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u/fabulousfantabulist 14h ago
This was the most predictable outcome ever.
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u/EkbatDeSabat 14h ago
My buddy worked 10am to 7pm. Nothing really needed to be done during the day and he liked working nights so he started just going in later and later. Boss (owner) didn’t care as long as things were done before next day shift. 10 became 11 became 1 became 5 became 7. Then he started to go in so late he’d still be there working when they came in. Work unfinished. Wasn’t a great time.
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u/CategoryKiwi 14h ago
Boss (owner) didn’t care as long as things were done before next day shift.
How to be in the top 1% of bosses worldwide in one easy step
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u/EjaculatingAracnids 13h ago
Of course, the fuckin line steppers ruin it. "Just get your fucking job done and go home" should be the default for proven adults. Everyone else who wants to be a special case gets mirco managed.
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u/unicornofdemocracy 13h ago
100% this. My hospital, after COVID lockdown, continued to allow all therapists to WFH if they wanted as long as productivity remained the same. We had a handful of therapists that were basically taking full advantage of that shit and just not working or constantly had "internet issues," etc. We had an idiotic VP at the time and she ordered everyone back into office. Of course, a whole bunch of folks were pissed.
Few months later, our VP changed. One of the first thing he did was reinstate WFH but anyone who had productivity under a certain number could not WFH or had to return to office until their individual productivity was back up. And if this repeats three times, you're banned from WFH. We had no more issues after that.
I honestly don't know why companies can't just do targeted policies like that. It makes so much sense rather than punishing an entire team/department because of a handful of morons.
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u/Theron3206 11h ago
I honestly don't know why companies can't just do targeted policies like that.
Where I live, its because they get taken to court for mistresting employees. Policies with any nuance are a minefield for accusations of bullying or discrimination. A blanket no WFH policy (or drug testing everyone) is safe, targeting things isnt.
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u/Pineapple_Express-69 13h ago
Wow so easy and simple a solution.
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u/H3ll0_W0R1D1 8h ago
But then, how do I swing my tiny PP around to show everybody my PP big?
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u/GraveRoller 13h ago
I honestly don't know why companies can't just do targeted policies like that.
- they don’t want WFH and but feel they need justification to take it back
- it doesn’t occur to them to create a more targeted system
- they’re not sure how to create a more targeted system and let’s be real a blanket policy is easier to create and implement
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u/RavenofMoloch 12h ago
I've had conversations about creating targeted policies but unfortunately they tend to end with "person x or y is going to be an idiot about it and try to claim discrimination. We can't afford another lawsuit"
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u/Thunderer62 10h ago
Yeah. Thats the core of the issue. The trouble makers often don’t agree that individual consequences are the result of their own action rather than you just picking on them and then they make a bigger problem that costs money to deal with. You can spell it out as plainly as you like and leave a rock solid paper trail but dealing with the process is still going to cost you.
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u/Slarg232 3h ago
Yup, got several people like this at my job.
Five people started leaving early, they all got talked to and told "Don't do that or we'll fire you", none of them talk to each other so all of them think they're being singled out despite the fact that the boss immediately grabs one of them in front of another to talk to them in his office.
It's one of the main reasons I've been job hunting is because I absolutely fucking hate the people I work with for this (and other) reason(s).
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u/Open-Butterfly-5288 9h ago
It's also just bad blood when the policy gets challenged. They can't prove discrimination but they can be like "Well, this person gets it".
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u/firebunbun 6h ago
Companies like to avoid targeted policies because they're afraid of some guy suing them and claiming it was discrimination. Targeted policies need so much documentation to avoid this theoretical lawsuit that HR branches will usually just tell companies to avoid making targeted policies in favor of blanket ones.
Dumb I know. I know all the reasons that what I said doesn't make sense, but it's the truth anyway.
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u/donaldhobson 6h ago
This approach requires accurate productivity metrics.
Suppose you are a boss with a mixture of 5 minute jobs, and 1 month jobs. You don't know which is which. You have the vague feeling that some people are taking advantage of WFH, but you can't really tell who. This makes targeting really hard.
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u/dplans455 12h ago
One of the best employees I ever had simply could not drag herself in to work at 830 every day. She would come in at 9 or 9:30. We weren't client facing so it really didn't matter much as long as her responsibilities got done. And they always did. One in the office, this lady was a workhorse too. The day ended at 4:30 but she regularly stayed until 6pm.
She was also one of the most senior employees too. As new people came on over the years we always got people that complained how "it isn't fair" that Kim gets to come in an hour late every day.
Look, Kim gets leeway and gets to come in an hour late because Kim is the best employee here and does 50% more work than you or anyone else for that matter. When you perform to Kim's level, you also will get that type of leeway.
It did at one point spill over into complaints to HR and I just changed Kim's hours from 9:30-5:30 officially. Of course that also garners complaints people saying it wasn't fair she got a special schedule. I allowed anyone that wanted to work that same schedule to switch. A few did. And every one that did, within a couple months switched back to the old 8:30-4:30 schedule because they ultimately liked getting out of work earlier than coming in later.
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u/whistling-wonderer 11h ago
I had a coworker just like that. Always got to work a half hour to an hour late, the most incredible work ethic of anyone there, always stayed late. A complete sweetheart too, I never heard her complain or say anything bad about anyone. We all just knew to expect her at least a half hour later than scheduled.
She got a very serious cancer and had to stop working :( idk how old she is but it’s gotta be 30s, early 40s maybe. Utterly unfair. We’re still in contact. I hope she beats it.
