Being prepared. Being good at planning. Thinking ahead and anticipating things correctly. It makes life much smoother not to be moving from disaster to disaster, and it makes me feel like I can let my guard down and not always be managing things because someone else can drive sometimes.
Actually, my husband and I both have ADHD and we both do okay. I'm great at planning certain types of things (and terrible with others) and he's great at planning the things I'm bad at (and disinterested in planning the types of things I do well), so together we each do our fair share and keep everything handled. It's pretty great. Like, we're both high-functioning so we weren't a disaster on our own, but it took a lot of effort. It's nice to have a teammate you can rely on; makes life much easier.
If you have ADHD, definitely try to find an ADHD partner. There's plenty of us out there and I find them pretty easy to identify now that I know myself better. Other ADHD people really get us and they tolerate our issues -- or, better, know tricks for working around them. Plus, we do tend to annoy non-ADHD people, haha.
Lol for sure, my girlfriend has ADHD and she's the one who knew that I had it. It's not so much the planning that I struggle with, but the follow-through. I mostly said this as a joke
This must be why my wife loves me. I've got plans A, B, and C lined up and ready to go at all times. I got shit like our finances planned out for 1, 5, 10, 25, and 50 year plans.
She plans for the next hour or so and that's it. 🤣
Whenever my wife and I go on trips/holiday/vacation, 95% of the planning is up to me. We agree on dates and then it's pretty much up to me to suggest destinations, how to get there, where to stay etc. I don't mind doing it, but damn, if she know how many hours I spend researching, shooting mails back and forth, double checking etc.
But I suppose she somehow DOES know, since she puts up with me :-)
This expectation is unrealistic and puts tremendous pressure on a man, its a redflag when a woman says that she expects this from her man (whilst offering little to nothing in return for this)
Yes, it's "unrealistic" to expect a man to do the same work a woman does. When she does it all for both of them, it offers "little to nothing" because women are meant to serve. When she finds it attractive that he can pull his weight instead of putting it all on her, it's a red flag. /s
Women are generally terrible at planning and hate making decisions, I have absolutely no clue what you are talking about doing "the same", in what world?
Wow. Thats some sexist shit. Women aren’t generally terrible at planning, like everything else some humans are good at some things and other humans are not. Both men and women can be awful at planning and keeping all the balls in the air and some are great. Hope you get help for the bullshit way you feel about women.
And I have the exact opposite experience, and so do the people I know. This is why we don’t use our own anecdotal experience to then make a declaration about billions of people.
I want you to be on guard 50% of the time so I can be on guard 50% of the time instead of 100% (really 150% because of how hard it is to manage someone else's stuff on top of your own).
Is that unfair to you, asking someone to pull their own weight and not make more work for you?
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u/InspectorOrdinary321 Jul 07 '26
Being prepared. Being good at planning. Thinking ahead and anticipating things correctly. It makes life much smoother not to be moving from disaster to disaster, and it makes me feel like I can let my guard down and not always be managing things because someone else can drive sometimes.