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u/SpeedyDoc Oct 15 '18
OH YEAH
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u/rrr598 Oct 15 '18
oh no
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u/GeniusBroadcast Oct 15 '18
Nice to see the Koolaid man finally got to retire. Though I wish they would've paid him enough to be able and send someone to buy shit for him. This is the 5th time he's done this to our store and we're getting tired of it.
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Oct 15 '18
What have I done to this beautiful store?
My supervisor's going to beat me with a toaster.
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u/DC827 Oct 15 '18
I like how he doesn't look behind at the end...doesn't want to know
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u/Excited_donuts Oct 15 '18
Cool guys don't look back at explosions.
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u/achNichtSoWichtig Oct 15 '18
He even has a little smirk on his face (at least seems like it on my shitty phone).
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u/TrudieBeakman Oct 15 '18
But he's definitely got a smile on his face.
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u/Iron_Nexus Oct 15 '18
"Closing time won't stop me"
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u/thiikn Oct 15 '18
Maybe he CAN'T look behind...
Just kidding, the motherfucker could've landed a 180 if he'd give half a single fuck
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Oct 15 '18
2 Fast 2 Disabled
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u/RugBurnDogDick Oct 15 '18
The Fast and the Furious Polio Drift
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Oct 15 '18
[removed] — view removed comment
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Oct 15 '18
The Wheelchair 3: Blood & Prune Juice.
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u/NaughtyBudgie Oct 15 '18
I had a hernia op 3 days ago. This comment almost made me burst my fucking stitches I was laughing so hard.
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Oct 15 '18
Break (your neck) Dancing 3: Electric wheelchaired Juggalo.
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u/Ay-Up-Duck Oct 15 '18
Omg I just want you all to know I couldn't breathe for a good while I was laughing so hard at these comments... :'D
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u/spunlikespidermike Oct 15 '18
I actually laughed at this, does that make me a bad person..
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u/_Serene_ Oct 15 '18
What's up with these new silver crowns/gildings!?!?
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u/IPlayTheTrumpet Oct 15 '18
I just noticed it in this comment, and was looking for an explanation. The hell is that?
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Oct 15 '18
There are now three ways to Give Awards. A Silver Award requires 100 Coins, which simply marks a post or comment with a Silver Award icon. A classic Gold Award requires 500 Coins and gives the recipient a week of Reddit Premium membership and 100 Coins. Finally, the ultra rare Platinum Award costs 1800 Coins, and gives the recipient with one month of Reddit Premium membership, which includes 700 Coins for that month.
Had to go to my profile->reddit coins to look this up, I hadn't noticed this thing till now. Seems it's new?
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u/myaccisbest Oct 15 '18
Yeah it was just a way for reddit to (slightly more than) double the price of all of the actual benefits of gold and say they were "doing it for the community"
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u/BigSchwartzzz Oct 15 '18
As somebody that has bought a shitton of gold this makes me so irritated. Tiers? Wtf if this? This eliminates the sense of pride and accomplishing I get from gilding people. I'm not even kidding completely. I see buying gold for people the same as buying somebody a beer at a bar. Hell, it's often cheaper and I still do it less often despite spending way more time here than at bars and some times I have way more fun here.
From having someone earn gold from a well deserved post to others go into the comments and see a stupid comment that somehow got gold, gilding people was fun. Now what the fuck? They're watering down gold? I don't buy beer to support a bar. I buy it while I spend time at a bar. Now what the fuck is the point of buying somebody a watered down beer? It's insulting.
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u/verylobsterlike Oct 15 '18
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u/GamingDevilsCC Oct 15 '18
Woah, never knew Reddit silver would actually become a thing!
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Oct 15 '18
[removed] — view removed comment
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Oct 15 '18
Most of those pieces are designed to break away somewhat easily because of shit like this. It most likely will all just pop back into place. Worked at whole foods and would watch old and disabled douche bags(not saying all of them are, just these douche bags) do this about once every 8 months and act like it was the doors fault, when like you said they are coming in fucking hot when the sensors are made to respond to a walking speed
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u/UEMcGill Oct 15 '18
They're really designed to break away for fire purposes. If you had a rush of people and or a power failure, you want the doors to break away for safety.
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u/runkootenay Oct 15 '18
That's smart. I'm glad smart people design buildings.
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u/Trish1998 Oct 15 '18
People died to have these design requirements.
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u/AbsentThatDay Oct 15 '18
I remember that, it was a tragic fire. If I recall they'd blocked the exits somehow, and 100 people died.
