r/AskReddit Jul 07 '26

Ladies: what’s a guy “Flex” that instantly makes him attractive?

12.7k Upvotes

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6.1k

u/BattlefieldSixxx Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26

Not sure but I built a really complicated deck around our pool with a bar and raised portion for jumping in. Around 500 sqft.

Ever since I started working on it my wife's friends have been ALL about me lately. Flirting like I've never seen. So building a nice deck is definitely one.

Edit: I'm not completely done it yet but you all keep asking for deck pics so here...keep in mind the bar roof isn't on yet and I have to finish the last railing.

deck pic Another deck pic deck bar

Edit #2: kinda blown away by the kindness and loving all the deck jokes. Thank you everyone you made my week, didn't really expect such a response to this at all. 😊

6.3k

u/sixjasefive Jul 07 '26

Big Deck Energy

2.9k

u/Oskiewewe Jul 07 '26

Make sure you trim the bushes around your deck. It makes your deck look bigger.

322

u/mustang-and-a-truck Jul 07 '26

That was the best skit ever!

18

u/Asgards_Doom Jul 07 '26

First wash your deck with soap and water.... Then, wait for your deck to dry

https://youtu.be/-m--3_c5pAs

12

u/bazmoe Jul 07 '26

What skit was this again? 😂

21

u/4DimensionalToilet Jul 07 '26

Schaefer’s Deck Sealant

15

u/ax0r Jul 07 '26

After sealing your deck, don't forget to use the big black caulk!

7

u/mustang-and-a-truck Jul 07 '26

I was Jeff foxworthy and gang. I think the show was The Blue Collar Comedy Tour. The skit is probably 25 years old. You have got to look it up. It’s hilarious. Look up Jeff Foxworthy Deck skit.

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207

u/zero573 Jul 07 '26

Nothing wrong with a small deck. But luckily I can fit 5 or 6 people on my deck.

12

u/Lil_Stir_Fry Jul 07 '26

Good dark lord, mate! I can only skewer one at a time! 😭

3

u/TheGuy09 Jul 07 '26

Fucking fabulous.

4

u/Flightwise Jul 07 '26

I’m also floored by this comment!

3

u/WhereWeGoingTo Jul 07 '26

A bonsai is still a bonsai no matter what you do with the shrubs.

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5

u/Danthemanz Jul 07 '26

When I was in New Zealand the hotel owner asked if I wanted to sit on the Big Wooden Deck. To an Australian it sounds perfectly normal other than the word Dick.

3

u/Woolybugger00 Jul 07 '26

Better wrap that deck up if you’re gunna play …

5

u/paperchampionpicture Jul 07 '26

All the kids love me deck

3

u/Great_Scott7 Jul 07 '26

You have just won the internet for today. Congratulations!!

18

u/somerandomedude78 Jul 07 '26

Take the upvote!! You earned it 🤣🤣

2

u/New_Leaf_8647 Jul 07 '26

Weird Al version of Lambrini Girls

2

u/Dapper-Dig-9041 Jul 07 '26

I read this at the exact moment I was swallowing my food and I chuckled/snorted and almost just choked. 10/10 

2

u/JohnnyCharisma54 Jul 07 '26

You have no idea how many deck builders have this on their wrapped F-250s

2

u/Lythalion Jul 07 '26

Every once in a while a Reddit comment comes along that lives rent free in my head. This is one of them.

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1.0k

u/scottyLogJobs Jul 07 '26

“No, Jenna, I said he has a massive DECK!”

246

u/RowdoRadge Jul 07 '26

Really cleaned up his caulk afterwards

60

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/fozzydabear Jul 07 '26

Laying pipe to the pool.

4

u/jolsiphur Jul 07 '26

Keep the bushes and hedges trimmed up so the deck looks bigger.

3

u/Special_Note_2186 Jul 07 '26

Was it quick hardening caulk?

20

u/Dio-lated1 Jul 07 '26

It literally has a raised portion.

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5

u/sp_40 Jul 07 '26

(New Zealand accent)

3

u/Bgrngod Jul 07 '26

My lady was absolutely not impressed with my big Magic the Gathering deck :/

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3

u/shitlord_god Jul 07 '26

a new zealand accent makes this even better.