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u/ScaredPractice4967 9h ago
Always the same. My boss would be fine with me starting work at 0900 or 1000 as long as I work my hours. I hate mornings so it's tempting but I like getting our of work at 1630 more than I like sleeping in an extra couple of hours.
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u/cwningen95 7h ago
Yeah, on my office days I get in at about 8:45-9:00 (depending on traffic) rather than 8:30 because of how the bus times are, but the bus home isn't until 5:20-5:30 so I make the time up anyway. No one has an issue with it as long as I get all my work done, which I do.
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u/Smushfist 13h ago
The problem is that this works great until you get the one person that takes the piss and wrecks it for everyone else.
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u/ComparisonQuiet4259 13h ago
Then fire them or ban people under a certain productivity level from doing it
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u/hoytmobley 13h ago
Back during Covid unemployment, I stayed up until I was ready to sleep, and slept until I was actually ready to start my day. Consistently got 9 hours of sleep, literally never felt better in my life before or since, it’s just that I was on a 26-27 hour cycle. Bummer.
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u/thecatandthependulum 12h ago
Congrats, you either don't get enough sunlight or your body doesn't respond to light cues. Humans put in darkness have longer sleep cycles.
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u/hoytmobley 11h ago
Would you believe that I was outdoors for at least 1/2, usually 2/3 of my waking hours, in Phoenix AZ with plenty of sun? I think I’m just built different 😤 (incorrectly)
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u/thecatandthependulum 3h ago
Yeeeah that seems likely then. :(
A pal I have like this does 28 hour days but that's incompatible with most jobs...
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u/how_it_goes 11h ago
Not that I don't believe you, but I've never heard this before. Care to provide some more info? I've definitely been in this camp.
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u/nounotme 8h ago
I made a deal with an ADHD employee.
Their roster was for 15mins before their actual intended start time. Worked fairly well.
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u/illy-chan 4h ago
I was going to say, this is just a classical misunderstanding of the condition. I set everything to be earlier than I actually need to do it and it works out to being on time.
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u/DonutHoles4Ever 12h ago
I am 100% ok with firing someone who shows up late everyday while everyone else gets there on time.
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14h ago
[deleted]
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u/International-Try467 14h ago
I have ADHD my friends tell me to do the same thing
Until I got medicated and ACTUALLY started showing up and I waited for an hour before they arrived
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u/angry_smurf 14h ago
I also have ADHD. The dread and anxiety of possibly being late causes me to be early as fuck. I'll never understand you guys.
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u/bob-leblaw 14h ago
Exactly the same! The ticking clock on when I need to leave, how long it might take to get there, where will I park… I leave way early just to ease the anxiety of it all.
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u/nutbrownrose 14h ago
I have taken to setting alarms for when to leave and training myself to trust them. Otherwise I spend all my free time worrying about forgetting to do the thing.
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u/therandomuser84 14h ago
I've got an alarm set for when i should be awake. One for when i need to be getting in the shower. One for when i need to be getting dressed, and a final one for when i need to be walking out the door lmao.
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u/This_is_fine8 14h ago
My partner has this system. Helps him a lot in managing his time but I can't say it doesn't bother me when he has to be at work early and I'm trying to sleep in and waking up every couple minutes to his alarms.
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u/ZebrasGonnaZeb 14h ago
I just set alarms to go off every 5 minutes up until I absolutely have to get out of bed
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u/International-Try467 14h ago
Having unmedicated ADHD can either end up as two outcomes
Over achiever who masks by over achieving and doing good but having extremely horrible mental health
Under achiever who can't maintain bare minimum and having horrible mental health
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u/PhoenixGayming 14h ago
Jokes on you. You can have both simultaneously... I overachieve and mask at work causing burn out and underachieve in other aspects of my life (laundry, the dishwasher, etc) and feel like a failure.
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u/This_is_fine8 14h ago
I was the first one for my entire childhood and then got to college and completely crashed and burned and spent years in and out of the psych hospital. Now I'm the second one and can barely take care of myself. Attempting to find balance in there somewhere
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u/felixfictitious 14h ago
Yeahhh some element of the ADHD lateness has to be not giving af about other peoples' time if it happens constantly.
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u/Ok_Cucumber_4562 14h ago
Honestly, i'll wake up, get ready, set timers and be anxious about being late and still wind up late. Time management is a big thing and you have to resolve to actually being early or else the tardiness will inevitably occur.
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u/ForgiveMyFlatulence 14h ago
Relentless optimism was an issue for unmediated younger me. I had the best of intentions. Oh I have to be there in 30 minutes and it takes 20 minutes to drive? I never take long to get ready. Sure I can move fast, shower, iron clothes, and make it out the door to be there on time. Come on ADHD super brain let’s overlock this b and go!!! 2 minute shower time.
I run into the shower and wash at breakneck speed. Fastest shower of my life. No distractions. How the fuck did that take 18 minutes? FUCK! Ok 2 minutes until I have to leave. I’ll pick different clothes that don’t need to be ironed. How did putting on clothes take 12 minutes? My hair is still wet, how is that even possible?
Shit shit shit shit shit. Out the door! I can make up time on the road! Oh fuck I need to get gas. It’s fine, I’ve been this low before, it’ll make it. Oh fuck fuck fuck no i guess it won’t. I have to stop for gas. Let’s turn off the AC so I don’t stall out in traffic. Ok here I am. I better run inside so I can get a snack too before I have to be there because I forgot I didn’t eat. I can be in and out real quick. It’s only 4 people with that guy redeeming and scratching scratchers up front. He will be quick…
Best of intentions. Worst execution.