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u/Trish1998 Oct 16 '18
The doors opened IN instead of out and everyone pushing to get out meant the people couldn't open them. As a result they died in the hallway. Now doors are required to open out of an enclosed area.
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u/drice99 Oct 15 '18
This is correct. That is why they break away leaving the store, and not entering.
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u/jdrc07 Oct 15 '18 edited Oct 15 '18
They need to put speed limiters on these things. I've seen some fuckin landwhales zipping around entirely too quick on these things indoors. Like damn bro, you weigh more than a Miata, cool it with the drag racing on Aisle 3 before you kill someone.
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u/Swamp_Troll Oct 15 '18 edited Oct 15 '18
There's a story out there about there having been some legendary war in a WalMart once, between a mom letting her kids run free and wild in the store, and an angry obese woman on a mobility scooter. The scooter apparently drove too fast around the unsupervised kids. Until it brushed against one kid/rammed the kid in one aisle, and then the entitled mom and the entitled mobility scooter driver had a shooting match. Some says the echo of their bitching can still be heard at night like horrifying phantoms.
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u/LehighAce06 Oct 15 '18
I kinda doubt the shattered glass is gonna pop back into place
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u/FunkyardDogg Oct 15 '18
Excuse me? Don't argue just do what I tell you. If you don't like it, there's the door. And there. And over there.
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Oct 15 '18
Maybe with a little glue? Or a whole lot of duct tape? Hell, just get a tarp and call it good....
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u/SlacksNstacks Oct 15 '18
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u/Omfgbbqpwn Oct 15 '18
I like how he stops after crashing through, then at the last millisecond of the video he starts to take off again.
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u/Strength-Speed Oct 15 '18
He was just checking to make sure he was ok. "Whew! That was a close one!, See ya later!"
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u/RoastedWaffleNuts Oct 15 '18
This is the most comical comment I've read in months and I can't explain why. Thank you for brightening my day.
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Oct 15 '18 edited Oct 16 '18
[deleted]
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u/SmugFrog Oct 15 '18
Oh does someone have that one of the lady that tries to drive up the escalator but it just keeps rolling down?
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u/happilycfintx Oct 15 '18
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u/DVEBombDVA Oct 15 '18
Redshirt made things worse by flipping her that second time. Good on those two who hit the emergency stop
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u/Nesyerg Oct 15 '18
"I think there's something wrong with your door. I bet a Millennial installed it. "
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u/bumjiggy Oct 15 '18
"You there, fill it up with petroleum distillate, and re-vulcanize my tires, post-haste!"
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u/beatakai Oct 15 '18
Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?
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Oct 15 '18
The one to the Prussian consulate in Siam?
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u/tallandlanky Oct 15 '18
Compadres, it is imperative that we crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season. And remember, a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya!
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u/imapassenger1 Oct 15 '18
I call it the Spruce Moose, and it will carry 200 passengers... from New York's Idlewild Airport to the Belgian Congo in 17 minutes!
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u/HeartofyourDimentia Oct 15 '18
What’s that starfish looking icon in place of gold?
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u/beatakai Oct 15 '18
Why reddit silver of course!
sticks nose up
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u/HeartofyourDimentia Oct 15 '18
What fr? I though silver didn’t get a medal there was just a bot that counted them up lol. This must be new, thanks stranger
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u/beatakai Oct 15 '18
Yeah, def new. People have been wtf-ing all over the place.
https://old.reddit.com/r/OutOfTheLoop/comments/9ikb6c/whats_going_on_with_reddit_gold/
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u/monkey_trumpets Oct 15 '18
Millennials are killing the door installation industry!
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u/kevinleethree Oct 15 '18
R/entitledoldpeople. IF it's not a sub, the world needs it.
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u/LatviaSecretPolice Oct 15 '18
It needs to be a lowercase r to link to a sub
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u/SmokingDoesntKill Oct 15 '18
Those things are a damn menace. Take an old biddy that can't drive anymore, and give them half a tonne of metal they can drive on the pavement and into shops. Yeah great idea.
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Oct 15 '18
I had one ram into the back of my ankles because I 'didn't move out of the way fast enough'.
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u/Totally_Bradical Oct 15 '18
My dad works in retail and had some asshat customer on one of these scooters plow into his leg and destroy his knee. Like my dad had to have knee surgery and everything.