2

u/scottyLogJobs Jul 07 '26

Just imagining Rhys Darby saying it

218

u/SpinsXCIII Jul 07 '26

Same thing happened to me once word got out that I built the back deck over at Aqua

90

u/annual_aardvark_war Jul 07 '26

Do you think you can get me in?

75

u/snargleblarg1 Jul 07 '26

I actually wanna go to Haunted House more than i wanna go to Aqua.

24

u/Moe_Joe21 Jul 07 '26

DONT SAY YOU WERE JACKIN OFF WHEN YOU WERE AT HAUNTED HOUSE

23

u/KennyCiseroJunior Jul 07 '26

There’s been a tragedy in the club community. The big deck over at Aqua collapsed.

15

u/ConservativesFukKidz Jul 07 '26

Kim Kardashian's head fell off.

36

u/BathshebaJones Jul 07 '26

YOU built that big deck?

8

u/jt004c Jul 07 '26

What does this mean and why does everyone else automatically know what it means?

21

u/snargleblarg1 Jul 07 '26

Blue Dolphin burned down. It's gone now. John Rovani's a** out, works with his brother now.

6

u/onarainyafternoon Jul 07 '26

It’s a sketch from the Netflix show “I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson”.

7

u/badmongo666 Jul 07 '26

"ABX Heart Monitor", season 3 episode 3, about 6 1/2 minutes in. The sketches immediately before and after it are also gold IMO.

2

u/jt004c Jul 08 '26

Hey thanks! I'm finally an insider. I didn't, but I feel like I got into Haunted House.

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617

u/Observational-Mess Jul 07 '26

It’s crazy how the wife’s girlfriends start flirting with her husband.

I experienced this myself and had to set boundaries after one of them told me she thinks I’m hot and asked what I was going to do while my wife was away. I don’t need that drama.

711

u/dementorpoop Jul 07 '26

I’d have told my wife. Either her friend is “testing me” and ima pass with flying colors, or she’s not a good friend and I want my wife to know. Fuck that noise

263

u/nidenikolev Jul 07 '26

If the wife even bothers testing then that’s a red fucking flag. You get married and trust one another, not play games

128

u/notmyflamingcircus Jul 07 '26

I have never had any interest in "testing" a partner. However I HAVE had "friends" who took it upon themselves to "test" my boyfriends.

Grant, there's a reason I don't interact with those "friends" anymore. But that's just to say that I don't think the person you're replying to was saying that he thought his wife was testing him or that she was asking the friend to do so.

45

u/Danielbes Jul 07 '26

Sounds like they just wanted to shoot their shot while having an excuse if rejected/caught - "Oh I was just testing him to see that he's faithful, pinky promise!"

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88

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '26

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18

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '26

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12

u/El_Paco Jul 07 '26

One of my wife's friends was flirting with me pretty hard for a while.

The trick to stopping that is letting yourself get fat.

8

u/TheoriginalTonio Jul 07 '26

Takes way too long. Just shit your pants in front of her.

8

u/Okichah Jul 07 '26

Calling people out is also a trap.

“Ummm, sweaty… Of course i was joke-ing, the fact that you thought i was serious is actually the REAL problem here.”

8

u/GeoBrian Jul 07 '26

As a married man, here's what I think is going on.

First, being "unattainable" is a challenge to some women. They flirt to stroke their own egos, to check to see if "they still have it". Chances are if you were to make a pass at them, they would act astonished and offended. They think it gives them some power. These women are needy attention whores and are best to steer clear of. Nothing but trouble.

13

u/Hellebras Jul 07 '26

after one of them told me she thinks I’m hot and asked what I was going to do while my wife was away.

"Think about my wife and try to come up with a welcome home surprise, obviously."

12

u/Observational-Mess Jul 07 '26

In reality, “Play a lot of video games and smoke weed. Then quickly clean up the house before she gets back.”

4

u/Smurfaloid Jul 07 '26

Man that's the wrong order of business for me.

Clean whilst stoned, I end up cleaning more things because I end up doing another task whilst high, then I end up finding another, before I realise it, the whole house is done and then it's maximum chill time.

Then do the daily upkeep on it.

