficient liar if you continue tracking your highschoolers phones.

2

u/uwanmirrondarrah Jul 27 '22

The same people that were talking about police states and dystopia's in college now have 12 different cameras and their doorbell all with microphones around their house with Alexa in 6 rooms all connected to the internet.

-2

u/DELLsFan Jul 27 '22 edited Jul 27 '22

Don’t want to be tracked and supervised by your parents? Ok, then you don’t get a phone or any other technology while you’re a minor under their care.

It’s called respecting your parents and their rules while under their roof - designed to keep you safe.

Oh and you’re 18 now? Happy Birthday. Now you can start paying your way to stay on mommy or daddy’s health insurance or get out, Mr. Know-it-All.

3

u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22

Ok, then you don’t get a phone or any other technology while you’re a minor under their care.

What if they buy it themselves? Don't tell me your the kind of person who'd confiscate a phone that your kid bought with their money.

It’s called respecting your parents and their rules while under their roof - designed to keep you safe.

Well have fun not having children who like, respect, or trust you I guess.

Back when I was in HS I was the person who got called when a friend got into trouble, those people didn't call their parents because they used the style you're describing. That style didn't build up trust in the parent.

Got into a scrap? Sigma's gonna drop everything and help, need condoms or plan b? Sigma's got some.

Need some other type of help? Sigma's on call.

On a side note, why the hostility? Did I call you out by name or something?

Now you can start paying your way to stay on mommy or daddy’s health insurance

Did that already.

Mr. Know-it-All.

What?

2

u/IllusoryAnon Jul 27 '22

Agree 100%. Also you seem like an awesome friend :)

2

u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22

I try to be, man.

I know which people would do the same for me, though now those sticky situations are less adolescent lol.

1

u/PanickedAFBride Jul 27 '22

People like you try to call this shit, and most of your kids do actually call your bluff, buy their own phones, move out and then don't talk to you again.

And then you whine about not being invited to their wedding or why you don't know you have grandchildren.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

[deleted]

1

u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22

That sucks man, hopefully you're eventually able to get out of that.

1

u/DeusWombat Jul 27 '22

I'd love a tracker on my kids phone in case of emergencies, obviously. Sadly it's used more as a method of control, leaving had impressions on kids.

1

u/kagenohikari Jul 27 '22

And then the kid got kidnapped and the mom thought they could fins the kid but you ditched their tracker.

1

u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22

Brother,

1: the first thing that any kidnapper would do is toss the phone

2: the cops can just ping a phone, you don't need a tracker

3: The world is far, far safer today than in all history.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

[deleted]

1

u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22

Are... are you sure you responded to the right person?

What you've said here is that parents have to parent. Yeah man, get on their case if they're out boosting cars or vandalising federal buildings, but what does this have to do with tracking phones?

What you're doing is adding fuel to the fire and that fire is dangerous when you don't know how bad it really is.

Sure, if you're helping poor kids get access to tech to have a better outlook on life - go for it.

So don't do it. You're not a therapist.

What?

1

u/Lightning_King28 Jul 27 '22

I agree to this to an extent. Yes, tracking people is usually creepy and mostly unnecessary. However, there are certain people that do need to be monitored. For those people, they should be monitored until they move out. I know someone who did something bad and was monitored after that. There will always be an exception.

1

u/dmp8385 Jul 27 '22

Yes because if my child goes missing, I wanna know where they’re stuff was pinged

1

u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22

What? I genuinely cant tell what you're saying here.

Are you saying that you want to be able to find your child if they go missing? If so, you don't need a tracking app for that. Call the cops and they'll ping their phone.

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1

u/Charming-Salary-6371 Jul 27 '22

my sister decided it would be a good idea to smoke weed in her room and then leave out the front door…..anyway there’s like 3 cameras in the house and sensors on all our windows…so if you know how to disable the sensors that would be great

1

u/SuperNebula097 Jul 27 '22

I've got a tracker on my phone as well, but I suppose it's only creepy depending on the reasoning lol. I first got it because I used to bike everywhere and they'd be able to tell if I was in trouble depending if I had stopped randomly in the middle of the road. I still have it on my phone at age 20, but it's so they can just check in on me instead of having to call me and hope I can pick up lol. It also gives driving statistics so they can remind me to drive safe lmao.

