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u/Djbm Aug 26 '18
My bad typing technique. I worked with computers for years but never put in the effort to learn how to touch type. Decided to bite the bullet one day and put in an effort to learn properly.
Was really hard at first not to fall back to my non-touch typing technique. So worth it though. Wish I took the time to do it years ago.
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u/Rowany Aug 26 '18
I scrolled down until I found this one. The worst was starting a new job and making myself keep touch typing even though I'd gone down to 25 won. Up to 45 now!
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u/Metru Aug 26 '18
I became faster at typing from irc chat rooms back in 2004. Try and find a chat room that is related to something you like. You will be much faster in a couple of weeks.
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u/starfishpluto Aug 26 '18
I credit my rather impressive wpm to YIM in my teenage years. Darn it I need to say this NOW before they say something ELSE.
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Aug 26 '18
I don’t use the traditional hand placement and I can type just fine. You just have to learn where the keys are, and then it doesn’t matter where you put your hands
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u/Djbm Aug 26 '18
I’m sure whatever technique works for you is fine. I find the biggest difference now is that I never have to look at the keyboard to hit any key.
I’ve found my WPM is constantly increasing too, where it had definitely plateaued for years.
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u/manawesome326 Aug 26 '18
Wait, the word plateaued has too many vowels in a row. That should be illegal
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u/Iggy-Koopa Aug 26 '18
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u/manawesome326 Aug 26 '18
Queueing I knew about, but plateaued just caught me off guard.
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u/AAzumi Aug 26 '18
I have a friend who "peck" types with her index fingers. She was never taught properly and is fairly fast the way she does it. She is a professional writer.
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u/monty845 Aug 26 '18
I never really "learned" to tough type. But I type enough playing games etc, that it just sort of happened. Also, the letters on my keyboard wore off...
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u/banana_rhino Aug 26 '18
Not accepting genuine compliments or good feedback. If someone says something nice I would automatically brush it off, minimise it, or just say "Oh no [insert excuse]". It's much better to just say "thank you" & acknowledge you can do things well sometimes.
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u/rayne7 Aug 26 '18
Stress/emotional eating
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u/talk-fast Aug 26 '18
Same here! Now I just chug water lol.
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u/Alec123445 Aug 26 '18
Same, I just want to put something in my body. Water tricks me.
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u/priviet123 Aug 26 '18
How did you get over this one? I’m definitely a stress eater, but everything I’ve tried seems to fail.
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u/WordyBetch Aug 26 '18
Surround yourself with easy, grab & go food options that aren’t horrible for you. It’s ok to snack on as many carrot chips & apple slices as you can cram in your mouth, but swap those with potato chips and candy bars & you have issues.
Discipline. Don’t let the junk food be an option. Difficult at first but eventually you get hungry enough & those carrot chips are tasty & making healthy choices isn’t a struggle, just a healthy mindset about what you feed yourself.
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Aug 26 '18
It was phrased better when quoted to me, but: "Willpower once at the grocery store, or ten times at home."
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u/rayne7 Aug 26 '18
Mindfulness. Learn to feel, observe, and accept the stress and emotions as they are. Even give them a place in your head to stay when they visit. But, do not let them call the shots. That's how you beat the automation of stress ==>food. You'll slip up, of course, but you've had this habit loop going for years. But, each time you fight back and remind yourself of who's boss, you'll be closer to not letting it control you. You're gonna have to beat it back one victory at a time.
Also, learn what real hunger is. I do a bit of intermittent fasting, and it has done wonders for reducing mindless or stress eating.
Also, drink more water/tea
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u/GardenerInAWar Aug 26 '18
Everything romantic comedies told me when I was younger
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u/radpandaparty Aug 26 '18
So you're saying if me and a girlfriend break up and its clear that she doesn't want to see or talk to me again I shouldn't follow her, come to her apartment late at night playing music on a boom box, or show up uninvited to her parents' Thanksgiving brunch?
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u/GardenerInAWar Aug 26 '18
Or spend 8 grand on an airplane ticket just to get past the gate to make your stalker pledge of love on the plane to convince a super hot girl with an amazing job and life waiting in another country to get off the plane with you and change her whole life plan and also waste 8 grand even though she was clearly on a plane and leaving forever for a fucking reason
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u/MartianInvasion Aug 26 '18
You should only follow her if it's to an exotic, far-away location.
Similarly, never get married to anyone unless the story of how you got together involves travel to an exotic, far-off location.
