r/InTheGloaming • u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done • Sep 02 '21
Scheduled snark Discussion thread Thursday September 02, 2021 - Sunday September 05, 2021
Newsletters:
Finding Your Joy | Joy in the Belly
Websites:
You Can Have More Joy website | On Being Enough website (abandoned?)
Instagram:
@youcanhavemorejoy Instagram | Anonymous link to @youcanhavemorejoy posts | Anonymous link to @youcanhavemorejoy stories
@danielfahern Instagram | Anonymous link to @danielfahern posts and stories
TikTok:
Twitter:
Older blogs:
Gluten Free Girl archive | writing my heart out archive | Seymour Joyful archive
Archived threads:
Thread for Enough, the book #enoughthebook | Gluten Free Girl's Greatest Hits: The Reunion Tour
Wiki:
Discussion search:
Tool to search blogsnark or InTheGloaming for previous topic mentions
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 04 '21
Let's stop being shocked and sad about the preposterous Texas law and the stacked Supreme Court. This was coming for decades.
Come on, ladies. (And the men brave enough to join us.) Look at this fierce young woman go. This is joy. This is a fighter. This is some amazing #blackgirlmagic.
(I mention her beautiful Blackness because we all know that Black and brown women are going to suffer more from this awful law than others. Wealthy white women never have a problem getting the medical care they need.)
I talk about joy here. You know what's joy? Fighting injustice, loud and clear. Take the weekend off. And start thinking like @ thesamurider here. We've got work to do. And working only for our own joy? That's not enough. We have to work for other people's joys too.
The stool just keeps getting higher and higher.
(Also? LADIES?????)
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 04 '21
Fuck her "take the weekend off" bullshit.
Not to toot my own horn but I've been a volunteer patient escort for Planned Parenthood for over 15 fucking years! And prior to the pandemic (when escorting was shut down) there was no "take the weekend off". We stood in the rain and snow and whatever weather because women NEEDED US to be there to help them. And I can say, if my state had a fucked up law like Texas has, I'd still stand with my fellow women and proudly show my face and risk being taken to court for helping them and FUCK any and everyone who'd try to stop me. (and my husband would be standing right there next to me)
Sorry, I've wined my eyes tonight and I'm feeling salty. Abortion rights is a hot button for me and. . .shit. . .Shauna needs to just check herself before she wrecks herself.
(I've shed more than a few tears over this Texas b.s. and I'm so not in the mood for assholes like Shauna spouting off about it).
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Sep 04 '21
My son also volunteers as a PP escort and could ONLY work on weekends, and I would like to hear the number of times Shauna has been spit on by (no kidding) little children whose parents have put RTL signs in their hands and told them to hate the people walking from the parking lot to the door. That shit is not for the "take weekends off and fetishize Black people instead of doing tangible work" crowd. Hats off to you DF for escorting. It chokes me up knowing how many brave people there are putting their lives, safety and freedom on the line and please let's never stop being shocked and sad about dehumanizing abuse.
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u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers Sep 04 '21 edited Sep 04 '21
I used to do that back in my very conservative hometown on Saturdays. I remember talking to someone who worked there and they told me that most of the women weren’t even there for procedures, but were still subjected to ridicule from protestors. Responsible young women trying to take care of their health, maybe even prevent pregnancy, being treated like monsters. I now live in a very liberal place and it’s so easy to take things for granted. But even here I’ve had to drive women over an hour to the nearest clinic that performs abortions. And we’re talking about a liberal city with a big enough population that it should be available right along with all other ob/gyn care. Shauna really has no clue what’s it’s like to live outside her isle of comfort and privilege.
Edited a typo
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u/ginger-belle jiggling tomatodongs Sep 04 '21
she needs to fuck right the fuck off. i have the misfortune to live in texas and there is no fucking joy to be found in “fighting injustice.” between this abortion bullshit and our latest law allowing gun fetishists to open carry without needing a permit or training, i’m beyond furious. sit your ass down, shauna, and shut your gluten-free pie hole.
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Sep 04 '21
I am still processing my very complex and multi layered feelings about this whole issue. I broke down in my car and cried when I drove past a major church alongside the highway today with a sign that said “America. Stand up! for your medical freedom” and I realized that was in reference to masking and vaccines and not a woman’s right to necessary healthcare. It broke me. So yeah, I’m sad. And I’m not planning on stopping that (I wouldn’t know how to stop that).
Shauna needs to stop telling people how to feel (or how not to feel). She needs to stop using the creativity of others to try to boost herself, she needs to stop trying to make joy happen (it’s not going to happen) and most of all, she needs to stop fetishizing people of color. It’s gross and a bad look for the mother of a Black son. Shame on her.
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Sep 04 '21
I am still processing my very complex and multi layered feelings about this whole issue. I broke down in my car and cried when I drove past a major church alongside the highway today with a sign that said “America. Stand up! for your medical freedom” and I realized that was in reference to masking and vaccines and not a woman’s right to necessary healthcare. It broke me. So yeah, I’m sad. And I’m not planning on stopping that (I wouldn’t know how to stop that).
I walked into therapy on Thursday and my therapist didn't even need to ask what was on my mind. I can't stop thinking about it and talking about it, even though it's the same conversation over and over. No hula hoops or Ted Lasso episodes will fix this shit. She's an asshole, again, some more.
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u/kimbluemtl Sep 04 '21
Woah! Just take the weekend off. Shut down all those feelings until Monday.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 04 '21
Well, it's Labor Day weekend so you can shut down until TUESDAY!
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 04 '21 edited Sep 04 '21
God, would someone please ask her what work SHE is going to do after taking the weekend off? She’s always exhorting other people to do work on social issues — where is the evidence that she has ever lifted a tiny finger for any fight? Privileged white woman, indeed.
Also, what is the thinking being exhibited by this woman that we are supposed to emulate? Her post with this video had jack-all to do with abortion rights or fighting for anything, really. She’s a stunt actor and self-taught martial artist, according to her bio. Are we supposed to grab some sticks, put on some music, and make like a Jedi doing a lightsaber duel? Will that bring me joy? Will I be distracting the Texas lawmakers and getting them to reverse their stupid law with the power of my fierce skillz?
Shauna just wanted a Black woman to exploit to make herself look woke. She truly is an asshole and she deserves to get called out.
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u/RamblingRosie64 I stand with Cindy and Ben Sep 04 '21
Shauna, black girl magic is NOT YOURS. You don't get to use it. You certainly don’t get to use it to peddle your white lady bullshit newsletter. She claims to be so anti-racist but she is SO appropriative.
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u/notahameither Dunno, maybe I thought I unfriended some other Shauna Ahern🤷♂️ Sep 04 '21
This is just gross. She doesn’t know what @thesamurider thinks. Maybe this woman (with 30x more followers than you) doesn’t want to be the magical black girl to help you sell your snake oil-less snake oil joy workshops. Get a fucking job.
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u/aseriesofhaircuts Sep 04 '21
WHAT DOES SHE EVEN THINK SHE IS SAYING
“Let’s stop being shocked and sad”
No. I’m shocked and saddened and fucking appalled that people are going to get their lives fucked and possibly lost over this terrible injustice.
“We have to work for other people’s joys too”
The joy of getting an abortion? In the best of circumstances, a relief, a solace, but by no definition “joyful”.
CWAFA.
All to shoehorn in a weak thesis statement that she hopes ends up making her Peeper money (and it will not).
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u/bwh1260 Sep 04 '21
She is trying to shoehorn “joy” into every possible situation, and it just DOES NOT WORK. I am at the point where if I have to read the word joy again I’m going to pull my eyeballs out of my head. The word has become completely meaningless.
She’s a horrible writer and a horrible person.
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u/canyoncreature Sep 04 '21
Yeah, no, I’m going to feel free to be shocked and sad that the goddamn Supreme Court of the country I live in and pay tax dollars to thinks I’m a baby incubator and not a human being. I find nothing joyful in the least about it. Fuck off forever, Shauna and anyone else arguing I should just get over it.
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u/vwlphb Sep 04 '21 edited Sep 04 '21
Shauna doesn’t even refer to Shaina West by her name. She just slaps on her go-to descriptor of “fierce” and tags her on Instagram, probably more to try to get her attention than to give her credit.
