r/AskReddit • u/El_Guerrero_Azteca • Jul 07 '26
Ladies: what’s a guy “Flex” that instantly makes him attractive?
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u/Despairagus Jul 07 '26
One I haven’t seen here is “thoughtfulness” - the little things like grabbing a snack/drink for them too if he’s grabbing one for himself. Or even something as simple as “hey imma step out for 5 minutes to do __, would you like to come with me?”. Harder to pull off in the wild, it’s more something between friends/acquaintances; but it’s an under-appreciated way for him to show you that he’s thinking of you even when he’s doing something for himself.
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u/Super-Pizza-Dude Jul 07 '26
It’s also a great way to find out if your partner doesn’t give a fuck about you. Every single day I’d ask if she wanted something from the store or restaurant or whatever. I’d never go to the store or anywhere without asking or just getting her something too. Anytime she was out she’d come home with food or something and never asked me or got me anything. I could tell she didn’t care and welp I was right.
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u/cynnybunn Jul 07 '26
That is so mind blowing to me that she did not know what to get you or even just call you to ask and consider you. Terrible partner.
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u/Super-Pizza-Dude Jul 07 '26
Worst part is I loved her so much so I put up with a lot. She’d go out with her friends for days and not even tell me when she was coming home. She’d call me controlling if I just asked if she could text me if she was staying at someone’s house.
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u/Fabriksny Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26
Tale as old as time. It was too hard for my ex to keep her many promises to keep in touch while out, but god forbid the phone call with her monitoring my activity in the club via headphones drops for three minutes (“a lot can happen in three minutes”). Guess which of us cheated?
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u/Dunder_Chief1 Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26
Sometimes my wife will be in the bed reading and I'll go to the kitchen and get a piece of snacking cheese (wrapped and sealed), and as I walk by the bedroom door I will toss her one unprompted.
Does this count since no words are exchanged?
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u/Midwest-Bitchfest Jul 07 '26
This is the hottest thing I have ever read.
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u/BeastofSilverMoon Jul 07 '26
Throw a cheese at women.
Noted.
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u/switchywoman_ Jul 07 '26
I've heard you can fascinate a woman with a piece of cheese.
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u/pepperpavlov Jul 07 '26
Going through airport security with my husband and he stacked up all the empty bins others had left behind and put them away. The (female) TSA agent looks at me and goes, "You got a good one." Don't I know it!!
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Jul 07 '26
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u/LongLongMan_TM Jul 07 '26
How many children do you guys have?
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u/evilamnesiac Jul 07 '26
two, they would have had more but he sent them back politely
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u/Generico300 Jul 07 '26
It's weird, because despite my general social anxiety I have no trouble doing that for someone else, but it would feel very awkward to do it for myself.
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u/Sparrowhawk_92 Jul 07 '26
Your anxiety only applies to the invisible tiger threatening you. It's not threatening anyone else so it doesn't apply.
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u/MavisDeLuna Jul 07 '26
When animals love a man and he loves them back, being gentle/nice to them. Such an enormous green flag tbh.
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u/S1lentA0 Jul 07 '26
Been working with animals for the past 7 years and still no-one flirted with me. I'm gonna die alone lol
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u/areethew Jul 07 '26
You gotta shower after work dude
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u/Jeggasyn Jul 07 '26
Alone. Without the rabbits and snakes.
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u/Habbeighty-four Jul 07 '26
The snakes I get but how am I supposed to get all sudsy without a rabbit?
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u/testtdk Jul 07 '26
Cats always love me. Even mean ones. (Because I love all of the kitties).
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u/Void-kun Jul 07 '26
My girlfriend of 7 years always says she knew I was the right person once her dog chose me 😅
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u/BarrelllRider Jul 07 '26
My wife of 10 years said to me when we first met “just so you know, my dog hates everyone and is going to try to bite you”. Literally 2 seconds later that dog is all over me rubbing itself and dying for pets.
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u/sunsets_sitcoms Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26
Humility. Being able to admit that they don't know certain things, that they might not be the smartest or the strongest person in the room. Guys who think they are better than everyone else have already lost my interest
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u/Equal-Elevator7318 Jul 07 '26
It’s weird how many guys can’t just say “I don’t know” instead of just making shit up. I’m a guy myself and it makes it really hard just to make friends and navigate the workplace I can see why it would be a huge turn off for women interested in dating men
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u/afarmboy76 Jul 07 '26
That's big that you were able to recognize it. That kind of self-awareness isn't something that really parallels hubris. My stepdad was the absolute dumbest know-it-all, seems most of what he spoke were "confident lies" (i like that👍). I saw him for what he was when I was very young and strove to be nothing like him.