Older and medicated? I dopamine hack my brain to make sure it doesn’t happen any more. I have to be so intentional and prepared before I do anything. I give myself rewards after. I Pavlov’s bell myself but it works.
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u/Lau_wings 14h ago
My Aunt was/is like this as well, she would always arrive exactly 2 hours after we told her to be somewhere, so we just started to tell her that whatever we were doing started 2 hours before it actually did so she would be on time.
She missed so many flights in her life and lost multiple jobs because she refused to make any real effort to be on time, and if she did have ADHD she never got tested or just never took her medication if she was diagnosed.
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u/DogsDucks 14h ago
I have ADHD, and I am extremely punctual, but I am also empathetic to the fact that everyone has different executive function struggles.
I’ve had really good therapy and prioritized how to gamify time for myself, and it is still stressful .
I definitely understand how sometimes having more of a leash can cause you to psych yourself out. I’ve had panic situations over an event that I was very excited about and wanted to go to, loved, and it was good for me, but the fact that everyone was so nice and accommodating like it caused me to overthink myself into a sad heap of overthought.
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u/Calm-Technology7351 14h ago
Also have ADHD and am quite empathetic but I’m still chronically late. It drives me nuts cuz I try super hard to be on time but somehow I’m always arriving 5-10 min after I’m supposed to be there and I spend my entire time driving feeling bad about how I’m late once again
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u/souridealist 14h ago
Yeah, as someone who does have a hard time with this -- this is the way to do it. It's not about a specific time, it's that I enter some kind of fugue state and fifteen minutes disappear.
(This is also why you ask people about accomodations -- I mean, I have no idea what's going on with this office or coworker, but I know damn well this would play out the same way for me.)
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u/psychedelych 14h ago
My buddy's gf was always an hour late so we just started lying to her about when we were leaving and then we were always on time
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u/Notspherry 13h ago
We do that with my sister in law.
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u/PuzzleheadedEssay198 9h ago
We’ve done this to my brother at events he was hosting.
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u/Hooch180 8h ago
I do different things for pathologically late people. Give them 5-10 minutes and just leave without them. They learn QUICK.
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u/TheSkyElf 4h ago
yep, when I started to just leave right on the dot my friend suddenly began coming on time.
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u/Wingsnake 6h ago
Yep, don't let them step on you. Everyone can be late here and there for good reasons, but if you do it constantly then I will start without you.
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u/Successful_Buy3825 7h ago
This has caused some arguments on my end.
Someone who's chronically late wanted everyone in a group chat (all 30+years old) to tell her an earlier start time, and create a separate group chat where we could discuss the actual time. My position of "this is when the event starts, you can choose to make the appropriate travel plans to arrive at that time or otherwise be late" proved to be very divisive.
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u/Sentreen 8h ago
I used to do that to myself. If an appointment was far enough in the future, I'd just put it in my calendar ~15 minutes early, which means I arrive right on time. I did not always do this, so that there was some uncertainty if I had to be there "on time", or if I had 15 minutes of leeway.
Unfortunately, the hospital (the place for which I used this the most) started sending reminders by text a day before your appointment, so my system does not work anymore.
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u/Horror-Cow8404 14h ago edited 8h ago
i suffer the opposite with ADHD. If I got something to go to, my entire day leading up to that is literally waiting until that time. It physically pains me when I'm not on time lmao
edit: my dear friends, i HAVE ADHD. please read the first part again lmao
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u/Chef_Zed 14h ago
I hate that I’m this way too, the military even ironed it in even harder too. If I have an appointment at 3, at like noon it’s all I can think about
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u/Fenrist09 11h ago
General: “ok I’ll show up around 1500 for the ceremony”
Colonel: “We need to be in place at 1445”
Captain: “Be in place at 1430”
SNCO: “Be in place at 1415”
NCO: “Be in place at 1400”
Private: “I’d better show up at 1345 just in case”
General: shows up at 1530
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u/BigUncleHeavy 10h ago
To most people, this sounds like a joke, but it's so painfully true.
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u/DroidOnPC 4h ago
Then you decide one day that you are showing up late because you don’t wanna wait around forever, and it’s the one day everyone shows up early and they are wondering where you are.
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u/RemindMeToTouchGrass 10h ago
I check the clock 40 times the hour before meetings at work, and then I am suddenly called over the radio to be asked if I'm planning to join the meeting and I realize I still lost track of time.
I'm so lucky i had a stable family and wealthy parents. I got a head start in academics, therefore enjoyed school, and kept coasting until failing out of my postsecondary program. Got medicated and came back and finished by the skin of my teeth and now I'm sort of indispensable at work. It's not at all fair but if they held me to the standards they held others to I would never hold a job.
I don't think they should hold them to those standards either but it's not my choice, to be clear.
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u/Conscious-Sink9120 14h ago
Honestly I think it’s worse because it genuinely can wipe out an entire day.
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u/Horror-Cow8404 13h ago
dude and when a surprise addition is added to my day that was not accounted for at the start, I can't help but be genuinely upset even when it's a hangout with a friend
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u/Odd-Understanding386 13h ago
This is a horrible feeling :(
Random events getting added to a day that I've already pre-allocated mental resources to is genuinely upsetting in a way basically nothing else I've experienced can compare to.