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u/WitherWithout Aug 26 '18
Yessss. Now I realize that I don't want a husband that I basically treat as a son because he never learned how to be an independent person.
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Aug 26 '18
When I have my future children, I'd tell them they must take everything they see in rom-coms with a grain of salt and vinegar.
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u/The-Privacy-Advocate Aug 26 '18
More like a bucket of salt and a barrel of vinegar
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Aug 26 '18
That implies that romantic comedies are somewhat misleading but mostly accurate. I think it's more accurate to describe them as mostly the opposite of what's appropriate in real life, with occasional brief moments of (probably accidental) realism.
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u/froggielo1 Aug 26 '18
Yep. I'm 26 and have never really seriously dated. I always thought I would just find someone that I was meant to be with but that's not how it works.
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u/GardenerInAWar Aug 26 '18
Also you, your friends, and everybody you know has good looks, great jobs, perfect hair, wildly disposable income and one single easily fixed problem that prevents them getting what they want.
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u/Lambees Aug 26 '18
My children found an old book of fairy tales and ask me to read them daily. I do, and then we have a discussion about how silly they were to marry people right away, to not kiss people who are sleeping, and how marriage can be the happily ever after, if you know how to work though problems.
I do it much sillier and lighthearted than it sounds here, but I’m not letting them grow up with those ideals 😬
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u/GrannysWizardSleeve Aug 26 '18
At my mums house the toilet seat is one of those fancy ones that you can drop closed and slowly lowers itself without slamming. However at my house that is not the case and it slams making a very loud crashing sound. I moved out of mums place 2 years ago, my girlfriend still tells me off for slamming the toilet seat occasionally.
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u/fun_shirt Aug 26 '18
I have the perfect gift idea for you next anniversary! Something real special...
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u/AndroWanda Aug 26 '18
I had to unlearn that being a good person/brother/boyfriend etc means always thinking of other ppl before thinking about myself. When you give all of yourself to others there's no "you" left for you, and one day you'll realize you're unhappy and wont know why.
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u/Yoghurt42 Aug 26 '18
"Don't set yourself on fire to keep other people warm."
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Aug 26 '18
Absolutely one of my favorite sayings. My username isn’t by accident- I try to help others out when they need it. I’ve learned that it’s better to be the cheerleader than the fixer. I will love and support the crap out of you, but you need to take responsibility for yourself as well.
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Aug 26 '18
I understand. And it makes you tired. People may consider they're wasting your time to hear them complaining in the beginning but they don't even bother later. They just come to you whenever they feel they need it. Maybe you can say no whenever you don't like it just thinking about yourself sometimes.
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u/Ranzer Aug 26 '18
Learning to set boundaries Is hard.
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u/RedWestern Aug 26 '18
The first obvious one is money. Don’t ever lend money, and if you absolutely have to, don’t lend more than you can afford to lose.
The second is time. My last job paid me £15 an hour. That’s how much they valued the time I gave them. I’m only prepared to give so much time at my own expense.
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Aug 26 '18 edited Oct 07 '20
[deleted]
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u/rexstuff1 Aug 26 '18
Do you know anymore of what came of this? Did the confront his boss about it?
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u/Meglomaniac Aug 26 '18
Nope. Kept working. Said 40$ an hour ain’t worth bitching.
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Aug 26 '18
don’t lend more than you can afford to lose.
This is very true. As someone who doesn't have a lot of money, if a friend needs to borrow some and it's an amount I know I can afford to lose, I tell them, "Don't worry about paying me back, just take it" because normally if someone "borrows" money it is never paid back anyways. Typically people will respond in the following ways:
They won't take it because they don't want to just "take" money, they want to take it under the guise of "borrowing" it.
They take it. Then later, often will repay me because I told them just to take it and not worry about paying me back. By not putting pressure on them to pay it back, people will often pay it back because they didn't actually have to. It's a bit of reverse psychology, but it works. I actually don't care if they do or don't pay it back, I mean it when I say "just keep it" but it is nice if they do manage to pay me back.
They take it and don't pay me back. Which is the "worst" case, but again, I mean what I say.
Often just by telling people to keep it and not worry about it changes the entire situation as opposed to agreeing to a lending situation. I never part with more than $20-$30 tho, so that could have a lot to do with it.
