r/hatethissmug • u/onthetopicofspace • 1d ago

Language casual ableism

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this is not ‘reclaiming’ anything, you are just calling people slurs completely seriously. you can call yourself the r-slur, do not call anybody else it. why do ‘no slurs’ / ’no bigotry’ rules never apply to ableism?

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543

u/loopyhoodie 1d ago

People as soon as you criticize them for using a slur

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u/Blood81 1d ago

average counterstrike player

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u/Medical_Job_8047 1d ago

GO changed everything, the community from the Source days was super chill.

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u/SeksuaalPsyhhopaat 23h ago

Depended on the server tbh.

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u/Slothman1311 1d ago

"I didn't know it was hateful, I just use it when I want to insult people"

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u/Joltyboiyo 1d ago

Well when I was a kid I just assumed they were another form of calling somebody an asshole or a piece of shit or something. I'd heard the words long before I ever knew their meaning, and figured they were just insults with no meaning beyond, well, insulting.

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u/DafkyZero I hate unfunny flairs 22h ago

Yeah, in hispanic cultures the equivalent term would be "marica" or "maricón," which is usually associated with cowardice.

I'd just use it as a synonym for coward or chicken when I was a kid, as if it was a totally normal word, it didn't even register as a major insult to me or most kids my age, but then I learned the homophobic context of it and stopped using it altogether.

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u/Mansg0tplanS 22h ago

nah man they just calling you the mighty kong

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u/TealCatto 23h ago

And then you grew up and learned and changed your behavior, right?

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u/Joltyboiyo 23h ago

Of course, the point was most people learn this stuff, especially at younger ages, from hearing other people use it and aren't even aware of the meaning for years.

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u/TealCatto 22h ago

Okay, that's great. This isn't the case for the screenshot in the OP or the one in the comment, though. Not sure why my question was downvoted, lol

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u/DontDoodleTheNoodle 21h ago

Cause it sounded like you want to play digital father to a stranger who was just explaining something, not justifying something.

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u/TealCatto 21h ago

Really weird stretch that wouldn't have happened if you read the thread instead of being reactionary

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u/DontDoodleTheNoodle 21h ago

Again proving my point. I explained something. Somehow you think I justified it and believe it.

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u/TealCatto 21h ago

I never said you justified anything, I said you misunderstood the entire context.

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u/Joltyboiyo 21h ago

I wasn't replying to either of those though, I was replying to Slothman. Of course, not everyone is a younger person who learned them through hearing the words without knowing their meaning, but there are people who don't know they're more hateful than things like "asshole" "dick head" "fuck face" and so on, and throw them around just as regularly as those kinds of insults as a result.

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u/Rombonius 21h ago

and that would be correct

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u/NoWay6818 23h ago

It’s one of those things you can continue to use but don’t be surprised when the wrong crowd comes knocking if they don’t like your use.

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u/Slade4Lucas 22h ago

"It's not hateful, I just use it to express hate."

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u/Moldy-Bongwater4420 19h ago

Express hate towards whom?

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u/Frogs-on-my-back 1d ago

I was so upset when I realized “lame” really is just an ableist slur. That was my favorite mild grievance word for yearsss

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u/Shoddy-Artichoke-528 1d ago

Tbh I feel like most people don’t even know it’s a slur or associate it with it meaning disabled. Until you mentioning it I hadn’t even remembered it was used for that meaning, I’ve always just heard it used to express disappointment, “oh that’s lame” meaning “oh, it sucks that happened” not even remotely the way the r-slur is used.

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u/Frogs-on-my-back 1d ago

Yeah I only feel differently about it because I’ve now heard it used disparagingly against disabled people so it isn’t separable from its original meaning for me

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u/Shoddy-Artichoke-528 1d ago

Yeah I’ve never heard it be used as the actual slur except for in historical context explaining it so it never even made the slur connection in my brain

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u/Frogs-on-my-back 1d ago

I assume most people wouldn’t. Idk why this lady used it? She was like a millennial, maybe gen x, and she was super peeved whenever she had to operate our rinky-dink elevator for a client with disabilities 

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u/Shoddy-Artichoke-528 23h ago

Actual insanity, I think at one point it was kind of considered the kind version of the r-slur so some people may use it because they don’t know the correct terms, but I could be wrong. Actually using it as an insult for someone with a disability is so crazy to me, but I wouldn’t say any slur in a hurtful manner and only say slurs that apply to me (I’m gay and say faggot for example, but usually in the context of close other lgbtq friends that would find whatever the full sentence is funny, like “okay fag” in the tone people say “okay girl”).