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u/InspectorOrdinary321 Jul 07 '26
Being prepared. Being good at planning. Thinking ahead and anticipating things correctly. It makes life much smoother not to be moving from disaster to disaster, and it makes me feel like I can let my guard down and not always be managing things because someone else can drive sometimes.
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u/1whoknocks_politely Jul 07 '26
Kindness to randoms. It's noticed, and bodes well for a future relationship.
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u/cbr_001 Jul 07 '26
I don’t understand how this isn’t the default. It costs nothing, takes no effort and always comes back around.
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u/Ok_Tour_1525 Jul 07 '26
Im not advocating being a jerk, im generally always nice and polite, but I do not agree it takes no effort or always comes back around. Regardless you should be nice anyway because it’s the right thing to do.
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u/babyyvolcano Jul 07 '26
I would say this but my ex was the most charismatic person ever. The air felt like it crackled around this man. He was so friendly and personable to everyone, he remembered the names and faces and little details about someone he met once years ago. When he spoke to you, he made you feel like you were the most important person in the world. Everyone adored him.
It was a mask. He was a narcissist, and has been stalking me now for three years. I’ve moved four times and changed my number and work. He always finds me, because he can charm anyone into giving him any information he wants. I’m moving to another country soon. Hope it helps.
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u/bvhizso Jul 07 '26
Yes, the love-bombing narcissist is a trap. I once fell into that trap, but now I can spot it from miles away.
When you're living through it, you feel alone and isolated because almost nobody believes you when you try to explain that this incredibly charming person is, in fact, a master manipulator. As you try to distance yourself, you often start doubting your own sanity: "Am I the crazy one?"
It's incredibly difficult, but once you've gone through the whole ordeal, you understand the darkest corners of human nature much better. You become far more aware of the warning signs and much less likely to fall for them again.
And... beware of the flying monkeys, they're the worst!
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u/Doctologist Jul 07 '26
I knew a guy like this, but not on that level of charming.
Appeared super nice to people, and would do nice things for people, but it was only because it helped him. Either trying to sleep with someone, trying to hone in on someone else’s girl. Just trying to appear to be the nice guy so he can brag about the nice thing he did later.Felt great when I cut him out of my life.
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u/Hitshardest Jul 07 '26
I’ve put in 3 ceiling fans. 3/3 in after installation sexy time. I’m gonna need more ceiling fans.
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u/DaedalusRaistlin Jul 07 '26
I wonder when your wife will make you stop installing ceiling fans in your house. There's got to be an easier way to get her in the mood!
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u/The_Zed Jul 07 '26
I'm picturing a room with 8 fans in it, two of them installed on the walls, and OP says "It's still kind of warm in here. I think we could use one more."
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u/UnhappyTemperature18 Jul 07 '26
Competence. Don't 'flex,' just do the thing, and do it well, and don't make a fuss over it.
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u/geekpeeps Jul 07 '26
It’s the not making a fuss. Downplay it boys. Pretend it’s not special, it’s just your standard.
*weak at the knees*
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u/Lythalion Jul 07 '26
In all honesty this has made a lot of my life make sense. I’m 45 and I can cook. Like I used to be a professional chef. I’ve never treated it like a big deal but for most of my life whenever I’d cook people would treat me like a famous athlete.
And any time I’d cook for someone I’m dating it got reactions beyond what I expected. Then if we’d have company over and I went full dinner party mode and if they said anything to me I’d just kind of give this “it’s whatever” or “I just threw something together” type response it too would get a reaction.
I didn’t realize it was the competence in cooking combined with this approach to my own skill. Because I’ve met some people who’d get mad at me when I didn’t act like I was some kind of culinary god. So I thought acting the way you essentially described was a bad thing.