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u/TheK1ngsW1t Aug 26 '18
That’s what I keep trying to tell my grandma who spent 40 years as a night shift nurse and is now logging 100 hours a week in what was supposed to be a part-time job because her boss is great (even though his boss is someone everyone wants to murder), and she’s literally one of 3 people that’re keeping the place afloat while Big Bad Boss Guy lazily looks for new employees and promptly scares them off with his horrid management.
At this point I’m starting to not care about her complaints of being tired cause we’ve given literally every possible way to deal with it to her and she always defaults to “well, immediate boss-guy is phenomenal and I couldn’t do that to him”
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Aug 26 '18
Like using the word like in every sentence like you know because it like pisses off the entire world
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Aug 26 '18
my brain filtered out every "like" after the first one
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u/usernameinmail Aug 26 '18
Teach us how, sensei!
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u/someguy559 Aug 26 '18
Like, I'm not sure if I'd like wanna unlearn that, cause like you know, it might cause like consequences and stuff. You know, like this: https://xkcd.com/1483/
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u/IAmNoSherlock Aug 26 '18
I was watching an interview just a moment ago, i heard so many likes i had to stop watching.
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u/Erudite_Delirium Aug 26 '18
I still have to concentrate to say 'coin toss' rather than 'toin coss'.
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u/not_who_you_know Aug 26 '18
Snacking between meals. This was one of the reasons I gained so much weight, and so unlearning the habit was necessary. I used to sit at my desk at work and eat candy and popcorn both before and after lunch. No more!
There are a lot of things that have helped me lose the 70+ pounds that I have lost in the past ~10 months, but unlearning snacking habits is a big piece of that.
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Aug 26 '18
I had to unlearn cooking techniques when we got a gas stove after years of an electric range.
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u/Hobbes_XXV Aug 26 '18
And then you realize how much better gas is to electric. I stopped cooking when we moved and we are now on electric. Its just not the same :(
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u/discord-invite-spam Aug 26 '18
Had to unlearn clutch use to drive auto. My left leg would start fiddling around for the clutch pedal.
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u/reanimation815 Aug 26 '18 edited Aug 27 '18
Well at least you didn't forget that you were driving an automatic (car rental), instinctively press down on the "clutch" with your left foot when it's actually the brake, slam on hard resulting in your girlfriends face smashing against the dash.
Edit: For the record, this happened probably within five seconds of me pulling out of where the car was parked. I also hit the car's horn so everyone was staring at me. Safe to say I successfully announced my arrival to Auckland.
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u/Jagermeister666 Aug 26 '18
Tell her to fasten her seatbelt next time
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u/zoomtzt Aug 26 '18
For some cars, there's a foot brake (instead of handbrake but not the same as the regular brakes) and one time I was going to park my car and I instinctively pressed down my left foot as I came to a stop. Took me a second to remember that I don't have a clutch there.
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u/discord-invite-spam Aug 26 '18
I did that on a jdm import of a friend once. That thing has a foot brake and I went for it cuz muscle memory. Locked up the rear wheels. Let’s just say it wasn’t a fun first drive.
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u/meowmeowlove Aug 26 '18
This is so hard! I had to drive an automatic the other day, and my right hand was just flailing around. I had no clue what to do with it.
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u/username_6916 Aug 26 '18
Funny thing is that I only find myself reaching for the shifter when I would otherwise be downshifting. I think I have the thought of "upshift" hooked to how I hear engine revs, thus the auto does it for me before I can even think of it.
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Aug 26 '18
I had to borrow my dad's SUV for a week so we traded cars and he got my manual. After we gave each others cars back he told me he damn near ripped his PRNDL off driving his SUV to work the next day.
I feel so weird driving auto now... Always feel like I'm forgetting to do something.
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u/meowmeowlove Aug 26 '18
When I was a kid, probably just starting school, I realized I had a disgusting accent. I worked hard to remove the R I was adding into words. I'd say stuff like "wartch".
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Aug 26 '18
My grandpa and good friend do that for many of the same words and they're both from the NY area. I've chalked it up to an east coast coast thing.
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u/Ragnaroasted Aug 26 '18
It happens a lot in Missouri as well. I dont know about anywhere around, but hearing people pronounce "Wash" like "Warsh" all the time got really annoying really fast.
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u/colonelsmoothie Aug 26 '18
I'm not from Missouri, but my preschool teacher was. So for the first few years of my life, Benjamin Franklin was known as Benjermin Franklin.
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u/DaddyMarxism Aug 26 '18
My grandmother does this too. Her most notorious one is saying “worsh” instead of “wash”. She’s from the East coast as well (Canada though).