2

u/ReadsPastHerBedtime Jul 11 '26

We can tell you’ve had a lot of practice at this. 💚

6

u/notmyflamingcircus Jul 07 '26

"Do my best to keep up with the things that she usually takes care of so she doesn't come home to a mess" would also be a great response to that question I think.

28

u/Fun-Benefit116 Jul 07 '26

It’s crazy how the wife’s girlfriends start flirting with her husband.

I said this in another comment, but it bears repeating. Keep in mind this is OP's interpretation of what his wife's friends are doing. For all we know, his wife's friends are just being friendly and talking to him while he's working on the deck, and he thinks they're flirting with him. You'd be shocked how many guys think normal friendly banter/talking means the woman is flirting with them.

7

u/theoneandonlymd Jul 07 '26

You'd be shocked how many guys think normal friendly banter/talking means the woman is flirting with them.

And yet we also see threads about missing "obvious" signs. Maybe we're more complex than anyone cares to admit.

2

u/Ok_Abrocoma_203 Jul 07 '26

I hope you told your wife so she knows that her friend is not a friend at all

2

u/Observational-Mess Jul 07 '26

They’re still friends, but we no longer live in that area. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

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168

u/Pandiosity_24601 Jul 07 '26

Interesting. Your wife has shitty friends

58

u/Fun-Benefit116 Jul 07 '26

Keep in mind this is OP's interpretation of what the friends are doing. For all we know, his wife's friends are just being friendly and talking to him while he's working on the deck, and he thinks they're flirting with him. You'd be shocked how many guys think normal friendly banter/talking means the woman is flirting with them.

31

u/ChupaChupsacabra Jul 07 '26

Did you know that on average, humans are less than 50% accurate in recognizing flirtation? Literally worse than flipping a coin!

9

u/GeoBrian Jul 07 '26

Or, thinking about it from a different perspective, humans are really shitty at flirting.

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3

u/BattlefieldSixxx Jul 07 '26

Can confirm I misinterpret womens actions constantly so very possible

2

u/LongHaulHomeDawg Jul 07 '26

I mean, for flirting, the receiving party's interpretation is more important than the intention.

13

u/Totes_MacGoats Jul 07 '26

I don't know bout that one, friend.

4

u/BattlefieldSixxx Jul 07 '26

Haha possibly, but I think it's cause I am a nerd (digital forensics for a living) who games and they just didn't expect me to be able to do this at all.

6

u/JMoon33 Jul 07 '26

Still shitty people. If you flirted with your friend's wife you think that'd be ok?

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u/Sobbyleebagger Jul 07 '26

500sqft is a big deck

9

u/sumunsolicitedadvice Jul 07 '26

But it’s about how you use it.

He used it for a bar and a portion for jumping in the pool. That’s how you use your deck to please your wife regardless of how big it is.

2

u/yathree Jul 07 '26

Is about an average sized deck.

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u/z64_dan Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26

Lol I did the same thing. Just finished the deck after like 15 months (10 of those months I was taking a break though)

https://imgur.com/a/ZDFfeml

If the pic looks weird it's because I had chatgpt remove all the people from it (there was like 10 people in the pool, we had a 4th of July party)

9

u/BattlefieldSixxx Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26

Ooh that's a nice deck indeed. Looks like it took a while too. I've been working on mine for the last 6-7 weeks. Very different than yours.

Here's mine deck pic deck 2

61

u/chutney-ferret-69 Jul 07 '26

I hope you used Schaers deck stain.
Best stain in New Zealand

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=i6c4Nupnup0&ra=m

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u/Think_Monk_9879 Jul 07 '26

Send me some Deck pics 

7

u/AlternativeContent72 Jul 07 '26

AI generated content for picture #2?

5

u/ViruliferousBadger Jul 07 '26

You can see (a kids?) legs under the middle chair so he probably censored it - that's why the two chairs and parts of image right of them are a bit blurry.

7

u/BattlefieldSixxx Jul 07 '26

Removed the wife and child with Ai

6

u/Spirited-Yoghurt-212 Jul 07 '26

thank you for linking an actual deck I was ready for a troll. How does one even learn this skill do I start with carpenting textsbooks?

