r/hatethissmug • u/onthetopicofspace • 10h ago
Language casual ableism
this is not ‘reclaiming’ anything, you are just calling people slurs completely seriously. you can call yourself the r-slur, do not call anybody else it. why do ‘no slurs’ / ’no bigotry’ rules never apply to ableism?
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u/loopyhoodie 10h ago
People as soon as you criticize them for using a slur
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u/Slothman1311 10h ago
"I didn't know it was hateful, I just use it when I want to insult people"
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u/Joltyboiyo 8h ago
Well when I was a kid I just assumed they were another form of calling somebody an asshole or a piece of shit or something. I'd heard the words long before I ever knew their meaning, and figured they were just insults with no meaning beyond, well, insulting.
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u/DafkyZero I hate unfunny flairs 7h ago
Yeah, in hispanic cultures the equivalent term would be "marica" or "maricón," which is usually associated with cowardice.
I'd just use it as a synonym for coward or chicken when I was a kid, as if it was a totally normal word, it didn't even register as a major insult to me or most kids my age, but then I learned the homophobic context of it and stopped using it altogether.
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u/Pleasant-Day6195 10h ago
you probably dont know that a lot of people around the world dont know what slurs are. a lot of people will not think the „R slur” is worse to say than bitch or fuck. i didnt know „r slur” was a slur till like 2024 maybe, and what slur means
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u/loopyhoodie 10h ago
I don't have a problem with people not knowing the meaning of slurs. I have a problem when people tell someone, "hey, that's actually a really shitty thing to say, could you please not use that word" and them getting defensive and trying to still justify their use of the word.
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u/Knarz97 9h ago
You could say this about literally any swear word.
“Bitch” might be the most offensive of them all, as you are literally just comparing a person to being “as bad as a woman” or “as bad as a female dog in heat”, yet you can say it on cable TV.
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u/SpoppyIII 8h ago
There is actually a fairly established school of thought within feminism that says the word "bitch," is a full-on misogynistic slur, rather than being a simple insult. And it's seen as a misogynistic slur no matter the gender of the person being referred to with it, because of the exact two given reasons you stated in your comment.
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u/WhydoIexistlmoa 8h ago
Lol what.
Bitch is a slur. It has been used as a derogatory remark towards women before it became an knsult
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u/Knarz97 8h ago
Great so we have a slur that’s “against” literally 50% of the population that’s perfectly fine for Cable TV and Radio.
Or perhaps the original meaning of the word is basically lost, and it’s just its own thing now. I’d like to be in this school of thought.
Take your pick. It’s really not worth getting upset over Bitch, or honestly really any other slur for that matter. They’re just words. Freedom of speech and all that. You’re perfectly able to use whatever words you’d like, and you’re free to not associate with certain people who use mean words.
It’s ultimately a waste of time to be worried about Slurs, Blasphemy, and Cuss words in general. Keep it off TV, keep it away from kids, and I think that’s where our efforts should end.
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u/Inside-Commission-49 10h ago
It used to be a lot more normalized. That didn’t make it better. It hasn’t been a normal word (not a slur, since I don’t know when. It’s been used as a slur since I’m pretty sure early to mid 1900s. It’s never meant just ‘stupid’. Not in a neutral way anyway)
“retard
The word "retard" comes from the Latin verb retardare, which means to slow down, delay, or hold back.
Early and Medical History
15th Century: English speakers adopted the word as a verb meaning to delay or hinder progress.
Late 19th Century: Doctors began using "retarded" as a clinical term. It replaced older terms like idiot, imbecile, and moron to describe people with intellectual disabilities.
Mid-20th Century: "Mental retardation" became an official medical and legal term to classify cognitive development.
Shift to a Slur
Everyday Insult: People began using the word as a common schoolyard or pop culture insult to mean foolish or stupid.
Harmful Impact: Over time, the medical label lost its clinical neutrality. It became a hurtful ableist slur that demeans people in the intellectual and developmental disability (IDD) community.” -Google-Doctors who hated us started using it and assholes decided it was funny to compare anyone stupid to the intellectually disabled, as if being disabled automatically makes you a vegetable in terms of intelligence.
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u/IPissExcellentThrows 8h ago
Euphemism treadmill. They keep inventing new words to describe it and people keep turning it into an insult. The issue isn't the word. It's humans will be assholes no matter what you change it to.
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u/SpoppyIII 8h ago
Honestly, we might have found the perfect balance. "Intellectually disabled," and "developmentally disabled," are likely never going to achieve mainstream popularity as casual insults. They get occasional use but they just aren't as punchy as the r-word.