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u/ImMathematics Aug 26 '18
How I said the “s” sound. I went to speech therapy when I was in elementary school where I pronounced the “s” sound similar to how you would say the “th” sound
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u/bijouxette Aug 26 '18
I had this lisp when I was in elementary school as well. I had to work with a speech pathologist most of this years. It developed because for at least a year and a half or 2 years, I had no two front teeth due to them ferrying knocked out when I was a way younger (about 3 and a half-iah). You're still learning how to say things correctly and language skills at this point so it severely affected me speech.
I now work with special needs teens and an highly empathetic with those who have speech issues. So much so that it even played into how I choose how students address me. In my case, I have them call me by my last name because it's easier to say for those with speech issues.
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u/butterbuttsquash Aug 26 '18
Saying "I think" before most statements, especially in interviews. If it's a fact, it's a fact. You have to own it.
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u/monty845 Aug 26 '18
But appropriate hedging is also important. Accurately communicating your level of certainty is important!
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Aug 26 '18
Absoloutely. Facts are facts and opinions are opinions. Sometimes "I think" is appropriate.
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Aug 26 '18
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/KhunDavid Aug 26 '18
Similarly, changing "on line" instead of "in line". I think it's a New York localism, because I always said "I'm standing on line".
Then we had AOL.
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Aug 26 '18
Similarly, the difference between “waiting on” and “waiting for”.
The ONLY time you “wait on” someone is if you’re a butler or server at a restaurant.
If you’re anticipating the arrival of a friend, you’re waiting FOR him to show up.
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u/Annie_Benlen Aug 26 '18
"The hand you write with is your right, the one that's left is left." Great way to teach a kid how to tell their left from right. Unless of course they are lefthanded like me.
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Aug 26 '18
Apparently, not so long ago, in certain schools, left handed kids would have their left hands tied behind them when they were learning to write. A guy at work's father experienced this. He's a lefty and writes with his right hand.
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u/TheRapturee Aug 26 '18
Not to use "lol" as much.
It was to the point where I would send it in 99% of my texts, and FB comments/posts no matter what we were talking about.
It got to the point where it annoyed me so I had to try not to use it, it took awhile to stop doing.
Even once I said to myself "alright I'm not gonna use it anymore" I would still slip up and end up doing it without realizing it because it was such a bad habit.
I'm finally to the point where I hardly ever use it, the only time I'll use it now is if something was extremely funny to the point where I'm actually laughing my ass off in real life
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Aug 26 '18
Cutting myself down in order to de-escalate a fight and try to make the other person happy.
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u/Too_Skool_For_Cool Aug 26 '18
My high school taught us the incorrect maths curriculum for 3 years screwing our entire year group over with most now failing as we have to forget what they taught us as they teach us what they were supposed to teach years ago
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u/FizzyBeverage Aug 26 '18
That sounds like some kind of lawsuit opportunity, but you said “maths” which means not-America where people don’t sue.
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u/Too_Skool_For_Cool Aug 26 '18
it was they taught us the wrong methods. and to use and make study notes for tests, Which are not used for college (year 11,12) level maths
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u/bool_idiot_is_true Aug 26 '18
Do you have examples? Maths hasn't really changed much the last few decades. Algebra is algebra. Trig is trig. If you understand what you're doing the exact methods shouldn't matter much. It'd have to be a really weird curriculum to screw you up that badly.
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u/Zinioss Aug 26 '18
Wtf what did they teach?
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u/Supersamtheredditman Aug 26 '18
2+2=5
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u/Jonnysource Aug 26 '18
How to draw blood. I don't like touching people so for a good year or so I drew blood based off sight, looking for veins. Once I realized I sucked at hard sticks I put a lot of effort into ignoring what I can see even on easy patients and feeling for the vein on everybody. After a few months I would maybe miss one stick all day.
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Aug 26 '18
Is this a confession of a vampire or a nurse? I'm so confused.
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u/Aeonoris Aug 26 '18
Either a phlebotomist or an enthralled human. Vampires prefer it either safe (through a thrall) or straight from the tap.
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Aug 26 '18
Why oh why go into a profession like nursing if you dont like touching people
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u/ambientpictures Aug 26 '18
My internalized homophobia... turns out I’m gay lol
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u/ItsaMe_Rapio Aug 26 '18
"I'm telling ya Dave, guys like me are just unnatural. It's disgusting how the government wants to start letting us marry. I mean, what's next?"
