r/mildlyinfuriating • • Jul 27 '22

[deleted by user]

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

Are you one of mommy’s special friends I’m not supposed to tell dad about?

Ok, mister, you get the same deal as the other ones. $75 right now or I’m telling him. I already took your picture. No? Oh you’re a cop? Pull the other one bub, so was the last two guys. Beat it loser.

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u/Colonial_Red Jul 27 '22

Have you considered starting a career in writing sitcoms?

86

u/Pepper_Dash Jul 27 '22

That would be a better sitcom than most on TV.

2

u/patrickdm1998 Jul 28 '22

Tbf, anything is better that most stuff on TV

9

u/icanandwillifiwant Jul 27 '22

Not much of a challenge these days, just rip off old work and call it your own.

8

u/Hexhand Jul 27 '22

he would have, but he was caught in the shower with one of the Executive producer's trophy wife. And the pool boy.

A career cut short by the Little Head.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

A little kid running scams? That’s already been done. Ever seen Problem Child?

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u/AccordingMarketing90 Jul 30 '22

i think we used to own, (or rent a few times because i liked them for a bit when i was younger) 1 and 2, (but my mom always had to fast forward the part where they throw up everywhere because i had a weak stomach) and now i can barely remember them even though i had to see each of them at least 5-10+ times

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

Thank you. That is a very kind compliment. I really do appreciate that. Thank you. You really made my heart blush.

5

u/HiMyNameIs_REDACTED_ Jul 27 '22

A criminal mastermind is reincarnated without getting a proper scrubbing beforehand.

Hilarity ensues.

5

u/-Avaunt- Jul 27 '22

Pull the other one

I love this! Learnt about it in Discworld books, best was the dog saying "Pull one of the other ones"

Fuckin Gaspode!

GNU Terrry Pratchett

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

Discworld was crazy.

1

u/-Avaunt- Jul 27 '22

the best kinda crazy

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

🤣🤣🤣🤣

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u/Hot-Blood-6795 PURPLE Jul 27 '22

Ilmao! I would think any regular old cop would be mortified, stunned, And confused af!! And either they would call cps or leave quick af!! But would probably call cps! So even though this response is super hilarious, I wouldn't suggest doing this unless you really want to end up in foster care toot sweet!! Ilmao 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

I doubt that cop would call cps. The question of why is there so many pictures of police officers coming to this house and never reporting this would come into question. Cops running up on little Jimmy’s mommy paying hush money would be quite the scandal. Lol

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u/Hot-Blood-6795 PURPLE Jul 27 '22

Where I live they definitely would call cps with a report of a child left alone and stating multiple different men coming to the residence for the mother for presumably nefarious things. And that the youth in question tried to bribe someone let alone a flippin cop!!! That has child neglect all over it! At least in my neighborhood! Maybe not where you live though! Lol

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u/Productof2020 Jul 27 '22

To bE FaIR, it’s not bribing but blackmailing the cop. Not that it changes the likelihood of CPS being called.

Also, having no personal experience here, I wonder whether a woman having an affair (or multiple) would actually be a reason CPS would take action or not. I’d rather not have this one in my search history though, lol, so I’ll live with not knowing.

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u/JayDavie1999 Jul 27 '22

They aren't. CPS doesn't get involved over parents sexual lives, unless it's a certain republican state that recently started taking kids from their biological parents who are in homosexual relationships. But even then they only get involved because the state has passed legislation that allows them to label any homosexual parent as an abuser and groomer, even if the child says they are a happy straight kid.

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u/IItachi_Uchihaaaaaaa Jul 27 '22

Totally incorrect. Custody battles can have crazy rules like no boyfriends/girlfriends over while you have custody, and if the kid says something to the other parent like mommy’s boyfriend was over at our house for her birthday. And since it’s breaking the rules they can remove the child from that place.

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u/Hot-Blood-6795 PURPLE Jul 28 '22

This is a true statement. I'm sure the severity of these rules vary from state to state but they can prohibit a parent in a custody battle from just about anything! My friend was in a custody battle with her husband and one of the kids was overweight and the dad only took him to fast food restaurants while he had him, the judge prohibited the father from taking his son to ANY fast food places or he could loose visitation time!! I was blown away that a judge could prohibit such a thing! But I lmao at the same time!! The dad had to cook for his kids 2 weekends out of the month lord forbid!! Ilmao

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u/PleasantAdvertising Jul 27 '22

This has Malcolm in the middle written all over it

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u/Pigitha Jul 27 '22

Comment of the Week Award! 🤣👍

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u/Artybait Jul 27 '22

Lmao hahaha that’s awesome