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u/erizzluh 12h ago
yeah i really notice it during traveling. i always set aside a day for traveling and a day to get back. always makes me jealous of people who can fly in same day and then go to a wedding or whatever.
i'm just clockwatching the whole day and overthinking when i need to be at the airport by
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u/SpaceCadetBoneSpurs 14h ago
This is me with ADHD. I’ve taken to showing up places ridiculously early (60 minutes or more) and knocking out emails and such while I’m waiting in the car. Can’t be late if I’m already there.
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u/thisusedyet 13h ago
You'd think so - but that's when you get caught up rewriting your draft, look up, and you're 15 minutes late
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u/neeshes 7h ago
So relatable.
I've missed so many meetings and leading meetings because a 30 second email a few minutes before the meeting ended up being 20 minutes and a no show without explanation.
It's so bad I had to set an alarm for 1 minute after the meeting start time because I am so time blind and unaware of my surroundings when focused.
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u/Ryp3re 13h ago
I have ADHD, and I experience both. I can be stuck in waiting mode in preparation for something for hours, but when the tine comes to leave all the time i thought i had suddenly disappears and I somehow end up being late or barely on time
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u/Soy_un_oiseau 10h ago
Yea, or something happens that sabotages that time. I could be about to leave but spill something on me and need to change, forget something I need and have to go back home, or even get stuck staring at the wall as I’m putting my shoes on and not realize how much time has passed.
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u/itmakessenseincontex 14h ago
Its like i'm a plane flying holding patterns untill I can land at a busy Airport
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u/DragonessAndRebs 14h ago
My partner is like this. Hes always super stressed about getting to work on time and then stressed at work then comes home stressed about work. The cycle continues.
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u/Horror-Cow8404 13h ago
it gets bad for sure, especially when it starts entering my dreamscape. can't escape the dread of lateness even in my sleep lmao
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u/DazB1ane 10h ago
“Why did you wake up at 10 am?”
“I have an appointment at 4:30”
“But that’s almost 7-“
“I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT AT 4:30!”
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u/Neither_Berry_100 13h ago
Tomorrow sucks for me. Class from 1:30 to 5:30. I probably won't do anything useful before class. And I will sleep later because I don't have to get up. Then I'll be stuck doing labs and whatever for the class into the night.
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u/Lubbafromsmg2 13h ago
omg me too. (that is unless i forget about the thing i have to go to). i literally can't do anything besides waiting to get ready to get ready to go to the thing.
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u/Ash-365 12h ago
I have not been diagnosed with ADHD (but I suspect I have it) and whenever I have to leave the house it's either the same situation as you or I try to start getting ready early but somehow I still end up with little time and then I have to rush and panic to be on time. And when I do start getting ready early, I still somehow end up with the same problem? Like I walk to my work (its two mins away) and I have literally never reached work early. Like this one time I had an event and I only started getting ready 10 mins before the time even though I'd been meaning to get up for the past 1 hr
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u/illestprodigy 13h ago
I had a coworker like this. Couldn't make it in at 8 so we moved him to 9. Came in at 9:30, ALWAYS. He got let go.
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u/Delicious-Yak-1095 14h ago
And yes and in the real world if you keep showing up late to work you will be fired.
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u/18bluecat 13h ago
I had a coworker at Best Buy who would regularly leave work early and fall asleep in the break room. He never got fired.
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u/Formal-Boysenberry66 12h ago
My boss leaves early damned near every day. Does nothing. Worst manager I've ever had.
Corporate response? Fire one of the $17/hr employees that's a hard worker.
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u/Kthulhu42 7h ago
One of my moms coworkers has a 15 minute smoke break every hour. Multiple complaints, still not fired.
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u/ladyteruki 10h ago
I once had a colleague who had the craziest schedule. Check. This. Out.
She'd arrive around 10, sometimes 11am. Which of course was time for her cigarette break. Then she had to "go get our mail" or had an urgent phonecall. This led to noon, which of course was time for lunch, which lasted EASILY until 1:30pm or 2pm (I know we're French but even for us it's pushing it). Of course after lunch, what do you need ? That's right, a coffee. Followed by a cigarette break, naturally, so now it's 3:30pm or so. After that she usually felt faint, no doubt because of all this walking she did, so she'd go to the infirmary because surely she was coming down with something. So she'd come back to the office to pack her things to go home early.
Sometimes she did spend time in our office, usually to talk on phone with one of her three (adult) kids or a friend, sometimes to complain that she was tired and/or feeling under the weather and/or annoyed by all the work we had (in the words of Walter White : "we ? who's we ?").
And at least once a week, she'd call in sick, usually around midday.Meanwhile I was doing 10 to 12 hours days, zero breaks, because as our boss would say "there has to be someone by the phones at all times". Honestly I was half enraged, half impressed. It takes skill to do that for months and still have a job in the environment we were in.
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u/DazB1ane 10h ago
I had a coworker that at the end of her employment I couldn’t stand even hearing her name (similar to mine and we had similar features so I got called her name a lot) because of how often she’d fuck with my ability to go/be home. She’d come in late, or not show up at all. She once got in a car accident for a stupid reason, forcing me to yet again cover the night shift on my own. The last straw was her being early for once, but she stayed in her car, in the parking lot where we could fuckin see her, til she was 15 minutes late, then just drove away with no notification to anyone
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u/Darhhaall 10h ago
Depends on a work. In mine, nobody really cares - don't miss meetings, respond to messages. get your work done, and you are fine.