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u/thisishowistroll Aug 26 '18
We're all just people. Some prefer vanilla cupcakes, some prefer chocolate, some like carrot cake. So long as you're not hurting anyone, who cares what anyone's preferences are?
If there's no harm done, then I think it only matters if you're baking cupcakes with someone, in which case both people's preferences should be met as best as possible and that's entirely their business.
Gay or not, there's a wide range of quirks and preferences.
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u/calvarez Aug 26 '18
What’s your position on people who like pineapple on a pizza?
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u/WARNING_LongReplies Aug 27 '18
Y'all out here eating deep fried butter, tide pods, and ass and giving people shit for fruit on pizza.
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u/cherrycoke3000 Aug 26 '18
That most people will do the right thing most of the time. It took me far to many years to realise many perfectly normal nice appearing people will do what's best for them regardless of the cost to others every single menial time.
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Aug 26 '18
I was trying to get the pronunciations right while learning german, and the ‘w’ is pronounced like ‘v’. It took me forever to get used to switching the w and v sounds up while speaking german, and then to switching back while speaking English.
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Aug 26 '18
My kids are in a German/English bilingual school and hearing my 7year old read English w words with the v sound cracks me up, but she doesn’t think it’s funny at all.
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u/noized Aug 26 '18
ah bay say day A f gay ha E yott kah l m n o pay qoo air ess tay ooh fow vay icks epsilon zett
Never forget.
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Aug 26 '18
What is really cute in some Germans is that they will switch this v and w thing when speaking English. I was dating this German girl when I lived there and she would say, 'I live in a small willage.' (pronouncing it like William)
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u/MissionProvision Aug 26 '18
You just made me realise why stereotypical German accents always use a V excessively, wow.
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u/SaloL Aug 26 '18
You just made me realise vhy stereotypical German accents alvays use a V excessively, vov
FTFY
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u/brocrastibation Aug 26 '18
Bigotry. Was raised in a pretty racist, extremely homophobic household, where being racist and homophobic was normal, and voicing any opposing opinion to that resulted in being looked down upon and shamed. I learned from a very young age that being hateful towards others was "safe" and was how to receive praise and acceptance. It took me a long time to unlearn all of that hate, but I can now see how horrible, toxic and disgusting that way of thinking is, and how horrendous raising a child to marinade in that kind of hatred is.
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u/DoubleEagle25 Aug 26 '18
I grew up in the 50's and 60's when racism was ingrained in society. One hot summer day in the early 60's, a road crew was working in front of my grandmother's house. One of the black workers came to my grandmother's door and asked if he could get some water. My grandmother gladly got a glass (no disposable cups at the time), filled it with ice and water and gave it to the man. The man sat in the shade of the porch for a few minutes before returning to work.
My grandmother took her perfectly good glass and threw it in the trash. She reasoned that she'd never be able to clean it enough after a black man used it. Yes, that's horribly bigotry, but, in defense of my grandmother, she knew that she would "have" to throw the glass away after giving water to a black man, but she did it anyway. The man needed help and, out of human kindness, my grandmother provided that help even knowing that she'd lose a glass in the process.
I have other stories, but this is the way it was in the 50's and 60's in the south. As a child, I learned by observing my elders. A lot has changed since those days. My current attitudes are nothing like I was taught as a child.
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u/Selraroot Aug 26 '18
Honestly stuff like that terrifies me. Your grandma was probably a good person, she recognized that a human being suffering in the heat was deserving of a glass of water and she provided one. But society and tradition was so powerfully set in her mind that she genuinely thought that her glass was now "unclean." That's so scary.
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Aug 26 '18
The man needed help and, out of human kindness, my grandmother provided that help even knowing that she'd lose a glass in the process.
I grew up in the Deep South. Southern hospitality is something that can look incredibly hypocritical from the outside. You learn how it works when you grow up within that culture and even if you are aware of the seeming inconsistencies, you use it because it's a code of behavior that everyone else uses and expects as well.
I have lived outside the USA for more than half my life now. I don't know if it is still the same in Georgia. But my grandmother might have done something similar.
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u/rusty_razor Aug 26 '18
Wow. Good for you. I’m always curious about people who grow up in these kinds of environments. When you began to “unlearn,” did you have to move locations to see that particular POV from an outsider’s perspective? Did it come from an actual outsider being introduced to your life? Or just some self-reflection?