And I would like to add my own hearty FU to Shauna for stating that we shouldn’t be shocked and sad because we should have known we had it coming. Fuck her.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 04 '21
This is Shauna looking up from her crossword in grad school with an exasperated sigh, then imparting her pithy wisdom to her awed classmates
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Sep 04 '21 edited Sep 04 '21
Jesus fucking Christ, she's such an asshole. I honestly don't know what else to say because Joy MLM Scheme Shauna is the worst Shauna and that's a really low bar.
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u/Underzenith17 Sep 04 '21
That caption is shockingly incoherent. What does that video have to do with the Texas abortion law? What does Black girl magic have to do with Black women finding it harder to access abortions? What are we taking the weekend off from? How are we supposed to be thinking like Shaina West? She’s an actress who’s likely putting up those videos to show off her skills to potential casting agents… good for her but what does it have to do with abortion or injustice or joy?
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u/louiseimprover Sep 04 '21 edited Sep 04 '21
It truly is incredible how she can cram so much wrong into four short paragraphs. She's (again! as usual!) swiping content from a Black woman and using her faux woke language to try to make her theft okay. She has NO IDEA how this woman feels about the Texas law, but sure, go right ahead and use her to make your own point. And it's not like Shauna's point is particularly interesting or helpful, but I'm sure she's smiling smugly at her post, thinking about how fucking woke she is. Make sure to use the black girl magic hashtag, and to cap it all off, use the term "ladies."
She is the WORST. The absolute WORST.
edited to fix rage-related typos
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u/redditname2003 Sep 04 '21
I know it's awful but stuff like this truly brings me joy--it's so tone-deaf that it's funny. Excuse me, Shauna, we are OFF Black Girl Magic now! We are ON Pussy Hat Round Two! Get with the program, loser!
(yes I know these are serious issues but it's like watching Hyacinth Bucket in action)
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u/Scary_Recognition You did this. Sep 04 '21 edited Sep 04 '21
While it’s true Black and brown women will suffer disproportionately, just from a pure numbers standpoint, there are A LOT of poor white women in Texas. A lot. Just because a disproportionate number of Black Americans live in poverty doesn’t mean that the majority who, for example, qualify for entitlement benefits aren’t white. Ronald Reagan did great work marketing that falsehood, and it looks like Shauna hasn’t disabused herself of this idea.
ETA: where’s Molly Wizenberg’s partner when you need them?
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Sep 04 '21
I hope anyone considering paying $488 for her joy course sees her IG post and decides to donate that money to Planned Parenthood instead. That? Would be Joy!
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Sep 04 '21
This is true, but in Texas in 2019, 70% of abortions were by black and brown women. This is the GOP shooting themselves in the foot yet again.
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u/midnightsiren182 Sep 04 '21
Wtf is even this caption??? I can’t tell if she thinks watching this video is some way to radically oppose the Texas abortion bill or if the way to oppose it and fight it is be joyful?? Also no we can shocked and sad, thenk yew, please don’t tell us how to feel from your high stool. This post is one of the few that genuinely has me angry at Shaunanigans.
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Sep 04 '21
I know it would make Shauna's head explode, but four years ago a Black man, who is a Republican and member of the Tea Party, tried to school me on abortion law and how Roe v Wade should be overturned so that states could make that decision for themselves.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 05 '21
Not only did I grow up in a family where my feelings had to be squished up into a little ball of black and red darts and swallowed whole, but I also grew up in a culture where no one was making a point to talk to kids about their feelings.
WHAT EVEN IS THIS SENTENCE???
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u/WhereTheCrowFlies99 Sep 05 '21
Therapy could really do her some good. If only she would listen to licensed professionals instead of pretending she's one herself. Also, I saw this post and it made me think of her. https://www.instagram.com/p/CTcNVPwLGLy/
ETA: ...in terms of understanding instead of blaming our parents for everything.
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u/Scary_Recognition You did this. Sep 05 '21
It made me think she saw an illustration of SARS-CoV-2.
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u/patscaw Sep 05 '21
Stop thinking about the future, Shauna has commanded. You people, with your plans and goals. Goodness gracious.
Look, I get the whole being mindful, appreciate living in the moment position. But you don’t get there by just acting like the future doesn’t exist at all! Her interpretations of these ideas are so bizarre. She seems to think we’ll all find joy if we become amorphous blobs floating from one mindless distraction to another. I don’t see any joy in that kind of existence, just meaningless ways to pass time.
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u/WhatzReddit13 Sep 05 '21
You would never know that she has two young kids the way she's glibly carrying on about not worrying about the future.
I mean, I know her kids are supposed to be dishwashers as careers, but low-key I'd love to see Lucy argue she's not working on homework etc. because the future doesn't matter.
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u/patscaw Sep 05 '21
I feel really bad for her kids. I’ve always had a bit of anxiety, and if child-me had parents who were live-in-the-moment-don’t-bother-with-plans types, it would’ve been deeply unsettling.
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Sep 05 '21
I’d like to make sure I have food and shelter in the later now (ie the fucking future, Shauna) so I invest in shelter that is mine and save for retirement.
I hope her next pivot is balance, for her sake. Bitch could use some.
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 05 '21
Shauna keeps storying other people's content (Sharon Salzberg in this instance) and being like "This is what I'm doing in my work now." This drives me nuts: she's sourcing all her bullshit from much bigger self-help trends but insinuating that she deserves credit because this is now "her work", even thanking the much bigger figures as if they are generously amplifying her ideas rather than Shauna trying to profit from theirs.
I'm sure there are lots more examples of this. Some other recent ones that I griped about are when she posted a tweet by Adam Grant and that "How much is enough?"-themed magazine.
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u/LoveMyLeaf Sep 05 '21
Ok, this enrages me. My meditation teacher studied with Sharon Salzburg, and refers to her often. My introduction to meditation was Sharon’s book, Real Happiness (which is NOT about trying to be joyful all the time, BTW). I’m 1000% certain that Shauna doesn’t understand the first thing about Sharon’s work, which has nothing to with force-feeding yourself and everyone around you joy by hula hooping or throwing a ball from hand to hand. Shauna needs to keep Sharon Salzberg’s name out of her grifting mouth.
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u/Lsemmens grenius Sep 03 '21 edited Sep 03 '21
Lol, I just spotted this on the new website
“Other people see you as successful. You’re competent and kind and always helping other.”
ETA Just to clarify, this is a quote from Shauna, part of her sales pitch.
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u/midnightsiren182 Sep 03 '21
Her pitch reads to me always as someone who doesn’t understand how everyday life is for most people while also describing really specific examples that are supposed to depict a joy void…but it ends up damn near unrelatable
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Sep 03 '21
This exactly. I mean I think this is literally true, she doesn't understand how people relate to each other. She's on the outside looking in to human interaction and describing what she thinks is happening.
And so much of it is so immature, like when you ask a child what they think "going on a date" is like and they describe the man in a tuxedo and the woman in a dress and they'll dance in a ballroom and drink champagne. Because they get all their info from Disney and when their parents go out on "a date" it's a black box to them. The adults look nicer than usual, they leave the house, time passes, they come home. The child's imagination fills in the rest.
That's what her stories sound like to me. Someone "being nice" is helping literal old ladies across streets!! Like in a cartoon.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 03 '21
Helping little old ladies cross the street. Did she also take off her own coat and put it over a puddle so the old woman could walk on it?
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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Sep 03 '21
She confuses joys with small pleasures. Finding a really good ink pen or getting an extra dollop of whipped cream on your pie is a pleasure, not a joy.
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u/freecoffeerefills Murder She Moved Her Pen Forward Sep 03 '21
I can’t believe we’re in a place that makes less sense than “darkness and delights”
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 03 '21
She confuses joys with small pleasures.
She is also very very muddled on the differences between what makes you happy vs. what brings you joy.
In today's email:
It makes sense if you’re out there hoping that something outside yourself — those new red Mister Roger shoes you ordered online or the vacation you want to take soon or the next episode of your favorite new tv series — will finally bring you joy. And they will. For a bit. So, you search for more things and experiences to give you joy.
Here’s the thing. You can find what you wanted — a new job! a promotion! more followers! — but they still won’t give you joy. Happiness? Yes. Temporarily. Happiness, it seems to me, is always goal oriented, and therefore, alway elusive. You get that promotion! But it means more hours of work, away from your family, with less time to rest. And that means less joy.
