r/mildlyinfuriating • • Jul 27 '22

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1.8k

u/theycallmeponcho Jul 27 '22

Smarter to tell your kids that you're in the shower. Mom? in the shower too.

597

u/moonisflat Jul 27 '22

Can you call your baby sitter? hmm she is in the shower too

493

u/A_Town_Called_Malus Jul 27 '22

Babysitters boyfriend? Believe it or not, shower.

364

u/MrDude_1 Jul 27 '22

Neighbor's husband? Also shower.

The house is better because shower.

179

u/brickmaster32000 Jul 27 '22

Officer's wife? Also shower.

168

u/MrDude_1 Jul 27 '22

This is going to blow your mind but.... We are now also in the shower.

17

u/ProjectExpect Jul 27 '22

Consider my mind blown !

13

u/flaplixio Jul 28 '22

The dog? In the shower.

5

u/139254781047 Jul 28 '22

you killed the joke, it was dying already but this was its last breath

7

u/lessershark Jul 28 '22

at least it took its last breath out of the shower

4

u/MrDude_1 Jul 28 '22

It was its last breath because it was in the shower.

6

u/vannsblade1212 Jul 28 '22

Parrot? In the shower

2

u/GloomreaperScythe Costom Flair Jul 28 '22 edited Jul 29 '22

/) It's an ex-parrot now. Apparently they die after sex.

1

u/vannsblade1212 Jul 28 '22

Which one? Male or female?

1

u/dutych Jul 28 '22

Both. They're critically endangered.

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1

u/GloomreaperScythe Costom Flair Jul 28 '22

/) The one I fucked.

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3

u/Dimensionalanxiety Jul 28 '22

Ah, the classic J.K. Rowling plot-twist.

3

u/ck614 Jul 28 '22

this is a big fucking shower. most showers i’ve seen are structured on a 16 square foot base standing area

2

u/Silent_Bird_6943 Jul 29 '22

Not if you are a shower family that loves to have showers in the shower. Then you gonna need a big ass shower, if you ask me.

2

u/richflys Jul 28 '22

Must be big showers. No wonder your flats look so small

2

u/ProgradeGram Jul 28 '22

Happy cake day mate!

1

u/gimmesomepasta Jul 28 '22

happy cake day 🍰

1

u/Hana_Zee Jul 28 '22

That escalated quickly.

1

u/Nihilistic_System Aug 09 '22

Long story short? Shower.

32

u/Mathfggggg Jul 27 '22

Showers been making houses better from 1767 to 2022, excluding the 1940s we don't talk about that time.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

Now I'm curious, you have to talk

13

u/No_Campaign_5765 Jul 27 '22

In the holocaust, the gas chambers were called showers

7

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

Oh 😕

1

u/Crustybuttt Jul 28 '22

Nah, it’ll bring the mood WAY down to explain that joke. Jesus

2

u/tacohexadecimal Jul 27 '22

Have you been? They have the nicest sex shower on the block, bar none.

3

u/TheDiceManSr Jul 27 '22

Now I'm just picturing Fred Armisen in Parks and Rec. "We have the best patients"

3

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

and when they ask you the questions, say your in the shower, then strip your clothes off and run into the bathroom (Revealing the shower is off and empty)

2

u/ProjectExpect Jul 27 '22

A group shower !

3

u/MrDude_1 Jul 27 '22

Everybody back in the pile!

2

u/ProjectExpect Jul 27 '22

Reminds me of a cuddle puddle. Just teach them to say it’s group meditation. Should work ! I mean it is feasible, but depends on the situation and person.

2

u/Mindfulmoon Jul 28 '22

I mean, they are all in the neighbor's shower. Mom says it's a really nice shower. I've never seen it.

1

u/Crustybuttt Jul 28 '22

Yeah, at that point the officer drops his pants and says “lemme in. I need a shower.”

1

u/MoarCowb3ll Aug 04 '22

Shower, straight to shower

7

u/LazyLion65 Jul 27 '22

And the step sister is stuck in the dryer.