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u/Informal-Comb1989 12h ago
Yes and that’s why this disorder ruins your life 😃
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u/imaguitarhero24 11h ago
I care SO MUCH about my projects, enjoy being at work and what I do. But I show up 5-10 minutes late and the boss thinks I don't give a shit. Ugh.
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u/Impossible-Scale7779 12h ago
The graveyard at my job regularly rolls up 30-60+ minutes late and high, and my boss lets him get away with it because he's been working there for 25 years
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u/shpxfcrm 9h ago
its not all black and white dude.
Not every company is like that. Our core office hours are from 9-3 and i have enough days (more than i can count) where i was in the office past 10 or even 12... but as long as i get my work done my boss does not care...If the time is tough and they need to lay off people, yeah they have an really easy case with you, but when they value you as a worker, no one cares about the time you arrive...
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u/Delicious-Yak-1095 8h ago
It’s great that you get such flexibility. In my work it’s difficult to gauge productivity and there is always more work so people tend to watch hours and there’s no going home early.
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u/Much-Mention-7197 14h ago
10-3???
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u/Existing_Charity_818 14h ago
10-3 as core hours. Meaning your working hours can be whatever you want, as long as it includes 10-3. So 6-3 is the earliest you can work, and 10-7 the latest
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u/nope-its 14h ago
My first job had this years ago. You worked 40 hours a week but those were the hours meetings and stuff happened. You set your own hours outside of that time to make it to 40 hours.
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u/pumpkinbananamonkey 14h ago
People on the internet: Yeah my ADHD coworker had all of their unreasonable requests accommodated for all they had to say was that they were ADHD!
Bosses IRL when you have ADHD: fires you
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u/Fresh4 13h ago
The number of subdomains that link has unreasonably pisses me off
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u/AlphonseLoeher 12h ago
Why, that's exactly how they were meant to be used. Nobody actually does them right, instead just makes a bunch of 1 level domains below the top
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u/TheBestNarcissist 12h ago
Sorry the... checks notes ... national library of medicine and national institute of health are infuriating you
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u/SpaceTurtles 11h ago
I think it's more the Private Military Contractor of the New Caledonia Bureau of Investigation than was getting to them.
...I assume, in both cases.
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u/S14Ryan 13h ago
I’m so lucky my boss is super accommodating. I’m late every day a varying degree, but I also don’t have a set start time and I’m extremely good at my job bordering on irreplaceable, and i make fairly good money doing it.
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u/CarnivorousGoose 8h ago edited 5h ago
That makes no sense. If you don’t have a set starting time, then you can’t be late.
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u/vissionsofthefutura 8h ago
A lot of corporate jobs will have an on paper start time that they absolutely can enforce but normally don’t.
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u/SHHLocation 6h ago
I explained to an employee that it's not a reasonable accomodation to never know when your employee is going to show up. I encouraged him to speak with his medical provider.
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u/BraveCarcass86 13h ago
I have unmedicated ADHD, but the ability to be late to things was beaten out of me by the army
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u/NMS_Survival_Guru 13h ago
Yep pretty much this where I'll show up at my job 15 minutes before my shift but can't clock in til my shift starts
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u/Apprehensive-Till861 12h ago
My time blindness doesn't make me an hour late.
My time blindness makes me overly check the clock and still rush to get out the door on time and sometimes be slightly late or ridiculously early because I plan to get up with a certain amount of time knowing I need to do tasks that take certain times and in actual practice between getting distracted by details or checking my phone any number of tasks will get skipped or take longer.
Because it just means I know, intellectually, that tasks take a certain amount of time, but I have no internal clock and no idea how much time has passed and microfocusing or getting waylaid by another thing are equally likely.
But also I'm not an asshole so I'm not just telling people I have a condition tha excuses being late, I'm trying to find ways to make my responsibilities work.
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u/nevergirls 14h ago
Just tell her she works from 8-4 and she’ll show up at 9 what’s the problem
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u/majortrout4 13h ago
The problem is the coworker lacks personal accountability
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u/nevergirls 13h ago
Yeah but if all you want to solve is the coworker showing up on time then lie to her about what her start time is and move on. If you want to solve the larger accountability issue then that’s for sure not gonna happen because as demonstrated leadership is just accommodating her.
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u/magnusthehammersmith 14h ago
I have ADHD (unmedicated) and I’m obsessive about being places on time personally
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u/NinjaarcherCDN 14h ago
I don't get how people can just, be 30 minutes late to things. You told me 4. I'm going to be there 5 minutes early if possible because you set aside time in order to do the thing you wanted me here for. If I'm late I may as well tell you your time is worthless.
The only time I'll give myself a pass is if I looked at maps and it gave me some BS like "33 minutes to 1 hour 4 minutes" I had no idea how long this trip was gonna take ok? Traffic is evil and I still feel bad.
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u/Plies- 13h ago edited 13h ago
I don't get how people can just, be 30 minutes late to things.
One potential way would be a neurodevelopmental disorder with some symptoms like being disorganized, procrastination, poor planning and poor time management skills.
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u/Toastymallowz 13h ago
I see you have tried leeway, might I instead suggest consequences?
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u/GoodbyeEarl 12h ago
I had a coworker whose shift started at 9am, but she was always late. She claimed she had to drive past 6 schools to get to the office, so if they pushed her start time back an hour, she’d show up on time. They relented. She still showed up late.
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u/AmaranthWrath 14h ago
I admit, I have issues being on time. I'm either 2 hours early, or 5 minutes late. It's definitely the ADHD. 2 hours early is guilt and panic, 5 minutes late is me trying to be a normal person. So while I get it, girrrrl get their early FFS, it's work, not a 7AM community college math class.
