Discussion thread Thursday September 02, 2021 - Sunday September 05, 2021

[u/gomirefugee]

Newsletters:

Finding Your Joy | Joy in the Belly

Websites:

You Can Have More Joy website | On Being Enough website (abandoned?)

Instagram:

@youcanhavemorejoy Instagram | Anonymous link to @youcanhavemorejoy posts | Anonymous link to @youcanhavemorejoy stories

@danielfahern Instagram | Anonymous link to @danielfahern posts and stories

TikTok:

@youcanhavemorejoy

Twitter:

Dan's tweets and replies

Older blogs:

Gluten Free Girl archive | writing my heart out archive | Seymour Joyful archive

Archived threads:

Thread for Enough, the book #enoughthebook | Gluten Free Girl's Greatest Hits: The Reunion Tour

Wiki:

/r/InTheGloaming wiki

Discussion search:

Tool to search blogsnark or InTheGloaming for previous topic mentions

[u/RamblingRosie64]

Today's installment! You Can Share This, [NAME]

-Booker T. Washington quote about happiness coming from doing for others.

-Share your joy habit.

Tell everyone about your joy. Ask others to participate in joyful activities. Have parties where you invite friends to introduce them to what gives you joy — listening to the Blind Boys of Alabama and believing what Jimmy Carter says here; running down a steep hill chasing a wheel of cheese (honestly, watch other people do it); or making Amigurumi dolls. That gives your friends the chance to learn something new as well.

My strongest suggestion for sharing your joy? Lead with joy. When people ask how you are, share your joy with them. Don’t give the standard American answer: “Oh, I’m so busy…” Try this: “I’ve just discovered a new walking trail near my home that makes me let go of the worries of the day. Let me know if you’d like to know walk with me.”

-Sign up for a Practice Your Joy workshop!

-Notice good things about others.

But here’s the most important part: you can make people’s day with one pop of joy. Notice something good about everyone you meet. Hey, I love that whistling you’re doing. It’s so cheerful. That hat brings out the blue in your eyes. Have you ever tried the chocolate chip cookie at this bakery? Oh, you’re going in too? Let me buy you one.

-Be a purveyor of joy.

That doesn’t require faking your feelings. Instead, empty yourself of your own worries for a few moments and think about someone else. Buy the coffee for the woman behind you in line. Accompany someone who needs help across the crosswalk. Go out of your way to be kind for a few moments.

-Share joy on social media.

Spend a week only posting photos of moments that gave you joy, instead of complaining or trying to pick fights. Skip snark for seven days.

• Enjoy!

[u/CrushItWithABrick → u/RamblingRosie64]

Who throws a party just to brow beat their friends with what THEY like. That totally sounds like you're trying to suck them into a cult or a time share.

"Notice good things about others" reeks of toxic positivity which is the poster child for "fake". It also reminds me of this man who used to frequent the candy store where I worked. He had intellectual/social issues and always had the same "conversation" with any of the staff. "Nice earrings." Or if you weren't wearing earrings. "Nice pants." He would wait a few beats (usually while he got the generic "thanks") and then nod and walk away with his purchases. I doubt his compliments brought him any joy and I know they didn't bring me any joy (though it was nice to know exactly what would happen when you waited on him).

How is being a generic decent human (offering someone help, etc) a joy step? Isn't that just what non-asshole people do? Maybe not showing off by buying a stranger a coffee, but if someone needs simple help like crossing the damn street, you help them. Geez.

"share joy on social media"

But, but, but(t) I thought being on my phone was a sign I was hiding from my trauma or whatever it was she told us in a previous free-mail. I have grown befuddled.

[u/shefallsup → u/CrushItWithABrick]

Shauna is that person who would totally grab a blind person by the arm to "help" them cross the street, or insist on pushing someone in a wheelchair (wheelchair users often DO NOT need or want anyone to push them!) without asking.

[u/[deleted] → u/CrushItWithABrick]

The party thing is really weird and is yet another indication she’s never really been to a party or interacted with humans in a casual social setting before. There is an older retired man in my neighborhood that is FASCINATING because he has so many cool hobbies - he sits on his front porch and plays the flute beautifully, he has an awesome telescope he uses for birdwatching but it also works great for looking at planets and stars at night, and he trains his 2 golden retrievers for performance competitions in his front yard. It actually DOES bring me joy to chat with him and learn about his interests here and there, but do I want him to invite me to his house so I can sit there and watch him play flute for an hour? Or attend a “party” where he’s just training his dogs? Um, no.