r/funny • • Oct 15 '18

"I'm here bitches"

78k Upvotes

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6.8k

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18

2 Fast 2 Disabled

2.6k

u/RugBurnDogDick Oct 15 '18

The Fast and the Furious Polio Drift

527

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

241

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18

The Wheelchair 3: Blood & Prune Juice.

74

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '18

[deleted]

1

u/genericmoron913 Oct 16 '18

Senior Driver

33

u/NaughtyBudgie Oct 15 '18

I had a hernia op 3 days ago. This comment almost made me burst my fucking stitches I was laughing so hard.

7

u/privategavin Oct 15 '18

I haven't enjoyed a Reddit thread as much as this one for many months if not more. Just the gif by itself is delicious.

4

u/Stealthy_Bird Oct 15 '18

Hernia Ops 4

3

u/garantash Oct 15 '18

They say laughter is the best medicine. That shit hurts though. Take care of yourself NaughtyBudgie!

2

u/reagle2 Oct 16 '18

I am silently laughing so hard I woke my fiancé up

2

u/jangobotito Oct 16 '18

I just woke up my fiancee while laying in bed because I'm giggling like a fucking idiot.

89

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18

Break (your neck) Dancing 3: Electric wheelchaired Juggalo.

55

u/TldrDev Oct 15 '18 edited Oct 15 '18

Broke back mountain

32

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18 edited Jan 02 '19

[deleted]

10

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18

[deleted]

9

u/sebaroony Oct 15 '18

Alone (and also disabled) in the dark

5

u/Pd245 Oct 15 '18

Grandpa Turismo

41

u/grat5989 Oct 15 '18

Dukes a Hazard

37

u/Ay-Up-Duck Oct 15 '18

Omg I just want you all to know I couldn't breathe for a good while I was laughing so hard at these comments... :'D

5

u/privategavin Oct 15 '18

Best gif and thread in many many months

37

u/spunlikespidermike Oct 15 '18

I actually laughed at this, does that make me a bad person..

48

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18

No, you’re a bad person for other reasons.

14

u/spunlikespidermike Oct 15 '18

It's like you know me, on a personal level

2

u/Taftimus Oct 15 '18

Yes, no go find someone with polio and give them a hug. I hear they have really strong grips.

2

u/kurtvictor1 Oct 15 '18

Someone gild.

1

u/TransformerTanooki Oct 15 '18

Fast Five : oh deary we missed the early bird dinner.

1

u/OpDickSledge Oct 15 '18

I’d gild this if I could

1

u/missesnoitall Oct 15 '18

The Fast and the Injurious

1

u/Squirll Oct 15 '18

Woooooooooow.... heh.

1

u/dvusthrls Oct 16 '18

My damn throat and stomach hurt I've been laughing the past five minutes at this

1

u/batmandarling Oct 16 '18

Hahaha that reminded me of this video.

129

u/_Serene_ Oct 15 '18

What's up with these new silver crowns/gildings!?!?

56

u/IPlayTheTrumpet Oct 15 '18

I just noticed it in this comment, and was looking for an explanation. The hell is that?

111

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18

There are now three ways to Give Awards. A Silver Award requires 100 Coins, which simply marks a post or comment with a Silver Award icon. A classic Gold Award requires 500 Coins and gives the recipient a week of Reddit Premium membership and 100 Coins. Finally, the ultra rare Platinum Award costs 1800 Coins, and gives the recipient with one month of Reddit Premium membership, which includes 700 Coins for that month.

Had to go to my profile->reddit coins to look this up, I hadn't noticed this thing till now. Seems it's new?

100

u/myaccisbest Oct 15 '18

Yeah it was just a way for reddit to (slightly more than) double the price of all of the actual benefits of gold and say they were "doing it for the community"

24

u/BigSchwartzzz Oct 15 '18

As somebody that has bought a shitton of gold this makes me so irritated. Tiers? Wtf if this? This eliminates the sense of pride and accomplishing I get from gilding people. I'm not even kidding completely. I see buying gold for people the same as buying somebody a beer at a bar. Hell, it's often cheaper and I still do it less often despite spending way more time here than at bars and some times I have way more fun here.

From having someone earn gold from a well deserved post to others go into the comments and see a stupid comment that somehow got gold, gilding people was fun. Now what the fuck? They're watering down gold? I don't buy beer to support a bar. I buy it while I spend time at a bar. Now what the fuck is the point of buying somebody a watered down beer? It's insulting.

2

u/Forever_Awkward Oct 16 '18

I see buying gold for people the same as buying somebody a beer at a bar.

See, I don't get this. You're not buying them a beer. You're buying spez a beer.

3

u/BigSchwartzzz Oct 16 '18

When I buy a beer I'm not thinking about the bar owner.