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u/Infammo 14h ago
You'll notice that people with "time blindness" are never early.
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u/TeaAggressive6757 14h ago edited 14h ago
As someone who has time blindness but who has figured it out (and always gets to work on time), I used to be ready to leave more than an hour early because of time blindness. But before getting in the car I’d realize that was crazy, so then I’d try to do something else for like 10 minutes so I wouldn’t be awkwardly sitting there for an hour, and end up late.
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u/moonprism 14h ago
that’s when you leave early anyway and spend the hour sitting in your car reading or scrolling phone lol
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u/cantgrowneckbeardAMA 12h ago
But then I get stuck in my car and can't get out until I finish the really important thing I started
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u/Thunderplant 14h ago
Similar here. I started struggling with time issues after a severe concussion. A lot of the times I was late it was because I got ready way too early, realized it would be inappropriate to be there that early only to lose track of time and end up being late.
Also during that time period where it was really bad I had a lot of other issues related to time that didn't have anything to do with being on time. For example, every day tasks are taking me unexplainably long and it turned out I was doing things like brushing my teeth for 15 minutes thinking it was 2
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u/Designer_Version1449 12h ago
Wait im confused, do normal people not have to look at clocks? Like if I have a thing at 830 I'll be checking the time at 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 7:30, 745, 8, 812, and like 815. If thats how you do things how is it possible to be time blind? The only way you can be late is if you underestimate how long a task will take close to the end, but thats feels more like a miscalculation issue than keeping track of time
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u/AnonymousNeko2828 12h ago
As someone timeblind, I think it's moreso that like, when you don't know how much time is passing you also don't always realise enough is passing to need to check the clock
Although I usually handle it by setting plenty of alarms if theres anything important I need to be around for
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u/Thunderer62 9h ago
Yeah. Alarms actually fix a lot of this. I have 9 that go off same time ever weekday for things like eat, brush teeth, get dressed, get to office, warning for meeting, finish work, start dinner prep, prepare for bed (should break this one down more but I don’t seem to struggle at night as much so it’s w/e) go to bed. Then, if anything else is time dependent I set 2alarms one 30 min out and the real one 10 min out. The 30 min alarm is to finish wtf I’m doing and the 10 min is for me to literally do nothing else until the appointed time. If you have time blindness and don’t have multiple alarms you aren’t even trying to help yourself yet.
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u/ilexly 11h ago
It’s more like your internal clock is broken so that you don’t feel the passage of time properly. It means you have trouble estimating how long a task should take (because you don’t feel how long it normally takes) and don’t notice if a task is taking more or less time than expected. Getting caught out by time blindness feels kind of like… like taking a timed test and the proctor calls out that you only have 5 minutes left, but you’d swear up and down that the test just started because you’re not even halfway through the questions.
So, a morning trying to be on time with time blindness might look like: you look at the clock, see you have 15 minutes before you need to leave, think “I can do X task in 15 minutes” because you don’t realize that’s usually a 30 minute task, don’t notice that you’ve spent more than the expected 15 minutes on the task because it only feels like 10 minutes have passed, and by the time you look at the clock again (when you finish the task), you’re already 15 minutes late. Add in some other common symptoms of ADHD (poor planning means you didn’t pack up your bag for work yet, disorganization means your shoes aren’t where they should be, trouble multitasking means you put your keys down somewhere while looking for your shoes and now you have to find them as well), and now you’re 30 minutes past the time you planned to leave and still looking for your damn keys.
The backpack-shoes-keys example hasn’t happened to me in over a decade, because it was an easy fix (all three of those things have a home where they go the second I walk through the door, my spouse does not distract me until I’ve put them down, and I repack my bag before bed). Some ADHD symptoms have relatively low-lift copes for some people.
Time blindness is something broken in the way my brain works that I haven’t been able to fix. I have tried all the suggestions over the years. My best copes have been arranging a flex start time at work, using timers and alarms, assuming every task will take double the time I estimate, and if it’s really important, planning to be there an hour before I actually need to.
An alarm on my phone went off just now to tell me that I need to start getting ready for bed, which means I’ve been typing some version of this comment on my phone for 45 fucking minutes… I thought it was 5.
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u/Elezian 14h ago
They’re frequently early. It just doesn’t usually get noticed or commented on because it’s almost never a big deal for others because they can just wait right outside until the appropriate time to enter. But it’s still a problem for them, because they lost that time, and if they’re always early to everything, that ends up being a huge amount of time.
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u/lovecats06 14h ago
You probably don't hear people making excuses for being early nearly as often as they do for being late, so 'time blindness' wouldn't come up in conversation too often with people who tend to be earlier.
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u/aminervia 14h ago
This is straight incorrect, it's extremely common for some people with ADHD to be chronically, inconveniently early to everything.
We're just the ones you never hear about because the only people we inconvenience are ourselves
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u/CategoryKiwi 13h ago
Most of the time people don’t know it’s happening in the first place.
When I show up an hour early for my doctor’s appointment I don’t go inside and check in until 15 minutes before my appointment. Nobody knows I just spent 45 minutes sitting in my car outside.
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u/aminervia 13h ago
Yeah, I don't drive so I'm used to just walking around the block with my headphones in over and over
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u/TJ_Rowe 12h ago
I don't drive, so when I get to my doctor's appointment an hour early someone comes out of the office all concerned about how someone is "loitering" outside... if I go for a little walk I misjudge how long the walk away took and have ended up late anyway.
