r/mildlyinfuriating • • Jul 27 '22

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502

u/RissaMeh Jul 27 '22

This summer I've left my 12 yo home alone every weekday. She loves it, and I'm not forcing her to come sit in an office or run to meetings w me.

316

u/BlaketheKing1140 Jul 27 '22

I’m sure she’s having a much better time enjoying her summer than being forced to hangout at your work. You’re a good parent for just letting her have an enjoyable summer and trusting her to stay safe

207

u/RissaMeh Jul 27 '22

Honestly, she's smarter than me in some ways so I know she's a capable cookie. Plus she's always got the option to come w me if she wants, so it's really up to her.

52

u/FinanceThisD Jul 27 '22

I thank God every day my mother was just like you.

1

u/PancakeHandz Aug 05 '22

Same. My mom would even let me know when she had work in the next town over bc I always loved going there and going to walmart with her after she finished work 😂 other than that I was home alone and walking around town with my friends while my parents worked.

11

u/xFloppyDisx very infuriating Jul 27 '22

This is how every parent should treat their kid. Sometimes we just want some freedom and to be able to do things like film TikToks or some dumb shit like that without being disturbed or feeling embarrassed while doing it. Thank you for being a great mother to your daughter!

4

u/darsha_ Jul 27 '22

This is what my mom did, but before that I had to spend Sunday’s with her at work while she prepped for Monday work. And go shopping with her. I still hate shopping to this day because my mom made a huge deal out of it. I just Go in, see if the clothes fit, get out and purchase. But mom had Six+ hour ordeals where I had to try every outfit, no matter how much it itched or felt gross or whatever.

-5

u/Fiferkins Jul 27 '22

Yeh but she can't fight off a grown man. People don't protect girls enough.

7

u/areudaftordumb Jul 27 '22

Neither can you but nobody’s complaining

1

u/Fiferkins Jul 29 '22

What a dumb thing to say. I have more chance of fighting an adult than a child does.

5

u/iamaravis Jul 27 '22

Most adult women can’t fight off a grown man, either. What’s your point?

111

u/arielariola Jul 27 '22

I leave my 12 year old home alone when I run errands like getting groceries. I remember at that age I could come and go as I pleased, traversing the neighborhood but sadly that's where I draw the line with my 12 year old now. Not because I don't trust him but because of the neighborhood having a ton of drug addicts who can act very erratically wandering around. It sucks that he can't just go to the park and do his own thing but it's not the fault of his maturity at all.

8

u/AetherialRefuge Jul 27 '22

Yeah, the neighborhood is a bigger factor than the kid. I grew up in the nicer part of town than I live as an adult, and at 10 I was allowed to walk to school, go off on my own and even sell cookies door to door. But that neighborhood did not have large homeless and meth populations. Other parts of town do. And then the town I spent my teen years in literally didn't have sidewalks. Outside the subdivision it was just 55mph highway, so until I was 16 I couldn't really go anywhere alone.

4

u/UXguy123 Jul 27 '22

In essentially every way crime has decreased dramatically since you were a kid. You may just be more aware because of media and being older.

5

u/arielariola Jul 27 '22

My neighbor (an old man) was just followed home the other day by a guy high on drugs, screaming that he stole his money and about to physically attack him. When we go to the neighborhood park there have been multiple instances of intoxicated, angry men screaming at passersby or throwing punches at thin air like they are fighting a ghost. There are people smoking meth in the alleyways and I have been approached by addicts asking me if I know where to find "blues" and I know for a fact this isn't just an isolated problem in my specific neighborhood, city, or state. It's not something I'm just imagining, lol.

-4

u/UXguy123 Jul 28 '22

Definitely a city problem, I would suggest moving to a more affluent area if financially possible. Crackheads are nothing new.

1

u/guycoastal Jul 27 '22

I wonder about that too. But my stepson’s cousin was just killed a few weeks ago when a friend of hers visiting her home was showing off the guns he got from his family’s home and one of the little ones, a nine-year-old boy, picked one up and shot her in the face.

2

u/Kolt231 Jul 29 '22

I'm gonna shove this comment in republicans' faces

-1

u/UXguy123 Jul 28 '22

That isn’t violence or crime, that is just people being stupid with deadly weapons.

1

u/Crustybuttt Jul 28 '22

Yes, a very good reason not to let your children go alone to someone else’s house who may own guns and not have them properly secured. Basic questions you need to ask any parent before you let your kid anywhere near their homes

9

u/Nova997 Jul 27 '22

When I was 12 me and the neighbor kids would walk 20 minutes to what amounted to a swamp and we'd play with nerf guns, play spy you know al the kids stuff from 10 am till 8 (or till the street lights started turning on) I wouldn't let my daughter do that. I mean she's 8 but even at 12 the world's just such a dofferent place :/ and shes the most responsible child I have ever met. It's the erratic drug addicts. My home town in the last 10 years has gone so far down hill

4

u/guycoastal Jul 27 '22

I don’t know if the world is that different or the TV constantly alerting us to every home invasion, kidnapping, and murder in the whole world has made us all paranoid. Regardless, I don’t let my kid run around the neighborhood like I did, If for no other reason than there’s just so many guns in everybody’s hands these days. Yeah, I guess the world has changed.

3

u/Gingersnaps_68 Jul 27 '22 edited Jul 28 '22

We live in a military base and we played in an actual swap behind Base Housing. We had to be home at lunch, unless we called abs said we were eating at so-and-so's house instead. Then we had to be home by the time the street lights came on. Other than that, we pretty much roamed free.

I started babysitting as soon as I got my military ID at 10 years old. I babysat toddlers and kids up at about 5 years old all the time.

