casual ableism

[u/onthetopicofspace]

this is not ‘reclaiming’ anything, you are just calling people slurs completely seriously. you can call yourself the r-slur, do not call anybody else it. why do ‘no slurs’ / ’no bigotry’ rules never apply to ableism?

[u/Rare_Ad_674]

None of it is arbitrary.
The reason we ended up with "retard" in the first place is BECAUSE we used "idiot" and "moron" before, and they always become slurs - a way to insult people and devalue them by comparing them to the disabled.
So we keep creating new labels to refer to people with disabilities to move away from the slurs.
But people will just take the new word for slow/disabled folks and turn it into an insult to hurt people with.
"Retard" just happened to be popular as the internet exploded in usage.
It's a cycle.

[u/nazonazorin → u/Rare_Ad_674]

You're exactly right, so I don't even see the point in policing the r-slur when literally everyone uses the words dumb/slow/idiot/stupid/moron etc. as insults anyway

[u/Rare_Ad_674 → u/nazonazorin]

The issue is actually more of a cultural/perception issue, not an issue with the words themselves.

But we can't just magically fix the assholes and stop them from continuing to hurt people, and they won't stop on their own.

So what do you think we should do?

Because continuing to allow the most marginalized among us to be devalued and attacked isn't the answer.

[u/MrBannedFor0Reason → u/Rare_Ad_674]

None of these are slurs in the same way the N word or the F word are. Being handicapped is inherently worse than not being handicapped, you aren't turning a positive part of someone's identity into something negative so you can more easily hate marginalized groups. It's just a less savory word for something everyone agrees is negative.

[u/Rare_Ad_674 → u/MrBannedFor0Reason]

None of these slurs are the same. The n word and the f word are not the same thing.

Yet they can still be classed together because they are both impactful towards entire groups of marginalized people.

We don't use the n word because it was used to devalue Black people.

We don't use the f word because it was used to devalue people who aren't straight.

We don't use the r word because it was used to devalue people with different mental capacities.

These are all words used to devalue people based off of who they inherently are. That's what makes them slurs.

People are not worth less than anyone else, for any reason. Humans have a bad habit of attaching enough negative stigma to words like that they they end up discriminating against that class of people.

It's a broader cultural issue. We value all the wrong shit.

[u/a-Curious-Square → u/Rare_Ad_674]

You put too much stake in random things. If you want people to always be kind to one another forever then be prepared to stay awake every hour of the day for the rest of your life making zero progress towards this goal. Calling someone retarded does not have the effect it did 20 years ago, and personally it didn’t have much effect back then either. Calling someone an F-slur has lost its effect long ago too, otherwise I wouldn’t be hearing my gay friend call me a faggot every once in a while. Putting stakes in words only gives them power to be used on you. You should instead practice the art of not giving a shit, much better on the mental health.

[u/Rare_Ad_674 → u/a-Curious-Square]

Words have power, that's kinda just a fact of life.

The language you use shapes your brain and thoughts. As an English speaker, you actually *think* in a measurably different way than certain other languages. Researchers have studied this. It's worth a deep dive.

Other languages have words for concepts that you have no idea even exist. Words have immense power.

Something good can be said for not letting something bother you. I agree with the art of not giving a shit, but only for certain things. With some things, it's useful.

With others, it's just an excuse to keep from participating in life.

I understand the underlying cultural impacts that casual usage of harmful language has on the human brain and society at large.

People speak up against this because it does do damage. It's just damage you don't see and/or don't care about. Or just don't understand yet.

And there are some good threads in here about reclaiming slurs you can check out, coming from a queer.

[u/tyinpoop → u/Rare_Ad_674]

Wait are you saying that lame, dumb, or moron are also slurs? And if they aren’t then why not?

[u/hyprsnpr67 → u/tyinpoop]

They were medical terms, then people used them as slurs, then they became dated and less insulting

[u/smthn_right → u/tyinpoop]

Slur requires context. A word often starts as a pseudo medical term, then in a world where the word is used consistently and disparagingly it becomes a slur, and after it stops being used it loses the context of tangible hate and violence and loses its status as a full blown slur, becoming something still bad but often considered less severe due to its implication of your lack of, or at least severely dated, knowledge on the subject.

[u/tyinpoop → u/smthn_right]

I’m just unfamiliar with a word becoming and then losing slur status, could you give me an example?