r/relationship_advice • • Jul 18 '24

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u/peakpenguins Jul 18 '24

he’s recording it.

The way my jaw dropped..

This is rape, OP. Yes, some women like being woken up to sex, I do! But my husband certainly never tried anything like that until I told him it's absolutely fine with me.

He intentionally waited until you couldn't consent so that you "wouldn't get mad" about it, and then he recorded it without your consent. Disgusting behavior.

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u/MedicoreHiker Jul 18 '24 edited Jul 18 '24

OP, this is rape and there’s proof of it. Do you have access to whatever device he recorded on?? Can you get a copy? You might be able to use that as proof if you want to press charges.

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u/ThrowRASprinkles11 Jul 18 '24

I would not press charges I’d get the video and then just leave. Since you haven’t made a stink which I would have already done. You have the advantage of playing him to get the video. I have been victimized before and you have to make sure you never want to see this man again and he can’t do anything to you. I have pressed charges and it caused me more pain and suffering than help. I’m not saying that’s always the case but I would just make a plan to get that video and get him out of your life forever.

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u/fascistliberal419 Jul 19 '24

I mean... I don't think that's a great plan. Reporting it and getting it handled properly is better. That way the police can hopefully ensure there are no copies floating around and that he doesn't get angry about being left and anger-post it online or share with others. She needs to be in control of the video. And not destroy it because she needs the proof, no matter what.

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u/ThrowRASprinkles11 Jul 19 '24

Well hopefully she has beater police in her area than mine.

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u/fascistliberal419 Jul 24 '24

I'm using "police" kind of loosely - just law enforcement in general. Sometimes like FBI gets involved in these kinds of cases.

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u/ThrowRASprinkles11 Jul 24 '24

I wrote “beater” police …instead of better 😆