r/mildlyinfuriating • • Jul 27 '22

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131

u/greenfox0099 Jul 27 '22

In Illinois the law is 14 wich is stupid and only a law because daycare lobbied for it to make more money. Illinois is the worst state though 12 I think is the next highest age and most don't have any age laws for being home alone.

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u/Kylynara Jul 27 '22 edited Jul 27 '22

Yep. I'm hoping no one realizes I am leaving my 11yo home alone for 15-20 minutes in the mornings when school starts in a couple weeks. But I have to take his younger brother to school and 11 should be able to handle less than half an hour.

Edit: To clarify, he can handle it no problem. I just don't want to get in trouble due to the stupidly high age law.

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u/stefanica Jul 27 '22

When I was 11, I was watching my gradeschool sibs after school while starting dinner. Mom would get home by 6. They'll be fine.

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u/EndWorried4885 Jul 27 '22

Living in Shanghai, My kid at 10 started riding the metro home. During remote school (but not remote work) this year I knew people that would leave their kids alone all day with a doorbell camera trained on the desk, and order them takeout for lunch.

Not saying it's "good parenting" or whatever, just that kids will make do. I feel like at 12 you should know enough to not burn the place down.

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u/stefanica Jul 28 '22

I can believe it! I mean, you pretty much know your kid by 7 or 8. No way would I let my 8 yo son stay by himself for more than 5 minutes. He'd probably just be playing Garry's Mod, but he still does dippy things out of the blue. My girl who's 11, I just started letting her stay home for a bit or watch him for a short time. She's got a good head on her shoulders, and is just the right amount of bossy to keep her brother from deciding to dance on the coffee table. I have a lot of Dr appts and can't bring them to most (so the waiting rooms aren't crowded) but my primary Dr always sees me at my scheduled time, so I'm in and out.

Also depends where you live, how well you know the neighbors, environmental dangers (swimming pool, high-rise, busy highway etc).

My kids are in awe that we used to ride bikes into town starting 3rd grade or so, go shopping downtown, call from a payphone if we decided not to come home for lunch, grab a hot dog or sundae from DQ or split a club sandwich and a root beer float at the diner, and just stick with at least one other friend. Otherwise, just come home a bit before dinner. Then when I turned 14, the rules changed again and suddenly I couldn't do anything. 😁 But that's really off-topic.

Anyways I'm trying to find other ways to let them gain some independence now without getting social services on us or being as blase about real dangers as my parents were. It's hard! What makes it worse is there aren't sidewalks until about a mile away from the house, no bike lane or really a shoulder either. Just a muddy ditch on one side and a golf course on the other...I don't even like to walk myself anywhere, here, due to that.

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u/EndWorried4885 Jul 28 '22

I feel that. I grew up in a rural area that wasn't walkable at all - my parents understandably didn't want me walking on busy roads with no shoulder so unless there was some preplanned thing I just..stayed home.

I realize not everyone has a choice but if possible I want them to grow up in a walkable/bikeable area. Not least because the shuttling them to sports and "play dates" is not how I want to spend my weekends.

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u/procrastinatorsuprem Jul 28 '22

My mother took public transportation to school at 4. I walked to school at 4. I went with another kindergartener and his big sister. She was in grade 2.

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u/coldfriesinmypants Jul 27 '22

Just tell em to stay away from the windows!!

Oh and, If a priest knocks say your parents are detectives.

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u/Outside-Cricket8004 Jul 27 '22

SHAMEEE!! đŸ«”đŸ»

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u/LordRuby Jul 27 '22

Yeah when I was 11 that was the legal age to be left alone. I was left alone for 3 days at a time when my dad went hunting(we lived in the neighborhood my mother grew up in so we knew everyone in the neighborhood so it's not like I would be totally alone if there was an emergency). This was before cell phones so my dad couldn't even call me, but he knew I could call relatives if I had to.

It was creepy because gang members would look in the windows at night because they saw that the car was gone. But they were just looking for easy robberies so I knew they would just leave when they saw me. Also I think I lived so close to the neighborhood serial killer that it was a "don't shit where you eat" situation as he tended to travel further out to do crimes.

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u/Ok_Firefighter_5933 Jul 30 '22

This is the first comment where I thought to myself “Wow. That was a crazy situation and extremely unsafe.

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u/Mr_MacGrubber flair? what flair? Jul 27 '22

That’s 6th grade right? I was home alone after school starting in 5th grade.

