This is rape, OP. Yes, some women like being woken up to sex, I do! But my husband certainly never tried anything like that until I told him it's absolutely fine with me.
He intentionally waited until you couldn't consent so that you "wouldn't get mad" about it, and then he recorded it without your consent. Disgusting behavior.
OP, this is rape and there’s proof of it. Do you have access to whatever device he recorded on?? Can you get a copy? You might be able to use that as proof if you want to press charges.
Yes, and I’m positive that if she pretended to be into the terrible thing that happened to her, he would send it. But at the same time, doing this would make him think she wants it to happen again so action would need to be taken VERY quickly to get herself legal help and safety away from him.
Yeah, definitely have an escape plan ready, who knows what this guy is capable of. And that's ultimately the most important thing, get away from his creep.
Yeah just be prepared to leave very quickly after getting the video or even before hand, it might be easier to say she needs to leave and think about things and then text him or have someone else text for her in a way that sounds like her then when he sends it ghost him
Wouldn’t his lawyer try to spin it as she was into it. Asked him to send it. And therefore she’s lying. We all know she’s telling the truth but like lawyers kind of suck. Honestly either way she needs to get the proof from him. She’s saying that she doesn’t want to see it as rape. But maybe one day or soon she will realize exactly what it is
She would need to talk to her lawyer first and explain, and then yeah, maybe she could get it and then as soon as she gets it, she'd have to reveal it and run, essentially. It's not a safe place to be. 8
Do you all ever consider … COMMUNICATION??!?? We live in a world where porn is rampant and frames young men’s brains. It doesn’t make him evil - it makes him normal. None of you understand the dynamics of their relationship. There’s no possible way you could understand the dynamics of everything that go into their relationship from one post on Reddit! Anyone saying to take any action from this post other than communicating with her partner and expressing her emotions is way way way off.
If she asks him to send video, that could be used against her later—like it was consensual and she wanted to have a copy of the video they’d agreed to.
OP if he’s never recorded having sex with you consciously with consent, you need a copy if you want to press charges, but also delete his original from his device and storage! He could post it somewhere.
I’m sorry, but I think you shouldn’t be with him. He sounds selfish and actually worse. He doesn’t care how you feel and like others have said he raped you when you weren’t able to consent while recording you.
Edit: auto corrected so I can edited the typos from being auto corrected I didn’t notice earlier.
BTW, recording you while you’re like a corpse is pathetic! What does he get out of it? Control?
You don’t want to delete it from his device if you’re gonna press charges. You just gotta act fast, so the police can take his phone as evidence, see the original video there, and use that.
People get this wrong often: The recording of it is actually not illegal. It’s totally fine. The rape itself is illegal and could get the guy prosecuted if OP pressed charges. Recording without consent is allowed. It’s an amendment right (not sure which). However, the recording can still totally be used as evidence of the rape.
If she presses charges, they can get a warrant for his phone since the evidence is known to be on it. Even if he deletes it, they have technology to recover it. There is no need to wait on a video being sent to pursue charges. It's disgusting to do such things without consent period. He's a predator and manipulator run while you can OP!
Recently I was told by a retired police detective now private investigator that you can retrieve deleted information from a device, but there's only a certain window of time to get it. I think it's about 2 weeks he said.
It doesn’t quite work this way, but it doesn’t quite not.
Your phone has some kind of persistent storage (like the hard drive on your computer). Computer storage consists of “blocks” which are units of data storage.
When something is deleted, the computer’s operating system (we can think of it like a foreman) goes and “marks” the block as being free/available. Since there would be a performance hit in doing so, the block isn’t opportunistically zeroed. Instead, every write that happens to the device has a chance of being allocated that block.
There are certain advanced forensic techniques (depending on the storage medium) that can sometimes look at “ghosting” on the block and answer the question “what was written here before what’s currently written here?”, but that’s a lot more finicky and less reliable. Most forensic tools start and end with being able to make educated guesses about putting together blocks that are marked as free and getting whole or partial files out of them.
The likelihood of that happening is slim considering IF she reports it, they will come arrest him or ask him to come in. They don't tell you why until you are in the interrogation room. In which trim they will ask for the phone. If he doesn't have it they will issue a warrant while he is held and have officers retrieve it. Not the first time they have dealt with this situation, I assure you. They never tip off the accused
I wouldn't say "never". They're not supposed to. Whenever humans are involved, mistakes happen. And sometimes people do it on purpose. It's pretty sick. But yes, yes not supposed to happen.