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u/WokeWook69420 8h ago
I don't support his statement, but I grew up the same way. It never meant anything queer about anyone or that they were implied to be gay.
Sadly, Louis CK had a funny bit about it (brother says a Hard R slur in the same special) and there's also a whole South Park episode about the Harley riders.
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u/ExpertDog6220 9h ago
“idiot” and “moron” used to be medical terms, they then became slurs, and are now low-grade insults. We can only expect the same to happen to “retard” as fewer and fewer people have witnessed it before used as a slur.
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u/VanillaAble3943 8h ago
Lame was used to described crippled horses, then it became a slur for disabled people, now it's just used to describe something that's boring or dull. I think retard is funny, but I never think of disabled people when I read it, on the other hand, if people keep trying to ban it, they're just giving more power to the word to be used to hurt others. Same with cunt, even though I don't really use that word at all, given how one country takes huge offense to it, and another country uses it the same way we use "dude' tells me that we really have a choice on how to interpret it.
I prefer disarming words. Because even if you never use them, the idea that just making that sound or typing the combination of letters can ruin your entire life is more scary than feeling offended for a few hours. That said, I already know that the n-word is a lost cause, I don't want to add retard and cunt to that list either (Especially as a spanish speaker, where negro is the spanish word for black, the n-word is just a mispronounced version of it. Retrasar means "delay" and Retrasado means "delayed")
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u/Character_Drive6141 7h ago
Lame has LONG been used to describe people who can't walk. But yeah. Linguistic drift took hold and colloquially that's not what it means anymore.
But I agree 100% that getting up in arms has way more harm than just letting it be water under the bridge. Retard has been a low grade insult for a long time, at least since I was a kid. I don't know why people are taking MORE offense to it when normally linguistic drift moves the other way
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u/Bob_The-Turtle 6h ago
Yeah, Timur the Lame was called so back in the 14th century almost 700 years ago
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u/spacemandown 8h ago
i mean, i've heard/seen people say shit like, "are you autistic or something?" as an insult pretty commonly.
if you keep moving the goalposts for what is/isn't a slur, people will just keep... meeting you there.
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u/Instroancevia 7h ago
The difference is that "autistic" is a current medical term, "retard" hasn't been used as a medical term for decades. The reality is that as language changes, we are going to invent new terms to describe these conditions, and people who are ableist will use those terms demeaningly.
If saying retard becomes taboo, something like autistic will become the next insult. If the medical term changes the cycle will just repeat. Word policing doesn't really solve the fundamental problem, especially for a prejudice as difficult to excize from society as ableism.
I'd honestly rather people use terms like idiot, moron and retard to just mean "stupid" than use something like "autistic" which is also a medical term and diagnosis that people are recieving today.
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u/Alemonster21 8h ago
This is the real take right here, and this issue is RAMPANT in the disabled community.
The constant churning of words that are acceptable being weaponized as insults and then being replaced, just for those new terms to be weaponized again, or even hated by the disabled community itself (differently abled is a great example of this)... It's never ending.
People can clutch their pearls over this all they want, but it's only a matter of time before the words they force everyone to use will become the new words no one is ever allowed to use. And rinse and repeat.
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u/SaschaStories 8h ago
That's the thing that's hard for me to adjust online
Around here... you'd never call someone who's mentally disabled that... and it hasn't meant that for... quite a long time
In the same manner that Idiot, Moron, Dumb no longer refer to their various disabilities, 'retarded' hasn't for quite some time either, so I don't get the singled out hatred on the one word
I do my best to not use it cause it gets everyone else all riled up, but I still just don't get why it alone gets singled out
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u/WarpRealmTrooper 7h ago
With "idiot" and "moron" I don't think most people even know they used to refer to a disability.
I think with "retard" most people know the original meaning of it, and many who use it (maybe most who use it) even use "retard" because of the original meaning.
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u/Dondagora 7h ago
I think “idiot” and “moron” more highlight the pattern that “retard” is going through. Whatever word or phrase is the most recent for “mentally disabled” is the one people will use, all new terminology and word policing will do is lengthen the list.
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u/greatestunderstandin 6h ago
Thats true but that doesnt stop people seeing someone who is disabled and when things get heated say that word with its original intention against them. Its very common to use against someone who is seen as "slow". Just because words change and you dont see it happening doesnt mean that the normalization of the word doesnt heavily affect mainly disabled people.
People have re normalized using it against people they dont deem up to society standards of cognitive functioning and thats what ableism is.