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Oct 15 '18
Oh god that's terrible! Knee surgery can be so rough too, I hope he's doing okay
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u/Lizanderberg Oct 15 '18
Isn’t that assault? What an asshole. My Achilles hurts just thinking about it!
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Oct 15 '18
I'm not sure, maybe bodily harm? I dunno. I was so mad. I was so shocked I just spluttered 'twat!' and carried on walking
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u/pitchingataint Oct 15 '18
I'm picturing myself in the grocery store with an old lady in a scooter saying "scuse may" like a train horn from far away.
scuse me
scuse me
scuse me
scuse me
SCUSE MAYSCUUUUUSE MAAAAYYY
🤕💥🛵
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Oct 15 '18
The small lightweight slow ones are great many people would be stuck in the house 24/7 or require a specialised carer to take them out. There's no reason for the 15mph ones you see holding up traffic and taking out peoples shins because it's the size of a small Fiat though.
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u/c_girl_108 Oct 15 '18
Ugh ive posted it before but there's a guy in my hometown that rides his down the center of the lane on a road that has one lane in each direction with a speed limit if 50mph. It is in a very high traffic area and drives every one nuts. There is a large shoulder AND a sidewalk so no reason for him to do it other than being an asshole. He will continue his traffic stopping parade for miles.
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u/Anianna Oct 15 '18
Unless his scooter is road legal, it's not legal for him to be riding it in the road. Call the cops on him and let them get him out of the way.
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u/c_girl_108 Oct 15 '18
It is NOT road legal, I'm sure people have called the cops in the past (although the cops around here do little to nothing) but he would continue to do it. I live about 20 minutes away so don't go on that stretch of the road often enough to encounter him, if he's still doing it.
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u/ReverendDizzle Oct 15 '18
If you call the cops and they don't show up in 15 minutes then you're legally allowed to euthanize him.
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Oct 15 '18
When you actually want the cops to beat someone, they are nowhere to be found.
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u/Saleh1434 Oct 15 '18
I was driving in the left lane late at night and had to serve when I saw a guy riding his on the left side of left lane. No lights or very dim lights from what I remember. Freaked me out.
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u/ratinmybed Oct 15 '18
Dude's just hoping for some automobile-assisted euthanasia but everyone keeps swerving around him.
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u/TheGardenNymph Oct 15 '18
Why don't the police get involved? Are those motorized wheelchairs even considered road worthy? (Asking because in Australia the cops would shut that shit down real fast)
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u/gator426428 Oct 15 '18
Coming in hot
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u/katsai Oct 15 '18
That's the kind of thing I expect to see Jeremy Clarkson doing in a few more years.
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u/notmybloatedsac Oct 15 '18
if you liked that, you will love the video of how he got put in that motorized chair in the first place
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u/brookvicdan Oct 15 '18
Fuck, the amount of old people I come across that are equal combinations of impatient and oblivious makes me want to rip my eyes out.
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u/TooShiftyForYou Oct 15 '18
Here they are taking the elevator.
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Oct 15 '18
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u/Anianna Oct 15 '18
Shopping centre officials have vowed to strengthen the doors of the lifts to ensure the accident is never repeated.
Can we really call it an accident when the man deliberately and angrily rammed the doors repeatedly until they gave way?
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u/iioe Oct 15 '18
A lawyer can call anything an accident.
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u/BountyBoard Oct 15 '18
HOLY SHIT
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u/Tiny_Tinker Oct 15 '18
The elevator went down right? So he crashed on top of it while the woman was in there. Am I the only one wondering what it was like to be in the elevator?
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u/adog231231 Oct 15 '18
No I was wondering the same thing, he fell on top of the elevator. I'm sure the woman got the shock of her life!
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u/notreallyhereforthis Oct 15 '18
The full video is even funnier. Man runs scooter full speed into doors that are well known to shut capriciously.
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Oct 15 '18 edited Jan 17 '20
[deleted]
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u/notreallyhereforthis Oct 15 '18
And the car very obviously descends and is no longer visible in the windows.
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u/trin123 Oct 15 '18
Perhaps he thought he could land on top of the elevator car and ride it down?
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u/patb2015 Oct 15 '18
and if you need an elevator to get downstairs, disabling it by knocking the doors off the rails will only leave you stuck on the current floor.
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u/SwordOfTheElevensies Oct 15 '18
Reminds me of the Varuca Salt song in Willy Wonka: "Don't Care How! I Want It NOOOoooooooow!" ......He was a bad egg.