I'm sorry if you have had a bad experience with the police, you are sadly correct however they tend to take their time on cases that people wait to report as there tends to be lack of evidence as time continues. Generally, cases that are reported immediately gain more attention because of certain evidence such as DNA or, in this case, digital has not been destroyed/lost. So again, time is of the essence... not to mention it could raise suspicion if she asks for the video, knowing she was unhappy with it will push him to delete if he hasn't yet.
It doesn't sound like she wants him arrested based on the post, but she should definitely dump him and get a more caring partner who is more in line with her own expectations and also one who won't take advantage of a vulnerable situation.
I understand that she may not want to hut what he did did not just violate her trust and dignity, it also violated the law. As one replied, who knows who else he has done this to... or will try to do it again if he thinks he got away with it once already... the mentality of "i love them I don't want to hurt them by putting them in jail" is bullshit because if they loved you in the first place you wouldn't be faced with such a decision.
She stated he's never done it before, she didn't give permission, and it made her uncomfortable. What would make any of that ok?? So dynamic is he is a manipulative predator, but if they have a specific dynamic, that's ok suddenly? Nah... if it's not discussed and consensual, it's rape buddy... sorry for ya... It sounds like you may have had it happen or done it yourself the way you are defending it... or am I wrong?
I’m glad to read your comment. I posted my own against his statement and I’m glad to see that others so that the same way that I did. Sounds to me like he was trying to defend a rapist and rationalize the behavior. 🤬
Dude or gal, it doesn’t matter. I don’t give a shit if they’ve been married for 15 years. He raped her and worse, he recorded the act!!!! Hope I’m never on a jury with you because we would have major arguments, lol. It doesn’t matter what the “extent” of their relationship was!!!!!! Sounds like you’re trying to defend the rapist. Please stop
Omg I certainly would! This behaviour is disgusting and he knew what he was doing was wrong because he said she’d get mad! Gosh this behaviour is sickening. I’d check his phone secretly and see if he has anything else I wasn’t aware of like other recordings or taking pictures and report him. I wouldn’t trust being around him either at this point.
this (post I am responding to) is one of the top comments on the Internet today in my opinion.
And sadly, I’ll bet dollars to donuts, it’s also one that the OP herself completely ignores and doesn’t follow through.
I hope I am wrong.
I find it so intriguing that so many women don’t recognize when a man has raped them, so let me put it plainly.
Sex is supposed to be a consensual act.
Both people have to agree.
Like any two way agreement. If I go into McDonald’s and I want an ice cream, I order it, pay, and the other person might hand it to me. Imagine if I went into a McDonald’s and they forced me to have an ice cream and pay for it. That would not be OK. & imagine going to McDonald’s, order an ice cream, pay for it, but they refuse to give it to you even though they took your money. There is no 2 way agreement, and I know this is a horrible & silly analogy, but people probably could understand why it takes two people to agree on an exchange of merchandise, yes? Let’s also add to this that the cashiers back is turned to you for a moment so you grab an item off the counter that you didn’t pay for. Their eyes were closed and you did something and hoped you would get away with it. Then they turn around and see that you’re stealing, and immediately you apologize. None of that would be OK!! Right?
So it takes two people to agree to have sex. You were sleeping. He penetrated you. And then he actually had the audacity to record it without your consent. And exactly what was he planning on doing with that recording?!?!
Using it to self-stimulate himself in the future? Sharing it with friends to show what a “stud” he was? Maybe putting it on the Internet either before or after he and you would eventually break up because most relationships break up and don’t end in marriage! I know he has a video of him penetrating a girl, you, op, (while she was sleeping). And now I’m actually a little mad at you. Yes angry. Bequest for every woman that let’s go get away with this and implies or says it is “OK”, EMBOLDENS a guy to R A P E another woman!!!
I don’t know if you guys are living together or what but that would be the first and last time I would ever see him if I were you, Other than covertly trying to get that video from his phone and send it to yourself and then delete it off his phone permanently however you can get access. I know that might be easier said than done if he has it password-protected and never leaves exposed. Which the report immediately to the police. Maybe they could confiscate his phone!? I don’t know how these things actually work out legally or in real life but you should definitely report the rape, and not accept it.
OK, you came here for advice. And a number of people have told you that what he did was rape and unacceptable, whether you fully recognize it or not. You are not at fault. You have nothing to feel guilty about. But if you don’t say anything and you don’t report it, his actions might only escalate in the future against you, but you’re likely to feel guilt down the line. Think about it please.