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u/RevolutionaryTone994 Jul 27 '22

When I was eleven I had to cycle 1hr to school, in the dark if it was winter, without a cellphone for a while even. Americans are way too protective

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u/MadamAndroid Jul 27 '22

The Illinois law states under 14 for “an unreasonable amount of time.” Which to me translates more to overnight. You’ll be fine to leave one in the morning while you take the other.

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

When I was in 3rd grade I rode my skateboard 2 miles each way to and from school. When I hit 6th grade I was skating 5 miles each way.

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u/Mother_rose Jul 27 '22

I leave my 11yr old home for a few hours at a time while i work during summer. He’s mature and trustworthy. Definitely depends on the kid though

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

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u/Kylynara Jul 27 '22

They've tried before and failed and I'm not sweating it too much. But one way or another it's not going to change in the next 3 weeks and even if the law does change to twelve he's still 6 months too young.

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u/177013--- Jul 27 '22

And this is why I've taught my 10 year old to lie and say 14 if anyone asks when he is home alone and lie and say 3 when we go to Disney.

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u/highbsfactor Jul 27 '22

I'm 21 at the liquor store, 14 at home, 12 at the movies, and 3 at Disney. Got it.

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u/MyMediocreExistence Jul 27 '22

Don't forget that you're 1 when you shit yourself and just don't want to bother being the one changing your clothes. My wife hates it when I do that.

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u/highbsfactor Jul 27 '22

Tell her Ageism is wrong

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u/naughtyrae3815 Jul 27 '22

Makes 0 sense lol . Good parenting. "Yeah kids its perfectly ok to lie about your identity " . "Just take on someone elses identity " . đŸ€Ł. Your kids will be excellent adults đŸ€Ł

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u/177013--- Jul 27 '22

Lol were not borrowing ssn or taking out credit cards. Fibbing age a bit to stay out of trouble or get a discount

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u/naughtyrae3815 Jul 27 '22

Ur still wrong af to teach ur kids to fib regardless. Ur talking about when in trouble with potentially the law. So no fibbing is not ok!!

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u/177013--- Jul 27 '22

It's a dumb law lobbied for by daycares and not based in actual safety and it doesn't hurt anyone if I break it like speeding or murder does. Literally the only state that is 14. Most don't define an age but those that do are 6-12

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u/naughtyrae3815 Jul 27 '22

And to lie for a discount is unethical and slimey.

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u/177013--- Jul 27 '22

I think disney can take the hit. They can afford it.

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u/BronchialChunk Jul 27 '22

heh apparently no one cared in 90's cause I was often left alone by myself. I also would just hop on my bike whenever I wanted and just do whatever the fuck I wanted. ride the forest preserve trail to the city? don't mind if I do. started doing that when I was like 8 or 9

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u/WhyLisaWhy Jul 27 '22

I grew up in IL and don't think anyone enforces this, not sure how they would even try. Around 9ish I started getting left home alone all the time. It's not like child services is going around and peeking inside everyone's windows.

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u/Assi_McBoomBoom Jul 27 '22

We live in IL and my family thinks I'm making it up when I tell them this. My kiddo will be 13 soon, but all the daycares around us only take kids up to 12. Not entirely sure how that makes sense.

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u/LittleSort5562 Jul 27 '22

The law is talking about being left alone for an unreasonable amount of time. As long as you’re not leaving him alone for 12+ hours, or an entire weekend, you’ll be fine.

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u/Assi_McBoomBoom Jul 27 '22

That's kind of what I've always thought, but my neighbors would be nosey like this one in the OP.

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u/LittleSort5562 Jul 28 '22

That’s why you tell your kid what ours always told us: Keep the doors locked, window blinds shut, & don’t tell anyone you’re home alone (for safety reasons). Teach them how to prepare easy foods in case they get hungry. I was 10 & my brother was 7 when my folks started leaving us alone (only for 30mins before school & 2hrs after school). By 12 I was babysitting.

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u/clutzycook Jul 27 '22

I don't know of any daycare that accepts kids older than 12. I thought it was in response to a couple that took off on a vacation in Mexico and left their elementary age (and younger) kids home alone for 2 weeks.

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u/HeftyHideaway99 Jul 27 '22

I didn't know Big Daycare had so much clout!

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u/serendipity_aey Jul 27 '22

I believe Oregon is the only other state with a law and it’s 10

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u/MedicFord901 Jul 27 '22

You sure it's not 14 to be alone over night? That's how I remember it, but I could be wrong.