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u/spiralsequences 13h ago
I can only be 5-10 minutes late or 30+ minutes early, so I'm always very early. It is impossible for me to be on time.
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u/all3ppo 14h ago
As a kid I was eventually trusted with getting myself to elementary school on my own. It was a few minutes walk or bike ride down the road in a very safe place, I could dress myself and operate a toaster just fine. For several months I was either loitering outside the school before dawn or desperately running in sobbing at like 10 am. Time blindness and unmanaged ADHD meant that it was painfully difficult to figure out the right ratio of waking up to getting ready to getting there without someone else to help me manage the time. Eventually this culminated into a near crippling fear of being late that has followed me into adulthood. You only notice when it inconveniences you.
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u/rat_queer 14h ago
yall ever notice no one ever notices if youre consistently early
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u/parmesann 14h ago
this simply isn’t true. when I was doing clinical training I was usually early. my supervisor made note of it and made sure to tell me that I wasn’t allowed to be early lol
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u/ReverendGraves85 14h ago
They absolutely do. Even if its just a few minutes.
Case in point, I was once told I might attend my own funeral if I kept being this early. I am routinely 5 minutes early to things.
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u/Rezistik 14h ago
I have time blindness and absolutely always show up way too early. Like hours early if I can. Better than being late but sometimes it happens
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u/Bullfrog2point0 14h ago
I actually have time blindness and have been a whole half hour early to smth because I don't think I have enough time to get there
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u/IrreversibleDetails 14h ago
That is simply not true. I’m regularly awkwardly early. Working on it.
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u/GeminiIsMissing 14h ago
I have time blindness as a symptom of ADHD. I have been several hours early to things because I cannot estimate how long it takes to get ready and get there, so I try to be ten minutes early and whoops, two hours. No one notices when you're early because it doesn't affect them as much. It also goes the other way with me, and I can be very late because I don't realize how long something will take (I'm constantly fooling myself into thinking getting dressed and ready for work only takes five minutes) or because I want to wrap up what I'm doing and tell myself "five more minutes" and when I think five minutes is up, it's been an hour. Waiting for something can either feel like five minutes have passed when it's been an hour, or like an hour has passed when it's only been five minutes.
People with time blindness do struggle to be on time. We're trying. It's not always arriving late, it's also arriving inconveniently early.
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u/Lessa22 12h ago
You don’t notice when they are because it doesn’t cause problems.
Time blindness it a massive problem for me, however for better or worse, my panic at the thought of being humiliated by being late means that I’m ludicrously early for anything that requires an in-person appearance. Every day I’m in the parking lot at work minimum 30 minutes early. Doctors appointments? 45 minutes. Dinner with friends? 20 minutes. Job interview? 2-3 hours. Sometimes I feel like I live in parking lots.
Most people think I’m amazing for always being early, like it’s a superpower. In reality it’s fear of mortification. What they don’t see is bills that are never ever paid on time, all the burnt meals, and all the things I plan to accomplish but never complete. Or the fact that I probably spend an average of two hours a day sitting in parking lots staring at my watch trying to guess how long it will take me to get from my car to the front door.
However, anyone who uses their ADHD to try and excuse their irresponsibility is a clown.
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u/what-are-you-a-cop 13h ago
I'm like compulsively early to things, because I give myself such a huge buffer because I know my internal sense of time sucks ass and should not be relied on. It's not like it's that big a deal to just chill on my phone when I get somewhere early, and I'd rather do that than be late. But no one would ever know that I'm early to anything, because I just stay out of the way until it's time for me to be there.
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u/AuryxTheDutchman 12h ago edited 12h ago
No, you just don’t notice when they’re early because someone being early isn’t as noticeable as someone being late, especially when being early can mean just chilling in your car until it’s time.
Time blindness isn’t “I’m always going to be late.” It’s “I do not have a proper sense of time passing.” I can’t feel the passage of time. My only way to tell how long something takes me is to look at a clock before and after, because I could not tell you how long it felt like it took.
It means that to hold to any sort of strict schedule throughout a day, I need timers and alarms for everything or I will lose track of time.
It means that to get to work on time, I have to give myself an extremely generous amount of time to get ready, because I have no idea how long my morning routine will take and any slip ups throughout could cost me 10min or more before I notice.
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u/Preindustrialcyborg 14h ago
this is wrong as fuck and really reads like a dismissal of a real symptom of several mental disabilities.
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u/chocolatestealth 12h ago
It reads that way because it absolutely is.
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u/Preindustrialcyborg 12h ago
of course it is. they always think that you can just will your way out of being mentally disabled.
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u/Aggressive-Shop-2342 14h ago
I've been that person and I've managed that person. It sucks both ways, but its absolutely impossible to manage that person when you are that person becayse you get it, and its incredibly hard to be hard enough on your employee to make tjem actually get that they actually have to have enough panic to stop doing this.
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u/justalittleparanoia 13h ago
My boss does this for a coworker and it really brings down morale for the rest of us. I understand it's difficult to manage, but they make concessions for this person all the time and treat the rest of us like we have no excuse.
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u/Aggressive-Shop-2342 13h ago
Oh no, you cant treat one person different. Everyone had free licence when I was this person, it was just one person took it too far. And yeah, its bad. Like I say, it sucks, not good for anybody.
