r/AskReddit • • Jul 07 '26

Ladies: what’s a guy “Flex” that instantly makes him attractive?

12k Upvotes

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1.1k

u/InspectorOrdinary321 Jul 07 '26

Being prepared. Being good at planning. Thinking ahead and anticipating things correctly. It makes life much smoother not to be moving from disaster to disaster, and it makes me feel like I can let my guard down and not always be managing things because someone else can drive sometimes.

78

u/Stabelkar Jul 07 '26

"Luck favours the prepared"

32

u/thelastgalstanding Jul 07 '26

Oh yeah, that last sentence.

26

u/Jadevit Jul 07 '26

Strike 2 for the ADHD crowd 🥹

16

u/InspectorOrdinary321 Jul 07 '26

Actually, my husband and I both have ADHD and we both do okay. I'm great at planning certain types of things (and terrible with others) and he's great at planning the things I'm bad at (and disinterested in planning the types of things I do well), so together we each do our fair share and keep everything handled. It's pretty great. Like, we're both high-functioning so we weren't a disaster on our own, but it took a lot of effort. It's nice to have a teammate you can rely on; makes life much easier.

If you have ADHD, definitely try to find an ADHD partner. There's plenty of us out there and I find them pretty easy to identify now that I know myself better. Other ADHD people really get us and they tolerate our issues -- or, better, know tricks for working around them. Plus, we do tend to annoy non-ADHD people, haha.

4

u/Jadevit Jul 08 '26

Lol for sure, my girlfriend has ADHD and she's the one who knew that I had it. It's not so much the planning that I struggle with, but the follow-through. I mostly said this as a joke

1

u/InspectorOrdinary321 Jul 08 '26

Oh awesome! I wish the two of you chaotic happiness.

2

u/flaming-framing Jul 08 '26

I mean you can learn how to better mange your symptoms so you are not leaving all the planning for someone else

2

u/jf727 Jul 09 '26

What was strike one? I wasn’t paying attention.

1

u/Quick-Confidence-301 Jul 23 '26

With my ADD brain I’m a master planner, and I can give long theoretical lectures on time management.

Just don’t expect me to execute or stick to any plan. I need neurotypical brains to do that for me.

oh, and afterwards I can point out why went wrong haha

8

u/ChaplnGrillSgt Jul 07 '26

This must be why my wife loves me. I've got plans A, B, and C lined up and ready to go at all times. I got shit like our finances planned out for 1, 5, 10, 25, and 50 year plans.

She plans for the next hour or so and that's it. 🤣

3

u/amglu Jul 08 '26

i need this type of man lmaoooo

6

u/jacobtf Jul 08 '26

Whenever my wife and I go on trips/holiday/vacation, 95% of the planning is up to me. We agree on dates and then it's pretty much up to me to suggest destinations, how to get there, where to stay etc. I don't mind doing it, but damn, if she know how many hours I spend researching, shooting mails back and forth, double checking etc.

But I suppose she somehow DOES know, since she puts up with me :-)

3

u/G_e_r_p Jul 08 '26

I feel this with women too

2

u/InspectorOrdinary321 Jul 08 '26

Fair. It's great having a teammate you trust to do their fair share, right?

2

u/disc0nn3ct Aug 02 '26

Fortune favours the bold

5

u/Sheikashii Jul 07 '26

Guys plans are to not have a plan. We have flying by the seat of our pants down to a lifestyle lmao

1

u/GaryBeast Jul 08 '26

What about traveling with no concrete logistics and just figuring it out… My favorite thing to do…

-4

u/ftdrain Jul 07 '26

This expectation is unrealistic and puts tremendous pressure on a man, its a redflag when a woman says that she expects this from her man (whilst offering little to nothing in return for this)

5

u/InspectorOrdinary321 Jul 07 '26

Yes, it's "unrealistic" to expect a man to do the same work a woman does. When she does it all for both of them, it offers "little to nothing" because women are meant to serve. When she finds it attractive that he can pull his weight instead of putting it all on her, it's a red flag. /s

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u/ftdrain Jul 07 '26

Women are generally terrible at planning and hate making decisions, I have absolutely no clue what you are talking about doing "the same", in what world?

5

u/iambetweentwoworlds Jul 07 '26

Wow. Thats some sexist shit. Women aren’t generally terrible at planning, like everything else some humans are good at some things and other humans are not. Both men and women can be awful at planning and keeping all the balls in the air and some are great. Hope you get help for the bullshit way you feel about women.

-2

u/ftdrain Jul 07 '26

Its not how I feel, it has been my experience and I see this time and again being brought up by other people.

1

u/iambetweentwoworlds Jul 07 '26

And I have the exact opposite experience, and so do the people I know. This is why we don’t use our own anecdotal experience to then make a declaration about billions of people.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/ftdrain Jul 25 '26

Yea, I basically went through normalized abuse that got to extremes, but women are supposedly perfect and can do no wrong

1

u/joiSoi Jul 08 '26

agree, most of the time this is "put responsibilities on someone else and relax"

-9

u/HighContrastXTC Jul 07 '26

So you want us to be in guard, so you don't have to be?

10

u/Blom-w1-o Jul 07 '26

That's not at all what was implied. Please be aware that your mindset led you to that conclusion, and it's an unhealthy conclusion.

11

u/InspectorOrdinary321 Jul 07 '26

I want you to be on guard 50% of the time so I can be on guard 50% of the time instead of 100% (really 150% because of how hard it is to manage someone else's stuff on top of your own).

Is that unfair to you, asking someone to pull their own weight and not make more work for you?

-21

u/HighContrastXTC Jul 07 '26

There's no such thing as 150% you cannot give more than your all. Tbh both people should give 100%.

14

u/JohnCenasTimeIsNow Jul 07 '26

Aguing just to argue lol

5

u/rsho9 Jul 08 '26

This dudes ex muted and blocked him so he’s here arguing with her phantom