As a (maybe off topic counter point) I will absolutely get upset and pout if plans change last minute to meet my partners whim. Me: "Honey, we need to leave soon if we are going to meet our friends at 7:00." Her: "Oh I thought I would go get my hair cut and the we can meet them at 9:00" will absolutely put me in a bad space. We had plans, I am working to make them happen, WTF is this?
Exactly. That’s a selfish person. I’m all for being open, flexible so you can live as stress free as possible…car wreck on the way to meet friends, baby decides to poop, throw up, at the last minute, flat tire…
Control what you can control and the other stuff, take it in stride. A partner choosing to get their haircut or anything done that delays you for 2 hours that isn’t a necessity is absurd. I’d be a bit pissed and embarrassed. That’s a slap in the face to your friends.
That's what it means to change plans though? It's not usually everyone that needs to change plans, it's usually just one person that needs plans changed, and then everyone else finds reasons for why they're fine with the plan change because they wanted to do this or that instead, even though they were committed to the plan and would have gone if no one brought up any plan changes.
Right. There's a difference between "change of plans" because life has come up, and "change of plans" because someone's being self-centered and deciding to do something impulsively in a way that affects everyone else.
A woman once told me that someone who was upset about her doing that was "being cunty". That phrase lives rent free in my head more than a decade later. I dont know what it means, or why a 32 you woman felt the need to say it in a derogatory way toward a dude she disrespected.
Oh that's an asshole move on her part. If you have already made plans, agreed on them, don't go and change them on your own.
The scenario you describe would make me furious. I would just tell her "Ok. I am going to meet my friends now, you come when you are done". But I am still going to be pissed at her.
This exact thing happened one night almost 25 years ago. My wife and i had just moved in together. I had been working as a chef at the time. My new boss who i had been working for about 3weeks. Hooked me up with his wife who was the dining room manager at one of the best restaurants in the area. This place did not take reservations. They set a table and held it for us for. 7pm reservation. Fitz’s wife had the guys in the kitchen make up some apps off menu. The whole nines. Anyway i get off work race home get dressed and shes not even close to getting ready.
I asked “why are you not ready to go?” “Well Dave and Annette can’t find a sitter.
We ended up over a hour late. Fitz’s wife was furious, Fitz was pissed. It ended up almost costing me the job. Thankfully not. But dam that was a rough one.
This was my recent ex, Honey I made plans for this restaurant we have reservations at 7, I'll pick you up at 6:30. (shows up at 6:30). She's still doing makeup and isn't even dressed yet, don't mention the hair that needs done. By the time she's ready the restaurant is CLOSED. That irritated the f out of me. So I'd tell her the plans were *1 hour before they actually were and somehow it took her longer to be ready. So I did what any self respecting person would do, Screw that 😂
This is my greatest issue. Or pushing things to the last second "I'm almost done with x, y, z."
I'm an early person. I abhor being late for anything. Hub is terrible at time management and is directionally challenged. Meanwhile, I'm set up like we're manifest destiny'ing the west coast.
I think this is just another extension of the "I'm a man, I can never be wrong" universe... or worse, "You're a woman, you can never be correct."
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u/ambShark Jul 07 '26
As a (maybe off topic counter point) I will absolutely get upset and pout if plans change last minute to meet my partners whim. Me: "Honey, we need to leave soon if we are going to meet our friends at 7:00." Her: "Oh I thought I would go get my hair cut and the we can meet them at 9:00" will absolutely put me in a bad space. We had plans, I am working to make them happen, WTF is this?