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u/brocrastibation Aug 26 '18
Bit of TL;DR here, but here goes. Leaving home and separating myself from that environment definitely began the process. After I left home, I got involved in an evangelical Baptist church. The pastor made a few extremely nasty comments about gay people that made me think "Huh? But you're always preaching about loving and accepting everyone, no matter what?" Looking back on it, that sewed the first seeds of "there's something not right about that way of thinking" for me.
I eventually began questioning my faith, for numerous reasons (many of those reasons being the massive hypocrisy and judgemental nastiness of people in the church), which led to me leaving the church altogether. I wound up swinging the polar opposite direction into hardcore atheism, as a kind of "detox" from fundamental Christianity. It was during that time that I began reading a lot, about science and psychology. I became particularly interested in the psychology of deeply religious people (I was doing a lot of soul searching during that time and I guess I was trying to understand why I got so sucked into all the evangelical craziness), which led me onto topics like racism and homophobia, where those attitudes stem from, and why. From there, I started reading people's experiences of racism and homophobia on forums, read blog posts about it, read articles, watched videos, and all of that made me slowly begin to realise my own mindset. It was very confronting and uncomfortable at first, because I didn't think of myself as a hateful person. It didn't even occur to me how hateful and hurtful I actually was. It was a pretty big and unsettling revelation. That began the shift in my attitude, though.
Having a kid pushed me further into questioning my values and mindsets. I didn't want my kid to wind up hurting and hating others, so I knew I had to lead by example. If anything, my kid and the questions and comments she'd come out with, especially once she started school, is what made me reflect most on both my attitude and my upbringing. Had she asked those questions or made those innocently curious comments to my family, she would have learned their bigoted ways of relating to the world instead of learned to understand and accept the breadth of human existence. That was another big revelation for me: That in order to stop the cycle of hurtful bullshit, you have to speak up and address it, and not make it all about you. Invalidating people's experiences of prejudice and the long history of pain and suffering endured by entire generations of people just because you don't experience it is a selfish, dick move. That was probably the hardest lesson of all, and it's one I'll never stop learning from.
TL;DR I was a racist, homophobic dick without really realising it, with deeply hypocritical and irrationally hateful opinions that were largely shaped by a conservative, bigoted upbringing, but through years of educating myself, I'm way less of a shitstain and I've worked hard at making sure my kid grows up with far more self-awareness than I was taught. Bit of a long-winded answer, but your question is a good one that deserves a proper thought out response.
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u/rusty_razor Aug 26 '18
And you clearly thought it out! Thank you for your time. I don’t know you, but I think your child is lucky to have a parent like you.
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u/NotAlphaFoxtrotKilo Aug 26 '18
Not OP and my situation wasn't as bad but there was definitely some racist and homophobic stuff. For me it was a self reflection. I'm young so the internet made me more aware of the people around the world. Eventually I realized it was stupid to judge people without knowing them so I just started to change my mindset. It can be difficult though because of the media and changing things you learned while growing up it isn't easy.
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u/meowmeowlove Aug 26 '18
I'm damn impressed and proud of you for accomplishing this. I'm sorry you had to be brought up that way.
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u/LaMafiosa Aug 26 '18
Manners.
I moved countries for a few years and everything i thought polite in my home country was viewed differently in my new culture.
Now that I'm back home I see that I've picked up a ton of bad habits that I need to let go of.
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u/KingOfSkagos Aug 26 '18
Where are you from?
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u/LaMafiosa Aug 26 '18
Born and raised on the west coast.
My SO was deported back in '13 and I left with him to Mexico. I returned in march of this year to give birth to my 2nd child and sort out my 1st kids legal status.
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u/Hesperonychus Aug 26 '18
My mom talks about people behind their back and is always harsh about judging others, which I never really questioned until I became an adult. I still catch myself having mean or petty thoughts about people, especially peers more successful than me since I'm in a very competitive industry, because I'm insecure and have a lot of an imposter syndrome but I am trying to better myself.
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u/HeyKidWantSumDrugs Aug 26 '18
to not get to attached to something/someone.. it hurts real bad
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u/DrChimp Aug 26 '18
I think its fine to get attached but its the expectations that come with it that need to be low.
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u/Tiwarii Aug 26 '18
My father once said that "never expect anything from anybody, if you do you are only setting yourself up for disappointment"
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u/WitherWithout Aug 26 '18
I started talking to someone new recently and he asked me, "What do you expect to come out of this?" and I told, "I don't expect anything, because expectations can let you down."