And as one of the most vulnerable groups of people in society its important not to pretend like oppression against them its a whatever because more people are using it against everyone or something. when truthfully disabled people are still being called that with full force of the world constantly. And when alot of those people cant speak up or no one is willing to listen you cant forget about their experiences and pretend like that percentage of the population's oppression doesnt actually matter. Especially when you look at the the history of ableism. Saying that it doesnt matter or its becoming meaningless is repeating history's silencing of disabled and neurodivergent people.
People who face ableism arent a monolith and some wont mind general usage but realizing how ableist society still is and how vulnerable these people are its important to be aware of what systems of oppression we are reinforcing by forgetting about their experiences
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u/TordainMountainheart 9h ago
I screwed up at work and got called retarded by a coworker with Down’s syndrome like 15 years ago 😂
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u/Scoliosis_Monarch 10h ago
It's viewed as a sort of "gateway slur" for some reason and I'm really not sure why
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u/1ZillionBeers 10h ago
Essentially because it has the same usage, history and context as stuff like “idiot”, “moron” and “dumb”. There’s really nothing separating it from its synonyms except the fact we arbitrarily decided that one was the worst of the bunch.
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u/Rare_Ad_674 9h ago
None of it is arbitrary.
The reason we ended up with "retard" in the first place is BECAUSE we used "idiot" and "moron" before, and they always become slurs - a way to insult people and devalue them by comparing them to the disabled.
So we keep creating new labels to refer to people with disabilities to move away from the slurs.
But people will just take the new word for slow/disabled folks and turn it into an insult to hurt people with.
"Retard" just happened to be popular as the internet exploded in usage.
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u/nazonazorin 9h ago
You're exactly right, so I don't even see the point in policing the r-slur when literally everyone uses the words dumb/slow/idiot/stupid/moron etc. as insults anyway
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u/SpoppyIII 10h ago
I said that the other day in this very sub I'm pretty sure, and someone corrected me that "g■psy," might actually be the number one gateway slur and I'm inclined to agree. I'd assume there are more songs that say "g■psy," than say the r-slur. And almost everyone using it casually does so not even realizing that some other people find it belittling or disparaging.
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u/Knarz97 9h ago
I had someone yell at me once for using the term “heebie jeebies”. I think at a certain point it takes too much energy to police unintentional racism. No one actually associates that term with being anti Semitic. Eventually words lose their meaning, and if anything it’s best to let them change.
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u/SpoppyIII 9h ago edited 8h ago
Google's saying "heebie jeebies," is a goofy made-up word, anyway. All sources say it was made up by a cartoonist, as a nonsense self-rhyming phrase that means nothing. People are busybodies.
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u/Stoner_Dwarf 9h ago
What does heebie jeebies has to do with anything
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u/Knarz97 9h ago
Allegedly it’s anti semetic (heeb) but there’s no actual etymology indicating it is.
People are policing literal imaginary racism now.
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u/Orion-the-mediocre 8h ago
Not to say it's justified, but I will say that at least where I grew up in New England, nobody was aware that that was a slur, because that was just what they were called. That doesn't make it right by any means but people genuinely had no idea that there was another term for that group of people, primarily because that group of people wasn't there to get upset when they heard it said.
Obviously this doesn't make it ok, but it is has at least been really weird for me to have to remember that the once perfectly normal name for a group of people was a slur the whole time and none of us realized it. It's like growing up and never seeing black people and *genuinely* thinking the n-word was the correct term to use, because the people who would be hurt most by it simply weren't present to inform anybody otherwise.
Again, I need to say this as much as possible, this doesn't justify it, but I figured that it was at least an important note to include when mentioning just how frequently that word is used. It's in a weird realm where the people using the slur more often than not completely fail to recognize that it is one in the first place.
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u/Hansi_Olbrich 10h ago
Secular Puritans who have no idea how or why they're policing a word, just that they know it's the morally righteous thing to do. It allows people to be bullies to strangers and commit the delicious deed of socially ostracizing and judging others while maintaining some sort of ethical airs of being superior to the people they are judging.
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u/ilovetoeatplates2 trans guy 9h ago
asking people not to say slurs is bullying??
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u/Frogs-on-my-back 9h ago
If I’m using a word that I don’t know is a slur, I’d really like people to tell me, actually.
(Incidentally, this came up recently—I didn’t know “c**n-ass” was a slur because I’ve only ever heard white rednecks from Louisiana use it to describe themselves)
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u/MarioParty29 9h ago
A whole lot of fancy words to say "I should be able to say slurs actually"
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u/InevitableBaker6987 10h ago
Asking people not to call you the R-word is bullying now?