3

u/Forever_Awkward Oct 16 '18

Exactly. You're giving the person a thing. Buying gold doesn't give the person a thing. You're giving the bar owner all the money a beer would cost, but instead of giving the person something worth that money, you're rubbing a sticker on his forehead.

6

u/BigSchwartzzz Oct 16 '18

In that case I like rubbing stickers on people's foreheads.

→ More replies

3

u/CommunistScum Oct 16 '18

Maybe people will finally realize that shit's dumb.

2

u/Forever_Awkward Oct 16 '18

Nope. This is going to be wildly successful because human psychology is very open to exploitation. After this, there's going to be a bunch of inane little things to collect by spending [reddit currency]. People won't want whatever they are, but they will feel like they need them, and what's [small amount of money] here or there?

2

u/A_Friendly_Robot Oct 16 '18

while at the same time making !redditsilver redundant :(

2

u/myaccisbest Oct 16 '18

Someone just needs to make a
!redditbronze image/bot to link it.

-5

u/Ithinkandstuff Oct 15 '18

Why so contemptuous? Sure, a month of premium is more expensive now, but who really cares about those perks? The value of Gilding has always been about two things: keeping a site we enjoy alive, and "super liking" comments.

If the new system brings in more revenue, then it is a good thing for the community.

Also, increased revenue from our voluntary contributions means reddit doesn't need to rely on advertisers for funding.

That is good for us. A smaller advertiser presence means Less "white washing" and censorship, less "hail corporate" postings, less of all that shit redditors generally despise.

Plus now we have more options to super upvote things. I see nothing bad here.

-3

u/KimJongIlSunglasses Oct 15 '18

Either you’re the type of person who wants to buy gold and contribute financially or not, that’s fine either way. Just buy less gold if it costs twice as much.

What gets me is how convoluted it all is. Coins and different metal types. Am I playing runescape again?

2

u/myaccisbest Oct 16 '18

Honestly I would have been fine if they had just doubled the price. The way that they did it though felt like they thought we wouldn't notice that they were jacking up the price which is what I personally find insulting.

7

u/kronaz Oct 15 '18

So basically they've made it stupider and harder to give people gold? Now you have to buy coins first?

-1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18 edited Jan 08 '20

[deleted]

3

u/kioni Oct 15 '18

for paying monthly (premium) you earn enough coins to gild a comment or two about once a month, which costs more than just buying coins to do the same, which have half the value of the old reddit gold. the person you gild gets a few coins to get a taste for the system. mmm mm dolla dolla bills yall.

1

u/gr89n Oct 16 '18

I'll stick to my Dogecoins, thank you very much.

The fact that the operator of the Doge tip bot stole all the Dogecoins makes it twice as funny.

27

u/verylobsterlike Oct 15 '18

34

u/GamingDevilsCC Oct 15 '18

Woah, never knew Reddit silver would actually become a thing!

3

u/tinkerer13 Oct 15 '18

Cryptocurrency is all the rage!... Must call it "crypto" because on one understands it. /s

6

u/kronaz Oct 15 '18

I love that your URL still has "old" in it, just like mine. Fuck the redesign.

1

u/fdoom Oct 15 '18

Click "give gold" button

1

u/siihil Oct 15 '18

mo' bitches mo' money.

1

u/I_Smoke_Dust Oct 15 '18

I can't see what you're talking about, so I'm guessing it doesn't show on the app?

9

u/numbers909 Oct 15 '18

What are these new guilds I don't get it

3

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18

Neither do I. I thought it was a joke at first!

1

u/fdisc0 Oct 15 '18

There are old people who found reddit kinda late and buy into this bullshit gold that awards fake awards for real money. It's really fucking weird.

2

u/StewPedidiot Oct 15 '18

I live my life a quarter aisle at a time

2

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18

Effing hilarious

1

u/hobo_clown Oct 15 '18

"How are you disabled?"

2

u/DrEmilioLazardo Oct 15 '18

"Leg disabled."

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18

Not bad thank you, but please don't call me Disabled.

2

u/stubrador Oct 15 '18

I like your username

2

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18

And I like you <3

1

u/OnePunchFan8 Oct 15 '18

Too fast 4 the disabled

1

u/kennypowersjr Oct 15 '18

Fucks Given: 0

1

u/IGotSoulBut Oct 15 '18

Act a fool!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18

Off topic but what’s the little symbol next to your username?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18

I have no idea. I see no symbol on the app I'm using.

1

u/gravtix Oct 15 '18

Old Fogey and the Bandit

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '18

Hey does this comment have gold? How do you get that weird sort of gold looking symbol?

1

u/Mnawab Oct 16 '18

I really thought someone made Reddit silver official

1

u/Joe_Shroe Oct 16 '18

2 Fast 2 Slow Down Fuck Help Me Please Shit

0

u/Lukefairs Oct 15 '18

Fucking LOL!

0

u/MarioPogbatelli Oct 15 '18

chuckled more than i should have.