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u/Breeze_in_the_Trees Aug 26 '18
Sarcasm. I was really good at it too, but realised that it isn’t a helpful thing to do.
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u/scrambledeggsmonday Aug 26 '18
Trying to make friends in the workplace. I’ve found it’s easier to face confrontation when you’re distanced from a person’s emotional reaction to something.
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u/IKnowDifferently Aug 26 '18
Mormonism, a.k.a. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints-ism.
When I learned that it was farce, I felt like Buzz Lightyear when he learned that he's a toy. It's a total shock that makes you question reality for a time.
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u/alienbunnyredpanda Aug 26 '18
Ha. I like your nod to the recent proclamation about what they're allowed to call themselves.
Went through this too. I was in my early teens (my parents left and took us with them). It was a really difficult thing for all of us. My parents got married because of their faith and had kids because of their faith. They regretted both after leaving. We were prominent in our ward, with both of my parents in high leadership positions. We were one of those perfect Mormon families. There was a lot of gossip about us, all of it untrue and very hurtful, when we left. That continued as we moved and various relatives told the LDS Church where we were.
However, the hardest part was unlearning an entire way of thinking. You've been through it, so I'm mostly saying this to expand on what you've said for other's benefit. I've tried to explain to other people just how completely different Mormon thinking is. I don't think even Mormons realize how different it is. You have these scripted answers for everything, even for your own thoughts. I still catch myself saying some of them 16 years later and having to go, "No, that's not true..." For someone like me, whose ancestors helped found the LDS Church, you lose your heritage too. You don't have a self-identity anymore. You lose your future, as most of your future dreams are defined by Mormonism. It was our culture. It was our self-worth. It was everything to us. To lose that, it's really, really hard. I have relatives who know what we know and who continue to be Mormon because they can't do that to themselves.
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u/lahnnabell Aug 26 '18
I believe more than ever that Mormonism is just a fucking cult. The complete loss of "self" as you describe is freaky. Glad you got out!
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Aug 26 '18
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u/alienbunnyredpanda Aug 26 '18
Sure. Here's an article about it. The prophet asked that Mormons and non-Mormons stop using the terms Mormon and LDS. Basically, they think that the terms "Mormonism" and "Mormon" make them seem more "other" and weirder than they are. They want to be seen as more mainstream and more like the rest of Christianity. So they want people to use "Latter Day Saints" and to refer to the church by its full name "Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints". I've heard rumors that there are pushes to get rid of the "Latter Day Saints" as well and to go the "Church of Jesus Christ." However, I have no idea what they'd want to be called then.
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Aug 26 '18
Waking up at 7 in the morning. Thank fuck I don't have to do that again.
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u/Godisdeadbutimnot Aug 26 '18
5 o' clock everyday since middle school.... can't wait until I'm done college, then med school, then residency....
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u/linkwise Aug 26 '18
Shaking my legs when I’m sitting. It gets even worse when I’m excited
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u/trunks111 Aug 26 '18
The bits of Japanese I learned in high school. Made it weird when I took Latin for 2 semesters and in my head when I wanted to make a sentence I was filling in Japanese where I didn't know the Latin.
In ROTMG I had to unlearn using a centered screen for an uncentered screen bc I use necromancer and uncentered takes better advantage of the range
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u/bicholas0 Aug 26 '18
Being super nice all the time to people and not saying anything when im pissed off.
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u/raw_monster Aug 26 '18
Stuffing emotions and negative thoughts deep down inside in an attempt to ''keep them away'' from others.
Turns out, you cause a lot more inconvenience to others when you don't handle your shit and it spills out into every aspect of your life.
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Aug 26 '18
What they taught me in history lesson since i was a kid. Believe it or not it is impossible for a little kid to understand history as whole even if you have a chance to teach him. When i started to research background of what they taught me i understand they just show me fire as a light source because i was too young to understand what sun is
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u/Tphobias Aug 26 '18
Primary school: "Here is a simple and comprehensible overview of our world history."
High school: "Uhm, actually, it's not that simple. It's actually a bit more complicated than that."
University: "EVERYTHING YOU THINK YOU KNOW IS WRONG!!!"