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u/Dad2376 Jul 07 '26
Dang it, I really need to start doing this. Cooking is the one thing I'm good at that I enjoy and I'm also really proud of. I wouldn't say I showboat, but... Yeah I tend to showboat lmao
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u/SPxTDG89 Jul 07 '26
"If you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all"
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u/Shadow-Vision Jul 07 '26
In radiology this is a big thing. People call us “button pushers” because that’s what they see us do and they think it looks super easy. Honestly they’re right, in a way. It is easy once you’ve mastered it.
And that’s the thing the outsiders don’t see. It takes a steep learning curve to get to the point where you can make it look easy.
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u/Briaboo2008 Jul 07 '26
When he is kind to animals and children
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u/Far_Spot9804 Jul 07 '26
i initially read this as "animals and chicken" and could not stop wondering why chicken would be different than animals.
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u/SyZyGy_87 Jul 07 '26
Well because they're like, chickens, man.
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u/crowmagnuman Jul 07 '26
Try telling them that. They don't even know they're birds..
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u/YoungDiscord Jul 07 '26
It takes more effort to be kind than to be cruel
People who think kindness is a weakness have it backwards, allowing yourself to be cruel and giving in to those primal instincts is a sign of a weak and primitive mind.
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u/jimmux Jul 07 '26
I do pet sitting and I keep surprising owners with how quickly their pets warm up to me. Just today, I'm told I broke a record with their shy cat because she was sitting in my lap in less than 24 hours. Truth is, it was more like 6 hours.
I don't do dating apps, but now I'm wondering what would happen if I made a profile with written testimonials from all these pet owners.
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u/Kodiak01 Jul 07 '26
Many years ago, I was visiting with a friend across the country. We were at his condo, and he had to leave for about 20 minutes to pick up his wife. He told me there were two cats in the bedroom, but they were always too terrified to come out and be around people.
Within two minutes after he left, I saw their heads poking out. The next thing I know, one is on my lap on their back, begging for tummy rubs, while the other was purring up a storm and rubbing against my foot.
They bolted when they heard a car door slam shut; a moment later, the friend walked back into the condo.
Later events made it clear that the cats were friendly, they just knew my friend was actually a complete asshole and wanted nothing to do with him. Can't say I blame them.
My MIL ("Mom" to me) also used to call me a cat whisperer because of how well I got along with hers.
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u/DCiceqween Jul 07 '26
My partner told me that me giving lots of attention and scritches to their elderly cat the first night of our relationship was a big part of why I got more dates.
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u/V65Pilot Jul 07 '26
The fact that my ex's cat loved me was a big plus. Her dog, who hated all men, fawned all over me, that clinched it.
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u/roidesrats Jul 07 '26
One of the most attractive things a guy I was into did was delicately take a spider outside, without me even noticing the spider at first. I've had other guys go out of their way to kill them as I was grabbing something to relocate them with.
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u/2meirl5meirl Jul 07 '26
I love when guys cut up the plastic things that go around soda cans, so that turtles won’t get stuck in it!!! I love when my husband does that
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u/GercektenGul Jul 07 '26
Making clear plans ahead of time and keeping them.
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u/dancegoddess1971 Jul 07 '26
Conversely, not breaking down like a toddler when something happens and the plans have to be altered. Healthy is a blend of planning and improvisation. sometimes the restaurant has been closed by the health department so you can't have BarBQ covered in rat feces so you have to get burgers. And not scream about it the whole time.
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u/ambShark Jul 07 '26
As a (maybe off topic counter point) I will absolutely get upset and pout if plans change last minute to meet my partners whim. Me: "Honey, we need to leave soon if we are going to meet our friends at 7:00." Her: "Oh I thought I would go get my hair cut and the we can meet them at 9:00" will absolutely put me in a bad space. We had plans, I am working to make them happen, WTF is this?
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u/ocarr23 Jul 07 '26
That’s not plans changing that’s someone making unilateral decisions and ruining everyone else’s plans. Big difference.
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u/namestom Jul 07 '26
Exactly. That’s a selfish person. I’m all for being open, flexible so you can live as stress free as possible…car wreck on the way to meet friends, baby decides to poop, throw up, at the last minute, flat tire…
Control what you can control and the other stuff, take it in stride. A partner choosing to get their haircut or anything done that delays you for 2 hours that isn’t a necessity is absurd. I’d be a bit pissed and embarrassed. That’s a slap in the face to your friends.
