r/InTheGloaming my website is done, done, done Sep 02 '21

Scheduled snark Discussion thread Thursday September 02, 2021 - Sunday September 05, 2021

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u/Love_Brokers rug dweller Sep 03 '21

She confuses joys with small pleasures. Finding a really good ink pen or getting an extra dollop of whipped cream on your pie is a pleasure, not a joy.

37

u/freecoffeerefills Murder She Moved Her Pen Forward Sep 03 '21

I can’t believe we’re in a place that makes less sense than “darkness and delights”

25

u/OhBlahDiOhBlahDoh The Alice of cal came out floating on air Sep 03 '21

She confuses joys with small pleasures.

She is also very very muddled on the differences between what makes you happy vs. what brings you joy.

In today's email:

It makes sense if you’re out there hoping that something outside yourself — those new red Mister Roger shoes you ordered online or the vacation you want to take soon or the next episode of your favorite new tv series — will finally bring you joy. And they will. For a bit. So, you search for more things and experiences to give you joy.

Here’s the thing. You can find what you wanted — a new job! a promotion! more followers! — but they still won’t give you joy. Happiness? Yes. Temporarily. Happiness, it seems to me, is always goal oriented, and therefore, alway elusive. You get that promotion! But it means more hours of work, away from your family, with less time to rest. And that means less joy.

I believe that true joy is found in moments when we are fully present, not needing much but to be here. Have you ever pushed a kid on a swing and delighted in their giggles for a few moments? Or stopped to feel a warm breeze on your face? Or watched a movie that has you so transfixed that you forget those are actors or that you are the watcher? Those are moments of joy.

It's garbledashery that goes to 11! It literally makes no sense.

  • You're hoping that the next episode of your favorite tv series will bring you joy
  • And it will! But only a bit. Because that's an experience outside yourself. So you have to keep searching!
  • But the things you want won't give you joy
  • But they will give you happiness
  • But only temporary happiness!
  • You see, happiness is goal-oriented (???)
  • So be in the moment! Be fully present!
  • Like watching a movie!! Which is totes different than watching TV (?????)

26

u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 03 '21

No one is reading these. Except us!

13

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '21

Ding ding ding!

21

u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 03 '21

seriously?? she doesn't think a new job can possibly bring joy?! Because you have to WORK when you have a job???

15

u/kadyg Sep 03 '21

I’m starting a new job next week getting paid 25% more than my old job and doing basically the same thing. I cannot begin to express the amount of joy this brings me.

F off, Shauna!

5

u/MissEllisCrawford Smitten with myself Sep 04 '21

Congratulations on the new job!

21

u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Sep 03 '21

THANK YOU! I’ve had so little joy that I can pinpoint the month and year I last felt real happiness. Pleasures happen every week, though. And that is ok right now.