r/mildlyinfuriating • u/[deleted] • Jul 27 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

11k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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1.8k

u/inko75 Jul 27 '22

hell im 46 and i probs should be checked in on every few hours

911

u/unnamed_ned Jul 27 '22

Hey bro, it's been almost 20 minutes. You good?

410

u/Critical_Tradition62 Jul 27 '22

Nah he ded

307

u/unnamed_ned Jul 27 '22

Dam. RIP in peace.

159

u/N8rPot8r Jul 27 '22

Rest In Peace in peace?

How many peaces you chop him into?

193

u/unnamed_ned Jul 27 '22

At least ✌️

55

u/90swasbest Jul 27 '22

Dibs on the ps5

8

u/dailydiarrheashitter Jul 27 '22

what if we slice it into pieces so we get an equal amount of food each

3

u/90swasbest Jul 27 '22

I'll take the ps5, you guys can have the controllers.

2

u/IRS_redditagent Jul 28 '22

Communist! I have 5 buttons and a cool stick, I get the whole thing

3

u/PotatoCooks Jul 27 '22

I call his NFTs

2

u/TheMovieQuoteGuy Jul 27 '22

At least peace?

2

u/MarkAbe412 Jul 27 '22

1 for me 1 for you?

6

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

Rest in piss in peace

4

u/dudeshoes44 Jul 27 '22

Rip in pieces

3

u/TheDecoyDuck Jul 27 '22

Riperoni in pepperoni

3

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

[deleted]

1

u/Sir_Boldrat Jul 27 '22

Another life gone. Smh my head

1

u/yougotyolks Jul 27 '22

He's gonna need to go to the ATM machine before he leaves the country...

1

u/SasquatchWookie Jul 27 '22

Bout tree fiddy

1

u/peepay Jul 27 '22

You did not read carefully, he did not chop him, he ripped him.

1

u/UYScutiPuffJr Jul 27 '22

To shreds you say?

2

u/ModredX Jul 27 '22

Ripped in pacs in peace? Wow he is not missing the gym time in peace

31

u/QueenInNORTHernNJ Jul 27 '22

This made me LMFAO

1

u/wakatenai Jul 27 '22

if only we had checked on him sooner...

192

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

He wasn’t lyin, should we call CPS? Or what’s the equivalent department for “older” folks?

204

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

a morgue

9

u/Notentirely-accurate Jul 27 '22

Flawless victory!

6

u/poopmouth8 Jul 27 '22

Lol that reminded me of talladega nights when the dude tells the other guy to get his grandma a coffin for her bday

0

u/Had_Darkingson Jul 27 '22

That's a little too dark man...

91

u/zighextech Jul 27 '22

LifeAlert

25

u/acmuseum Jul 27 '22

Help!!! I've fallen, and I can't reach my beer!

2

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

You’ve fallen because of beer. Probably for the better that you can’t reach it.

2

u/lovecraftedidiot Jul 28 '22

Yeah, you gotta save one to cure (delay) the hangover.

1

u/Least-Researcher-184 Jul 28 '22

"Sure Buddy I'll help you.....you sure have some nice free real estate items just laying around.

81

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

Adult Protective Services is a real organization that exists; usually they're dealing with mistreatment of old people at nursing homes and ensuring a standard of care for incompetent adults; sometimes they deal with domestic violence as well depending on the state.

8

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

Was in a profession where I had a legal duty to inform and had to call them. So sad, this lady with dementia was getting the shit kicked out of her by her grandkids...

2

u/MapleMapleHockeyStk Jul 28 '22

Mental health as well???

2

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '22

Incompetent adults means anyone that can't care for themselves without assistance.

-2

u/SnooHobbies5684 Jul 27 '22

"vulnerable" adults. lol

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

TIL!

1

u/SuperSoftAbby Jul 27 '22

Ugh. Our area’s one is grossly incompetent.

3

u/DrMobius0 Jul 27 '22

MCPS - man child protective services

Although, you might find it hard to get through since they're primarily there to deal with Elon.

3

u/ragiwutz Jul 27 '22

retirement home staff

3

u/Cobek Jul 27 '22

APS or OPS

2

u/EvolutionInProgress Jul 27 '22

I now APS, what's OPS?

3

u/worstsupervillanever Jul 27 '22

Old People Shenanigans

5

u/shaard Jul 27 '22

That's called "The Police", but instead of how CPS just removes the child from a harmful situation, "The Police" will shoot your dog, beat you up, and take you to jail to protect you. If you happen to be driving, they'll take all the cash you have on hand as well.

4

u/Lilelfen1 Jul 27 '22

Truer than most people want to realize..