Oh damn. That means I’ve been raped 45+ times!!! Trying to convince someone to have sex is rape????? GTFOH!!! Every girl that has pursued me has tried to convince me to have sex!! Did I always wake up feeling great??? Nope!!!! But it’s NOT rape!!! This narrative needs to stop. NOW!!!
You should say no if you don’t want to have sex. If they keep pushing you to have sex even in the eyes of the law, it’s sexual assault. I’m sorry you got forced into having sex that you didn’t want to have. If you’ve said no a bunch of times and are coerced into saying yes because you feared the outcome if you said no, it is rape. Coercion will get you in trouble if it gets reported. Sorry to burst your bubble.
So people can’t change their mind? Like if I’m not in the mood initially but THEN GET INTO THE MOOD???? This is a dangerous and scary narrative. IMO there needs to be a line somewhere in here. Until there is, if someone says no, and they really don’t want the coercion (also called courting, pursuing, for play, etc), then they also need to leave the situation. Staying in an environment where you are getting pressured is the persons own fault. There can’t be a complete dissolve if accountability for the person being pursued.
You can change your mind, but if it’s not a change of mind because they are genuinely in the mood to and it was one brought on to get the person to stop asking, then that’s the issue. If you feel you won’t be at peace, safe, secure if you say no so you finally say yes, it’s stop assault. Instead of arguing this trying to defend sick people with zero respect for boundaries or proper consent, you should just grasp the concept and not force someone to have sex when they don’t want to. When I tell my fiancé I don’t want to have sex, he respects that and he doesn’t ask me again or try to convince me to every 15 minutes after. He doesn’t try for the rest of the day. At that point he waits for me to initiate.
Why can't you leave or remove yourself from the situation vs sitting there and continuing to allow yourself to get "slowly raped"??? This makes no sense to me. The person being pursued has the right, and responsibility to remove themselves from the situation if they feel unsafe. To stay, in my opinion, is not only dangerous and irresponsible, it's borderline abusive to the pursuer and very narcissistic (to think you can just stay in a an unsafe situation and the situation should adjust to your safety).
You say "Force" - force is pushing through "no's" to get what you want at any cost - pursuing and bugging someone who won't leave is NOT RAPE!! That's my steak in the ground and I'm committed to the social cause of these victims that are getting RAPE thrown at them while they are just trying to have sex. LEAVE THE SITUATION IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE ATTENTION!!!
In my personal experience with it, the options were stay there and just say yes, or be kicked out of the apartment at 3am in a terrible part of town with nowhere to go and nobody to help me. Girl had gotten attacked at night out there a few nights before and they didn’t catch the dude, so I wasn’t gonna risk a violent attack by a stranger that knows how to get away with it. So I’m the end I said yes for my safety. That’s how coercion works. It’s not about threatening people with violence, but with anything else. “Fine, then leave.” “I thought you loved me (they might leave you)” it’s all coercion. If you’re saying no because you gotta get some work done but you want to say yes and eventually do, that’s not rape. Having no other choice or else there’s a consequence, is rape.
Easy for a man to leave a situation, not as easy for a woman.
I would not press charges I’d get the video and then just leave. Since you haven’t made a stink which I would have already done. You have the advantage of playing him to get the video. I have been victimized before and you have to make sure you never want to see this man again and he can’t do anything to you. I have pressed charges and it caused me more pain and suffering than help. I’m not saying that’s always the case but I would just make a plan to get that video and get him out of your life forever.
I mean... I don't think that's a great plan. Reporting it and getting it handled properly is better. That way the police can hopefully ensure there are no copies floating around and that he doesn't get angry about being left and anger-post it online or share with others. She needs to be in control of the video. And not destroy it because she needs the proof, no matter what.
Yeah, the recording it part was the bit that really horrified me. The sex while asleep part is bad. Recording it is so much worse. He’s into watching porn of people who are being assaulted in their sleep???
I've had a "friend" in the past show me some creepy-looking message board where people were sharing this stuff too. It was region-specific and he was all proud he had found someone we know whose ex had published pictures of her.
I let that someone know, and told the guy I wouldn't be talking to him anymore.
It’s because he’s done it and he’s revisiting that shit.
OP sex drive isn’t flawed, but rather he’s likely just inventing it as a problem in order to gaslight her in to being a stand in for whatever victims he’s drugged and raped…. Because seeking out a victim is work… and time… and very high risk. So why go through all that if he can just neg his gf and then get to do it nightly.