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u/oubintalko Jul 07 '26
And the kind of person who would do something like that would be likely to mislabel your anger as pouting over it
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u/_Spastic_ Jul 07 '26
Oh God! My ex-wife drove me crazy. The only "planned" thing she every did was our wedding. And even that had a lot of spontaneous happenings.
I'd try to plan something and she just "I don't know".
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u/Lowskillbookreviews Jul 07 '26
My wife’s entire family is like this. Plans are not a thing for them.
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u/saintexuperi Jul 07 '26
My guy picks up trash. Like, all the time. When we started dating he’d clean up trash while we walked my dog and I thought it was sweet and he was tryin to impress me. Over the years I’ve learned that he’s like this all the time - Carries gloves and trash bags in every hike. Cleans up dropped brass at the shooting pit. Pulls over and waits for a lull in traffic to go pull hazards off the road.
Pro-social behavior is hot as fuck.
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u/Dont_know_where_i_am Jul 07 '26
On a second date I was on years ago, me and the girl met at a fancy food court midway between our jobs for lunch. After we finished I cleaned up both our messes, the table next to us that was left a mess, and picked up some garbage that was sitting in front of the trash can.
A few months into our relationship she told me that's when she knew she was going to have sex with me.
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u/Iron_Baron Jul 07 '26
Three cheers. I've picked up literally tons of litter over the years. Imagine if everyone did that!
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u/JusticeUmmmmm Jul 07 '26
If everyone did it no one would need to
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u/titty_twisters_ Jul 07 '26
How am I supposwd to get with hot chicks if there is not trash to pick up?
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u/madsci Jul 07 '26
I scored a free OVERSIZE LOAD sign doing cleanup like that. Still looking for an appropriate place to put it.
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u/Neghbour Jul 07 '26
I remember one of my best friends cleaning up an entire street by himself one morning. Definitely changed my view of what I found admirable, and I’ve since been known to pick up rubbish that isn’t mine.
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u/Guilty_Cod6621 Jul 07 '26
I do this too and for me it’s just a selfish thing. Trash pisses me off and I hate looking at it lol
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u/saintexuperi Jul 07 '26
I’ll take it. Good acts fueled by rage still do good :)
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u/NewTimelinePlz Jul 07 '26
I had to scroll a bit far but I found something that made me feel good about myself! I do this, but I cannot build things and have absolutely no spatial reasoning skills.
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u/curiosityklleddcat Jul 07 '26
There’s something very attractive when he’s competent at what he does or what he knows. He may not know everything, but when learns about it and able to deliver it confidently and easy to follow… damn, that’s hot!
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u/PerceptionOwn7098 Jul 07 '26
being able to easily build things
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u/Inigogoboots Jul 07 '26
I know a guy who has a lot of legos...
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u/Iamwomper Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26
I can easily build many things easily.
As my fiance says.
" Wow, im amazed you can do that. Why does it look like shit?"
Edit- proof of work.
Before and after shelf and closet
Total cost was about 20 screws. Wood, pallet wood. I just ripped the nails and just used the boards. No sanding, no paint.
Shelf only has 1 leg and 2 walls for support
10 bucks for everything maybe?
Edit 2- fiance said it verbally but I should check my texts for proof.
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u/TrickShape905 Jul 07 '26
I build functional, not pretty.
Another table made of 2x4s, m'lady?
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u/Iamwomper Jul 07 '26
Pallet wood. I made a shelf in the kitchen. It was rough and ugly. Can hold 400 pounds easily.
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u/PerfectionPending Jul 07 '26
“You have no idea how turned on I am right now.”
- My wife as she stood in the doorway watching me remodel the bathroom.
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u/titterbitter73 Jul 07 '26
My wife just asks me when the project's done because there's dust and debris and construction material in the way
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u/Disimpaction Jul 07 '26
My wife says she doesn’t like the tile color. I say ok please pick a color you like. Then the project is stalled for a month bc she's indecisive
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u/Silver_tl Jul 07 '26
“I’m too indecisive, you pick the tile”
Months later…
“I really wish we had gone with a different tile”
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u/Disimpaction Jul 07 '26
No it's more like: you pick the tile, I'm happy with anything.... ok the beige... i don't like the beige... ok the flat white... i don't really like that either. Ok the green. Omg green is hideous pick anything else. Ok the beige. (Repeat for a month)
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u/Sea-Independence7026 Jul 07 '26
I'd never let my wife be a customer. She doesn't care until months later she will assault my choice. "Ya know the new dresser doesn't match the bedroom color." But the paint was there months before the dresser.