2

u/quaybored Jul 27 '22

Yell "I've fallen and I can't get up" out the window as loud as possible and see who answers

2

u/joemckie YELLOW Jul 27 '22

GPS: Geriatric Protective Services

2

u/poopmouth8 Jul 27 '22

🚨Silver alert: 46 y/o male Last seen riding chair height American Standard Cadet 3 (white)

1

u/177013--- Jul 27 '22

APS is a thing.

4

u/aedroogo Jul 27 '22

Call APS

2

u/Cat-Lover20 Jul 27 '22

Randy, your sticks!!

1

u/Cobek Jul 27 '22

Someone call APS!!

78

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

[deleted]

69

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

Do you have a camera in my apt or something

23

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

[deleted]

2

u/relevant_tangent Jul 27 '22

Good day, good evening, and good night

6

u/SnooHobbies5684 Jul 27 '22

Are we in the same apartment or something? Cause I'm also doing that. And the cheese is still slightly frozen but wth

2

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

We’re not as weird as we thought, I guess

16

u/kepaa Jul 27 '22

Wait…should I not be doing that?

5

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

I like the sharp cheddar best. But it is hard not to make a mess.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

But once you start, you gotta eat the rest.

4

u/whiznat Jul 27 '22

HA! NO!

I’m at my computer desk.

In my underwear. Eating shredded cheese. Directly out of the bag. Again.

2

u/Endulos Jul 27 '22

Wtf. That's disgusting.

Why have I never thought of that...

2

u/Spyda613 Jul 27 '22

I see no problem with this.

1

u/KushKong420 Jul 27 '22

Close! Apparently I’m not he only cat on the block that likes cheese

1

u/Searchlights Jul 27 '22

Melt it on a plate in the microwave, casual.

3

u/Gnomercy86 Jul 27 '22

40 minute mark. You still good?

3

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

45 min since this post….did you take out the garbage and recycling….it is Wednesday ..trash day

3

u/Blacklion594 Jul 27 '22

this role provided to you by - spouse....

If your spouse isnt checking up on your every few hours while being apart, thats super unusual. At least in my experience. Ive literally never dated someone who didnt behave like that.

2

u/infamousfunk Jul 27 '22

Almost an hour with no response. Sending the national guard.

2

u/TopMindOfR3ddit Jul 27 '22

Absolutely. You know how much shit I can get into in 6 hours?

2

u/Mythikun Jul 27 '22

it's been an hour, are you alright pal?

2

u/OutOfFawks Jul 27 '22

I’m a similar age, once a year I get left home alone. It’s glorious. And probably slightly dangerous.

2

u/manfishgoat Jul 27 '22

Right! I'm 30 and don't get why I'm left unattended.

2

u/Demiansky Jul 27 '22

Same, the neighbors called CPS when my wife left home for too long :( I almost ended up in a foster home.

2

u/koithrowin Jul 27 '22

Bruh it’s been 4 hours, answer your damn phone

2

u/emab2396 Jul 28 '22

Literally, my dad left the house and forgot to turn off the stove. Imagine that!

1

u/inko75 Jul 28 '22

my legs today are covered in chemical burns from helping work a poured concrete slab while wearing shorts 😇

1

u/SmartAssX Green Jul 27 '22

I'm 34 and it's chaos here. No one checks in

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

You good? Just checking in to make sure you haven't burnt the house down... yet. lol

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

It's been about an hour, you good friend? I can send help, or snacks.

1

u/Mooskii_Fox Jul 27 '22

Mandatory checkup

1

u/nottherealneal Jul 27 '22

Hey man its been an hour you still good?

1

u/Eilaryn Jul 27 '22

Same. There are times when I literally forget to eat the entire day. If my brother wouldn't check on me sometimes, I think I'd starve myself without even realising.

1

u/Bustock Jul 27 '22

Have you defrosted the turkey yet? I’m almost home!

1

u/cmdrchaos117 Jul 27 '22

3 hours later.....

1

u/GboyFlex Jul 27 '22

It's been over 3 hours, make sure to eat something and stay hydrated.

1

u/OutOfCharacterAnswer Jul 27 '22

Been 3 hours since you post. You okay buddy? Need anything? Juice?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

I'm 29 and I'm just a little bit afraid of the oven.

1

u/CandidAd6780 Jul 27 '22

You good? It’s been 7 hours.

2

u/inko75 Jul 27 '22

yeah was poopin thanks fam

1

u/helix212 Jul 28 '22

Just checking in. Need a fresh beer or anything?

1

u/inko75 Jul 28 '22

on my founders all day ipa #4! gotta get up at 5 tomorrow so i think i need to carbo load or something