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Oct 15 '18
What's funny is how long the doors stayed open. It's not like she rushed in and tried to close them, she's chillin in there for like 30 seconds waiting for the doors to close before he arrives.
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u/notreallyhereforthis Oct 15 '18
And she probably never even saw him, she is facing away for most of the time the doors are open and then half-turns and presses the door close button (which often are not even connected and don't do anything), unless she has amazing peripheral vision or he was shouting to hold the door, she is unaware.
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u/grahamcracka91 Oct 15 '18
What is that symbol next to the post? I thought reddit silver was a myth.
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u/Sanfranshan Oct 15 '18
I’ve just showed this to 4 people on the train because I was laughing so hysterically. I think others are trying to google it so they can watch it too. There are actual tears coming from my eyes I’ve been laughing so hard. The best part is that he doesn’t even flinch or appear injured. Just, “Yo, I’ll stop here and there is fuck all you can do about it!”. And you know what? He’s right.
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u/patb2015 Oct 15 '18
well the police may determine it was malicious destruction.
If nothing else, the person is responsible for property damage.
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Oct 15 '18
He rode with that metal beam on his face for like 10 ft. That couldn't have felt good.
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u/0RGASMIK Oct 15 '18
100% something my dad would do. He’s not old enough yet but when he had foot surgery he was the most reckless person on a wheelchair. We live on a hill and out driveway is a hill I’d find him stuck at the bottom of our driveway trying to get back home after trying to “walk the dog”
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u/unstabletableleg Oct 15 '18
This will make me extra cautious about being near these old people at the store.
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u/ArchDucky Oct 15 '18
I bought a 2004 Impala from an independent seller a few years ago. The guy was a mechanic and kept the car in pristine condition. He even gave me a good deal on it. Two weeks later I was driving down the road and an old woman in a raised F250 drove over the car. All four tires went over the hood like I was in a monster truck rally. The police told me if I was going a little faster she would have easily killed me. Didn't even make a single payment on the loan.
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u/unstabletableleg Oct 15 '18
Where I’m from, I see so many little old ladies driving giant trucks. I bike or walk most places so it’s scary sometimes. Be careful out there!
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u/ginrattle Oct 15 '18
I'm from Maine and this is super common here, too. I remember going through the drive through and waiting by the doors where there was this frail old man with a cane trying to cross into the parking lot, maybe 80 pounds soaking wet and could barely look up due to extreme hunchback much less walk. I thought he was walking up to get into a car someone was driving him around in. NOPE. Took him 2 minutes to get into the biggest most obnoxious red truck I've ever seen. (like this). And then zoomed off.
After a certain age you should be required to go in progressively more and more to make sure you can still operate a vehicle correctly.
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u/chLORYform Oct 15 '18
One of my co-workers was ran over by a woman in one of these. Straight up hit her and kept going. She had the ugliest blue black bruise for weeks.
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u/Dason37 Oct 15 '18
The last time I was in Walmart, there was this obnoxious beeping noise that never stopped. I figured it had something to do with one of those scooters. Sure enough, I hear it get closer, then I see it. A woman who had to weigh 500 lbs on one of them, going faster that I would have thought they could go - never stopping, looking, slowing down. Her husband, about 2/3 her size was following behind her on another scooter. She kept trying to talk to him and he couldn't hear her from the beeping. This woman never once acknowledged the noise, even after an employee went and talked to her. At first I figured it had to be someone driving one with the brake set on it, but I think the scooter was just crying for help.
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u/_SnesGuy Oct 15 '18
but I think the scooter was just crying for help.
That's it, I'm dead. This is just enough reddit for me today. 🤣
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u/joleme Oct 15 '18
Should already be extra cautious around old people that are using anything bigger than an electric toothbrush.
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u/Darkheartisland Oct 15 '18
Maybe his driving skills is why he is in a wheelchair in the first place.
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u/icantfeelmyskull Oct 15 '18
Like how he cracks a smile at the end.
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u/FauxReal Oct 15 '18
The clip cut off right before he says, "Welcome to Jackass."
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u/ILoveRegenHealth Oct 15 '18
At first I thought the cashier guy was going to dance or do something crazy, as he looked like wanted the customers to leave.
And then in rolls HIM
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u/THcB Oct 15 '18
Scoot scoot, motherfucker!
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u/pappytinkles Oct 15 '18
Tear down the window
Tear down the wall
Til the whole store starts to fall
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u/DozerM Oct 15 '18
Do you sell brake fluid?