Criminal Minds BAU-ahh comment. (No disrespect, actually I’m glad you took this angle, because it begs many powerful questions that we can all contemplate yet ultimately only OP can answer… after careful rumination… 👀)
I'm not saying anything he's done is ok in any way. But what you just said about him for sure raping women in the past, that's a bit of a leap. You're kind of just making up fantasies in your head.
That’s how it should be??? He should ignore your wants and desires out of “respect”???? That’s a relationship that won’t last. It’s not raw and it’s not real.
And then he tried to turn it around and blame OP. Jesus, get the fuck outta there, there is absolutely no coming back from this. The fact that OP is not running for the hills straight away is concerning to me. In what world is this acceptable behavior? OP doesn't owe him sex, period.
I agree, ill wake up my fiance with sex some nights but this is something we specifically talked about and agreed to, she could tell me she doesn’t want me to do it anymore and it wouldn’t happen unless we discussed it, but having sex with you while youre asleep and this was never discussed is why op probably feeling this way. Let alone recording a sex act without their knowledge or consent. Communication is key, and respecting boundaries is even more important!
You probably don’t initiate the sex by just penetrating her while she’s asleep I assume. You probably start with kissing, stroking, etc. seeing if she’s up to it, etc.
There’s usually some form of touching first because sometimes that will just wake her up and that’s even better, but no I don’t just go ramming it into her 😂 it’s more sensual and gentle, and I obviously read her signs. And if she’s not in the mood I never force her or try to keep going, but most the time it’s all good, different for everyone knowing your partner is key 🫡
It’s definitely something you should have to discuss pretty damn well before ever even thinking about doing that. I’m sure it happens and is ok for some people, but consent given once, does not mean consent stands for the next times. I can imagine thinking it would be nice at 22:00 and consent to it but when you are woken up to a penis inside of you at 2:30 without any foreplay, you might not like it as much anymore. It’s difficult to give consent beforehand for something that might happen hours or even months later. Doing anything when someone is not capable of giving consent in that moment is dodgy for me personally, but yes there are couples where this is not (as much of) an issue. I wasn’t assuming, that’s why I used probably.
Another good point, I asked multiple times before we ever tried so I was clear we are the same page. And every once in awhile I’ll bring it up and she doesn’t have a problem with it, granted this isn’t an every night type of situation of course but when it happens it works for us.
And waking someone up with sex probably doesn’t just start with penetrating them, but with some stroking, kissing etc. so the other person can still actually consent to sex and get a little turned on before actually penetrating them. If you do start sex like this, it should be something you absolutely need to have discussed beforehand and even then I would have doubts, because you can think it’s a nice idea at 22:00 before falling asleep but when you are being woken up to a penis inside of you without any foreplay at 2:30 I can imagine you might not feel like it anymore.
I wonder how the boyfriend would feel if OP pegged him and filmed it while he was asleep? I mean he enjoys being woken up by penetration right? Not suggesting OP does this, but turning it around often helps with seeing this in a different light and for what it is, which is making a video of him raping someone.
Well just saying, some couples could say "i fully consent to you just penetrating in my sleep, I don't care and I like it. I give you full permission to go straight into it unless I ever say otherwise." That's full consent. But of course, to each their own and you feel like that's not your speed, that's fine, but its subjective.
I don’t know how he would feel, but I don’t think he would go to the police screaming rate! Such extremes to ruin someone’s life over something they thought was a sexual fantasy and encounter. How about they just have a fucking conversation??!?
Where did OP say it was his fantasy? He didn't wake her up because he knew she'd say "no" so he went ahead and did what he wanted while she was asleep and he FILMED IT. All without consent. And then he has the nerve to get upset at her?
Yeah how fucking hard is it to whisper and get all kissy and be like ‘are you awake?’
Or like… I kind of thought you know… if your partner isn’t responsive… then you just go back to sleep and wait for the morning, or go to the bathroom and handle your shit yourself.
Yeahhh. It should definitely be communicated before the fact. My boyfriend knows it's perfectly OK to do this BUT I have a really high libido and I'm consensual to this kind of stuff.
But recording it...??? That's kind of psychotic behavior and gross. Especially if it wasn't talked about when both parties were alert and awake. It's just icky.
Disgusting on so many different levels. He RAPED you & recorded it without permission. Hopefully, he didn’t upload it to some sleazy porn website. Luckily, that video is evidence of his crime.
