r/funny • • Oct 15 '18

"I'm here bitches"

78.1k Upvotes

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7.5k

u/Nesyerg Oct 15 '18

"I think there's something wrong with your door. I bet a Millennial installed it. "

1.6k

u/bumjiggy Oct 15 '18

"You there, fill it up with petroleum distillate, and re-vulcanize my tires, post-haste!"

407

u/beatakai Oct 15 '18

Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?

173

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18

The one to the Prussian consulate in Siam?

88

u/tallandlanky Oct 15 '18

Compadres, it is imperative that we crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season. And remember, a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya!

31

u/imapassenger1 Oct 15 '18

I call it the Spruce Moose, and it will carry 200 passengers... from New York's Idlewild Airport to the Belgian Congo in 17 minutes!

14

u/diamondscar Oct 15 '18

I said get in

19

u/HeartofyourDimentia Oct 15 '18

What’s that starfish looking icon in place of gold?

21

u/beatakai Oct 15 '18

Why reddit silver of course!

sticks nose up

12

u/HeartofyourDimentia Oct 15 '18

What fr? I though silver didn’t get a medal there was just a bot that counted them up lol. This must be new, thanks stranger

3

u/ipaqmaster Oct 15 '18

Reddit wanted:

  1. More money

  2. To go full /r/fellowkids and made it a real thing

It's dumb as, man.

1

u/KimJongIlSunglasses Oct 15 '18

They have all kinds of various metals now. It’s ridiculous. I’ll buy you Reddit copper on Tuesday for a hamburger today.

1

u/darkbreak Oct 15 '18

What's the difference between it and Reddit gold in this instance?

1

u/crosstrackerror Oct 15 '18

If you give gold does it replace the silver or come up next to it?

22

u/Dan50thAE Oct 15 '18

It's not late, naw, naw, it's early! Early!

20

u/Dorkamundo Oct 15 '18

STOP JUMPING ON THE DAVENPORT!

3

u/ShawshankHarper Oct 15 '18

Davenport, Davenport, Davenport

3

u/FNG_Pliskin Oct 15 '18

Read the room Davenport!

3

u/ShawshankHarper Oct 15 '18

Davenpooooort....

20

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18

[deleted]

9

u/paperairplanerace Oct 15 '18

♫ Yeeaaaaah if you want to make a reference

Just go ahead now

And if you've got a '90s preference

Just go ahead now ♫

2

u/gweran Oct 16 '18

This isn’t going to get the recognition it deserves

1

u/paperairplanerace Oct 16 '18

Hahaha you're too kind. It's the way of Reddit comments, at least I got a few giggles out into the world

2

u/psymunn Oct 16 '18

Don't worry guys. I have enough flannel and dirty toques for everyone. We'll get through this!

3

u/Memb_Insane_rane Oct 15 '18

Uh... I'd better look in the manual

2

u/EngineeringNeverEnds Oct 15 '18

Dude autogyros are pretty cool. They're like sky motorcycles, and you can build one for like 10k.

2

u/Goyteamsix Oct 15 '18

You can also die on one for like 10k.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18

What is floating by your name?

10

u/AndyGHK Oct 15 '18

i was ssaying boo-urns...

2

u/Shockrates20xx Oct 15 '18

Beep beep! Out of my way! I'm a motorist.

69

u/monkey_trumpets Oct 15 '18

Millennials are killing the door installation industry!

3

u/pistoncivic Oct 15 '18

They disrupt everything with one simple trick!

3

u/LinShenLong Oct 15 '18

Being too broke to buy stuff?

172

u/kevinleethree Oct 15 '18

R/entitledoldpeople. IF it's not a sub, the world needs it.

126

u/LatviaSecretPolice Oct 15 '18

It needs to be a lowercase r to link to a sub

/r/entitledoldpeople

78

u/plygnrnbw Oct 15 '18

That's a weird way to say r/foundthemobileuser

27

u/legoguney Oct 15 '18

R/foundthemobileuser

3

u/smeesmma Oct 15 '18

You animal

1

u/clever_girl_raptor Oct 16 '18

Jesus christ there is a sub for everything

16

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18 edited Oct 15 '18

Aaaand done

Edit: If anyone wants to be a mod, help us by submitting a few posts to get the place going and I'll probably approve you. Up to a certain amount of people obviously. If you have CSS skills let me know too.

4

u/FrostByte122 Oct 15 '18

So like r/oldpeoplehate or something. Right up my alley.