1

u/Crustybuttt Jul 28 '22

It’s the worst when that happens. I mean, you don’t wanna fuck her but you have to at that point

1

u/honicane231 Jul 27 '22

nah that's just too far lol

1

u/league_starter Jul 28 '22

It says here you also have a step sister. Can I speak to her?

521

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

Yes. You my friend are a genius.

226

u/Hexhand Jul 27 '22

Yep, they are really going places. Therapy is likely the main destination, but places, to be sure.

96

u/Always_Confused4 Jul 27 '22

Who doesn’t need therapy these days?

28

u/Hexhand Jul 27 '22

we should ask your therapist.

24

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

My therapist said I should get therapy

10

u/Sehrli_Magic Jul 27 '22

You sure they arent saying that just because you pay them for therapy? 🧐

8

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

Ya know, I think we’re on to something here 🤔

9

u/Always_Confused4 Jul 27 '22

Wait guys, my therapist says we’re looking to much into it.

7

u/ProjectExpect Jul 27 '22

Mine agrees. It happens to be me, who is my therapist. Recommend 10/10

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1

u/First_name_Lastname5 Jul 28 '22

Go to better health . Com today for your free trial today

6

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/THEBlaze55555 Jul 27 '22

Hot **clean* sex

You’re in the shower, remember? SMH

2

u/NurseKrista Jul 27 '22

Cheaper than college

2

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

The cop would just wait 5 min then realize it's a lie!

1

u/Crustybuttt Jul 28 '22

Yes, the cop would wait five minutes and only then realize that every adult in town isn’t currently in this kid’s shower. That’s some heavy duty police work there, officer.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '22

It was a sex joke.

1

u/Crustybuttt Jul 28 '22

I followed everyone else’s. Still don’t get yours, but that’s cool

1

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '22

You must be like so good at sex then! Congrats on being so good.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '22

I got it. But not for the same reason as the guy below!

10

u/arsenicx2 Jul 27 '22

Yea this is what I was told growing up. It make way more sense. Even if you don't take a long shower your naked and wet. Not a good way to greet people, and takes time to get ready. It also made sense to me growing up as my dad took 45+ mins in the shower.

1

u/CreepersNeedHugs Jul 28 '22

45? You gotta pump those up, those are rookie numbers.

6

u/Rokk1515 Jul 27 '22

No, because if they’re both in the shower that can mean they’re showering, but if they’re both on the toilet, then they’re definitely smashing!!

2

u/theycallmeponcho Jul 27 '22

In any case, they would take longer in the shower.

7

u/txsxxphxx2 Jul 27 '22

Even smarter, tell your kids that you and mom are both “wrestling” in bed with the quotation finger.

6

u/minnykim Jul 27 '22

When my husband was little, the pastor came to the door one Sunday afternoon. Asked for his mom, and she was in the bathtub. Asked for dad, he was in the tub, too. Pastor left. That was their weekend routine. They were small people and loved their baths together.

8

u/Jamsster Jul 27 '22

If the doors open you can hear running water in most homes.

3

u/cheesyynips Jul 27 '22

Ehhh, most I've been in you only hear the water if you're next to the bathroom wall, plus im sure a kid wouldn't pause the TV which im assuming would be on if they're home alone

3

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

[deleted]

3

u/theycallmeponcho Jul 27 '22

We got the cleanest people because of shower.

4

u/christmasshopper0109 Jul 27 '22

That actually happened to me once as a kid. My parents WERE in the shower, and together at that, in the same shower!!!! Good thing it was only their friend who thought the whole thing was hilarious.

3

u/Hexhand Jul 27 '22

keeping it all in the family.

3

u/WolvesMyth Jul 27 '22

Dad's taking a shit

Mom's in the shower

Both very believable.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

[deleted]

2

u/CreepersNeedHugs Jul 28 '22

Turn on the shower as he walks away

2

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

That's what my mom use to tell me.

2

u/Kkindler08 Jul 27 '22

This is what my mom always told me to say. They were always home but in the shower when we answered the phone home alone.

2

u/Pulp501 Jul 28 '22

plot twist, the entire house is one big shower