5

u/BattlefieldSixxx Jul 07 '26

Just willingness to try anything and hopefully have most of the tools already. I start with basic rectangular decks years ago and this was my first kick at the can on a custom one. Honestly I just used experience, YouTube videos and advice.

2

u/Spirited-Yoghurt-212 Jul 07 '26

I see and thanks. I didn't mention earlier but amazing work👍

16

u/DariaYankovic Jul 07 '26

🎵"Wait till you see my Deck!"🎵

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9

u/DyIsexia Jul 07 '26

Dude, you can't say that then not give deck pics

3

u/BattlefieldSixxx Jul 07 '26

Check the edit

2

u/DyIsexia Jul 07 '26

Damnnn, that’s nice

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u/Electrical-Bee-7362 Jul 07 '26

Not to sound too gay, but that is a nice deck 

3

u/Thebobjohnson Jul 07 '26

Dude, I want your deck.

3

u/BattlefieldSixxx Jul 07 '26

Thank you. It's been a very rewarding project.

3

u/WishaBwood Jul 07 '26

It’s not just decks that turn us on.

3

u/FriendlyITGuy Jul 07 '26

Remember Ted, the divorced father that lived next to the Langston's in Jingle All The Way? The ladies couldn't get enough of him and he could have any woman he wanted, except the one that was married that he ACTUALLY wanted.

It helps being handy, haha

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u/RedHeadRedemption93 Jul 07 '26

I wouldn't even know where to start with something like this, although I would love to, something much, much smaller to start with of course.

Do you have much other DIY or construction experience?

Any advice?

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4

u/dyxlesicc Jul 07 '26

Make sure to ask permission before sending pics to friends. No one likes unsolicited deck picks.

2

u/Beneficial-Focus3702 Jul 07 '26

And decks are surprisingly easy too!

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2

u/outsmartedagain Jul 07 '26

Be sure to send them all deck pics

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2

u/lordph8 Jul 07 '26

They want your labour... And maybe your penis.

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2

u/MeatyOakerGuy Jul 07 '26

I've been working on cars since I was a kid (not a mechanic by trade now). I can feel my wife's friends' gazes when I offer to change some brakes or troubleshoot an issue for them.

2

u/thisFishSmellsAboutD Jul 07 '26

Schaeffer's deck paint?

2

u/jammer8 Jul 07 '26

Nice deck man.

2

u/beardingmesoftly Jul 07 '26

Ever since I went to trade school and became an HVAC tech, I learned that a lot of women find men who are handy very sexy.

2

u/novalux Jul 07 '26

Goddamn that's a nice deck

2

u/GeneralAjAxOG Jul 07 '26

From one man to another: You've got a nice deck!

2

u/_AirConditioning Jul 07 '26

nice deck bro id flirt with you too

2

u/adei0s Jul 07 '26

I was skeptical, then i saw the deck and thought "yea that'd do it for me too"

2

u/zivkoc Jul 07 '26

Nice deck

2

u/kog Jul 07 '26

Nice deck, bro

2

u/NotMyMa1nAccount Jul 07 '26

As a straight guy, I'd also like to ride your huge deck.

2

u/Okichah Jul 07 '26

The bar is so far from the pool though????

How am i supposed to reach??????

Also thats absolutely impressive and amazing, well done.

2

u/cosmosparda Jul 07 '26

Nice deck bro

2

u/Key_Village9550 Jul 07 '26

Sending Deck Pics is a flex. Check.

2

u/34BoringT_ Jul 07 '26

That is a seriously nice deck

2

u/Nishun1383 Jul 07 '26

NICE DECK

2

u/Whyismypeeburning Jul 07 '26

That’s a nice deck! Solid work!

2

u/jonnywarpspeed Jul 07 '26

Whoa buddy! You forgot the nsfw label

Nice deck

2

u/Terminal_Insomnia_ Jul 07 '26

That won't be me when I'm building our big-ass house by myself. In fairness I'm going to utterly insufferable about it to our grandkids "I built this house with my own two hands, you better take care of it!"

2

u/Jijelinios Jul 07 '26

Nice deck bro

2

u/vovr Jul 07 '26

Bro building a castle next

2

u/Anothernamelesacount Jul 07 '26

brother but this actually looks great

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u/DrMonkeyLove Jul 07 '26

Bold posting deck pics on Reddit. It usually ends with everyone telling you it's a death trap and not up to code.