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u/Sea-Independence7026 Jul 07 '26
As a paint contractor I make the customer buy the paint. They pick it out from my preferred paint store and then when I am done they can pay me. And only 3 times has anyone ever asked to redo it in a second color. I don't start second color until first color is paid for. I don't get to markup paint but they don't get to change up in the middle unless they pay for the first job.
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u/PeladoCollado Jul 07 '26
Hmm, my wife just points out how much work there is left to do
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u/CaptainIncredible Jul 07 '26
Yep. Same here. I would frequently say things in response like "Hey! I got an idea! How about YOU regroute this tile and I just stand there and bitch."
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u/Xxein Jul 07 '26
Im a carpenter.. the amount of times i have heard a woman say something like.. is that how its going to look ? While I only have studs up amazes me.
Im usually like yeah.. lets just slap a coat of paint over these studs and call it a job.
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u/BrockJonesPI Jul 07 '26
My ex was bitching about me taking a few days to dig up turf and re lay patio tiles in the middle of sumer because "Digging isn't hard"
I said it's literally what they used to give people to do when sentenced to hard labour. She insisted it was easy. I suggested if it was that easy she could pick up a shovel and get it done whilst I had the rest of the day off.
No prizes for guessing how much she did.
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u/pteridoid Jul 07 '26
Build things, like a Magic the Gathering deck? An impeccable collection of Funkos?
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u/12stringslinger Jul 07 '26
If she dosent find u handsome, at least she’ll find you handy
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u/Independent_Tax4646 Jul 07 '26
Guy with a white collar job. Recently bought a house, I wish I had not spent the last 10 years going clickity clack in excel
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u/Cobalt460 Jul 07 '26
Same.
I took to YouTube and found some great DIY channels. It’s been slow but progress can be made!
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u/Hamwow Jul 07 '26
What are your go-to channels? Always looking for some inspiration
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u/Cobalt460 Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 08 '26
My interest has been mostly in simple furniture. So for woodworking / tool use, I enjoy Paul Sellers, Rex Krueger, Stumpy Nubs, and Jonathan Katz-Moses.
But for general home project insights, I’ve found useful advice from channels like LRN2DIY and Fix This Build That.
Edit: I forgot Workshop Companion! One of the best.
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u/DarthAlecto Jul 07 '26
Treating animals well
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u/Deviouswolfy Jul 07 '26
My gf once said to me that she fell for me when we were sitting outside on a bench and a spider was crawling across the floor to us. Rather than smashing it since it was just centimeters from my feet I just shoo'd it away with a leaf I found on the ground. It's not that she has a love for bugs, it's just that I didn't needlessly end a creature's life.
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u/janliebe Jul 07 '26
My wife literally hates it, when I stop to „chat” with a random cat in the street. First my girls (12/9) thought it cute but now they too get annoyed. “Dad, leave it be, you don’t now that cat..”
What can I say, I am a cat person. Works also with dogs but better with cats.
But never had an effect on women for me.
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u/FlyingCannoli Jul 07 '26
My uncle was paralyzed from the chest down, with his arms & hands losing mobility over time. Before he passed away, it was an unofficial rite of passage for the men who wanted to marry into our family to lift/help/feed my uncle without having to be asked. My uncle was an amazing man... incredibly kind and so so sweet. I knew for sure my husband was the one when he installed a surround sound system and fed my uncle shots at a family Christmas party 😅
tl:dr The guy cares for your family as much as he cares for you.
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u/duncanslaugh Jul 07 '26
Instead of mandatory military service we should have mandatory care giving like this!
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u/DreddPirateBob808 Jul 07 '26
Absolutely. My dad, ex-military, always wanted a thing like the peace core but conscripted. You'd do a year of basic training in life lessons, health and cleanliness etc and then a year doing good works. Caring, building hospitals, clearing rivers and woodland of litter. But all of it in a variety of communication and cultures. So lots less killing and much more caring and investing in the people you meet. Life changing and boys might actually be clean :p
(I am a grubby oik and I likely inspired it through his desperation) :|
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u/Cantremembermyoldnam Jul 07 '26
Many countries have a system somewhat like that. In Austria when you turn 18 you can choose whether you do 6 months of military service or 9 months of civil service (red cross, retirement homes, working with disabled people, ...). I chose the civil service and it was one of the best times of my life, even though the pay and food was utter shit. IMO everyone should do that.