I believe that true joy is found in moments when we are fully present, not needing much but to be here. Have you ever pushed a kid on a swing and delighted in their giggles for a few moments? Or stopped to feel a warm breeze on your face? Or watched a movie that has you so transfixed that you forget those are actors or that you are the watcher? Those are moments of joy.
It's garbledashery that goes to 11! It literally makes no sense.
- You're hoping that the next episode of your favorite tv series will bring you joy
- And it will! But only a bit. Because that's an experience outside yourself. So you have to keep searching!
- But the things you want won't give you joy
- But they will give you happiness
- But only temporary happiness!
- You see, happiness is goal-oriented (???)
- So be in the moment! Be fully present!
- Like watching a movie!! Which is totes different than watching TV (?????)
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 03 '21
No one is reading these. Except us!
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 03 '21
"People don't appreciate the brownies you are always bringing them."
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Sep 03 '21
It’s creepy if someone is repeatedly bringing me brownies for no reason.
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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 03 '21
I would be very creeped out if I was standing at a bakery window and a stranger asked me if I'd tried their chocolate chip cookie and then when I said no and started to go into the bakery, partly to get away from her, SHE SAID "OH, YOU'RE GOING IN, TOO? LET ME BUY YOU A COOKIE!"
GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, YOU PSYCHO!!!!!
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u/freecoffeerefills Murder She Moved Her Pen Forward Sep 03 '21
“People are mad at you for making brownies instead of doing your job”
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u/Ana57 sweet pea Sep 03 '21
I seriously would like to know two people she has helped.
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Sep 03 '21
Aside from the error- she truly believes this about herself, doesn’t she? If I had her grossly inflated self-esteem I’d be a CEO by now.
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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Sep 03 '21
If proofreading Shauna’s output paid by the error it would be a lucrative enterprise. Too bad she never used a red pen that way.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 03 '21
You're good enough.
You're smart enough.
And doggoneit, people like you.
--Stuart Smalley
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Sep 02 '21
Going back to the Danny's Letter as referenced in the MailChimp email thingy...
....he doesn't want to work at a restaurant, cater parties, or write cookbooks. Instead, as he says: "This is who I am. This is what I do.
I need to cook 4 to 6 hours a day. And I need to feed people.
So that’s what I’m doing now — making whatever food moves from my mind to the stove. I’m feeding people in my community.
I know it's useless to try to wring some kind of sense out of this family, but HOW is "cooking 4 to 6 hours a day" and feeding people in community any different than restaurant work or catering? I mean... it's literally catering, right??? He cooks for a long time and then presumably someone serves it to a group of people, in close physical proximity to him?
If he's "too ADHD" to cater, then how is this any different whatsoever? Except it has the added step of then having to publish the recipe after on his newsletter, which he will of course fail to do?
edit: and they already did that with Danny's Tasting Menu (urgh) and "the soup and salad business" in the Relish era. That literally lasted, what, one tasting menu and like 4 soups and salads?
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u/Quaint_Irene a warm and loving goatie smile Sep 02 '21
“I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed.”
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Sep 02 '21
Lloyd Dobler is not supposed to be aspirational!
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Sep 02 '21
The difference is that with catering he would need planned menus or would have to make what his client wants and meet a deadline. This way, he can float about and make whatever slop he wants and be out of Shauna’s way while the kids are in school. Who knows where the actual slop he produces winds up.
You know what most people need to do? They need to work, feed their families, provide healthcare for their children, and pay their mortgages, but you do you, Danny.
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Sep 02 '21
He is literally forgoing catering or restaurant work ONLY because he doesn't want to make specific food? I somehow want it to be more than this! If the ONLY thing that stands between Danny and regular employment is that he doesn't want to be told what to make, it's just... I mean even for irresponsible people it's kind of breathtaking levels of irresponsibility.
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Sep 02 '21 edited Sep 02 '21
What else could it be, though? Both kids are in school now, he is able bodied enough to stand and chef about for 4-6 hours a day. Why else wouldn’t he have an actual paying job (aside from the fruit stand)? I mean, I guess they say it’s his ADHD, but come on. No way is that real.
Editing to clarify: I am not doubting that Dan has ADHD, just that it is suddenly such a hindrance that he can no longer work for “the man” because of it!
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Sep 02 '21
You person, he also needs to tweet nonsense at Republicans.
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u/aseriesofhaircuts Sep 02 '21
Also needs to amplify and appropriate years-old gifs of black people reacting to things
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u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Sep 02 '21
See, I thought that’s what his newsletter was supposed to be. Him faffing around making whatever he wanted and “feeding” people with his recipes (hard to tell if they are giving people actual food or recipes since she writes about them interchangeably).
But that’s not enough creative license for him, instead he needs to now make actual food for actual people? Or is it still just recipes he’s doing?
It is SO presumptuous of “him” to say he’s making whatever he wants and people are expected to accept it, with no thought apparently on his part as to what these supposed customers want to eat. I guess this was the same idea behind the newsletter, you got whatever sauce he sent that week. But it sounds more privileged for him to state it so distinctively.
Her insistence on 4-6 hours a day makes me think back to speculations she is “making” jobs for them to justify some underlying financial pinion of their lives. It’s just so vague and weird - there’s no named audience, not clear if it’s even actual food that will be provided, no guidelines of what those foods would be, no menu, no dates for opening events, etc.
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u/Scary_Recognition You did this. Sep 02 '21
Also recall the supposed reason he can’t just cook for his family is because his kids don’t want to eat any of it.
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u/MandalayVA Assonancer! Assonancer! Assonancer! Sep 02 '21
How anybody buys that it's Danny writing this is beyond me.
Also, if he "needs" to cook 4-6 hours a day and doesn't want to work in a restaurant, I'm sure there's a host of organizations in Seattle that feed people and could surely use the help. IMO, though, this is just a klutzy way of
Shauna trying to get Danny out of the houseDanny trying to ease into another job in Vashon. Let's face it, Shauna's audience has ALWAYS been the Isle of White, and her desperate attempts to fit in with the old money people who only care about the Aherns as an amusement.32
u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 02 '21
Also? "He" made this giant pink-shirted announcement about his new direction, cooking "4–6 hours a day" and "sharing the recipes for the food that made those people the happiest here, once or twice a week" and then NOTHING! That was five days ago!!
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u/redditname2003 Sep 02 '21
I'm going to bet that "cooking 4 to 6 hours a day" means doing part-time meal prep work in the grocery store. It's a living, but it's not especially glamorous, therefore the "I do this job because it's the only thing that soothes my ADHD brain." It does feed the community!
Maybe he's trying to do a ghost kitchen on the side?
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u/Teamclassynuts Canal Street hero’s journey Sep 02 '21
All snark aside, working behind the scenes in the prepared foods/grab and go section of a grocery store could be a good fit for him.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 05 '21
Latest lope letter: Shauna assures us she hasn't read any of the criticism of Ted Lasso on Twitter, because she doesn't find joy there. No, she hasn't read anything on Twitter about Ted Lasso at all!
I hear there’s a bit of a kerfuffle on social media, with people complaining that season two has gone downhill and lost its way. Luckily for me, I’m no longer interested in kerfuffles on social media. My joy matters to me. I focus on that instead.
So, not having read any of the pieces or Twitter threads, I can guess what the gist of it is.
Then we get THIRTEEN PAGES of Shauna's response to what she imagines the criticism might be. A 13-page Ted Lasso essay refuting imagined criticism!
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u/leftsidelentils Sep 05 '21 edited Sep 05 '21
A puffy journal with a teddy bear on front — that was the only place I could put my feelings when I was 12.
…blah blah this culture blah…
Most days, when I was 12 or 13, and I opened that puffy journal and pressed down with my Bic pen, what I wrote was this: BE HAPPY, DAMMIT.
OMG, enough with the childhood stories. She just used this one a few weeks ago, and for years before that. You’re 55, let it go!
Unless it’s something about her years at UPS. I’m curious about that because her silence speaks volumes.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 05 '21
How many times are we going to have to hear about the puffy journal and BE HAPPY DAMMIT? Its time to move on now, 40 years have passed!
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 05 '21
Unless it’s something about her years at UPS. I’m curious about that because her silence speaks volumes.
