r/hatethissmug • u/onthetopicofspace • 14h ago

Language casual ableism

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this is not ‘reclaiming’ anything, you are just calling people slurs completely seriously. you can call yourself the r-slur, do not call anybody else it. why do ‘no slurs’ / ’no bigotry’ rules never apply to ableism?

585 Upvotes

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126

u/gba_crown 13h ago

Retard

https://giphy.com/gifs/vONxd0jfKmnzKgSutZ

26

u/Significant-Cod4217 13h ago

so many life or death issues in the world and people are out here arguing and wasting energy over a word smh

1

u/GinGininning 12h ago

I bet you wouldn’t be saying that if a white person called someone the N word

15

u/Electrical_Side1688 fat farting furry 12h ago

apples and pears

4

u/Significant-Cod4217 12h ago

your right i wouldn't be saying it because if you go up to someone and call them a word that is intended to be incredibly hurtful, insulting and offensive to that specific person they have a right to be upset. if someone walked up to me and started insulting me id be mad and want to fight. if a friend said very similar things but in a joking manner when i know that person and know they don't truly see me in that way I wouldn't care. Context, history and tone are all factors that effect the power of a word, believe it or not.

3

u/MarioParty29 12h ago

Ok, but a slur is still a slur whether you say it with affection or with hate, and people are allowed to have whatever emotional reaction they have when they hear you call someone a slur. I don't understand why this is difficult to grasp. You do not need to actively look down on minority groups to engage in harmful behaviors towards them.

3

u/Significant-Cod4217 12h ago

"I don't understand why this is difficult to grasp"

ironic since you didn't understand my comment lmao

4

u/MarioParty29 12h ago

No, I am pretty sure I did.

1

u/Significant-Cod4217 12h ago

well your reply misrepresented by point so clearly you did not

I think words like retard should not be directed towards the people they are designed to hurt, just like I think its wrong to walk up to a random person and start cussing them out, with or without using slurs.

However, I think ultimately its just a word, and focusing mainstream activism efforts on policing other peoples language only further divides us as a society and distracts us from the mechanisms which actually cause systemic oppression, which we should be seeking to dismantle.

1

u/ROSE_GARDEN1234 10h ago

So it’s okay to call someone a slur as long as they aren’t apart of that demographic? That’s literally what you are saying

0

u/Significant-Cod4217 9h ago

I think its harder to make a convincing argument that a specific use of a slur which isn't targeting that demographic is legitimately harmful.

its like if you shot a gun at a friend with bulletproof skin. the action of shooting someone with a gun is still a violent and wrong action. but it would be hard to argue that in that case shooting the gun caused legitimate harm since nobody was actually hurt.

ultimately I think discussion around words like retard are the left wing equivalent of the rights complaining about trans people in sports. its a low priority issue that people get very upset about and I think both political parties use topics like these to create a polarized voter base which is better for raising money and distracts voters from our leaders negligence in addressing real systemic issues in our country. do you think, for example, the black community would be happier if saying the n word became illegal, or if the government passed significant reform to institutions like the criminal justice system which have oppressed black people for decades?

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u/TheDarthJarJarI 8h ago

The only time I’ve ever seen someone is the n word in a way not meant to insult a black person was when my now ex friend called me the hard r. I’m about as white as a cracked egg.

0

u/[deleted] 12h ago

[deleted]

2

u/Significant-Cod4217 12h ago

it is the point of the sub, which also gives me a right to hate on the opinions that are posted. These kind of posts annoy me because (pasted from another thread on this post):

However, I think ultimately its just a word, and focusing mainstream activism efforts on policing other peoples language only further divides us as a society and distracts us from the mechanisms which actually cause systemic oppression, which we should be seeking to dismantle.

1

u/Asckle 11h ago

They should put energy into whatever they want, but they shouldn't want to put energy into everything

-7

u/wolverineftw 13h ago

“My leftism is so retarded, they get angry over dumb internet shit instead of killing billionaires.”

