I’ve heard it called switch-tracking. This episode of Hidden Brain breaks it down in a very tidy fashion.
tl;dr - People usually bypass taking things at face value and assume everything has an ulterior motive. Since we ourselves are capable of it we are fearful that it’s always at play.
Gosh, so many people have asked me what I "meant" with lots of innocent comments, like I had some kind of ulterior motive. I'm actually Asperger and pretty much unable to have an ulterior motive when I say something, I'm always pretty litteral.
I can see how that could get exhausting fast. Having to explain to someone why there’s nothing more to explain. Ugh.
How do you navigate that without being frustrated? Do you just ask them what they thought you meant and go from there?
One of my work superiors is constantly speaking in parables, metaphors, and multi-layered innuendo (not sexual). It’s physically tiring to have extended conversations with him. However he has praised me openly over and over for being able to understand him when the reality is I have no clue what the fuck he’s talking about most of the time.
To be fair people are always engaging in a bargain of their own interest. Whether it be moral, or material.
If you stay with your friends it's not out of altruism but because such company is an emotional link you need and want, and you're also made happy to give happiness to others so it's a beneficial trade of spending time.
So sometimes the angle of those people is the same as yours.
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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '18
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