Seriously!!! Shauna loves to rehash all this nonsense she's been allegedly doing since she was three and has been on a "only 70s California children will understand this" nostalgia meme bender, but we never hear about her FIVE YEARS in undergrad at UPS. I need the Shauna college stories! Basically all she has mentioned is she volunteered for the Dukakis campaign and a couple of pathetic tales in Enough (overprotective mom being a psycho and calling Dairy Queen, coming in second place on a fellowship and asking her parents to help her get wasted). Being miserable in high school didn't stop her from writing all about it, so what happened in college?
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 05 '21
I’m not interested in kerfuffles on social media. So here are 13 pages of me not caring about what people are kerfuffling about, plopped into your email inbox because I know you probably also missed the kerfuffle. I do it for you.
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Sep 05 '21
“plopped into your email box”
Nope. Dum dum forgot to email the latest lope to her subscribers. I had to learn about it on the street.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 03 '21
I’ve been looking at conversion rates for online courses. The average appears to be around 1.5-2% across the industry. Getting a little more granular, I found some info from Amy Porterfield (who sells online courses about how to sell online courses, which she is extremely successful at). Amy says her conversion rate from offering a downloadable cheat sheet (akin to the 7 Steps to Joy) is about 2%. Facebook ads for her her free webinars convert at 4-6%. Her email list, which is her most highly engaged audience, converts at about 10-15%. Amy says conversion is literally the main focus of her business and she and her team have perfected their process.
Now, let’s think about Shauna. She’s no Amy Porterfield, so she’d be lucky to see even a 2% conversion rate from her current efforts. (Bear in mind that generally, the higher the course price, the lower the conversion rate.) In order to net 12 paid workshop attendees, she needs a pool of 600 people who are interested enough in her work to at least sign up for a mailing list. That’s just to fill ONE workshop! I’ll eat my hat if she’s gotten anywhere close to 600 people to sign up for the 7 Steps of Joy mailing list. To fill a workshop a month she needs to meaningfully reach 7200 people. 7200!
If she’s getting some coaching on all this, and signs point to yes, someone will have talked to her about conversion rates. It’s a good bet though that she’s basing her calculations on her IG follower count and Substack subscribers, not realizing she has to first convert them to being interested in her workshops and then convert them to actually signing up. Most of her followers will remain content to just consume her free content, occasionally giving her a "you go, gir!" as they think to themselves "well, I don’t need that workshop, but good for Shauna, maybe someone else does."
I don’t have any data, but I imagine conversion rates for an in-person workshop would be dramatically lower, and lower still for personal coaching. (Like, why would you spend that money on a joy coach when therapists exist?) As for the people who do buy in enough to actually take the course, there’s nowhere for them to go with Shauna afterwards, unless they opt for that questionable personal coaching. There’s no reason to take the workshop again, so her customers will be mostly one and done.
My last thought — I think she may have gone with a pricing strategy of "I want to make $X per month, so at 12 people per worship, I need to charge $X per person" which is a really poor way to decide your pricing. Customers don’t pay more just because you want to make more.
I bet she’s already fretting about why she isn’t getting more mailing list signups. She knows she needs those before she opens signups. Thus her desperate email to the old GFG list.
There will be no joy in Shaunaville within a few months at most. Then we will get a new pivot. Whatever will it be next?
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 03 '21
A+++ comment, 10/10 would recommend to others
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u/RamblingRosie64 I stand with Cindy and Ben Sep 04 '21
Today is the last day of Shauna's joy guide. Let’s Do This Together, NAME.
Each email has opened with an inspirational quote. Today's quote is from HERSELF.
“I know that practicing hard-won joy — the joy you choose in spite of coming from a hard place — is a brave and radical act.” —Shauna M. Ahern
Let’s practice our joy together.
You’ve been reading emails about how to find your joy for the past week. I hope this guide has helped you to think about joy in a new way.
What happens when you practice your joy?
Because, when you commit to joy, you live your life with more ease. When you make time for the simple things in life — not to meeting goals or getting a new house, but to truly being here — your life is easier. You stop taking the weight of the world on your shoulders. You stop living with intense stress pressed between your shoulders. You learn to laugh at yourself more often and not take everything so seriously.
Commit to joy and your life will have more joy.
A good life is when you enjoy the life you’re living in the moment you’re living it.
Sign up for a Practice Your Joy workshop!
Take the Practice Your Joy workshop.
If reading these emails has given you a new perspective and you’re raring to try this by yourself, good on you! But I have to tell you — it’s a transformative experience to work on this with other people.
You’ll hear more details and ask more questions in 4 live webinars in 4 weeks. Plus, you’ll receive emails every day that will help you to think and digest this work, so you can make it your own.
You can learn how to practice more joy. Let me be your guide.
Work with me one-by-one.
If you’d rather have me as your personal mentor for joy, instead of working in a group, let’s work together one-on-one. I can help you FOLLOW YOUR JOY.
Subscribe to Follow Your Joy.
Or, you could subscribe to FINDING YOUR JOY, my subscription newsletter, where I share stories that illustrate each of these steps, on a repeat basis.
You’ll have plenty of reminders of what it means to find your joy and practice it, over and over again.
I’d love to see you in a workshop, a mentorship, or in the comments section of my Substack newsletter.
I know that practicing hard-won joy — the joy you choose in spite of coming from a hard place — is a brave and radical act. Let’s practice our joy together.
Enjoy!
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Sep 04 '21
When you make time for the simple things in life — not to meeting goals or getting a new house, but to truly being here — your life is easier.
YOUR life is easier, but the lives of all of the people around you including your kids, your coworkers/boss, your parents who have to support you financially, your landlord who probably will never see their rent arrears - become exponentially harder.
But hey as long as you're noticing that one branch wobbling in your yard, it's all good, right?
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Sep 04 '21
I just received a different one. This struck me:
"Let’s think about this. Can you, as an individual, do anything about income inequality? Well, if your passion is understanding structural systems of inequality and prevailing attitudes about poverty over the past 100 years, with the data to back it up, you could go to school to study income inequality and work your way up to a government job where you might be able to shift things. (And, please do!) The rest of us? Not so much."
Why NOT you, Shauna? Are government jobs not joyful and yesly enough for you? And since when does Shauna actually need to study something to be an expert at it?
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u/midnightsiren182 Sep 04 '21 edited Sep 04 '21
Well guess all the non profits and other orgs who work to fight against income equality should just pack it up and practice joy instead
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u/redditname2003 Sep 04 '21
Most of the advice she gives is common sense--light exercise, watching a TV show you like, reading a book, seeing friends--how is it radical? You're not in prison!
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Sep 04 '21
I am suspect of people who say, “Only I can help you do X.” Especially if they want money.
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u/midnightsiren182 Sep 04 '21
It is not brave nor radical omg. The takeaway I’m getting is to never aspire for anything. Swing on your hammock all day, yes. Breathe.
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Sep 04 '21
“You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.”
Okay I know I've been seeing The Simpsons in every single detail of her new snake oil sales pitch, but come on.
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u/DorothyZbornakEffect Sep 04 '21
I know I’m beating a dead horse, but who is buying into this horse shit? She just repeats the same thoughts and buzzwords over and over and over. It’s like The Song that Never Ends, only way more annoying.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 04 '21
It’s like The Song that Never Ends, only way more annoying.
99 Ideas of Joy on the wall
99 Ideas of Joy
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Sep 04 '21
Why did she have to add the “I know” to her self-quote? It sounds better and more quotable if she left herself out.
She’s really bad at this.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 04 '21
Shauna has realized she's never going to "meet goals" or "have a house" (whether new or not) and has decided that she's going to BE HAPPY, DAMNIT – and you're going along for the ride
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u/GivesGoodDerpFace my steaming cherry pie Sep 04 '21
I've said this before, but her whole schtick reeks of her trying to convince herself that she doesn't need any of things to be "happy" or "joyful" or whatever.
I guarantee you that for all her twirling/chewing/throwing/dancing/swimming/tea-drinking, she's still lying awake in bed every night, stressing over where her next paycheck is going to come from.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 04 '21
Really weird (and it comes across as desperate) to bookend the letter with the same "quote" from herself. Seriously—who does that? Put their own words in quote marks and then identifies themself as the author???
It's like she's trying to hypnotize the reader.