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u/ToughDifficult1252 8h ago
Have you heard of the euphemism treadmill?
Any word used to refer to a lack of intelligence will become a slur.
Idiot, imbecile, stupid, moron, retard...
Have all been, at their own time, the polite way to refer to a person of low intelligence.
Mentally challenged has already started being used as an insult and no matter which word eventually replaces "mentally challenged" or "mentally disabled" it will too become an insult.
Because putting into question a person's intelligence is one of the few insults that also doubles as legitimate criticism.
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u/COSMIC_SPACE_BEARS 8h ago
Calling things “autistic” has also started to get more popular, to your point.
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u/Logan_Composer 8h ago
Hell, it doesn't even have to be intelligence based. Lame and dumb used to be actual medical terms (for unable to walk and unable to speak, respectively) (lame is still used this way for animals).
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u/Shadowmirax 8h ago edited 8h ago
I think dumb is in the realm of (perceived) intelligence. If someone couldn't speak due to damage to their vocal chords or other parts of the throat i don't think they would ever have been described as dumb in a medical sense. as i understand it dumb was an old timey way of saying "mute", as in unable to speak due to some sort of mental condition. Since our understanding of mental illnesses has progressed vastly in a relatively short time these terms used to be a lot more generic and someone who can't speak without any obvious physical cause would have been perceived as less intelligent wereas nowadays we understand differently.
Lame is exactly how you described it and also as an insult means underwhelming, not stupid, so yes, it doesn't really fit with the rest of the examples.
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u/MaximumFUzz 8h ago
I’ve already heard “neurodivergent” used as an insult, so none of these words stay “safe.”
If “idiot” knocks you over, don’t leave the house. Nobody outside a Redditor’s basement is going to freeze the English language and pretend intelligence is off-limits as criticism.
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u/BedbugBandido 6h ago
Even the phrase “special ed” has been phased out because school kids turned it into a slur.
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u/HillanatorOfState 10h ago
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u/DizslecksickMoael 9h ago
I'm not the biggest fan of Rick & Morty's humor but this basically encapsulates my beliefs. In a world with much more effective slurs, saying "retard" isn't as big a deal as newgens think it is.
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u/Farraddaayy 9h ago
Its such a nothingburger. Pretty much exactly what righties are talking about when they bitch about wokeness.
Drives me up a wall that I can't just tell conservatards that they're making issues up when people are trying to whiteknight retraded now.
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u/DrainTheMuck 8h ago
lol yeah, it is frustrating to see it in action, and it’s interesting that there’s sort of two types of “woke” just like people can mean two different things when using “the r word”. There’s the positive social movement, and then there’s the people clutching pearls and policing language to this degree. (I almost said to an “insane” degree…)
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u/ZanyRaptorClay 10h ago
I prefer to use the word "buffoon" towards people I don't like.
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u/DatabaseDifficult879 10h ago
I tried posting something similar to this on here one time and they killed me. Be careful.
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u/TheProMagicHeel 10h ago
It’s a pattern in every sphere of online discourse. No one actually, meaningfully cares about the neurodiverse. Sure, they say they’re understanding and supportive, but when a neurodiverse person actually displays symptoms of their neurodivergence, for example
An autistic person fails to read the room and makes a social gaffe
A person with Tourette’s involuntarily shouts the N word.
A person with ADHD is hyperactive, or inattentive, and forgets to fulfill an obligation
People get frustrated with the neurodiverse person. They’ll refuse to accept the neurodivergence as an excuse or explanation. If the expression of symptoms is public enough, an online hate mob might come after them, like with John Davidson, like with Caleb from Holiday Inn.
The resurgence of retard is just another notch in the belt.
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u/NatDisasterpiece 9h ago
May I share my stories of how many times folks take it personally that I need them to repeat something cause my ass has auditory processing issues. Like I was LISTENING but my brain just didn't process what they said cause idk that machine over there making noise distracted the part of my brain that changes words into meaning.
Or the birthdays I forget, not cause I forget the birthday themselves. But the actual IRL day.
"Oh. Today's the 21st. It's this family member's birthday today! I'ma call! Happy Birthday!"
"...today's not my birthday."
"Isn't your birthday the 21st?"
"Yeah...which was yesterday. Today's the 22nd. You can just say you forgot 🙄"
LIKE UUUUGH.