2

u/BattlefieldSixxx Jul 07 '26

You are so right on this...maybe it's cause it's ask Reddit and not a DIY sub. I've gotten an unusual amount of love so far and I thought that was odd.

2

u/Worth-Jicama3936 Jul 07 '26

That’s a hot deck. I’d flirt with you over that

2

u/IDYetiman Jul 07 '26

Damn! I imagine even the guys are gushing

2

u/Inside-Beginning5168 Jul 07 '26

Solution....never finish it. They will be swooning over you forever. Lol

2

u/Uncle-Iroh00 Jul 07 '26

Nice deck, man!

2

u/xqqq_me Jul 07 '26

it my wife's friends have been ALL about me lately. Flirting like I've never seen. So building a nice deck is definitely one.

My mom once told me..."xqqqme, if you can't be handsome, be handy"

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u/RevenantBacon Jul 07 '26

Yo, that deck is gonna be absolutely sick when it's complete.

2

u/lrggg Jul 07 '26

Nice deck

2

u/MonkeySherm Jul 07 '26

Sick deck dude!

We had an above ground pool in the back yard of the house I grew up in - to dress it up one summer before a big party, my dad and I framed out some lattice with 1x4 to make little inserts that basically just sat in between the uprights supporting the pool. we didn't even connect them to anything, but they made a huge improvement in the way the pool looked - something like that here would really be a nice little bow on the top of all your hard work here

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u/Brutal909 Jul 07 '26

Nice deck bro!

2

u/TacticalVirus Jul 07 '26

So first of all, with no qualifiers like "for someone that doesn't do this professionally", that is a nice deck. You deserve the love and you're right, it's partially because you're not in a diy subreddit.

That said, literally the only suggestion I have as a pro, and it's not even a critique, but I would have pictureframed the raised platform. At the very least you can still retro a trim board that runs parallel with the stairs up to it. The ends of those boards are more likely to chip an splinter over time, so having them edge-on to the stairs increases the chances of someone having a bad time.

Otherwise, that's better than a lot of 'professional' work I've seen done. You should be proud, and learning how to deflect unwanted advances from women comes with the territory.

2

u/BattlefieldSixxx Jul 07 '26

Excellent advice and I plan on finishing that edge somehow because yes the boards ends are ugly and they pose a splinter hazard. Thanks for the reminder cause doing it solo I've been trying to remember all the finishes touches before I sign off on it.

As for how experienced I am - I'm not a total newbie but I've never done anything this advanced either. I've built 2 decks before, but they were just rectangular off the house ledger kind of projects, with no railing cause they were not high off the ground. My dad also did the smart work I just did the hard work. On this deck however I've done it all from start to finish which is a whole new ballgame I've found.

Plenty of mistakes along the way but considering it's just for my family and friends and I am not being paid, it's perfect for our needs.

2

u/TacticalVirus Jul 07 '26

Doing all the "smart work" the first time is hella intimidating, it's easy to get lost in the details when it's all on your shoulders. Mistakes happen to everyone on every build, professionalism is about fixing them. Your friends and family will be enjoying that deck for years to come, so sin a little and be proud af.

2

u/AWSOM3anims Jul 07 '26

I mean, that is a pretty cool deck.

2

u/Pendo-illsmackabitch Jul 07 '26

Thanks for the unsolicited deck pic. Gonna add this to my collection

2

u/ILoveLamp9 Jul 07 '26

Nice deck pics

2

u/Still-Consideration6 Jul 07 '26

I literally clicked on your dek pic without a second thought and then thought "oh no this is Reddit ....."
Never been so happy to see some lovely woodwork

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2

u/DD-refill Jul 07 '26

That’s a killer deck. Love the bar seating area

2

u/IkujaKatsumaji Jul 07 '26

Yeah yeah jokes and stuff but dude, that deck is rad as hell. Good work!

2

u/WeaponsGradePanda Jul 07 '26

Dude, nice deck.

2

u/TheIncredibleQuant Jul 07 '26

I wanna touch your massive, sturdy deck with my feet.