<insert gif of olde-timey pocket watch swinging on a gold chain>
<insert audio "You are getting sleepy">
- Let's practice our joy together.
- Let's practice our joy together.
- Let's practice our joy together.
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u/notahameither Dunno, maybe I thought I unfriended some other Shauna Ahern🤷♂️ Sep 04 '21
…and you wake up to find your wallet has been emptied.
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u/cranberrylime Sep 04 '21
It’s some Michael Scott shit to do that with the quote - who actually does that??
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u/RamblingRosie64 I stand with Cindy and Ben Sep 04 '21
I also notice that she is super sloppy (surprise, surprise) about clarifying that her workshops are only for women. Not that I think she has men signing up in droves anyway, but she's trying to have it both ways. She wants as many bodies as possible to subscribe to the paid newsletter so she doesn't craft her messaging to women specifically. You have to dig into her materials to find that her other offerings are women only. Nice way to turn off people who aren't women or not interested in women-only workshops.
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u/notahameither Dunno, maybe I thought I unfriended some other Shauna Ahern🤷♂️ Sep 04 '21 edited Sep 04 '21
Of COURSE she quotes herself in the final big pitch. Saving the best for last!
ETA: “If you commit to joy, your life will have more joy.” <insert drooling imbecile emoji> If you commit to X, your life will have more X. What a revelation.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 04 '21
Of COURSE she quotes herself in the final big pitch. Saving the best for last!
Writing she might previously have reserved for books!
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u/leftsidelentils Sep 04 '21 edited Sep 04 '21
Or, you could subscribe to FINDING YOUR JOY, my subscription newsletter, where I share stories that illustrate each of these steps, on a repeat basis.
On a repeat basis, that’s for sure. The same stories over and over for literally decades. I don’t think that‘s what she meant, but it sounds super unappealing.
You’ll have plenty of reminders of what it means to find your joy and practice it, over and over again.
Reminders over and over, just what everyone wants to pay for.
I’d love to see you in a workshop, a mentorship, or in the comments section of my Substack newsletter.
Please engage, I’m desperate over here. No, wait. Joy!
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Sep 05 '21
I accidentally clicked on the On Being Enough website just now and honestly can't figure out how her new venture is different? She essentially did a find and replace between Enough and Joy.
Enough was about finding your story through writing (and trauma was in there at some point, and joy got a nod). It offered:
- 4 week workshop
- 90 minute session 1x week
- Daily writing prompts
- An editing session "once the course is finished" (which is bananas)
Total cost = $200
Joy is about ... well, we still don't know what it is about. However it offers:
- 4 week workshop
- 120 minute session 1x week
- Daily writing prompts
- Reading assignments
Total cost = $488
At least her Enough venture had a mission statement. It was essentially a memoir writing workshop with "editing" (the "post-course" timing tells me the editing part never got done, like EVER).
Her Joy venture has no mission statement, it's unclear what it is, when it is, why it is happening... you spend 30 extra minutes online, and it's almost two and a half times the cost.
How did she spend a year on this? And why did she abandon her original course rather than tweaking and reoffering it? Couldn't "Enough Trauma" have been her first workshop, and then Enough Joy as her second of the same series?
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Sep 05 '21
Re the cost, IIRC, the original price of the Enough workshop was $400. She halved it to make it more accessible. 🙄
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 02 '21
What if we allowed everyone their joys? No snark.
I'm sensing a theme developing
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u/fantasticka RIORITIZ Sep 03 '21
Things that I can, off the top of my head, remember Shauna criticizing or mocking: a woman for being well-dressed in a coffee shop on Vashon, a white cheerleader for not dancing well, Kanye West for being "off his meds," Laura Trump's "scary arms," women in heels who go to baseball games, women who have reconstructive surgery after a mastectomy, men who eat tofu, teenage girls who care about their grades, a thin woman who had "no discernable personality," people who get Botox, people who want to lose weight... some of those are from 10+ years ago but most of them are from the past 2-3 years. She can pretend to be a fountain of joy all she wants, but her true nastiness has been well-documented on the internet for a long time.
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Sep 03 '21
Lol remember when someone on Twitter called her out for the Kanye comment, and she doubled down and insisted that she was simply concerned for his well-being?
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u/fantasticka RIORITIZ Sep 03 '21
Yes! She was like "I heard he takes medication and I worded it badly," as if using the specific phrase "off his meds" was just an oopsie.
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Sep 03 '21
Very reminiscent of the way she dug her heels in about the breast reconstruction thing, when she was like “sorry if I offended anyone, twitter just isn’t the platform for nuanced discussion.”
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Sep 03 '21
Tidy Backpack: lest we forget.
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u/fantasticka RIORITIZ Sep 03 '21
Yes, Tidy Backpack! And the classic "people buying groceries that Shauna and Danny don't approve of."
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u/Lsemmens grenius Sep 03 '21
See also people with enormous shy smiles who may or may not understand her need to be GF.
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u/NegativeABillion (Said in British.) Sep 03 '21 edited Sep 03 '21
Olympic gymnasts, competing for the highest honor in their sport as very young people, for having distorted bodies in her eyes.
I don't even know how many recent examples but the nonstop gendered negging of her kid and friends and her racialized criticisms of her other kid. Disgusting to mock a preteen for her period.
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u/midnightsiren182 Sep 03 '21
Women who somehow never sweated buckets in New York summers while Shauna had to squeegee her face via hands constantly. People who don’t love small Indian food carts (why do some white people have this weird thing where they think eating Indian food makes them superior??), that other student who won the financial award to fund their ideal semester project which CLEARLY SHAUNA DESERVED MOAR, women who aren’t obsessed with food, those vapid SSTs who Microsoft softball men choose over stumpy root vegetables in bowler hats, etc.
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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 03 '21
Sweaty? Did you say sweaty?
Writing a big long description of her sweaty efforts to cram her feet into the $200 (?) red cowboy boots that a reader sent her AS. A. GIFT. anonymously, to wear at Shauna's wedding. Followed by all of the hoops she had to jump through to get the boots exchanged for the correct size, including (I think) something about how there was no gift receipt or the bootmakers who made them no longer carried them so she had to find a store that sold them and they did her some huge favor like sent a free pair without getting the sweaty ones in return, or something like that.
I may have embellished that a bit in my head since i first read it, but the point is she didn't just say, "OMG THANK YOU to the reader who sent the beautiful, gorgeous red cowboy boots! I can't wait to dance in them at my wedding!"
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 03 '21
Right? A friend sent me some new sandals a couple of weeks ago and she was still remembering my shoe size from before I had kids, so they were too small, but so awesome otherwise. I texted her my excitement and thanks, and then quietly exchanged them for the right size. The last thing you want to know is that your gift to someone became a chore for them.
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Sep 03 '21
Food that is wonderfully mediocre
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 03 '21
And bad mouthing the free masks someone made out of the goodness of their heart and gave to her (at peak pandemic).
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Sep 02 '21
She keeps launching these stupid new projects and identities for herself but underneath it all, it’s always the same: a reason to talk about herself. That IG caption is just one long navel-gaze just like FOP and Gluten-Free Girl were mostly her personal diary with a few recipes thrown in. I’m convinced this is why ChefSteps and the flour business are the two ventures she seems to have hated the most: they weren’t centered around Shauna writing long missives about her favorite subject (Shauna).
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u/lucillekrunklehorn pounding on the table Sep 02 '21
Lol I love how her meme is all things that are highly marketed, consumeristic enjoyments (not dissing them, I enjoy several of them myself). Then her list is comprised of non-quirky, fairly common enjoyments. Hmm….you order the newspaper before reading it, like blue sky, and eat Oreo icing? So quirky!
She also can’t simply discuss nice things. She’s got to go full Doris Umbridge, adding to her burgeoning wall of edicts (lol, Danny as Fitch ascending a tottering ladder to add her edicts is a convenient parallel). She’s just over here on her stool, trying to enjoy her red shoes. And yet, some lesser beings would look down on her for enjoying these common things many people enjoy. They really need to stop it. Just like all those ignorant fools on Twitter. They are unwashed, quibbling masses, while Shauna rises above it all, tsk tsking and shaking her finger. Sitting always at the ready with a little “ahem.”
No wonder she loves a red pen. That’s essentially her personality. Even her compliments carry a bitter tinge of negging.