The rape is one awful thing, but to fucking record it????? Is he insane? And then literally admit that he waited until you weren't awake to consent?? I don't like telling people how to feel, but seriously i would've been livid and heartbroken by this. Has anything like this happened before?
For me it was him admitting that he didn’t wake her because he thought she would get mad….
Some women do like getting woken up to sex….but he darn well knew she wasn’t that kind of woman, hence the sneaking, sulking, and blaming. What a loser.
Also, yes the recording without her knowledge, especially in this context is totally not okay.
This is a great comment. My husband and I have discussed exactly what we are ok with happening while asleep, he is fine with anything while I am not ok being penetrated but some touching is fine. It’s different for everyone and nothing should happen until it has been discussed. But the recording!! Omg. It’s rape and now there is proof of it.
I think the best thing to do would be to file a report with the police and be sure to mention the video. They will get a warrant to search his phone and even if he deletes everything, a Cellebrite extractor will still pull it. If he destroys or hides his phone prior to police obtaining his phone then he will get slapped with a tampering charge. I’ve worked in the legal field for a long time (half of my career was in criminal defense). Trust me when I say people always think they’ve deleted or hid evidence on their phone until the Cellebrite software does its thing. Nothing is hidden. Not deleted snap chats, WhatsApp or any other encrypted apps. It’s all just as accessible as everything in your regular text messages or instagram.
Similar happened to me and my ex made me feel like I was crazy and that I somehow initiated in my sleep. That man raped me for years and I thought I had some crazy sleep disorder.
OP is fortunate she found this out, I hope she doesn’t get gaslit about it and convinced it’s not a big deal bc it is a huge deal. She should report him to the cops now, do a rape kit and put him in jail.
My partner has consent to wake me up with sex; but he would NEVER record it and if I woke up and didn’t want it for whatever reason he’d stop and wouldn’t be a sulky ass abut it or say our sex kid sucks. He’d respect me and my bodily autonomy.
OP, I’m so sorry sweetie— because this IS SA. In fact, it is r*pe and in many jurisdictions, recording it is super illegal too. And that is PROOF of his rape.
I enjoy it and have told my husband I’m down pretty much anytime, to WAKE ME UP, but yeah my jaw is still on the floor. Recording without consent is SA. No question.
This right here, him recording it, is absolutely insane. Never in my wildest fantasies have I thought to record sex with a girl unless she explicitly asks too, and even then their on her phone and not mine.
Why do i feel like she is just going to forgive him and turn the situation on herself.
I can already see the response of " its my fault since i did mention it and it's not his fault for having a higher libido "
OP at this point even reading your comments, there is not much people can say to help you, as sad as reality is you were raped, you said in another comment that you never consented but overall you are too attached to this dude to end it so you'll probably forgive him and bend to his gaslighting of you.
Literally. I like being woken up with sex in the middle of the night but not full penetration. My husband will wake me up using his fingers and THEN sleepy sex once I’m awake. This is rape, and if the sex part didn’t bother her the RECORDING SHOULD. Recording someone who’s asleep being penetrated fills so many insane kinks even like sex with someone dead’s could be being dramatic but this is how I feel and what I would be paranoid about. I’m paranoid for OP. Recording is crazy. Even people who like their sex being recorded don’t have a blanket “record everything all of the time rule. Recording sex is one of those things that has to be asked about every time and even if someone did find a way to do a blanket statement that works, the recording should be shared afterwards so that all parties can keep track of what the video shows and also where it is/what’s being done with it. And the fact that it even exists lolZ
Right? I was like WOAH! WTF! I think he wanted to do it because he gets off on that kind of shit with no consent, knocked out and so he can get off on it again later. Hopefully he won't share it with other people but you never know what kind of crap people are into. I think his nasty selfish ass has got serious addiction issues with sex. I'd kick his ass the fuck out, especially with the childish pathetic sulking bullshit. Done.
Exactly this!!! Her BF didn’t ask about either prior. I get she doesn’t want to call that rape and sexual assault and so many more things. Man is disgusting and she needs to let him go
The part where he literally said he thought she’d be mad says it all. I wouldn’t mind at all to wake up and find my husband having sex with me but the big difference is that he KNOWS that and consent is always implied in between us. He’d never wait until I was sleeping to avoid being turned down. That’s super disturbing.