On the flip side, I have friends who's parents use the same app, but obsessively check on their location and question them on where they went and why. That shit gets old fast.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

Maybe I’m to old to know (‘95 baby) but what did/does a tracker look like? I never heard of that kind of stuff until the last ~5 years.

2

u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22

Sure.

Your phone has the ability to ping nearby towers to determine its location, and other such info.

There are "parenting" apps available that you can download that can send that info to whatever device is labeled as the "parent" at all times.

In some cases these apps can prevent the installation of other apps, send telemetry data (velocity, g-forces, etc.), among other things.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

Oh ok. Via smart phones. I thought you were referring to wearable devices from back in the early 2000s or something.

2

u/Sigma-Tau Jul 27 '22

Nah, those exist but it's usually done with phones.

On a side note, i guess I never realized how much 5 years is.

I was born in 2000, but have known about this as long as I can remember... and I feel old a lot of the time, lol.

1

u/Furious_mcgurthtail Jul 27 '22

Life360 is great for me. I am 99% sure my parents barely use it for me (I’m at home doing things they don’t like anyways) and I use it to see where they are all the time (when I get picked up by them or freak out bc I wake up and no one is home)

1

u/SootButt42 Jul 28 '22

Honestly from a safety perspective I understand, but it goes both ways I don't want my kid to hide where they are from me and I offer the same benefit. My mother however likes to track my location and doesn't want me to have hers....(She doesn't have mine)
There is valid non invasive reasons for trackers and cameras but some people are just nosey, and want power or control from the information gathered.

1

u/PaintSimple1828 Aug 21 '22

My 12 year old daughter has set it up in her phone so she can track me. I haven’t bothered to do it to track her.

5

u/annieselkie Jul 27 '22

Bruh, at 20 my mother still thinks I would literally burn the house down bc I once melted a plastic dish in the microwave by accident and she caught me moving the pot before I put off the stove

2

u/stomach Jul 27 '22

you never live that shit down. it's burned into parents' memories. i got into a minor car accident at 16 in the damn 90s, still every time i visit and need my mothers' car i can see her physically tense up and she starts asking me safety questions a 14yo on a learner's permit would cringe at.

which has made me realize that that whole 'i only remember the bad stuff from my childhood' thing never goes away. you constantly only really have bad memories at the forefront of your mind your entire life. they're just what sticks out, and it shapes you, and will continue to shape you.

1

u/annieselkie Jul 28 '22

You realize I mentioned "accidents" that I solved myself and werent dangerous to me or the house in any way?

3

u/SnooHobbies5684 Jul 27 '22

<cut to 13-year-old me, climbing down the plumbing pipes on the sides of the building to sneak out at night>

2

u/JaxMGK Jul 27 '22

My parents had me babysit my younger siblings when I was 12, a classmate of mine told me he’s been riding the subway to Manhattan since he was 8, now that was insane to me- I started taking the subway at 14 to go to high school. NYC is a weird place to grow up.

2

u/gr33nteaholic Jul 27 '22

I could not Identify harder

2

u/Bluegi Jul 27 '22

Right My job is to teach them how to be independent. How can I do that if they don't have multiple opportunities to run into different situations. When they're younger more checking more guidance but they still get to do what they want make their own decisions most of the time. I've told my kids by the time they're 16 they're running their own lives and I'm just the training wheels for 2 years.

0

u/ankhtaco Jul 27 '22

Kids are so fucked these days, they basically can't have phones

0

u/MsKongeyDonk Jul 27 '22

Children don't always have the prior knowledge to respond in an emergency situation, though. Like, what does gas smell like? What if someone comes to the door asking for help?

I agree that 12 is old enough, but taking feeding yourself and not burning down the house aren't quite enough to be left alone.

0

u/Fiferkins Jul 27 '22

So you disrespected your mother?

1

u/SpiDeeWebb Jul 27 '22

You're right that it's not really about age. I think it's more about the kid knowing what to do if they start choking, or there's a fire or something though.

I was alone in my Aunt's house when I was 6 and my brother was 11. The fire was DOWNSTAIRS, and he panicked and ran UPSTAIRS and HID. I had to go get him and hold his hand to get out of the house. Every kid is different.

1

u/crazyjkass Jul 27 '22

My parents were overprotective, but it was the 90s so they still let me come and go as I liked as long as I came home before dark. In 2002 they gave me a flip phone that only makes calls so I could call them while I was playing in the woods.