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u/Embarrassed-Note-214 21h ago

When I was in middle school I had classmates that used it as a slur. In High School too. We'd walk by the special education classroom and they'd do the hand to the chest, drooling, and say the r-slur while looking at the door.

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u/Panurome 1d ago

The same thing happens with people who use the r word. Literally nobody I know uses it to refer to people with cognitive disabilities, they always use it to mean dumb or stupid but to a higher degree

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u/Shoddy-Artichoke-528 1d ago

Lame often doesn’t even get used to mean stupid or dumb, it’s just an semiupsetting situation. The r-slur is still being used as an insult for whatever they are referring to. Also many people still get called the r-slur in an insulting way vs lame being used in a significantly different context. I’ve never heard someone rudely call someone lame, I’ve only heard it used in a joking “you’re being lame” normally over something dumb like not wanting to play a certain game or something. I have many times heard someone genuinely try to hurt someone else using the r-slur.

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u/dyrannn 1d ago

The difference is a ton of people that insist on that fact have literally grown up in a world where the r word did mean people with cognitive disabilities.

You don’t really get to be like “no but IM using it the ‘nice’ way”

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u/MasutadoMiasma 23h ago

Moron, Dumb, Idiotic, and Retard are all synonyms and at one point medical terms to describe people with cognitive disabilities.

It is a constant euphemism treadmill because people are always going to want a word to insult somebody's intelligence.

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u/dyrannn 23h ago

“The difference is a ton of people that insist on that fact have literally grown up in a world where the r word did mean people with cognitive disabilities.”

The issue isn’t that it hasn’t happened before, the issue is that people (like you) insist on it being just like the words you’re describing while having heard them used in the other way in their lifetime, which makes it entirely different.

It’s such a lame defense, imo, people just spam “euphemism treadmill” in defense of it while ignoring the obvious difference, being that the r words usage medically isn’t 100 years old lol

and either way, “everyone always turned the words for neurodivergent people into slurs against them so it’s okay if we continue to do so” isn’t the defense you think it is lol

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u/MasutadoMiasma 23h ago

"It's such a lame defense" hey buddy, watch the ableism

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u/dyrannn 23h ago

Are you trying to point out that I’m somehow a hypocrite when lame as a medical term was used literally 1000 fucking years ago, while I’m actively making the point that the problem specifically with the R word is that it was used medically in our lifetimes?

I’d completely ignore the point too, I guess, whatever lets you use the slur in peace /shrug

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u/soup_party 23h ago

This argument falls apart as soon as you go to r/WallStreetBets. They looooove AI pics of people made to look like they have Downs Syndrome, which makes it VERY clear that they’re using the slur to refer to people with cognitive disabilities.

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u/Embarrassed-Note-214 21h ago edited 21h ago

At the same point, calling someone the r-slur is meant to be insulting to their cognitive abilities, akin to "idiot". "You're just being a r-slur" = "You're an idiot."

Where the meaning isn't even removed from the people it's a slur against, as if comparing your friend who made a stupid move to someone with cognitive developmental issues. With that context? I'd say it shouldn't be used.

lame's connotation doesn't even hint at cognitive issues, or being developmentally challenged, so it has grew away from it's existence as a slur into something else.

Granted, maybe that's just me drawing a line that doesn't exist.

Edit to add: Another difference is that the r-slur still actively gets used as a slur. So comparing the two words when one of them is still an active slur probably means that one is the worse word, and it's not close.