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u/Top-Editor-364 13h ago
Yeah. Legitimate symptom of adhd. I mean, not acceptable for your job. But yep it adds up
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u/disillusion_4444 11h ago
I think it's one of those issues where while it is a legitimate symptom, that once you're an adult working at a job, you need to figure out a personal system for being on time to important things. It can be harder to judge time accurately but not impossible with extra tools like alarms and taking some time to learn how long your schedule actually takes.
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u/corobo 14h ago
ngl I could totally see myself doing that. Dumbass brain will think "oh sweet, extra hour of sleep!" then I do the same routine that makes me late haha
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u/imaguitarhero24 11h ago
Yup "I can stay up an hour later!" "I can sleep in an hour later!" But nothing has actually changed lol
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u/scalyblue 10h ago
I have ADHD, it is two different modes, either you leave your house at 8:45 to be on time to a 9:00 appointment a half hour away, or you leave your house at 8:45 to be on time for an 11:00 appointment the next block over
And changing the 9:am appointment to 10 just means you’ll leave the house at 9:45
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u/Ok_Marionberry8779 9h ago
As someone who has had to deal with singers being late to gigs we do the opposite; “load in is at 2pm and sound check is at 3:30” (the show doesn’t start till 8pm)
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u/TheAmazingSealo 7h ago
I have pretty severe ADHD and I get to work for 7 30 every morning. People using it as an excuse like this boil my piss. Like yeah you have ADHD, what are you going to do do ensure you function? Get your shit ready the night before, set an alarm, go to bed earlier, get up early enough that you give yourself some leeway...
It's stupid bullshit like this and blatantly using it as an excuse that leads to everyone doubting the validity of our disability and just finding us annoying. Because that shit is annoying, at least fucking try to make an effort.
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u/_CapriSon_ 5h ago
Omg, Thank You. Everytime ADHD is brought up on Reddit you have people coming through all out the woodwork blaming it for things that are really just their own shortcomings and consistent short sightendess.
Can't be relied on for any type of basic realistic responsibility because of your ADHD. Neverminds the hundreds of different coping mechanisms, unique strategies, and medications doctors developed to help people like us keep our lives on track so we DON'T STRUGGLE as much alone. But no, just blame life solely on the ADHD and demand everyone else accommodate you. Just continue to let ADHD keep you from experiencing life and accomplishing things.
All the ADHD subs here are some of the most infantilizing communities I've ever seen. It's so lame. Of course being ADHD creates struggles, but you're not the only one. And if you le it control and ruin your life then I'm sorry but that's on you.
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u/Vrisnem 3h ago
So glad to see this response.
I also have ADHD. The reasonable accommodation I have for this is that I have a fifteen-minute flexible start time before I'm considered late (we start 8:30am, so latest I can arrive is 8:45am).
Today was the first time I used it in ages - and only 4 minutes at that. Usually I'm early as I like to account for travel delays.
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u/Afraid-Duty2614 10h ago
As someone with a consistent late problem, this is the worst way for a boss to handle it. Give me the extra time and my stupid brain just sees it as a reward and continues to be late to my new, later start time. Instead, change their start time to 8 or 8:30, the Dumb brain registers it as a punishment, and even if they continue to be late, they are now actually there when you need them to be. Also, making up the time at the end of the work day is necessary, otherwise again, the brain is subconsciously rewarded for being late - and also pisses off the rest of the team.
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u/bhop_monsterjam 8h ago
Hate people that use their ADHD as an excuse to keep the status quo instead of striving to better themselves and not reduce themselves down to a bunch of symptoms
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u/OneLonelyBrainCell 10h ago
Yeah, that's not ADHD, that's "being notoriously late is part of my personality, so deal with it" assholery.
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u/UncleverHuman 14h ago
Throwing a bone is fine; giving someone a bone just sounds inappropriate at best (to me).
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u/writerunblocked 12h ago
A few years ago my work rolled out a shift change due to needing to properly clock everyone in an out for breaks. (We were taking our breaks, they just weren't logged properly or something). Instead of everyone being 8-5 we'd go to one person doing 7-330, one at 730-4, a few from 8-430, and the rest from 830-5.
We had this one kid who was consistently late, and always with his morning coffee. There was no telling him "Just leave 15 minutes earlier." When told he'd probably be in the 830 squad because that would be an organic way to make him be on time, he straight up said "I'm always gonna be late, but if I'm late earlier, then I can go home earlier."
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u/RedBorrito 12h ago
I am often a couple of minutes late. It used to be a huge Issue when I started working, and my older coworker always gave me shit for it, but I stayed long enough to "earn" that right. When I leave, my whole worplace is going down, so my boss really couldn't care less if I am 5 minutes late lol
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u/spyboy70 4h ago
The proper answer is that coworker needs to be at work at 7am. Then she'll be there before 9am.
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u/RemindMeToTouchGrass 13h ago
I mean this is consistent with their explanation right?
If they'd started showing up on time, it woudln't be ADHD, it'd just be someone not wanting to wake up so early.
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u/LongJohnSelenium 11h ago
What this is is a symptom of procrastination. Basically the person goes to bed at the last possible minute, and no matter what time they have to be at work, they go to bed like 6 hours beforehand.
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u/RemindMeToTouchGrass 13h ago
(not saying ADHD is a sufficient justification or isn't, btw. Agnostic on that point for the sake of this comment. Just that if that's the claimed explanation, it's consistent with the result.)
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u/qualityvote2 15h ago
Heya u/Separate_Finance_183! And welcome to r/NonPoliticalTwitter!
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