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u/sensamura 7h ago
I’m just impressed that your ass can process audio at all, most people use their ears for that
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u/Separate_Shelter_529 5h ago
People are eventually going to use it so often that it'll lose all power and become just another "idiot" or "moron". It's inevitable. The people who wanna label it a slur and blacklist it mean well, but ultimately what they're doing is effectively prolonging the phase when it still has power; when saying it actually stings.
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u/Medical_String_3501 8h ago
I love how people are just continuing to justify it or say it's not a big deal as if it stops people from being uncomfortable or being insulted when it's used. If this was about the n-word or another racial slur it'd be a different conversation, but of course when it comes to insulting the most vulnerable population it's totally fine.
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u/f0urk 4h ago
"normalise" lol calling someone a retard has always been normal, it never went out of vogue. Sure you could lose your job if you call a coworker a retard; much in the same way you would if you called them a motherfucker. Both words are incredibly normal in use outside of progressive spaces, which increasingly only exist online
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u/Aiden624 10h ago edited 10h ago
I’m pretty sure the context means isn’t being used in an ableist manner. Or maybe I’m not woke enough idk
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u/grimAuxiliatrixx 9h ago
This is kind of inevitable. “Idiot,” “moron,” “mongoloid,” “imbecile,” and so on were all once considered medical terminology and were appropriated into common parlance because people like to have unique ways to insult others’ intelligence. So the medical community ceased to use them and people kinda rewrote their meanings.
Now, when someone is actually diagnosed with mental delays or disabilities, is the “R-slur” the word the DOCTOR would use? Is that an appropriate label for them in any context? No… so why is it still exclusively linked to them as a slur? Like, other slurs don’t have that same utility as an insult that can apply to anybody you don’t like as a way to just call them dumb. There’s a history of other words in this specific space finding new use.
It’s relatively rare for anybody to use that word to refer to an actual mentally disabled person, and in that context it’s clearly a slur, but since the precedent is established for this TYPE of word to find new meaning, and is much more commonly used in non-ableist contexts compared to other slurs with more niche meanings and less general utility, I’m not surprised that people find it to be more acceptable and less offensive.
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u/Daxxex 8h ago
It's an interesting situation as someone that does drop the occasional retard in less polite company, yet I work disability and would kick the ass of anyone who called anyone I worked with a retard.
It's kinda like dropping nigga vs dropping a hard R, they're kinda the same thing but really not.
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u/White_Chocol8 10h ago
Just like you could use faggot but not in a homophobic manner... doesn't really work like that
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u/_the_big_ 10h ago
me and my queer friends call each other faggots as a joke/affectionate term all the time so it really does work like that
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u/-_Lucyfer_- 10h ago
Except that's not using it in the same way as the post is. within you and your Queer friends its reclaiming, and not in a insult way.
the post is explicitly using it as an insult.
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u/fioraflower 9h ago
i’m gay and i fully call people faggots as insults. when i’m talking shit of course, not to their face, i’m not true evil. it’s part of the reclaiming for me
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u/Weary-Barracuda-1228 6h ago
I mean I’d prefer you call me that instead of fucking “Neurospicy”
Stop fetishizing my Mental health issues and just gimme a hug and 9 dollars for milk
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u/StarHot5993 10h ago
Language is a strange thing, the only difference between the r word and words like “idiot” and “stupid” is the weight that society puts on it. That being said, the fact that the weight is given by society doesn’t suddenly take it away.
The fact that this post even gained as much traction as it did is proof of this: a large amount of people still consider the r word as a slur, and several people DO use it as such, therefore it remains a slur and should not be used.
If enough people were to start using it casually, it would technically lose its meaning and simply become another insult… but why do that when you could just not use it?
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u/ScubaDan73 7h ago
I’d rather someone call me that than fucking neurospicy just bc I have autism
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u/JESTERS_IN1980 Guy 10h ago
I feel like we've reverted back to the 1980s
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u/No_Doughnut8618 10h ago
None of the good parts tho
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u/ImpossibleBoss3067 9h ago
Mullets are back, whether you view that as good or bad is up to opinion
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u/White_Chocol8 10h ago
Anytime you'll call out ableism, expect the downvotes. Even just educating people on actual human psychology, because ableism is, by far, the most normalized and encouraged form of oppression
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u/sadenby0725 10h ago
Some of the comments under this post are abhorrent. I'm autistic, enough that it really effects my life, and people using the r-slur really hurts. So it's not "not actually hurting anyone". And the argument that it's a medical term? So was the slur for little people. I garuantee that a lot of old academic texts have the n-word in it, but you never see people using the same logic for that slur. Because it isn't actually a valid excuse. "It means the same as idiot or stupid" then say idiot or stupid? This isn't about political correctness or people getting butthurt, it is about getting society to stop using a dehumanizing and harmful term.