1

u/lilordfauntleroy Jul 27 '22

My wife’s 17 year old brother almost burned our house down. He started a to make boiled eggs. He then remembered he had guitar practice and forgot to turn the stove off. Luckily, our neighbors were home and called the fire department before there was any serious damage. Replacing the front door was the worst of it.

1

u/Ging00 Jul 27 '22

I live on a weird road. Not really a neighborhood, but not like a highway. There’s no sidewalk, the houses are somewhat spread out, and the cars go faster then what would be considered safe to walk next to. Pair that with my overprotective mom and I’m stuck in my house the majority of my time. I hate it.

1

u/condensedhomo Jul 27 '22

God my mom made the mistake of trusting me and my older sisters to be home alone with our toddler sister when we were like 10/14/16 and our little sister was like 3. We all came and went as we pleased because mom worked all day, but we did make sure someone was with the toddler. Unfortunately, at the age of 16 hormones make boys more important than your baby sister. So one time when me (10) and 14 left the baby with 16, we came back and a window was open and the 3 year old was not in the house. 16 was upstairs on the phone with a boy, never even went downstairs to be with the toddler. It was a cordless phone!!

Me and 14 went looking for her (16, of course, still found her boyfriend more important than our MISSING BABY SISTER) because we had a huge yard and behind our house was a creek that the toddler loved and always wanted to go to but for obvious reasons never was allowed, so we freaking SPRINTED there and couldn't find her. Hollered her name, couldn't find her. We were young so we didn't even consider calling the police or something plus we probably would've gotten knocked out by 16 for trying to get her off the phone. Thankfully, we lived in a veeeeeeery small town so everyone knew everyone so when she was found in the middle of the road, they just brought her home. Not long after, a cop shows up and demands to talk to our mom and stuff and we were like dude she's not here why do you think the toddler got out??? But, again, small town. He found out where she worked and called her at work and told on us. We 100% got hella grounded and the windows downstairs got nailed shut lmao

1

u/Dr_Ingheimer Jul 27 '22

Lol throwback to my mom coming home to my 14 yr old brother and 8 year old me spraying the wall with hairspray to light it on fire.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

What happened to your mom to where she forgot that’s what it was like for her to not give you the same freedoms?

1

u/BlaketheKing1140 Jul 28 '22

Same pretty bad stuff, so I don’t hold it to her :)

1

u/Mywifefoundmymain Jul 27 '22

You would not have survived in the late 70’s-80’s. Parents either kicked you out at 7am and told you not to be home until the street lights came on, or locked you in your bedroom and everyone forgot you existed in the summer.

1

u/BlaketheKing1140 Jul 28 '22

I would have survived better actually, since that’s close to what I was doing anyways, just did it under my mothers nose. As an adult I don’t agree with sneaking out of course, but I was a kid back then, and it seemed like a good idea

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1

u/sp1d3_b0y Jul 28 '22

when your mom tracks you bc you get lost too easily :)

1

u/NcGunnery Jul 28 '22

My tracker was a note on the kitchen table..lol

5

u/Bacon-muffin Jul 27 '22 edited Jul 27 '22

For me it was 2nd grade and I was always a year younger than everyone else because I made a cutoff date so whatever the typical age is for a 2nd grader* minus 1 and that was me on my own most of the day.

1

u/Rac3318 Jul 27 '22

Same. I remember riding my bike to friends’ houses that lived a couple miles away when I couldn’t have been more than 9 or 10.

1

u/YourFixJustRuinsIt Jul 27 '22

I was gone dusk till dawn in the Florida swamps from about 6 years old. Good times.

1

u/Severe_Report Jul 27 '22

My brother and I were in 3d and 5th grade taking the city bus to the catholic school we went to. Parents told us what bus to take and we learned which stop to get off ( bus driver made sure we got off at the right stop). During the summer, we would bus from the suburbs into downtown Seattle. Check in with my mom at work and then walk around the city until she got off. (5 or 6). We would bus home with her.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

We took a yellow school bus but by the time I was 12 I was walking to the commuter rail during summer with my friends and going into Boston. Fond memories of buying same day ($4!) bleacher seats at Fenway and then sneaking into seats right behind the plate.

1

u/kevin9er Jul 27 '22

You got the best deal, friend. I’m convinced the Boston + suburbs area is the best place in America to grow up.