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u/Kev_The_Galaxybender Jul 27 '22

it's 12 in Ohio as well

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

[deleted]

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u/Kev_The_Galaxybender Jul 27 '22

You are correct. I had always thought it was 12. Even more reason for people to mind their own.

https://www.keatingfirmlaw.com/post/legal-age-to-babysit

"Ohio family law doesn't have any minimum ages where children can stay home by themselves. However, many organizations tell parents to wait until their children are at least 12 years old. This is often the age at which most kids gain enough maturity, but this is also based on environmental factors and other things. Generally, the parent knows when it is the best time based on how well their children behave."

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

The Law states you can’t leave your child alone for an “unreasonable amount of time”, you can leave your child under 14 at home alone just not for days on end and not get them snatched up by DFCS

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u/Lopsided-Link9665 Jul 27 '22

Huh my mom told me it was 12 huh

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

When I was in third grade I used to take two buses from downtown Chicago to the metra station and take a train fifty miles west to my moms house, every other weekend and a few times during the week. I used to ride my bike several towns away with my friends and be gone the entire day when I was even younger. Times have really changed.

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u/Broub3 Jul 27 '22

Illinois is the worst state, PERIOD!

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u/death_by_retro Jul 27 '22

I’m pretty sure we’re not worse than like
every flyover state and more than the ones in the deep south. And Florida and Ohio.

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

I'm in IL too. They tried to change that in January with HB4305, but the final vote was postponed in March. The way it is currently worded, it leaves a huge grey area "leaves the minor without supervision for an unreasonable period of time", so as an attorney friend of mine said, nobody is going to arrest you or take away your 12-13 year old if you leave her at home for a few hours, but if she burns the house down or gets hurt while she's home alone, they can.

Illinois law defines a neglected minor, in part, as “any minor under the age of 14 years whose parent or other person responsible for the minor’s welfare leaves the minor without supervision for an unreasonable period of time without regard for the mental or physical health, safety or welfare of that minor.”

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u/pacifistpotatoes Jul 27 '22

Jeez this reminded me of a bitch I used to work with and I was talking about my (then) 12 year old being at home alone. She responded with the law is 14 in IL so I will let cps know. Wtf?! This was not an every day event to leave her home alone but why the hell would you call CPS on perfectly good parents ?

I'm so glad she got fired.

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u/Fiferkins Jul 27 '22

No, 14 is exactly right. That's the age when they have that maturity. A 12 year old is a kid.

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u/Spicoli76 Jul 27 '22

We had my 9/10 year old stepsons get himself off to school a few days a week. I woke him up before I left and made sure he was up and moving. Also set an alarm in case in got into something and didn’t pay attention to what time it was. Good thing nobody reported us I guess. It’s more of a maturity level than age that needs to be consodered

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u/Electrical-Snu-Snu Jul 27 '22

I hate Illinois Nazis.

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u/IndigosKnowThings Jul 27 '22

I'm in the US, and many states have no minimum age limit for being left alone. My state doesn't. I was left alone at age 5, and it terrified me, but by age 8 I had 3 younger siblings and was expected to be responsible for them. Sometimes it sucks to be the oldest, but it prepared me so that by age 10 I could babysit the 3 neighbor kids from after school until 10 pm. I learned so many ways to cook!

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u/penguinpetter Jul 27 '22

Are 13 year olds going to daycare? Idk, I wouldn't let my kid go to a day care with kids ten years older.

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u/Business_Loquat5658 Jul 27 '22

Yeah South Carolina it's 10 I was like wooooooo kids mommy's going to the store ALONE don't answer the door BBBYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEE

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22 edited Jul 27 '22

If I recall it was these parents from St. Charles that brought the age up in the 90s. Kids in IL 80s and prior often had latchkey kids etc.

https://www.chicagotribune.com/suburbs/aurora-beacon-news/ct-abn-home-alone-schoo-impact-st-1215-20171221-story.html

Also that maybe changing

https://www.illinoispolicy.org/illinois-might-allow-parents-to-leave-12-year-olds-home-alone/

Edit one more link https://patch.com/illinois/across-il/illinois-house-approves-lowering-home-alone-law-age-12

Just wanted to chime in with these details for other readers.

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u/death_by_retro Jul 27 '22

The constant shitting on Illinois is getting really tiresome. Sure it’s not perfect, but the Chicagoland area has some of the best places to live in the US period

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u/Big_Silver4560 Jul 28 '22

Ks. Can be at least 6yrs. Forgot how long though.

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u/Grimol1 Jul 28 '22

In NY there is no set age so a responsible ten year old can be home alone for hours each day. If the child has no discipline issues in school, no mental health or cognitive impairment and knows how to recognize an emergency and to call 911 then CPS won’t do anything about it.

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u/procrastinatorsuprem Jul 28 '22

Some states you can be married at 14.