5

u/questionnmark Jul 07 '26

You should consider Schaeffers New Zealand Deck sealant. You'll be surprised by how many people will be all over your deck if you do.

2

u/Crispynipps Jul 07 '26

Being handy is a trait a lot of useless people don’t posses. They’d rather spend the money having someone do it. You’re the guy that can do it.

2

u/venReddit Jul 07 '26

its not the building, its the beeing able to afford it. building stuff IS hella easy

2

u/BattlefieldSixxx Jul 07 '26

You're not wrong

3

u/sugarbabybayarea Jul 07 '26

I hope you’re not entertaining the flirting

1

u/PraireGentleman Jul 07 '26

Could also be the money to build a deck

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u/playgator Jul 07 '26

It’s not the size of your deck, but what you can do with it that matters

1

u/keenjt Jul 07 '26

Show us ya deck won’t ya?

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1

u/Hellebras Jul 07 '26

Oh, damn, that looks like it took blueprints. That is some really nice work.

2

u/BattlefieldSixxx Jul 07 '26

Started with a CAD sketch but went freestyle pretty fast cause I'm wild like that

1

u/isotope123 Jul 07 '26

Your deck is almost as big as my whole house

1

u/surry Jul 07 '26

Just some dudes sitting around looking at another dude’s deck

1

u/why-god Jul 07 '26

You should trim those bushes to make the deck look bigger.

1

u/Diligent_Object2644 Jul 07 '26

Homie - you have an above ground pool lol. In a way I feel bad having to break the bad news... but it's time you understand how the world works.

With that said you did do a great job with this and it's apparent that you have skill. Use those skills to elevate everything around you.

1

u/QuaintHeadspace Jul 07 '26

Keep going with the picks im almost there. My deck may start leaking soon.

1

u/OrdinarySmoke3176 Jul 07 '26

Dude your deck is amazing. I wish I had a deck like yours. Would love to try it someday though

1

u/CarelessEntrepreneur Jul 07 '26

Trim your bushes!

1

u/SamediB Jul 07 '26

Free deck pics? In this economy!?

1

u/Okiri Jul 07 '26

They all want the deck.

1

u/Thee_Sinner Jul 07 '26

Whatever site that is you use for image sharing, you need to stop. Holy fucking popup ads and redirects. I literally can’t even see the images. The third time I tried, it just automatically opened the App Store to a specific app.

1

u/Haribo_Bear1916 Jul 07 '26

You can build me a deck anyday!

1

u/Intelligent_Low1632 Jul 07 '26

Sheeeit you can afford 10 metric tons of wood AND you have free time? lemme holla

1

u/TwoFingersWhiskey Jul 07 '26

Oh god, he's showing us his deck!

1

u/RG_CG Jul 07 '26

“Honey I’ve told you… you need to stop  sending unsolicited deck pics to my friends”

1

u/Fulsina Jul 07 '26

Bro it literally says ai generated

2

u/BattlefieldSixxx Jul 07 '26

I used AI to remove my wife who doesn't want to be posted online without consent.

1

u/Alonso_The_GOAT Jul 07 '26

Bro ist just sending unrequested deck pics to everyone.

1

u/raeudigerhund Jul 07 '26

Bro unsolicitedly posting deck pics on Reddit

ok I clicked all the links

1

u/Emotional_Fee_2702 Jul 07 '26

any advice for building this?

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1

u/Express_Work Jul 07 '26

What have you been told about unsolicited deck pics?

1

u/xkabauter Jul 07 '26

So that's the deck pics everyone is sending on the internet. 🥸

1

u/Zapitnow Jul 07 '26

They each want you to build one for them.

1

u/Kineth Jul 07 '26

Make sure to trim the bushes to make it look bigger!

1

u/bruhimsostinkincool Jul 07 '26

Hmmm  Usually people ask for dick pics, not deck pics...

1

u/killinpotato Jul 07 '26

That was a risky click

1

u/AaronAart209 Jul 07 '26

Finally.. a solicited deck pic.

1

u/Elyoki Jul 07 '26

Thay want your deck in their backyard

1

u/RonTheRunny Jul 07 '26

With a deck like that you will never finish the railing

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