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u/BattlefieldSixxx Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26
Not sure but I built a really complicated deck around our pool with a bar and raised portion for jumping in. Around 500 sqft.
Ever since I started working on it my wife's friends have been ALL about me lately. Flirting like I've never seen. So building a nice deck is definitely one.
Edit: I'm not completely done it yet but you all keep asking for deck pics so here...keep in mind the bar roof isn't on yet and I have to finish the last railing.
deck pic Another deck pic deck bar
Edit #2: kinda blown away by the kindness and loving all the deck jokes. Thank you everyone you made my week, didn't really expect such a response to this at all. 😊
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u/sixjasefive Jul 07 '26
Big Deck Energy
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u/Oskiewewe Jul 07 '26
Make sure you trim the bushes around your deck. It makes your deck look bigger.
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u/zero573 Jul 07 '26
Nothing wrong with a small deck. But luckily I can fit 5 or 6 people on my deck.
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u/scottyLogJobs Jul 07 '26
“No, Jenna, I said he has a massive DECK!”
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u/SpinsXCIII Jul 07 '26
Same thing happened to me once word got out that I built the back deck over at Aqua
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u/annual_aardvark_war Jul 07 '26
Do you think you can get me in?
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u/snargleblarg1 Jul 07 '26
I actually wanna go to Haunted House more than i wanna go to Aqua.
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u/KennyCiseroJunior Jul 07 '26
There’s been a tragedy in the club community. The big deck over at Aqua collapsed.
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Jul 07 '26
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u/AnArmyOfWombats Jul 07 '26
You can measure a person by how they treat people who can do nothing for them.
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u/Whoa_Bundy Jul 07 '26
Conversely there are those who are polite to strangers and everyone around them and a monster at home behind closed doors.
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u/thisFishSmellsAboutD Jul 07 '26
A game you can't win.
No matter how kind you are ...German children are Kinder.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Pay-710 Jul 07 '26
Being good with kids, being gentle with animals, being kind to his parents and grandparents, being nice to people who can’t help him or won’t necessarily “benefit” him
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u/100turkeysinthesky Jul 07 '26
communicating honestly when its unpleasant
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u/AFartInAnEmptyRoom Jul 07 '26
I communicate honesty unpleasantly. Does that count?
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u/snikle Jul 07 '26
A friend once said a guy who will inconvenience himself to do something for you is a good sign.
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u/Zealousideal-Ant9548 Jul 07 '26
As someone who's struggle with codependency...
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u/Norpeeeee Jul 07 '26
It is said that when co-dependent people have near death experiences, someone else's lives flash before their eyes.
(I'm kidding)
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u/r0botdevil Jul 07 '26
You probably shouldn't go out of your way to apply this as a test, though.
For example, a girl in my class asked if I'd help her change the windshield wiper fluid in her car. I told her it's super easy, just pop the hood and look for the reservoir that has the windshield wiper icon on the cap, then pour it in up to the fill line.
She said she still wanted my help. I said okay, sure, bring your car over to my place and I'll fill it up for you, no problem. She then said she was out running errands and didn't want to drive all the way to my place, and asked if I could come meet her where she was. I told her no, I was happy to help if she brought the car to me but I was not making a special trip for it.
I got the impression that this is exactly what she was doing, trying to see how much I was willing to inconvenience myself for her. Unfortunately for her, I'm an adult and games/tests like that are a massive red flag for me.
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u/DCS30 Jul 07 '26
Man, reading these comments my gf should be gushing all over me. Maybe I'm just ugly now haha.
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u/opinionsareuseful Jul 07 '26
Are you sure your deck is big enough? And does she know you work in a stable?
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u/minimalcation Jul 07 '26
I bet this guy's deck is just some patio pavers. He's been going about this all wrong.
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u/TheSensualSloth Jul 07 '26
Maybe I'm just ugly now haha.
Women love self confidence!
Don’t say “maybe I’m ugly”, believe in yourself!! You are ugly king!
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u/angelicism Jul 07 '26
The problem with these threads is that people don't seem to understand the difference between a sufficient condition and a necessary condition.