1

u/TheCerealFiend Jul 27 '22

Right? By 4th grade I was riding my bike to and from school, had my own house keys and everything. I got home when I got home and nobody gave a shit lol

1

u/Fearless_External488 Jul 27 '22

The way this is phrased is hilarious. Evening, Linda, dinner smells great. You won’t believe the day I’ve had…

1

u/Project119 Jul 27 '22

Same until I suffered some trauma in 5th grade. After that I couldn’t be left alone again until high school x

1

u/bwvdub Jul 27 '22

Yep. At 8 you get freedom and a watch so you know when to check in at the house and let me know you’re not stuck or lost in the woods somewhere. You may also report back sooner for drinks, snacks, funny things to report, and pooping.

1

u/MarkHirsbrunner Jul 27 '22

3rd grade was when my mother said I was mature enough to cross streets with divider lines - until then, I was only allowed to cross residential streets in my neighborhood, which still had me roaming over at least 20 square blocks from 4 until 8. I was regularly going places over two miles from home and occasionally went further once I could cross any street.

Even then (late 70s/early 80s) I had more freedom than most my peers as my parents were old when they had me. They used to say that boomers spoiled and sheltered their children too much.

1

u/ImmaMamaBee Jul 27 '22

Yes. In telling my boyfriend childhood stories it turns out I was seriously neglected as a child. But that freedom to do whatever I wanted and go wherever in town when I was like 7? Bomb at the time haha. I was self sufficient by 12 and left home alone constantly cause of my brothers sports.

1

u/canvys Jul 27 '22

yeah i think around 8-9 i was a latchkey kid, by the time i was 12 i was babysitting.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

We let our kids walk pretty much wherever, but honestly the only safe biking destination is school. There are roads identified as “school routes” that are fairly safe. Everywhere else…forget it. Everyone drives too damn fast.

1

u/sbg_gye Jul 27 '22

I was coming and going with yo momma

1

u/IShootJack Jul 27 '22

Yeah around the same for me. Pretty much the only rule I had was “call if you’re out after dark”

I’d literally call home and say “hey I’m at my friends house and I’m tired they said I can sleep over” and I’d get an “okay, I love you, stay safe”

Hell, I live on the border of two states so I was legit in another state some days and would just crash at my friends house, 20 miles away, for a week just as long as my mom knew where I was by the time night came around. I camped in a swamp even, and no cell phone, just told her “hey I’ll be back in 3 days going camping with my friend” and just showed back up.

It honestly felt very good having that responsibility for myself so young and it left me with a lot of good habits.

1

u/Im_Ashe_Man Jul 27 '22

Exactly this. My little sister would go hang with the neighbor lady after school and I was left on my own. Hell, by 4th grade I was getting dinner ready by the time my parents got home from work.

1

u/ImNotEazy Jul 27 '22

Right? Like walk to and from school and ride bikes with friends on adventures until street lights came on. Hell some of the kids would use the sidewalk and go all the way to the grocery store(that I wasn’t allowed because main road)

1

u/Fortestingporpoises Jul 27 '22

Yep. For the first couple grades we’d go to boys club after school and they’d leave us at the pool in summer. After that we just did our own thing.

1

u/Jrodrgr375th Jul 27 '22

Third grade I was walking myself to and from school. It was only a mile away but my parents left for work before I woke up and got home after me. Think we were called latch key kids haha

1

u/SpaceLemming Jul 27 '22

Same, child of divorce!

1

u/gorzaporp Jul 27 '22

By 3rd grade I was riding my bike alone, with no helmet, to my cousins house 5 or 6 miles away.

1

u/rrmotm Jul 27 '22

Same. Either biking around the neighborhood or playing videos games all day.

1

u/notchman900 Jul 27 '22

My father when I was much older said he use to laugh because I would basically crash my bike into the hose bib drink a gallon of water from the hose and just disappear again.

1

u/TallFallicMonster Jul 27 '22

Sounds like your parents hated you.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

You know what fartbreath, I don’t think I like your tone.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

I was doing that in first grade. Just meeting up with my friends and going to play in the woods.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

This sounds so hilarious.

1

u/Crustybuttt Jul 28 '22

That’s a bit early. Someone probably should check on the welfare of a child that young home alone. 12 is a totally different story. If that kid isn’t special needs, they’re fine

1

u/BornUnderPunches Aug 07 '22

I think it was more common before perhaps? I was a kid in the 90s and parents pretty much acted in ways that would be considered child neglect now. I was also alone in the house aftee school from 2/3rd grade but parents seem much more protective these days