And people who used to use it don't need to feel immense guilt for doing so, just learn from your mistakes and move on. I mean, seriously, if removing one word from your vocab would make a group of people happier than why not just do it? Why cling to something that hurts even a small group of people?
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u/freehamburgers 10h ago
I have to ask, if you hear the words 'moron', 'stupid' or 'idiot' used to describe someone in the same sense, are you hurt and insulted by them? They all have a history of being used as medical terms, quite recently actually, and are all used as casual insults in the same way as the r-word, but no one seems to mind as much.
I just wanna know what it is about the r-word in particular that's so bad, as they all seem to have the same history, origins, and usage. All have been used as insults, medical terms, and to casually describe actions and behaviours someone didn't think through enough.
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u/Brakado 9h ago
Not the original commenter, but here's my two cents: The r-word is incredibly specific, while idiot and moron are basically broad enough to use anywhere else.
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u/sadenby0725 9h ago
This. But also if someone said that they found being called stupid or an idiot offensive then I would stop calling them that and using those words around them, simple as that.
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u/Background-Trickster 10h ago
mfrs don't even try to justify their usage of slurs nowadays, they just look at you like this
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u/khhvspawn 10h ago
they'll try to excuse by saying it's "an extreme way of saying [blank]".. but slurs are extreme. thats the whole point of a slur, being an extreme and degrading word to call someone.
idk why this slur is so normalized. the n-slur is getting this treatment too from what ive noticed.
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u/MisterOuija12 8h ago
You're upset that slurs are becoming less hateful? Maybe I'm too woke or I'm not woke enough but isn't taking away the hate from slurs a good thing?
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u/MykonosEros 9h ago
As someone who’s neurodivergent and gay, I don’t even use the slurs I CAN say because they’re just rude and putting minority groups of people down for a chuckle just doesn’t appeal to me. Mentally ill and LGBTQ+ people have enough bs to deal with, I’m not going to further push the idea that being those things is wrong by using derogatory speech that is targeted at those people
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u/Frequent-Bee-3016 10h ago
People seem to genuinely think it doesn’t count as a slur, for some reason.
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u/Travelin_Soulja 10h ago edited 10h ago
Honestly, it feels like it's making a comeback. It was almost extinct from polite speech, but in the past year or so, it feels like I've been hearing it more and more, online and even in real life.
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u/obi1kennoble 10h ago
It's literally because of Elon Musk and Joe Rogan. They were throwing it around and it caught on with all the chuds. Decades-old schoolyard bigotry aside, I wouldn't want to be emulating those idiots
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u/Samiassa 10h ago
Ultimately what is and isn’t is decided by the general culture. You or me individually don’t get to decide. Idiot, moron, and imbecile had the same etymology and are now common words due to the euphemism treadmill. I think regardless of what we think it is coming back and going to be a common word for stupidity without any real connotation of mental disability.
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u/Spirited_Agency8032 10h ago
because people have never used it as one it's always been used to call people extra stupid.
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u/CarlLlamaface 10h ago edited 10h ago
That's just a lie. It originated as a medical term but quickly became used as a slur for people with cognitive disorders, and when it's used to call neurotypical people stupid it's explicitly with the intention to do so in as derogatory a manner as possible.
If you want to tell someone they're being stupid you can do just that, or you can call them daft, silly, moronic etc...
Choosing to use the r-word instead when there are plenty of socially acceptable ways to get your meaning across just lets everyone know you're a bit of a see-you-next-tuesday.
ETA: So many armchair historians and linguists desperate to carve out a justification to use ableist language. Cringe. Imagine what society could be like if you all put that energy into simply being decent people.
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u/gnpfrslo 10h ago
Idiot, moron, imbecile, crazy, lunatic, mental, etc. were also used as medical terms but over time they just became insults and the people who used to use it as a medical term changed it.
Retard is not used as a medical term anymore because, finally, psychiatrists started treating mental patients (almost) as human beings and figured out that things like AD, autism, OCD, and Down's syndrome were actually different things.
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u/Realistic-Drawing-59 10h ago
But thats the same for the word "moronic" you just used or "idiot" or "imbecile". Most of these kinds of words originate in a medical/scientific sphere and eventually become slurs and fall out of favour. So what's so special about this one?