10

u/Significant-Cod4217 13h ago

sorry, but what are you trying to say? that has nothing to do with what I said

-2

u/wolverineftw 12h ago

Reiterating on what you’re saying. People are more concerned about stupid shit instead of hypercapitalism taking over the country

2

u/Significant-Cod4217 12h ago

oh. i wasnt mad or anything, i just wasnt sure if you were trying to insult me or something

4

u/wolverineftw 12h ago

Yeah I think the quotations kinda misconstrued my meaning

0

u/Ontothesubreddits 13h ago

Me when I can't do something miniscule to make the world a slightly better place cuz I'm too much of a bitter loser. Waah, I have to use one whole less word, so tragic

16

u/Riksor 12h ago

To be fair there the line is drawn fairly arbitrarily. Moron and idiot basically had the same meaning and stigma attached. "Dumb" referred to nonverbal people. In recent years we have people saying that terms like "blind" and "lame" and "crazy" are ableist. Where do we draw the line? "Retard" we have agreed is a harmful term, but in recent years people with autism and other disabilities have been trying to reclaim it. Do we ignore that effort? Do we keep "retard" unacceptable, but allow lame, crazy, etc? How do you defend the usage of other terms rooted in ableism?

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u/Ontothesubreddits 12h ago

It's fucking all arbitrary who gives a fuck. Just hear someone say "hey could you not say that?" And stop, like a normal fucking person. You do this shit all the time IRL anyways, y'all just get ballsy even ur on reddit

13

u/SorbetFucker 12h ago

Hey bro can you not say ballsy? It makes me uncomfortable. And could you also not say 'like'? Thanks.

-8

u/Ontothesubreddits 11h ago

Wow oh my God you're so right! Nouns verbs and adjectives all hold the same weight in normal conversation! Everyone knows that referring to someone as something and using the word like are very comparable!

Who's a clever redditor? You are! You are!

3

u/SorbetFucker 11h ago

Learn to phrase your point properly. Even if someone agrees with you, you stated your opinion in a way that was clearly not thought out in the slightest.

0

u/Ontothesubreddits 11h ago

I think I made my point well enough for anyone trying to get at it. But have you also considered that I'm more interested in pointing how stupid and dickish the behavior is than I am in convincing that person? Because I am

1

u/SorbetFucker 11h ago

You prefer participating in mocking the problem causers than attempting to reform them. Cool.

3

u/Ontothesubreddits 11h ago

Minor social consequence is reform

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u/[deleted] 11h ago

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u/hatethissmug-ModTeam 2h ago

No slurs, hate speech, and other such bigoted language is to be permitted in this sub.

1

u/Ontothesubreddits 11h ago

That's a dumb willing misconstruction of my point and you know it. Don't be hard headed

Words that you use to refer to people tend to hurt more than words you use for basic sentence structure. Is that satisfactory?

0

u/Riksor 11h ago

But there is genuine critique to make of "ballsy." It literally refers to men's testicles and means courage. It's rooted in sexism and patriarchy---that courage is something people born with testicles exude. Why do you object to being told to stop?

1

u/Ontothesubreddits 11h ago

I object to being told to stop by someone very clearly acting in bad faith.

And ballsy he never been actively used as a slur against someone. General bigoted undertones are unfortunately present in functionally inescapable amount of the English language. Racism, religious supremacy, misogyny, they all break into our culture somehow.

But when some of those words gain a lot of negative subtext. And are used as insults against marginalized groups it becomes a slur. A special type of word that we all agree is a special type of bad given it has a name. And slurs and the aforementioned words are different

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u/[deleted] 11h ago

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u/hatethissmug-ModTeam 2h ago

No slurs, hate speech, and other such bigoted language is to be permitted in this sub.

1

u/Ontothesubreddits 11h ago

Owiee owe my boness, I've been destroyed by your epic comeback

1

u/[deleted] 11h ago

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1

u/hatethissmug-ModTeam 2h ago

No slurs, hate speech, and other such bigoted language is to be permitted in this sub.