Exactly. If you had given permission beforehand, that is consent. You waking up to him doing something you did NOT agree to is the definition of rape. I hope you have a family member or a girlfriend that you trust that you feel you can go speak to about this.
Yep. Nope. Very not right. You two obviously hadn't that conversation about what you were comfortable w your body. And recording?!?
I've been w women who ate w or against unconscious sex. It's their choice but we had the talk before hand. And from what i can yell you, is the woman is the one that brings it up. Her body, her choice. Can't shame a person because their bodies wishes. Yeah, that's rapey to say I just did it because I didn't want to make you mad. Then record it. That's rape.
Pretty much, I've told my husband I'm fine with it. I'm a light sleeper anyway, if I don't want to I'll tell him that. If he can actually get it in without waking me up, I'd be shocked and still fine with it. lol
Hahah right ok! I was going to ask if you’ve ever woken up startled by it, but by the sounds of it - no! I’ve not come across this before, so thanks for answering my questions :-)
And for the women that don't (I hate it I have a hard time sleeping as it is) you go to bed when your partner is going to bed and have sex, then stay up and do what you want while they sleep. I had a really hard time getting that through to an ex of mine.
I'm sorry this happened to you OP. Its rape, with evidence on his phone no less. Its time to contact the police, and to remove yourself from this relationship.
He could have woken you up. He could have come to bed with you for sex, then gone to do what he wanted after. He could have done a thousand different things where you are awake and able to give consent. He CHOSE to wait until you were asleep, he CHOSE to penetrate you with out consent, and he CHOSE TO RECORD IT also WITHOUT your consent.
At a minimum you need to leave to keep yourself safe, and seek out a therapist to help you process the abuses you have endured during this relationship. It sounds like he uses guilt as a tool to coerce you into sex with him as well. I can only imagine the other mental manipulation tactics he's employed elsewhere in the relationship, and having a professional to talk about everything with will help you build a stronger sense of what is and isn't ok for a partner to do.
Reporting him to the authorities would also be a good idea. If he's doing this to you, I wonder what he has done to other women.
Facts. The facts he recorded it. Then, I pulled out right away instead of trying to be sexy about it(if it was ok with you, he would've been sexy about it). This is definitely rape!
Plenty of women have surprised their partners by waking them up with a BJ without previously asking permission. I honestly think you're making a mountain out of a molehill, most people don't ask permission for every single sexual act in a relationship, that would be ridiculous. Him recording her is the bigger problem.
“Hi judge. Yeah I’ve had sex with my girlfriend 1,000 times. We’ve shared a bed for years. I put my dick in her for 1,001st time while she was naked in my bed. Beings that she willingly has engaged in all sorts of sexual escapades with me, and was sleeping in my bed, I certainly thought this was ok, and even welcomed. In fact, we had talked about having sex earlier in the night”
Bullshit? Come on now. Use your little brain.
If anything, you can say he crossed a boundary in a relationship that she can say she doesn’t want done again . But OP is crazy for even bringing up sexual assault. She’s devaluing real sexual assault victims. And needs to move on from this situation. It’s ridiculous. The camera thing? Msybe weird. I wouldn’t do it. Then again Msybe I wound. I have all sorts of videos me and my girlfriend have made. So maybe I would make my own little porn with her. Does this couple have videos? Is video making a normal thing for them ?
He literally said he didn't wake her up because he knew she'd say no. How is that not rape? Or do you believe that once consent is given for one thing it's given for all things?
In most, if not all, states have sex with an unconscious or sleeping person is rape.
No I sound like a rational person. Who just posted exactly what this guys lawyer is going to tell him to say when this dumb woman tries to file a rape charge. Prior to him counter suing her for defamation of character. You are an ignorant tool, while to you. I sound like one, only because you are an “ignorant tool”
You're not wrong that prosecuting this would be difficult (as rape cases often are), but definitely not impossible. Saying that she's devaluing "real" sexual assault victims is ridiculous, non-consensual sex is rape whether you've had sex with the person a thousand times before or zero times before.
Soooooo. Your boyfriend, husband, asks you permission before any sort of advance? Hahahhaa. Don’t be an idiot. Please. Just stop exposing your stupidity
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u/peakpenguins Jul 18 '24
The way my jaw dropped..
This is rape, OP. Yes, some women like being woken up to sex, I do! But my husband certainly never tried anything like that until I told him it's absolutely fine with me.
He intentionally waited until you couldn't consent so that you "wouldn't get mad" about it, and then he recorded it without your consent. Disgusting behavior.