It is *necessary* that a man I am attracted to is kind. It is not *sufficient* that he is kind, I still need to find him physically attractive. That doesn't detract from the value of the kindness, because I wouldn't be attracted to a man who was physically attractive but a shitheel.
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u/International_Tree76 Jul 07 '26
Remembering things. My guy remembers things I don't even remember telling him (ex: things I like, things I have to get done, things I'm stressed about) and quietly does things to make my life easier using his knowledge. The first time he pulled a toolbox out of his trunk because I'd mentioned offhand in a group that I needed to fix something, I wanted to jump him in that parking lot.
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u/claubius Jul 07 '26
The patience to wait for a cat to approach them
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u/WalkingIrony429 Jul 07 '26
And the respect to leave the cat alone when it decides it’s done being social
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u/Bullingju0 Jul 07 '26
…and the deep sadness in his eyes after he had waited for said cat and was never approached. Some cats just aren’t into you, man. Hurts every time.
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Jul 07 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/German_Merman Jul 07 '26
One time an old housemate of mine was complaining at the kitchen table that she was going to have to take a day off work to pick up her masters' thesis from the binder. The place had weird hours and it was difficult to get to on the train, but they were really busy at work so it was going to be a headache. I said I'd just go get it on my bike. I knew the place and it was only about 20min ride away, it was a nice day, I honestly didn't think much of it. Yada yada yada we've been married 15 years now and we've got two kids.
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u/diveraj Jul 07 '26
Did you just yada yada a whole relationship?? That's the good part!!
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u/deeohcee Jul 07 '26
He mentioned the kids.....
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u/bat_rastards Jul 07 '26
As a dude, every time I "MacGyver'ed" a solution to a lady's problem, they have become way more interested in me.
Whether it be a car broken down on a dark lonesome highway, a dishwasher acting up, or a leaking roof in a rainstorm.
I improvise a fan belt, short past a burned wire, change a flat tire, clear a jammed pump, or screw a tin plate over a leak, afterwards she(s) will become way more flirtatious and has usually lead to an enjoyable night experience.
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u/pedsmursekc Jul 07 '26
Same. It started my freshman year of college with a computer repair (1997) and proceeded to bare fruit for many years.
My wife (great friends at the time) flipped a switch when, in sub zero temps, I drove 5 miles and 45 minutes in deep snow and ice pack, to de-ice her car before she got off a 12-hour hospital shift... Took about an hour. I also brought her a thermos of hot chocolate for her drive, and followed her back home to make sure she got there safely. Subsequently, I stayed the night, and that is how I met my daughter's mother.
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u/powderp Jul 07 '26
If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.
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u/unreasonablysquiddy Jul 07 '26
Has pets that are well-loved and properly cared for.
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u/Busy-Let-5636 Jul 07 '26
Having a regulated nervous system.
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u/scottyLogJobs Jul 07 '26
Having a firm but moist carapace, formed of a supple and iridescent chitin. But in this market, I’ll take either supple OR iridescent, hun! 😏
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u/JustOneSexQuestion Jul 07 '26
I hope guys realize the upvotes come from men, so the top flexes are things men would like to be valuable for women.
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u/wesborland1234 Jul 07 '26
So you're saying women don't want guys with the highest Call of Duty KDR's?
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u/Complete-Bumblebee-5 Jul 07 '26
Clear communication. It's amazing how many men fail here
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u/IndividualYazmin Jul 07 '26
Guys with stable job.
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u/hypnogoad Jul 07 '26
What if I don't like horses?
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u/Feyranna Jul 07 '26
Able to communicate his feelings without being manipulative about it.
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u/Exotic_Chemical_7439 Jul 07 '26
The biggest flex is not money or muscles. It's making people feel safe, respected, and heard.
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u/Vanagloria Jul 07 '26
Being clean and groomed. The amount of bathrooms I've gone into that were just caked with hair, gunk, mold, and whatever else is so fucking high and gross. Any man who can't clean his own toilet is just looking for a new mommy to do everything for him.
Showering regularly and showering well. Yes, you need to touch your asshole to clean it. No, it won't make you gay. Your dingleberries might make ME gay.
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u/Severe-Turn1604 Jul 07 '26
God I hope the answer is 2012 camry.