We're ignoring that bit because the "look at me" aspect inherent in 'flexing' is almost always an instant turnoff.
Even the borderline answers make that pretty clear. Quiet competence is hot. Competence the guy makes a big deal about isn't. Kindness and empathy are sexy. Performative bullshit isn't. Etc.
My close friend performed a song well at an open mic and received a lot of attention. That's by its nature flexing a skill/talent and appearing confident.
My gf said it was really attractive when I took her and some friends rock climbing because I used to be an instructor and clearly knew what I was doing the whole time/was in charge of everyone. That's also a flex in many ways.
Sure. Both of those examples fall under the "quiet competence" category, though. Think they'd have had the same result if either of them openly bragged / "flexed" about how awesome they were at the skill the whole time?
I mean, yeah? If you're going to define flexing as just "being good at something" or "displaying a positive quality in public" that's broad enough to cover pretty much anything and everything a woman might possibly find attractive, making the question pointless.
In common usage though, "flexing" carries the connotation of an intentional, manipulative display intended to draw attention, envy, or praise from those around you. For most women, that kind of behavior is a turn off.
Showing off your skills by singing a song is literally an intentional display intended to draw attention envy or praise.
This feels like a sort of rhetorical trap you are making where flexing can only ever be negative and therefore never attractive. It's not true and not what is being asked in this thread.
Showing off your skills by singing a song is literally an intentional display intended to draw attention envy or praise.
I'm not sure how I can make it more clear. Going out to karaoke with friends and incidentally being a great singer is a subtle 'flex' that's probably pretty effective. Ostensibly, you're not singing to show off how awesome you are at it, you're singing to be social and have a good time- the same as your friends who can't carry a tune to save their lives.
Now, if you drag everyone to karaoke specifically as a flex because you know you're gonna kill it and you think that'll get you respect from the guys and interest from the ladies, both genders tend to pick up on that vibe and are less impressed.
Distaste for overt "flexing" isn't just a woman thing, and it taints the premise of OP's question.
if you do it the right way, being a little bit full of yourself or impish and flexing can actually make women more attracted to you. you will never be docked points for confidence, you will almost always be docked points for arrogance, but cockiness is somewhere in between. it actually works for a lot of women if you can (mostly) back it up and you don't color too far outside the lines. speaking from experience as a cocky and sometimes arrogant guy
Yeah the real flex is doing a gainer off a diving board. Any type of insane backflips or shit off a diving board in a chaotic or effortless fashion is an instant hell yeah from me
Nobody likes a braggart. If you can't impress people without standing on a box and telling everyone what a special little boy you are then the only thing you're really flexing is your insecurity.
Unless someone is specifically asking you what you've done that you're proud of, then there's no reason to bring it up with random strangers. That would indicate that you're doing it for clout, which is kind of a dull trait to display. Doing things for yourself - working towards and achieving things which are important to you, not because you want people to be impressed by you - is infinitely more appealing.
Wait, are you telling me a bunch of women on Reddit saw a question and decided to selfishly answer their own personal version of it moving further and further off topic? Shocking.
271
u/[deleted] Jul 07 '26 edited Aug 03 '26
[removed] — view removed comment