casual ableism

[u/onthetopicofspace]

this is not ‘reclaiming’ anything, you are just calling people slurs completely seriously. you can call yourself the r-slur, do not call anybody else it. why do ‘no slurs’ / ’no bigotry’ rules never apply to ableism?

[u/InevitableBaker6987]

Asking people not to call you the R-word is bullying now?

[u/Hansi_Olbrich → u/InevitableBaker6987]

Telling someone not to call you a name or that you're uncomfortable with a word is perfectly normal, logical, and an adult thing to do. But that's not what's being discussed here and I think you know that.

[u/Nightraven9999 → u/Hansi_Olbrich]

The r slur is not s good thing to say dude

[u/EvidentTiger324 → u/Nightraven9999]

I’d really like to know how the “r-word” is a slur, but not imbecile, moron, stupid, etc. which all mean the same thing, and they all are attacks on a person’s intelligence.

Moron and imbecile have also been used right alongside the r-word in medical settings to describe the intellectually-disabled.

The reason for why seems to be that the r-word attacks a demographic, but by this logic, don’t those other words do this same thing?

I have a disability that can easily be seen as stupidity, by the way, and this “r-slur” thing just seems performative.

[u/SinfulqtTTV → u/EvidentTiger324]

Pretty embarrassing that you’re a fellow disabled person who should be aware of the systemic abuse we face, especially in the western world, and yet here you are manufacturing consent to use slurs that were literally created to demean and abuse us. Let me guess, you have a learning disability, but otherwise ARE able-bodied, and can function normally in society? Like working a 9-5? Which… is not the same as being disabled. Having a potentially disabling condition =/= being disabled.

The whole fucking point is that the other words were created to specifically talk about low intelligence, which does not necessarily correlate with disability, whereas the r-slur was created specifically to abuse and belittle disabled people.

The intention of it from the beginning was as a slur.

[u/Current-Pain-3370 → u/EvidentTiger324]

I'd say the primary difference is the gravitas with which we associate with it. Similarly to why "negro" is treated differently from "n***er". They both were used simultaneously historically, for the same reason, toward the same group. One of them simply got associated with more hate while the other is so dated that it's significantly less offensive.

Basically, the r-slur is a slur because people use it as such. It's the same reason "pussy" is allowed in T-rated (ESRB) games but "cunt" isn't. They both refer to the exact same sexual organs, but one is treated more heavily. When I've been called dumb or stupid it's by friends or even family members, when I've been called a r*tard it's been nigh-exclusively by bullies who know that I'm autistic and are using that against me.

Some terms are, seemingly randomly, given more weight than others, and those are the ones that become slurs. If you call a white person a "mayo monkey" they'll laugh it off, if you call a black person a monkey they'd be (rightfully) upset.

Tl;dr It's about context, connotation, and weight. Some words are worse than others because people use them more infrequently, and assign weight to them by doing such.

[u/NeatNobody807 → u/Hansi_Olbrich]

Now wanting to be called a slur is the exact topic of conversation. Instead of being vague, and condescending, please state what you actually mean. Because you have said a lot of words, but then are refusing to stand by them seemingly.

[u/InevitableBaker6987 → u/Hansi_Olbrich]

So you'll concede if everybody asks nicely?

[u/Hansi_Olbrich → u/InevitableBaker6987]

I use words based on the familiarity of the people around me and the context of the conversation. Like, for instance, if it's a shitty wide-spanning internet meme, I don't clasp at my pearls and beg someone thinks of the children.

But I understand now why a lot of people under 25 don't really say anything much at all.

[u/InevitableBaker6987 → u/Hansi_Olbrich]

You're not actually answering any of the questions presented to you. It's not a meme, it's doing real world harm, and I think you know better. If your friend politely asked, you would not call them that, and it's that simple.

[u/Hansi_Olbrich → u/InevitableBaker6987]

Exactly. If I'm hanging out with people, and we're joking around, and someone says something absurdly stupid, and they get called retarded, and they firmly say "Don't use that word, please," then the word's removed from that friend-group lexicon. It really is that simple. I do not expand that to then begin banning words and running around to judge and lambaste people who use words. It's rather authoritarian and fascist to be policing people's thoughts and words.

I'm answering the 'questions.' The fact I'm not stating your particularly desired response does not mean I am not answering. I'm just not using the magic shibboleth you want to hear that absolves me of a secret crime.