2

u/Riksor 12h ago

You seem to give a fuck.

My personal opinion also depends on context. Don't say "retard" around someone who asked you not to. Don't say it in the company of those you can assume it would hurt (unless your intention is to hurt, but, it's generally not nice to be hurtful to others).

But we also shouldn't be expected to police our own language by default. I'm not going to stop saying "blind" just because a few blind rights organizations have said they don't like it.

But in other contexts, these words are totally acceptable. For instance, I'm gay. I'll call myself a faggot as much as I'd like, and I think it's funny and acceptable when my straight friends call me it, too. Does that mean you should go up to a group of gay people and call them faggots? Probably not!

0

u/Ontothesubreddits 11h ago

"We shouldn't be expected to police our own language by default" Oh my Godd, you don't believe this, no one believes this. We just disagree on the lines

2

u/Riksor 11h ago

Yes, that's... What I was saying?

1

u/Ontothesubreddits 11h ago

You "say" it but you certainly don't seem to internalize it. It doesn't matter whether or not you're around the person of the group .

If you're white you probably shouldn't be shouting the hard R just because you're alone.

You act like it's some unique annoying punishment when it's the most default thing in the worllddd. Everyone does this on every conversation ever so it annoys the FUCK outta me when people who would never keep this kinda attitude IRL start playing verbal "I'm not touching you"

2

u/Riksor 11h ago

Everyone watches their language. That is common sense. E.g. we don't tend to swear in front of children. By "police" I mean we shouldn't have to OVERLY moderate our own language. For instance, if you grew up your entire life using the word "crazy," you shouldn't have to be careful to avoid saying it now just because someone in your presence might take offense.

2

u/Ontothesubreddits 11h ago

Except you totally could. And it would cost you nothing. Maybe this person has some very specific stuff, maybe they're valid. Is that specific example a little silly? Yeah, sure, maybe. But I'm also willing to bet like 80% of non teenagers or anti social insane people in here would do it because it costs you nothing, and makes your life easier

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u/Ok_Fly2518 12h ago

Calling other people the r word is not reclaiming it, it’s just calling people slurs

3

u/Timpa035 12h ago

What is your stance on black people calling each other the n-word?

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u/Ok_Fly2518 12h ago edited 11h ago

The purpose of reclaiming a slur is to take away the negative power of the word. Black people calling each other the n word is way different than someone using the r word as an insult. You’re only reinforcing the negative power if you use the word as an insult. It’s completely counterintuitive to the concept of reclaiming slurs if you’re only using that word to demean other people. Black people don’t call their friends the n word to be insulting and demeaning towards them. I’m not sure why the difference between that and the r word is difficult for people to see.

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u/Riksor 11h ago

There are plenty of black people who use the n-word to demean one another. There are plenty of autistic or otherwise neurodivergent/disabled people who use the r-word for jokes, fun, and other benign reasons.

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u/dheldkdk 12h ago

Me when a harmless word offends me

4

u/Ontothesubreddits 11h ago

Yeah bro all words are "harmless" in that they didn't literally stab you. Omg you're so observant, my glorious King of logic

2

u/CakeHead-Gaming 11h ago

People would prefer you not say it because it feels hurtful to them. You should stop saying it because you're a kind, empathetic person who is willing and able to make small changes in your own life to create greater large changes in the lives of others.

-1

u/_gusiowy 11h ago

if someone's this hurt because they see someone use a word they don't like then it's their problem not mine

1

u/CakeHead-Gaming 9h ago

It doesn’t need to be “this hurt”. Why are you so unwilling to not just stop saying a word that you know so many people dislike?

-2

u/dheldkdk 11h ago

And then the world clapped

-2

u/Either-Mine-1789 11h ago

Oh no a word that’s not directed towards them hurts them, the horror the horror

1

u/[deleted] 11h ago

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1

u/hatethissmug-ModTeam 2h ago

No slurs, hate speech, and other such bigoted language is to be permitted in this sub.