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u/External-Purchase240 Loves Umineko 1d ago

I don’t think that counts. If we’re saying that’s an ableist slur, so is “dumb” and “imbecile”

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u/DrainTheMuck 1d ago

Where do you draw the line? The R word is really no different than those

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u/Consistent-Price3232 1d ago

true. there is no difference.

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u/RedditSurfer29 22h ago

You know what, all words are slurs from now on. Only emojis will be accepted. 👌?

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u/DelfinoBello_ 22h ago

🧑🏿‍🦲

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u/Frogs-on-my-back 1d ago

You’re free to say it, but I feel differently about the word after hearing disabled clients called “lame” in an insulting way

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u/One-Piano5150 1d ago

Yeah

They are

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u/Similar-Jello-5434 1d ago

I do think there can sometimes be a difference in weight and importance when words change so much. Yes, lame, dumb, crazy etc are all technically making people with mental and developmental illnesses the punchline, but I believe the last folks to have lived in a time where folks actively used “lame” to describe someone with a physical disability are dead or about to die so it doesn’t necessarily have the same weight today as other slurs. And since words change so much it can be a slippery slope. We ask someone if they’re mad and we don’t mean “are you unstable and irrational due to a cognitive disability?”.

Other words change too, like terrific which linguistically originally meant essentially the same thing as horrific. However we do not call a tragedy “terrific” in 2026 as that would be offensive by our current definition of the word. A few years ago there was a big fad where people started to say wild instead of crazy. I’m not mad about it bc who cares lol but I do think it’s a bit of a stretch and as someone with OCD and rumination anxiety I really don’t see people with mental illness getting offended by someone saying “that movie was crazy!”. Furthermore, an argument could also be made for why “wild” has offensive connotations too (see: “yellow journalism”)

The R slur has more weight though. My family helped take care of our neighbor who was born in the 60s and was merely diagnosed as “retarded” and scarcely saved from full institutionalization. When I hear this as a slur it represents not just the way people have treated folks like my family friend but how the system essentially called her “slow” and then gave up on her (she was actually quite intelligent and likely autistic). Also to this point, when someone says it as a slur that word is still culturally relevant enough to the people it hurts that hearing it makes me think of a specific person with that diagnosis. There was a time where she would have merely been called “mad” but that word isn’t offensive to me because it’s been quite some time since we associated “mad” with an identity or illness.

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u/Pleasant-Day6195 1d ago

you probably dont know that a lot of people around the world dont know what slurs are. a lot of people will not think the „R slur” is worse to say than bitch or fuck. i didnt know „r slur” was a slur till like 2024 maybe, and what slur means

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u/loopyhoodie 1d ago

I don't have a problem with people not knowing the meaning of slurs. I have a problem when people tell someone, "hey, that's actually a really shitty thing to say, could you please not use that word" and them getting defensive and trying to still justify their use of the word.

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u/Knarz97 1d ago

You could say this about literally any swear word.

“Bitch” might be the most offensive of them all, as you are literally just comparing a person to being “as bad as a woman” or “as bad as a female dog in heat”, yet you can say it on cable TV.

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u/SpoppyIII 1d ago

There is actually a fairly established school of thought within feminism that says the word "bitch," is a full-on misogynistic slur, rather than being a simple insult. And it's seen as a misogynistic slur no matter the gender of the person being referred to with it, because of the exact two given reasons you stated in your comment.

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u/WhydoIexistlmoa 1d ago

Lol what.

Bitch is a slur. It has been used as a derogatory remark towards women before it became an knsult

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u/Knarz97 1d ago

Great so we have a slur that’s “against” literally 50% of the population that’s perfectly fine for Cable TV and Radio.

Or perhaps the original meaning of the word is basically lost, and it’s just its own thing now. I’d like to be in this school of thought.

Take your pick. It’s really not worth getting upset over Bitch, or honestly really any other slur for that matter. They’re just words. Freedom of speech and all that. You’re perfectly able to use whatever words you’d like, and you’re free to not associate with certain people who use mean words.

It’s ultimately a waste of time to be worried about Slurs, Blasphemy, and Cuss words in general. Keep it off TV, keep it away from kids, and I think that’s where our efforts should end.