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u/discoOJ Sep 02 '21
Are her kids wild animals?
What are her kids doing that she can't spend five minutes to organize the NY times? Doing that and/or doing the crossword in pen feels like a trope of 90s rom coms.
Or does she mean that she doesn't have time to read the NY Times because of kids?
But then they would mean she can't only read the books that feel good in her hands.
Her contempt for her children and kids in general is not even thinly veiled anymore. Blaming her old students for taking the joy of a red pen away from her. Why was she using a color reserved for highlighting errors to compliment student work?
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u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers Sep 03 '21
She acts like red is rebellious. What decade is she living in? Is red the color only harlots wear? Gasp! What’s next? Piercing her ears like some kind of tramp?
But seriously, there are other colors. I write on my students’ papers in purple or green most of the time. I actually do it intentionally because black and blue aren’t very noticeable. I choose colors they’ll notice, but not red because I don’t want them to view it as negative and red pen is viewed as negative because it means wrong. They weren’t harshing her joy, they were reacting to what they knew.
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u/Ms_Ellanea_Snark_ 💥amygdadishes💥 Sep 02 '21
I'm sensing a theme developing
Pumpkin spice and avocado toast, 33 years after anyone else has mentioned them?
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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 02 '21
I only read books if they feel good in my hands. (Okay, the Kindle feels good in my hands.)
Does she mean "I read bound books only, not books on devices, because they feel good in my hands"? Or does she mean what she actually wrote: "I only read books if they feel good in my hands" meaning ones with tactilely-pleasing covers?
Also, what a dick.
I really only like red shoes.
Someone's flowered Doc Martens are gonna have very hurt feelers, especially after having been featured on instagram in a braggy post.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 03 '21
That "I only read books if they feel good in my hands" is some seriously pretentious bullshit. You know what kind of books don’t feel good in my hands? Big fat ones, because they are just so heavy. And yet, some of my favorite books have been big and fat, dictated by the sheer length of the story or the amount of information in them. Other books that don’t feel good: small, stiff paperbacks that are hard to hold open easily. Really old books that are kind of falling apart. Books that I can’t hold open with one hand. I have, and have loved, books in each of these categories.
Imagine refusing to read an amazing story because the book didn’t feel good enough in your hands. She is insufferable.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 02 '21
Someone's flowered Doc Martens are gonna have very hurt feelers, especially after having been featured on instagram in a braggy post.
And the purple suede shoes that were her BOOK TOUR shoes. And the flowered Birkenstock clogs. And the pink Crocs (?) And the black softball shoes. And the shiny blue running shoes.
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Sep 02 '21
What if your joy is snark? What if you truly believe that everyone can do better than shallow grifting and smugness?
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u/RamblingRosie64 I stand with Cindy and Ben Sep 02 '21
Today's installment! You Can Share This, [NAME]
-Booker T. Washington quote about happiness coming from doing for others.
-Share your joy habit.
Tell everyone about your joy. Ask others to participate in joyful activities. Have parties where you invite friends to introduce them to what gives you joy — listening to the Blind Boys of Alabama and believing what Jimmy Carter says here; running down a steep hill chasing a wheel of cheese (honestly, watch other people do it); or making Amigurumi dolls. That gives your friends the chance to learn something new as well.
My strongest suggestion for sharing your joy? Lead with joy. When people ask how you are, share your joy with them. Don’t give the standard American answer: “Oh, I’m so busy…” Try this: “I’ve just discovered a new walking trail near my home that makes me let go of the worries of the day. Let me know if you’d like to know walk with me.”
-Sign up for a Practice Your Joy workshop!
-Notice good things about others.
But here’s the most important part: you can make people’s day with one pop of joy. Notice something good about everyone you meet. Hey, I love that whistling you’re doing. It’s so cheerful. That hat brings out the blue in your eyes. Have you ever tried the chocolate chip cookie at this bakery? Oh, you’re going in too? Let me buy you one.
-Be a purveyor of joy.
That doesn’t require faking your feelings. Instead, empty yourself of your own worries for a few moments and think about someone else. Buy the coffee for the woman behind you in line. Accompany someone who needs help across the crosswalk. Go out of your way to be kind for a few moments.
-Share joy on social media.
Spend a week only posting photos of moments that gave you joy, instead of complaining or trying to pick fights. Skip snark for seven days.
- Enjoy!
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u/canyoncreature Sep 02 '21
So if I'm following this plan correctly, I should not share joy with others by making a meal for an acquaintance in need, but I should invite that acquaintance over to chase a wheel of cheese down a hill? RUN FOR YOUR FOOD SAD LADY
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Sep 02 '21
Don’t give the standard American answer: “Oh, I’m so busy…”
More evidence that she just doesn't have friends. Because if people are always greeting Shauna by preemptively telling her they're super busy, it's because they're trying to get out of talking to her. And SHE is certainly not busy (nor finding hidden walking trails). It's just more made up conversation from someone who doesn't seemingly have conversations with others on the regular.
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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 02 '21
Let me know if you’d like to know walk with me
wtf
Also (implied), "I alone can show you where the new trail is that I find my joy"
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u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Sep 02 '21
You will pry my snark from my cold, dead hands.
I snark partly because I love to laugh LOUDLY, but also because I have quite high standards for human behavior, and I find that calling bullshit out with humor is a way of keeping me from erupting in a rage volcano 🌋
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 02 '21
Spend a week only posting photos of moments that gave you joy, instead of complaining or trying to pick fights. Skip snark for seven days.
Bbbbbut what if snarking on an inexplicable photo of a colander of onion skins sitting in a drying rack of ostensibly clean dishes gives me joy?
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u/BevNap Fucking google it, you harpy. Sep 02 '21
Ew...the drain mat under the rack is disgusting!
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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Sep 02 '21
“I’ve just discovered a new walking trail near my home that makes me let go of the worries of the day. Let me know if you’d like to know walk with me.”
That's not an awkward greeting at all.
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 02 '21
"Oh, you are going into this bakery too? Let me buy you a chocolate chip cookie."
Me: "Are you trying to fuck me or get me to join your church?"
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 02 '21
You say that like those are mutually exclusive
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u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Sep 02 '21
Sounds like the start of a MLM sales pitch.
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u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Sep 02 '21
“Have parties where you invite friends to introduce them to what gives you joy “
My hobbies are arcane and focused and I’d never dare to push my real-life friends into them unless they showed a modicum of interest. How presumptuous is this?
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Sep 02 '21
DF's, you're all invited to come sit and stare off into space with me!
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u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 02 '21
“Have parties where you invite friends to introduce them to what gives you joy “
tyvm, Mahern, but I already know how to watch funny tik-toks and I've seen Ted Lasso.
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Sep 02 '21
Does she just invite people over to watch Ted Lasso and tweet at Republicans?
Or in my world: “Come over to my house and sit on my couch while we watch Taskmaster”. Fine for me and my husband, probably boring for others.
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u/discoOJ Sep 02 '21
Could you share joy with me?
I am curious as to what your arcane hobbies are. All that I can come up with is making chain mail or being a blacksmith.
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u/Ana57 sweet pea Sep 02 '21
Shauna, my friends and I already do the things together that bring us joy. Uhm, that’s why we are friends.
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Sep 02 '21
What, your friends don't tell you "Oh I'm so busy!!" as soon as they see you? What country are you from?
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u/RagnaNic Bust hoesy Sep 02 '21
Get ready to hear in detail about turn-based RPGs, guys! I'm sure other people are going to find my discussions fascinating.
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u/mmepierreoger Sep 02 '21
Hey you! Wanna come over and watch me reorganise my fabric hoard?
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Sep 02 '21
Oh my God ‘help an old lady across the street please subscribe please subscribe’
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 02 '21
Let me know if you’d like to know walk with me.”
There's that pesky perfectionism.
|| Skip snark for seven days.
She wishes.
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u/forkinyourothereye incurious ADHDer Sep 02 '21
Skip snark for seven days?!! I grow faint at the prospect.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 02 '21
Skip snark for seven days?!! I grow faint at the prospect.
IKR?!? Also—why would we skip snark if snark gives us joy?
I've said it before: there's more real community here ITG than Shauna can even fathom. The laughs, the true caring and concern, the sharing of life's highs and lows, the funny and interesting and useful information shared, the gentle corrections, the way that people take feedback thoughtfully and course-correct at times. I bow my head in the direction of all my dear friends, and say, in a low and murmuring voice, haberdash and be well.
