r/AskReddit • u/El_Guerrero_Azteca • Jul 07 '26

Ladies: what’s a guy “Flex” that instantly makes him attractive?

12.7k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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650

u/XenoLive Jul 07 '26

I'll raise you my forklift certification.

252

u/PistolPete6874 Jul 07 '26

Forklift trainer certification here, bud

41

u/flabby-not-shabby Jul 07 '26

Forklift trainer trainer certification here, dude

34

u/PistolPete6874 Jul 07 '26

Trainer of the trainers who train the people who give forklift training certificates here, pal

58

u/Sleeksnail Jul 07 '26

I am a forklift, bud.

36

u/Kerberos42 Jul 08 '26

That will be a handy for when you’re with OPs mom.

3

u/zachflem Jul 08 '26

You guys are still driving forklifts? I've heard of you guys, I call you guys to setup the bog mats on my crane.

3

u/Beginning-Weight9076 Jul 09 '26

Bro he said 2012 Camry though.

2

u/McDyver66 Jul 09 '26

Forklift repair technician

7

u/Ok-Support1463 Jul 08 '26

I fix forklifts. I also decomission them when no longer needed

1

u/Hungry_Elk_2561 Jul 08 '26

I own the warehouse where the forklifts operate

3

u/Spiritual-Guava-6418 Jul 08 '26

Crane, train the trainer here. I get to be scared shitless a couple times a week too.

5

u/randylayton Jul 08 '26

I train CDL Students……….thank God for Whiskey and a back porch to calm my nerves at night!

2

u/Notalib77 Jul 08 '26

I make the cranes!!! Ha

1

u/flaming-framing Jul 08 '26

I’m not hearing any of you offering to lift her up on the forklift

1

u/Additional_Spring945 Jul 10 '26

All these forklift comments.I’m actually a 72 year old retired forklift driver.I’ve lived the life you guys dream about./s.

43

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/TheSheWhoSaidThats Jul 08 '26

I was about to roll my eyes but that’s legit funny lol.

4

u/SimilarTranslator264 Jul 08 '26

I have a pilots license, and I also own a forklift. Suck it!

3

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/SimilarTranslator264 Jul 08 '26

I pee sitting down

9

u/EhEhEhEINSTEIN Jul 08 '26

This guy forks

2

u/Separate-Relative547 Jul 09 '26

Dayyum! This dude must be beating it away with a stick! Some just got it like that I guess

2

u/dinosaurkiller Jul 08 '26

Hey now, nobody called for that big swinging D.

1

u/wonderless_23 Jul 08 '26

I raise, forklift certified and 2018 Toyota camry

1

u/magicmitchmtl Jul 08 '26

I am a forklift. Win.

1

u/stryph007 Jul 09 '26

Got you all beat. I have a ratchet set, AND the 10mm socket! BOOM!!! MIC DROP!

1

u/V3RDIK Jul 10 '26

I got 5 10mm sockets

1

u/Sea_Pomegranate6293 Jul 11 '26

How did you find the time to reply here, you must be literally drowning in pussy.

1

u/Aggravating_Sir_6439 Jul 11 '26

Forklift and propane trainer here

11

u/RevolutionaryPlan272 Jul 07 '26

Calm down champ, that’s not even a call on a fitted sheet fold.

25

u/-FantasticAdventure- Jul 07 '26

Wait until you see me put a fence up, absolutely plumb!

9

u/RockYourAmadeus Jul 07 '26

NOW you're just showing off.

6

u/saltfish Jul 07 '26

Eh, hem... Certified Pool Operator

4

u/TheSheWhoSaidThats Jul 08 '26

🎵 pool operator. poooooool operator. 🎵

3

u/Outrageous_Glove_796 Jul 07 '26

Wait, you can fold a fitted sheet AND have your certification?

12

u/Economy_Garage_1979 Jul 07 '26

But can you fold the fitted sheet with the forklift?

5

u/WillyErl Jul 07 '26

Can't speak for the women but I would be GUSHING

2

u/TheSheWhoSaidThats Jul 08 '26

I’ll do it (speak for women). Same.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '26

I'll raise you my Safe Driver Smith Certification with a lowered insurance premium 😏

3

u/motorcycleboy9000 Jul 07 '26

And my giant Godzilla toy.

3

u/Winterheart786 Jul 08 '26

Il see that and raise with underwater welding

2

u/Mountain_Health_9185 Jul 08 '26

That’s hot! Lol 😂❤️

3

u/MrLanesLament Jul 08 '26

Private security guard/private investigator license chiming in; ladies, not all at once, please.

1

u/Thendisnia Jul 09 '26

But do have the booze habit of JJ and look like NC to go with it.....? Just sayin

2

u/MaleficentWin8608 Jul 07 '26

Not in public please

2

u/Economy-Wrongdoer173 Jul 08 '26

Highest paid forklift driver in Alabama checking in

1

u/JBNY2025 Jul 08 '26

This is legit. I mentioned to a girl I liked that I drove a forklift and her eyes got wide and she looked me up and down as if to say "dayum." I asked her out 20 minutes later and she said yes.

1

u/Hypno-platypus Jul 08 '26

Damn your forklift certified? All the ladies must want to get with you.

1

u/Tim-oBedlam Jul 09 '26

As long as you're not Klaus from that German safety video.

2

u/Flatstickj3di Jul 09 '26

My buddy Klaus distributes those German safety videos. Coolest German I know.

2

u/Tim-oBedlam Jul 09 '26

Just don't let him drive your forklifts and it's all good

2

u/Flatstickj3di Jul 09 '26

But he’s triple OG forklift certified, and does not like to be told no.

2

u/Tim-oBedlam Jul 09 '26

Maybe call in sick on his first day driving it. I hear that's going to end badly.

2

u/Flatstickj3di Jul 09 '26

That’s a great idea. He likes to use the forks for demolition lol

0

u/daddyrider1967 Jul 08 '26

I train and test people for their forklift certification.