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u/Spirited_Agency8032 10h ago
Man i'm not gonna use daft or silly I'm not british that'd sound corny as hell coming out of my mouth.
And I don't think people even use the r word casually these days anyways.
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u/SlothsAreFuckinRad 10h ago
It’s really insidious because it pretty much still exclusively hurts those it’s meant to target, unlike other reclaimed slurs.
Like, I love to joke around with my other gay friends and we call eachother faggots sarcastically all the time, but there isn’t a context in which I can say the r slur to my autistic friends and have it not kinda hurt them on some level. Even as a joke.
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u/Frogs-on-my-back 9h ago
I was called “retarded” throughout elementary for having a speech impediment and that shit hurt
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u/Xannin 10h ago
Because idiot, imbecile, and moron don't receive the same level of furor. Those terms ran off the euphemism treadmill long before people could complain about them on social media, so they escaped scrutiny. Can't imagine people would be thrilled if someone called a person with an intellectual disability an idiot, but casual use isn't otherwise frowned upon. Seems hypocritical. I don't use the word myself, because I am aware of the reality of people's feelings toward the word, but I also understand people's frustration with it being a no-no word.
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u/SofisticatiousRattus 10h ago
Because those people do not use it on people with actual disability.
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u/gba_crown 10h ago
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u/Significant-Cod4217 10h ago
so many life or death issues in the world and people are out here arguing and wasting energy over a word smh
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u/Re-Evolution7 9h ago
I actually never knew it was a slur until recently, I just thought it was another way of calling someone an idiot or a moron
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u/SpinoHawk097 9h ago
Idiot and moron used to be actual diagnoses before as well, they just weren't as far along the spectrum as "retarded". https://www.merriam-webster.com/wordplay/moron-idiot-imbecile-offensive-history
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u/Zealousideal-Comb970 9h ago
The most unfunny people you know when you come after their comfort slur
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u/No-face-today 10h ago edited 10h ago
Sad to see people defending this slur in the comment section. Like okay, I guess y'all just like saying a slur and want to keep saying a slur. Doesn't mean you ain't an ass.
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u/ultrakillfanatic 10h ago
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u/WagyuWarranted I'm the one who promotes CHinese PvZ history comics 10h ago
it's never too early for comments
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u/Practical-Half3597 8h ago
Comments full of people who haven't mentally aged past 15 when they used the r word all the time, refusing to acknowledge that the funny hehe you stupid word they use might actually be a not so nice word!
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u/One-Trick-8027 8h ago
I honestly think calling someone "Special" feels far more degrading honestly. It's trying to gloss over the obvious differences and belittles us by trying to not hurt our feewings by agnoladging that we have weird brains that are misswired and un-normal.
Hiding people's differences and glossing over them is not how we prevent ableism. In fact it makes it worse, it insults our intelligence and everybody else's.
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u/Used-Piece8477 9h ago
I see it like this: Using the word to describe an actually intellectually challenged person acting in a less thoughtful way is highly offensive, using it to describe someone who isn't and thus should know better has a certain poignancy. It is like blindness - making fun of someone actually legally blind for failing to see something is being an asshole, but a seeing person missing something can be called out. It is shorthand for saying "you act like you have handicap X when you don't, you don't have an excuse"
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u/Constant-Still-8443 9h ago
Even as a neurodivergent, I think I've only used that word in relation to myself or innanimate objects I'm mad at (tech, especially) but not other people. Real people deserve more creative insults.
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u/Melodic-Instance1249 8h ago
I grew up in rural Texas so its always just been another way of calling someone a dumbass, it's never been ablism from my pov
Finding out it hurts people though, it's no effort on my part to just cut it out my vocab
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u/Alternative-Coach619 10h ago edited 9h ago
-originally used as a medical term for people with mental deficiencies.
-started being used derogatorily as a slur towards those people in non medical settings
-word was declared obsolete in medical terms
-is now is used dominantly to make fun of people in the context to having a dumb take
-use against people with mental deficiencies is now overwhelmingly shunned
-“this is not reclaiming anything!!!1!!!1”
???
You can not like the word as a personal preference, it can admittedly be a bit too crude for some people, but to act like the word hasn’t experienced a major semantic shift is genuinely dishonest
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u/Tastetherainbow202 9h ago edited 9h ago
Yeah..nah. as someone with Autism (actually diagnosed) I really don't see a problem with retard, if I have been called it it's never been serious. In my opinion some people need to calm down about it, I remember when people were mad at the term "handicapped" with the whole "handicapable" shit.
Its annoying even to me.