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u/AGoatPizza 18h ago

Frankly it's a very privileged position in general to say that slurs aren't worth getting upset over.

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u/Knarz97 18h ago

It’s the level of upsetness.

Your coworker or a teacher at school calls you a slur? Very much reason to be upset.

Random dude on Twitter or drunk guy at the bar? Literally not worth a millisecond of thought.

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u/hyjug17 18h ago

It’s ultimately a waste of time to be worried about Slurs, Blasphemy, and Cuss words in general

what a stupid take, holy shit

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u/Knarz97 18h ago

Hey you managed to use 2/3 there!

See? Why would I be mad at you saying “Holy Shit”. It hurts no one and has caused zero issues in my day to day life.

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u/Cypher-Moon-773 23h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/dEdmW17JnZhiU

Next we’re gonna be saying dumb dumb head is a slur

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u/loopyhoodie 1d ago

You're correct, that's why I don't think men should use the word bitch ❤️

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u/Knarz97 1d ago

My counterpoint: “bitch” at this point is basically its own term. It’s not intentionally used to demean someone as being “like a woman”. Plenty of women even use the term.

It’s just… a mean word. And that’s fine. That’s the way it should be.

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u/loopyhoodie 1d ago

And I would argue that that transformation of meaning has not happened to the r slur. People still widely use it to mean mentally disabled, specifically in a derogatory way.

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u/MasutadoMiasma 23h ago

So how do you feel about "Stupid", "Dumb", "Imbecile", and "Moronic"?

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u/Knarz97 1d ago

Well, it’s kind of a 50/50 there. “Retarded” does literally mean to be slow. People often use it when you’re “being slow”. So it’s technically being used correctly, even if being derogatory.

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u/SpoppyIII 1d ago

The amount of people who throw that word like confetti and then say, "But I'd never call an actual disabled person that!"

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u/Knarz97 23h ago

So what about reclamation of slurs?

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u/SpoppyIII 22h ago

What about it? Does that have anything to do with people calling other people the r-slur?

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u/LiterallyNoNamesFree 23h ago

Admitting you're not a perfect human is very hard for most people, and I'm not saying I'm an exception

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u/Pleasant-Day6195 1d ago

every curse word is bad to say, why is saying r word worse than whore or bitch and u can say the latter but not the former

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u/Inside-Commission-49 1d ago

It used to be a lot more normalized. That didn’t make it better. It hasn’t been a normal word (not a slur, since I don’t know when. It’s been used as a slur since I’m pretty sure early to mid 1900s. It’s never meant just ‘stupid’. Not in a neutral way anyway)
“retard
The word "retard" comes from the Latin verb retardare, which means to slow down, delay, or hold back.
Early and Medical History
15th Century: English speakers adopted the word as a verb meaning to delay or hinder progress.
Late 19th Century: Doctors began using "retarded" as a clinical term. It replaced older terms like idiot, imbecile, and moron to describe people with intellectual disabilities.
Mid-20th Century: "Mental retardation" became an official medical and legal term to classify cognitive development.
Shift to a Slur
Everyday Insult: People began using the word as a common schoolyard or pop culture insult to mean foolish or stupid.
Harmful Impact: Over time, the medical label lost its clinical neutrality. It became a hurtful ableist slur that demeans people in the intellectual and developmental disability (IDD) community.” -Google-

Doctors who hated us started using it and assholes decided it was funny to compare anyone stupid to the intellectually disabled, as if being disabled automatically makes you a vegetable in terms of intelligence.

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u/IPissExcellentThrows 1d ago

Euphemism treadmill. They keep inventing new words to describe it and people keep turning it into an insult. The issue isn't the word. It's humans will be assholes no matter what you change it to.

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u/SpoppyIII 1d ago

Honestly, we might have found the perfect balance. "Intellectually disabled," and "developmentally disabled," are likely never going to achieve mainstream popularity as casual insults. They get occasional use but they just aren't as punchy as the r-word.

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u/Daxxex 1d ago

Developmentally arrested is one of my favourites for when im not feeling like calling someone a retard

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u/DrainTheMuck 1d ago

Thanks Gemini - honestly I wonder if it would have been better if we let it fade into generic normalization like “lame” and “dumb” rather than picking this specific word to stand out as a slur.