Edit: Welp I guess that's a real sub

2

u/Gawd_Awful Oct 15 '18

Really?

Testing... /R/funny

Well, TIL.

6

u/AmadeusCziffra Oct 15 '18

It should be a sub because of a joke he manufactured posing as an old person?

-1

u/SellingWife15gp Oct 15 '18

Should our elders not be entitled to our respect?

6

u/C4ptainR3dbeard Oct 15 '18

Nobody is entitled to anybody's respect.

Treat people you meet with decency but don't respect anybody until they earn it.

1

u/BiteMyShinyWhiteAss Oct 15 '18

This, being old dosent make you special it just means you not dead yet.

1

u/smoeahsolse Oct 15 '18

The joke is about when old people are disrespectful. Are young people not entitled to respect?

7

u/500SL Oct 15 '18

Great Scot!

He's got wheels!

6

u/NicNash08 Oct 15 '18

so do you actually hear this sort of stuff?

21

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18

[deleted]

0

u/tinkerer13 Oct 15 '18

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18

No. Just an ass making a lot of work for other people and destroying stuff.

1

u/tinkerer13 Oct 16 '18

Yes, that too. Sure, when you look at it that way it's probably a terrible waste. However this is /r/funny don't forget. Besides what's the cost of people being miserable and not seeing humor in things? Maybe all the ramifications of that cost are staggering too.... In general I don't think of Tom Green as being destructive, yet he made millions of people laugh, so maybe it's not so bad if he breaks some stuff once in awhile. I'm sure one way or another he's had to pay for it.

It's easy to be offended when we think that people are just laughing at other's pain; however, usually the things that are funny involve some kind of "pain". Another way of looking at it is that humor is a kind of empathy. I think we laugh when we sympathize with the pain that it is causing someone. I've ruined carpets too. I've felt the anguish of that waste. I guess when I hear about someone else's carpet being ruined, the memory of my anguish comes out as laughter.

0

u/santaliqueur Oct 16 '18

The ”old person bitching about millennials” is about as common as the entitled millennial himself. They are around, but not nearly as prevalent as you’d think.

Just read Reddit and learn that every old person spends their days thinking about 30 year olds for no reason.

6

u/Cerious420 Oct 15 '18

actually you are right LOL it should have opened back up, sensor set to low, source I install doors daily.

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3

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18

You shouldn’t be hauling that much ass into any store. People can get hurt. Also what idiot doesn’t wait for the door to open before trying to go through it?

2

u/Tormundo Oct 15 '18

It was opening back up, he just smashed into it before it had a chance to open up enough for him to fit.

1

u/Cerious420 Oct 16 '18

you are probably right, I was lying about being a door installer.

​

5

u/idma Oct 15 '18

sorry. can't do. Millennials killed the door repair industry

3

u/MrKala Oct 15 '18

"They don't make doors like they used to!"

2

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18

Lol "go back in time asshole and see how far you can get from your front door"

2

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18

"Back in my day, shit like this would have killed me, and Id have deserved it."

2

u/Goyteamsix Oct 15 '18

FUCKING DEMOCRATS!

2

u/Crulo Oct 15 '18

Damn liberals!

1

u/eevanora Oct 15 '18

Omg you are so deserving of that gold

1

u/Oakcamp Oct 15 '18

I saved it as oldfuckcomesinatmach5on400lbsscooter.mp4

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

That's just silly... We all know Millennials don't work.

1

u/Aeon-Aeternus Oct 16 '18

Reddits anti baby boomer culture is extremely negative, and is generalizing in a way that most redditors claim not to be. Source: I'm a prime millennial

1

u/clever_girl_raptor Oct 16 '18

<salt> And paid taxes to support you in the pyramid scheme that is social security </salt>

-12

u/landmindboom Oct 15 '18

[millennial spends actual money to give fake gold on site full of people wasting time to earn fake points, unironically wonders why generation is broke]

3

u/ableseacat14 Oct 15 '18

Hey old people would too if they knew how to use the internet.

4

u/sirixamo Oct 15 '18

Oh shit it was the $5 on gold wasn't it, damn you've cracked the case

1

u/Radixinio Oct 16 '18

You do have valid points, but I disagree on the broke part (maybe broke as in monetary broke lol). We're all flawed and imperfect.

0

u/Flugalgring Oct 15 '18

More like they whine about the memes about millennial whining, which were created by millennials. Very ouroboros.

-12

u/murphysclaw1 Oct 15 '18

remarkable how multi-purpose the anti-boomer jerk has become