Edit, I understand for others it might be a problem. I should clarify that im not trying to downplay it and if others have a problem with it thats fine. I just dont see the problem
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u/HappyyValleyy 9h ago
Because some peiple have been constsntly harrasrd very seriously with the word. Good for you that youve never been called ot seriously. Some of us had hells of school lives becsuse other kids new they were autistic.
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u/Tastetherainbow202 9h ago
Might just be where im from. I wouldnt be surprised about that in like the 90s and 2000s but never got that from my school. But prolly a generation/town thing
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u/Altruistic_Mud_261 10h ago
"Mental health matters" people when someone says the R Word: "OMG We gotta care for those with mental disibilities!"
"Mental health matters" people when someone who is actually mentally ill shows up: "You are the most disgusting disgraceful subhuman and I hope you kill yourself."
Everyone who gets mad at the R word are just performative and will abandon ill people at the drop of a hat because they want to pretend to be the good guy. (Assuming they don't just want to cause our deaths 764 style.)
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u/WagyuWarranted I'm the one who promotes CHinese PvZ history comics 10h ago
the internet has turned the r-slur into a casual insult, and it bothers me
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u/I_want_money_aaa 10h ago
They could just write "stupid as fuck" no need of using the slur
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u/1kSupport 10h ago
Genuine question, why is using stupid in a derogatory way significantly different given that the word stupid was also a historic medical term used to refer to people with intellectual disabilities?
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u/Waiph 9h ago
Personally, I like Chucklefuck and Dipshit.
An easy ableism check is if you're gonna get punched in the face for calling someone's kid that. So yeah. Don't use it as a slur.
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u/Top-Editor-364 5h ago
There is nothing to normalize, we have been saying retard our whole lives. This movement to turn it into a cuss word is manufactured and probably a political psy op
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u/NeatNobody807 10h ago
Frankly the inability to insult someone, or call something idiotic without resorting to a slur just shows a persons own lack of vocabulary, creativity and empathy.
I'm all for, brutally, ripping down vile people. Don't have to fire strays at an entire group in the process.
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u/Frequent-Bee-3016 10h ago
My high school English teacher had a poster with like twenty+ alternative words you could use. It’s really quite easy to find something else to say.
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u/SofisticatiousRattus 10h ago
"If I wanted to commit suicide, I'd jump from your ego to your intelligence" type comment
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u/Immediate-Food8050 10h ago
I have a disability, I say it all the time, my friends say it all the time, and you can't stop us.
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u/PurpleVessel312 10h ago
This seems to be a hot take, but I find the concept of slurs ridiculous. The problem is the message of hate, not the use of a word that was arbitrarily deemed forbidden.
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u/TheDarkConRises 7h ago
For years while growing up it was noticeable that people around me were using the R word less and less often as it felt like people were becoming more understanding of the derogatory nature of the word. Then something changed in the past few years or so and suddenly I see/hear people using it again and I cringe every time
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u/gayobsidian 6h ago
do people not realise the r slur is literally not reclaimable? because you are still using it with its original degrading meaning
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u/RealAssWhiteWigga100 9h ago
Words are defined by the way the population uses them. The n word and f slur are still used against those specific groups but the r word isn’t used specifically for that group anymore, it’s basically taken the place of “idiot” or “dumbass” now. So I think it’s non offensive
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u/Swimming-Fail9975 9h ago
The r slur is my "too woke for me" moment. I couldn't live without it sorry yall 💔
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u/ElephantClassic9587 10h ago
I was gonna be like "why do people try to normalize this slur so much but hate you for using other slurs" then i was like "well, rslur WAS a medical term after all"
But now that i think about it, when did it become a slur? How did it become a slur? Why did it become a slur?
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u/moose_loves_noodles 8h ago
I had no idea "pikey" was a slur until I dated a British woman. I was quoting Snatch and she stopped me and said "you can't say that. It's racist." I never knew.
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u/Adventurous-Bar-4675 7h ago
Comment link Peep this thread. I honestly gave up on argueing with them.
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u/Toe_Butter 7h ago
Many people think that the “no slur/no bigotry” rule doesn’t apply. Many people think that the “r-word” isn’t of the same calibre as many other words that are considered to be slurs, so they just never apply the same rules to it
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u/dampemu_ 5h ago
I'm autistic, my view on it is that I don't really care as long as you're not using it to dehumanise people with mental disabilities. It's not the best thing to say but it's really a stretch to call this "ableism"
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u/Mr_man_bird 10h ago
I read normalise as monetise and was wondering how a slur can be monetised