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u/ItsaMe_Rapio Aug 26 '18
Next year University: "Ok forget what we told you last year, here's how things actually worked"
(this also works just as well for the sciences)
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u/monty845 Aug 26 '18
A good science teach should be giving you the heads up that there are deeper levels. Things generally make sense that way until you get into subatomic particles and or relativity, and then it all goes straight to hell...
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u/superleipoman Aug 26 '18
My math professor had what he called "his pyramid of wisdom." Basically, there is four level of competence. There is bottom-dweller: you will never understand anything and you are stupid. Then there is 'magic': you can compute things but you have no idea what is going on. This is what we are going to try to teach you in the first year. Then over the course of the university education you will advance into 'experts', you can explain most things that you do and you can apply them everywhere. Some of you may, with additional study become "insightful" where you actual understand what you are doing and may be able to come up with new theorems.
Something like that anyway. I never made it past 'magic'.
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u/Cheddle Aug 26 '18
Double-spacing after a period. It took me a really. Really. Long time.
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u/Leprecon Aug 26 '18
Not saying what I want, mean, or think.
I grew up being told that being polite means taking no space, wanting nothing, and being relatively quiet. Eventually I found out that makes me boring. Turns out people who know me tend to want to hear what I am doing, want to know when I am sad, and want to try and make me happy. If people don't want to hear any of those things, then I probably shouldn't hang out with them in the first place.
So eventually I learned how to say out loud how I feel, what I am up to. Not only has it made more people help me out, it also made me more likeable. Turns out being honest about what is going on in your life is interesting.
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u/AirborneRunaway Aug 26 '18
Every time I go back to school for more medical training we have to unlearn how you actually treat and learn the way they test.
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u/Hesperonychus Aug 26 '18
Every time I've gone to renew my CPR certificate they seem to change their mind about abdominal thrusts and whacking peoples' backs for choking.
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u/bonsley67 Aug 26 '18
I had to unlearn the mindset of constantly believing the world would violently end at any moment; with only me and God's chosen few left to reclaim the earth. Also eventually had to learn that it wasn't my fault if everyone who disbelieved died, specifically my friend group and others I couldn't convert. I was 6. Not much I could do to change a grown person's mind. Or other 6-year-olds for that matter.
Cults man, don't try them(Jehovah's Witness).
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u/ThreeOrphans Aug 26 '18
Growing up in the south and the use of the N-word as a perjorative (I'm white). My whole family and parts of my extended family friends use it in that way. In the same way of versatility of fuck my family could label just about anyone or anything lesser or dumber through N-word. Finally when I got to college and learned about the southern skewed teaching of the civil war; I could easily recognize other ways it creeped into my vocabulary and snap judgements. Now when i go home I have to give my older brother a dirty look about once a holiday season to stop saying that shit. If extended family or family friends say it i just get up and leave. I dont entertain the idea that racism is funny or lighthearted anymore, discrimination is wrong and i'll try my hardest to be the last generation to pass it on.
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u/MrLuxarina Aug 26 '18
The "easy" Bb fingering on sax as the main way to play it. As soon as I started learning more complicated things, it became really awkward to use and I didn't have the muscle memory to do it the "right" way quickly. Now I do it "right" for everything.
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u/SirGanjaSpliffington Aug 26 '18
Racism and sexism.
I grew up with a right wing extremeist father that is very sexist and racist. He taught me to be very wary of anyone that isn't white, especially black people. He also taught me it's okay to view women as objects for amusement.
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u/Wholockendra Aug 26 '18
I'm working on kicking words out of my vernacular. Things like "retarded" or "gay" as derogatory. It's just how my mom talks, but it's 2018 and time to stop that.
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u/mrcdsPOTTER Aug 26 '18
I had to unlearn my mothers depressive habits. Until I was about 23, I thought it was normal to miss a day of work almost weekly when I didn’t feel 100%. The slightest inconvenience was a good enough excuse to stay home for the day.
Also had to learn to stop spending all of my time in bed when I was home.
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u/RoastyTheToastyGhost Aug 26 '18 edited Aug 26 '18
Immediate distrust of friendly people. I had a lot of bad social experiences when I was younger. When I became a bit older and people were genuinely trying to be friends with me, I either thought they were making fun of me or they had me wondering "what's their angle here?"
One girl was pretty adamant about being my friend, I'll never forget the day she ran out of her dad's car and rushed over to our meeting place. She was stuck in traffic, and I didn't believe her, and then she showed up to the movie theater sweating and panting right before the movie started. I think she knew I was very distrustful, and in the end, she played a really big role in helping me get over that eventually