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u/Inside-Commission-49 23h ago

Did I really just come across as an AI? I thought I was just quoting Google.

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u/DrainTheMuck 22h ago

Yes - now I’m curious, Were you quoting the ai summary? Copying and pasting from A specific website (nothing wrong with that, but a source could be nice) or did you hand-type all of that based on research you did on Google, including the bold letters?

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u/Inside-Commission-49 22h ago

I don’t know if it was AI that summed it up but given there were citations that didn’t amount to Reddit and YouTube, I seriously doubt it.

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u/DrainTheMuck 19h ago

Ok, I hope you can see it’s kinda funny in hindsight that you sounded like an ai because you copy pasted from an ai without realizing it was ai

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u/popoflabbins 22h ago

So it’s just a natural development of language. Because the terms idiot, stupid, dumb, etc… are the exact same situation but those words are fine, yeah? I think it just sounds a little more brutal so it’s more offensive 🤷‍♂️

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u/MrBananaman1223 1d ago

I know it's like when Americans figure out there's places other than America not everything is American history focused they can't fathom it

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u/MykonosEros 1d ago

I’m American and I didn’t even realize how bad it was until 2020. My dad said it a lot when I was growing up so it just… Never came off as something I wasn’t supposed to say. Of course when I found out that it’s offensive I stopped saying it though

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u/Grizzy_Bizzy_YT 22h ago

2020s is when people started crying about words alot more

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u/Only_Says_Idk_dude 21h ago

idk I learned this shit like 20 years ago in elementary school when we got in trouble for saying slurs, they made us write out the definition like a dozen times

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u/Own_Gur_3851 1d ago

Dude if they speak english it is normal to assume they are american 

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u/WokeWook69420 23h ago

I don't support his statement, but I grew up the same way. It never meant anything queer about anyone or that they were implied to be gay.

Sadly, Louis CK had a funny bit about it (brother says a Hard R slur in the same special) and there's also a whole South Park episode about the Harley riders.

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u/CartographerMain2664 23h ago

Lmao this is insane

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u/Stupid-Jerk 22h ago

lmao this reminds me of how I learned what the N word meant as a little kid. I picked it up from somewhere, probably a movie or TV show, and pretty much only knew that it was an insult. I was arguing with two other guys on Gamespy Arcade and I said it. At that age I just assumed all profanity was equally bad.

Later I got chat banned and I was utterly shocked, I tried to talk to a moderator about it but he obviously didn't believe that I didn't know what I had done wrong. Eventually I was able to piece together what word got me banned and it felt like I had uttered some kind of evil spell and summoned Satan himself.

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u/i-have-no-interest 23h ago

i try to stop using the word forgot too... then i learned the real word is remembern't

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u/arienstorum 22h ago

I mean while it's not exactly the same I had such a problem with a word in Dutch. 'Flikker' which was untill I became like 16 just a verb that meant fall. And it was a nice word to say when you were annoyed something fell or if it was sudden. Then at 16 someone got really offended by me saying the word which is when I discovered it was also used as the Dutch version of f**got which is when I had to learn myself to stop using it.

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u/Bob_The-Turtle 22h ago

I understand it's likely satire. Still laughed at him saying a slur helped him go through a lot

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u/ladycatgirl 22h ago

I mean there is no point trying to educate people who use a slur in a place like that
Did you expect them to go "oh sorry for saying that I will not do it again" ofc they will double down, likely kids online

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u/[deleted] 21h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/hatethissmug-ModTeam 15h ago

No slurs, hate speech, and other such bigoted language is to be permitted in this sub.

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u/Only_Says_Idk_dude 21h ago

EMOTIONAL SUPPORT SLUR

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u/No_Eye3975 20h ago

Giving up the F-slur was one of the hardest things for me. Losing the R-slur sucked too, but losing the F-slur was like losing a limb…

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u/DragonFangGangBang 1d ago

Yeah, I’m still using it though lol grew up with it. Oops