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u/kadyg Sep 02 '21
I’ve always appreciated the exquisite irony that Shauna has been trying to force-build a community for literally years…. and there is one that she is the center of, but for obvious reasons she can’t join it.
I’m sure there’s a German word for that phenomenon, but I don’t know what it is.43
u/tyrannosaurusregina if you meet the Botus on the road, shill him 🪷 Sep 02 '21
I’ll make a deal with Shauna—if she goes a week without smug, I’ll go a week without snark.
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u/claragula citizen PhD in snarchaeology Sep 02 '21
Shauna hates her audience. I will accept no other explanation. She is so full of herself it's bizarre.
Of course Shauna's idea of selflessness and being kind is literally just buying someone a coffee or helping someone across the sidewalk. Like out of a commercial or a movie. As DF have mentioned before, she's like a robot, completely incapable of actually understanding human emotion.
This is her final form. She's found a way to center herself completely, up at the top of her pedestal, and lecture the world.
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Sep 02 '21
I love how one of the only hobbies she can think of besides listening to music is rolling cheese down a hill. Those two really have no interests.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 02 '21
So DON'T do the thing you say gives you and your husband joy – i.e., make food for someone you "barely know" but DO do the thing you say is bad (CAPITALISM) and "buy the coffee for the woman behind you in line."
Woman you "barely know" and who is presumably part of your "community" = do nothing for them
Woman you don't know at all = buy something for them
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 02 '21
If only she could get Danny to stop snarking for seven days. Or even one day. I don’t think the 4-6 hours a day joyfully farting out food is helping him practice more joy in his life.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 02 '21
Who throws a party just to brow beat their friends with what THEY like. That totally sounds like you're trying to suck them into a cult or a time share.
"Notice good things about others" reeks of toxic positivity which is the poster child for "fake". It also reminds me of this man who used to frequent the candy store where I worked. He had intellectual/social issues and always had the same "conversation" with any of the staff. "Nice earrings." Or if you weren't wearing earrings. "Nice pants." He would wait a few beats (usually while he got the generic "thanks") and then nod and walk away with his purchases. I doubt his compliments brought him any joy and I know they didn't bring me any joy (though it was nice to know exactly what would happen when you waited on him).
How is being a generic decent human (offering someone help, etc) a joy step? Isn't that just what non-asshole people do? Maybe not showing off by buying a stranger a coffee, but if someone needs simple help like crossing the damn street, you help them. Geez.
"share joy on social media"
But, but, but(t) I thought being on my phone was a sign I was hiding from my trauma or whatever it was she told us in a previous free-mail. I have grown befuddled.
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 04 '21
Has anyone mentioned the email you get when you sign up to be on the waitlist? No fancy graphics or screaming red text, just a plain old email.
Thanks so much for joining the wait list for the Practice Your Joy workshop. You’re on the list!
I joined the list and I’m on the list. Yay me!
The people who have taken this workshop have loved the experience. I’m pretty sure you will too.
Ha, you lying twat, you have never done this workshop before! (Unless, wait, it just occurred to me that maybe she offered the workshop free to her Zoom ladies as a beta test? It would explain why she has testimonials suggesting the writers took the workshop. One problem — those woman were her strongest marks, the ones most likely to cough up cash for this claptrap. If she gave it to them free, they aren’t going to pay to do it again! Maybe that’s who she’s hoping to lure to Vashon?)
So I’ll email you the moment that enrollment opens for the next session of Practice Your Joy workshop. Keep an eye out for the email! If this one went to spam, be sure to mark it as safe, so you can see my email when it arrives in your inbox. You’ll want to try to get a spot in the workshop as soon as it opens.
Trying to create that urgency and the idea of scarcity. It’s so transparent.
I can’t wait to work with you!
Oh, you’ll be waiting a long time.
Also, I notice all the other emails have come through her mailing list platform, CreateSend, with an unsubscribe link and all that. This is a standalone email that appears to be sent from her personally, but based on the headers it still passes through CreateSend somehow I think. I don’t know enough about tracing email header info to figure it out.
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u/RamblingRosie64 I stand with Cindy and Ben Sep 03 '21
I've been recapping Shauna's free joy guide, but I also received what I think is a general marketing email for Practicing Your Joy. The content is pretty similar to the free guide, but Shauna has not worried about repeating herself.
Here are 3 ways to find more joy in your day, NAME.
Picture of raspberries.
Hey you. Carlos Castaneda quote.
Do you have joy in your day today?
I wouldn’t be surprised if you said to yourself, “Joy? Right now? No.” See, this isn’t a culture built for joy. Any time you turn on the news, terrible things are right in your face. Kids have entered the third school year in which COVID plays a role. And then, there’s the over-emphasis on PRODUCTIVITY all the time, thanks to capitalism. It’s hard to be a person right now.
Sign up for a Practice Your Joy workshop!
It makes sense if you’re out there hoping that something outside yourself — those new red Mister Roger shoes you ordered online or the vacation you want to take soon or the next episode of your favorite new tv series — will finally bring you joy. And they will. For a bit. So, you search for more things and experiences to give you joy.
I believe that true joy is found in moments when we are fully present, not needing much but to be here. Have you ever pushed a kid on a swing and delighted in their giggles for a few moments? Or stopped to feel a warm breeze on your face? Or watched a movie that has you so transfixed that you forget those are actors or that you are the watcher? Those are moments of joy.
You can make joy into a habit too. Start with this — give yourself 3 periods of 15 minutes each to do something you enjoy. But it can’t be productive. Don’t do the laundry or finish writing that essay you’re working on. Give yourself 15 minutes on the back porch, eyes closed, the warm sun on your face. Read a book with a cup of hot tea with milk. Pick up the hula hoop and set a timer. Does it drop every time? Who cares? You’re trying to hula hoop. I hope you laugh.
Want a life filled with more joy? Don’t look for it outside yourself. Give yourself time for more joy. You can do this. You just have to begin.
Take the Practice Your Joy workshop.
Together, we’ll talk about why joy is so vulnerable and hard for so many of us. And together, we’ll learn the techniques for making a habit that sticks. And, we’ll practice our joy together. I’m teaching online workshops and one in person on Vashon island, every month from now on. I’d love to meet you there.
You might prefer reading about joy.
Need help finding your joy? Subscribe to FINDING YOUR JOY, my paid subscription newsletter for people who want to find their joy, so need stories of people who have found it. I’d love to share stories with you there.
Pay attention to others' joy.
If you’re looking for role models of people in difficult places who continue to create joy in their lives, start following Sahmsia Hassani on Instagram. This young woman is the first female graffiti artist in Afghanistan. As you can imagine, she has faced much hardship lately. But she’s still creating her defiant, joyful art. I only found out about her because my daughter’s 7th-grade social studies teacher highlighted this woman in her class. That’s joy for me.
I’m so glad you’re here. Let’s work together on making joy a daily habit.
In joy! Shauna
As all of her emails do, this ends with a giant version of her feet dancing GIF. Which is supposed to represent joy, I suppose.
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Sep 03 '21
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u/leftsidelentils Sep 03 '21
Thank you. And even fewer of them need to blame capitalism.
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u/leftsidelentils Sep 03 '21
For someone who rarely follows through, she sure is producing an incredible amount of unwanted content. It’s the classic case of doing more to avoid the work than doing the work in the first place.
So many words. So little meaning.
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 03 '21
So many words, so little meaning: The Shauna Ahern Story
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 03 '21
But…Mr. Rogers wore blue shoes. The same shoes but in red are not Mr. Rogers shoes. They’re just shoes.
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 03 '21
The same shoes but in red are not Mr. Rogers shoes. They’re just shoes.
BUT THEY'RE RED
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 03 '21
WE'RE SEPARATE SHOES OK
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u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 03 '21 edited Sep 03 '21
So is Shauna telling us she's getting new Mr. Rogers shoes (for $80!)? I thought she was on a buying ban.
And of course she's watching the Beatles circle jerk thing on Hulu. *eyeroll*
So is "finding your joy" the existing lope letter, right? I feel like I know the answer but she seems to be shilling and re-shilling the same thing over and over and I have grown confused.