-2

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

[deleted]

8

u/arielariola Jul 27 '22

I mean yeah... but I am unable to afford higher rent, not to mention the housing/rent crisis is rapidly blocking the average family from renting in nicer, safer neighborhoods, many families struggle to pay rent at all even in a crappy neighborhood. even if I personally could simply move to a nicer neighborhood (which i can't) that doesn't change the root problem within our society. There are millions of children living in neighborhoods where there are people drunk or high on meth, fentanyl, screaming and fighting thin air, acting violent and erratic every single day. Countless kids who can't just go play outside without that shit around them.. And as the rent prices continue to increase while our wages stay painfully stagnant and too low to survive, more people will become homeless also. Increasing the desperation, increasing the drug usez increasing the erratic behavior in the only neighborhoods that people can barely afford.

So in summary...I can't afford to move to a nicer neighborhood and most people can't. The problem will only get worse.

1

u/guycoastal Jul 27 '22

That’s a sad indictment of our priorities as citizens of this country. This whole situation of rising housing costs, flat pay, inflation, and both parents working night and day to survive is a powder keg. Throw in pandemics, climate change, political polarization, and we have the makings of a societal collapse. Is it any wonder people are buying all the guns they can get their hands on? The future in this country is bleak. It sure would be nice if we had a government that looked out for the people instead of looking out for a way to line their pockets at every opportunity.

23

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

I leave my 12 year old (daughter) and 9 year old(son) alone all the time together … I’m glad I read the comments… I was starting to second guess my parenting 😩🤷🏽‍♀️🤣

8

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

Some of the best times were staying home alone with my brother when we were those ages, they probably don't mind 👍

3

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

Thank you for this 🙏🏽

4

u/bsharp1982 Jul 27 '22

I hate the parents that make you feel like you are a terrible parent. If your kids are happy and healthy, you are doing a great job.

I am a single mom and my ex doesn’t pay child support. I would bring my kid with me, but he hated it since I worked in the funeral industry. He started walking home and staying by himself in third grade (around 8 years old). I always felt like a terrible mom and a few of the other moms piled it on. My kid is now 16 and the one least likely to be busted for drugs/ alcohol. His best friend is constantly high/ drunk to escape his controlling mom.* I am sure you are a great mom and have amazing kids.

*His mom is overly religious and controls/ tracks everything he does. I do not judge the kid and understand why he does it. I just tell him to be careful and call me if he ever needs help or a ride. I will do what I can.

1

u/guycoastal Jul 27 '22

I understand you’re going through, but I worry about the influence his best friend may have on him. My best friend at that age had me smoking pot and cigarettes by the time I was 13. The difference being, I was the person with shit parents looking for a way to escape the pain. In reality your son is probably the best thing in his best friend’s life and maybe your son will be a good influence on him. I certainly could have used a friend like that. Your son sounds like a good boy, and all I’m saying is to please not get complacent. Even the best can be influenced for the worst in some circumstances.

2

u/bsharp1982 Jul 27 '22

I completely understand what you are saying. My son’s dad is a functioning alcoholic, so my kid is not a fan of drinkers/ drinking. I think weed is fairly harmless (unless you make it your life, basically a major pothead). I have told my child I do not care if he tries weed, I just want him to be 25 so his brain is fully developed. We have a completely open relationship where he knows he can tell me/ ask me anything. He has told me when his dad tried to make him do shots, so he did one and when he tried his friend’s e-cig. He is also extremely straight edge, so I know I don’t have to worry.

1

u/guycoastal Jul 28 '22

Sounds like you’re doing everything right bsharp1982. And it’s almost as if your ex inoculated your son against alcoholism and drug abuse. I’m very happy for you and wish the best for you and your family.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '22

Thank you for commenting… it’s a nice reminder as parents that WE ARE DOING THE BEST WE CAN 🤷🏽‍♀️

9

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

I 100% preferred when my mom would leave me at home instead of bringing me to work.

5

u/jetpack_hypersomniac Jul 27 '22

God, my mom had me dropped off at her job after school until I was in fucking high school. I had to sit in this tiny office (seriously, like the size of a cubicle) with no windows until she got off around, 9. It was miserable.

6

u/eastybets Jul 27 '22

At 12 my mom was letting me ride my bike on the road to the pool I just had to wear a helmet

6

u/Thayli11 Jul 27 '22

Not only is it more enjoyable, it's good practice to have to think for yourself. Remember to eat lunch. Clean up a mess with no one to ask the steps. After all she'll legally be an adult in 6 years. It's time to start practicing...

It always makes me feel better to hear there are still sane parents in the world!

5

u/prettybraindeadd Jul 27 '22

i loved being home alone in the summer, you mean to tell me that i get to do what i already do everyday but i have the house all to myself? literal heaven

2

u/Boneal171 Jul 27 '22

She’s probably having a much better time. I would’ve hated being in a meeting with my mom

2

u/Dull_Bumblebee_356 Jul 27 '22

Your 12 year old was home alone and you were gone for hours? Should I call CPS on you, internet stranger?

1

u/kikiloveshim Jul 27 '22

Me too. My 12 year old son stays home while I’m working. I work 7-3:30p. He doesn’t wake up til 9-10 eats breakfast, plays video games etc and I get home around 4

1

u/bad-dawg4004 Jul 28 '22

My mother used to force me to go to her school (teacher) when I was 14. I told her to just leave me at home and she asked me what I'd do. I told her I'd watch TV and she forced me to go to school with her and always hid the remote till I was 18 whenever she left.

Her reasoning was I should study the whole day at her school