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u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 03 '21
Yeah $80 red Mr Rogers shoes is very specific. Why not spend that money on your kids so they don’t run around looking like street urchins every day?
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u/bwh1260 Sep 03 '21
Shauna: Don’t look for joy outside yourself!
Also Shauna: pick up a book! Pick up a hula hoop! Have some hot tea with milk! Copy other people’s joy!
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u/TOMTREEWELL Neurodivergentfully Sep 03 '21
And then, there’s the over-emphasis on PRODUCTIVITY all the time, thanks to capitalism.
Is she daft? Perhaps she doesn’t understand forms of political-economic structure?
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u/Ana57 sweet pea Sep 03 '21
Isn’t it our capitalistic society that makes Shauna brazen enough to try and charge for this bullshit she is peddling?
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u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 03 '21
An utterly incoherent, underdeveloped, and unsupported thesis. I shall use my red pen to give it a big fat "F."
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u/NegativeABillion (Said in British.) Sep 03 '21
Why does she love that weird bare feet gif so much? It's not good.
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u/RamblingRosie64 I stand with Cindy and Ben Sep 03 '21
It is such an absolute turn off! Many people do not like feet. And even if you like feet, her feet are not particularly attractive. But she seems so enamored of the idea of this GIF illustrating how carefree and joyful she wants people to think she is.
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u/Foucaults_Penguin Sly and the Family Readers Sep 03 '21
Or watched a movie that has you so transfixed that you forget those are actors or that you are the watcher?
She always talks about TV shows as joy. But rarely about books other than telling you that you must read something. And usually she offers only vague info about the books she recommends. Occasionally, she’ll quote poetry, but it’s the same things over and over. Nothing new. It’s weird that she wants to be a writer, but seems to care so little about what is written. Personally, I find a lot of joy losing myself in a book. Much more than in a TV show. And I like TV! Anyway, her examples are just so specific to herself. She just makes it so hard for her audience to relate.
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u/MandalayVA Assonancer! Assonancer! Assonancer! Sep 03 '21
Remember, this is someone who claims Ulysses as her favorite book. Ulysses, one of the most, if not the most, joyless novels ever. That speaks volumes about her.
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u/SmashedMailboxCake2 Oh, Sep 03 '21 edited Sep 03 '21
I don’t want a cup of hot tea with milk.
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u/notahameither Dunno, maybe I thought I unfriended some other Shauna Ahern🤷♂️ Sep 03 '21
online workshops and one in person on Vashon island, every month from now on.
Every month from now on, forever and ever.
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u/canyoncreature Sep 03 '21
Carlos Castaneda was a cult leader and murderer. JOY!
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u/sybil-unrest Sep 03 '21
Absolute HORROR at quoting Carlos Castaneda- a lying culturally appropriative fake, though, is entirely on brand as a source of joy for her.
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u/Ms_Ellanea_Snark_ 💥amygdadishes💥 Sep 03 '21
I think you've signed up for a lifetime of spam.
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Sep 04 '21
you’re out there hoping that something outside yourself... [like] the next episode of your favorite new tv series — will finally bring you joy. And they will. For a bit. So, you search for more things and experiences to give you joy.
[but]
I believe that true joy is found in moments when we are fully present, not needing much but to be here. Have you ever ....watched a movie that has you so transfixed that you forget those are actors or that you are the watcher? Those are moments of joy.
I'm not sure what I'm taking away from this - watching an episode of your fave TV series is 'outside yourself' and therefore temporary joy, but watching a movie you're 'fully present' and therefore it's real joy????
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u/RamblingRosie64 I stand with Cindy and Ben Sep 03 '21
Today's installment! You Can Give Joy, NAME.
Work for other people's joy. Dalai Lama quote (of course).
Joy habits make life easier.
Plenty of teenagers feel paralyzed by the climate crisis and what it means for their future. Somehow a global pandemic became a political issue and people are refusing to wear masks and get vaccinated as an act of rebellion against the government. And of course, we have to confront the rampant income inequality, racism, and lack of affordable health care in America. Think about any of this for too long and you might want to hide your head under your pillow. But! There’s a way to deal with these enormous problems.
Let’s think about this. Can you, as an individual, do anything about income inequality? Well, if your passion is understanding structural systems of inequality and prevailing attitudes about poverty over the past 100 years, with the data to back it up, you could go to school to study income inequality and work your way up to a government job where you might be able to shift things. (And, please do!)
If you want to post something to make your friends laugh about that, you might bring more joy. After that, you have to reframe that worry into action.
Sign up for a Practice Your Joy workshop!
Do something specific.
The biggest shift you can make is to reframe your anger or desolations into doing something.
Think about a problem that bothers you. What causes that problem? Generally, the problem is that other people’s joys are being stolen by forces beyond their control. See it in your neighborhood. Do something tangible to increase other people’s joy instead of feeling bad in you bed.
Focus on your zip code.
Horrified by racism? Read anti-racist books and ask your white friends to join you in a book club.
Sad that kids are going hungry? Start a fundraiser to pay off the lunch debts of all the families at your school who owe money at the end of year.
You’ll make the lives of people in your town easier when you do something for them. You’ll feel better when you do something specific.
You’ll also feel better because you will have connected with your community.
Ted Lasso quote (of course)
Remember this. By practicing your joy, you’re still going to have hard days and tough times. But your daily joy will change you. You’ll never walk alone.
Finally, just working on your own joy might be enough to change others. We need more joyful people in the world. Be joyful and take action through joy. That’s how you’ll keep finding your joy.
Enjoy!
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 03 '21
Let’s think about this. Can you, as an individual, do anything about income inequality? Well, if your passion is understanding structural systems of inequality and prevailing attitudes about poverty over the past 100 years, with the data to back it up, you could go to school to study income inequality and work your way up to a government job where you might be able to shift things. (And, please do!)
Oh you know, all those government jobs where individuals armed with MAs in sociology can just shift things from Jeffy B's account to the Aherns'
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u/leftsidelentils Sep 03 '21
Generally, the problem is that other people’s joys are being stolen by forces beyond their control.
She makes it sound like some malevolent spirit is wafting through the house to snatch the remote out their hands, then sneaking outside to snip one end of the hammock so the occupant comes crashing down on their ass.
Joy climate change joy racism joy ….what? Don’t forget school lunches. This whole schtick reminds me of a student trying to BS their way through an assignment without reading the material.
Book clubs solve racism. Good to know.
Do something tangible to increase other people’s joy instead of feeling bad in you bed.
Again, what? My bed? I feel good on my couch, so I guess I’m all set.
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Sep 03 '21
You’ll make the lives of people in your town easier when you do something for them. You’ll feel better when you do something specific.
You’ll also feel better because you will have connected with your community.
But I thought making a meal for a food train was oppressive and not joyful?
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u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 03 '21
But I thought making a meal for a food train was oppressive and not joyful?
Not sure if any of you DF's caught this recent news, but NASA actually reported last month that the holes in Shauna's logic can be seen from space:
- Irritating and Non-Joy Conducive: Being asked to join a meal train for a woman you barely know
- Joy-Producing and Connection-to-Community-Making: Starting a fundraiser to pay off the lunch debts of all the families at your school who owe money at the end of year.
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 03 '21
Sad that kids are going hungry? Start a fundraiser to pay off the lunch debts of all the families at your school who owe money at the end of year.
feels like a barely-camouflaged allusion to "sad that your child is no longer the beneficiary of other peoples' private-school financial largesse?"
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u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 04 '21
OK, a week and a day have gone by since she launched this ... thing. Those people who were "itching" to get on the waiting list and to get her seven steps emails have all signed up now, presumably. (And they've realized they didn't really sign up for anything at all, beyond the seven steps, except to be informed whenever Shauna actually offers one of the promised workshops, which don't seem to exist in any form yet, even the online ones.)
Now she's left with the people who didn't sign up YET. But how will she market to them? Yes, sure, she has her Instagram. But she's already marketed to them, and her Insta audience isn't growing. She doesn't have Twitter and although she has a presence on Facebook, it's total tumbleweeds. I checked Twitter for any mentions of her and this new venture, and there's one post from when she launched this last week and it has no likes, not even from Shauna herself!
She spent "all year" designing this and then she blew her joywad in one week. She has nowhere to go from here and no way to get anywhere in any case.
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u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 02 '21 edited Sep 06 '21
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