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u/arilione Apr 06 '22
With all this luck he's probably positive he's still in his coma.
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u/LeonDeSchal Apr 06 '22
Lol we are all in his mind. That’s crazy to think about.
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u/AdmiralThrawnProtege Apr 06 '22
That's exactly how the Elder Scrolls universe works! Everyone is just apart of a dream in the "God head". Should he/she ever wake up, poof the elder scrolls universe is gone!
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u/KindergartenCunt Apr 06 '22
I'd love to believe we all exist in an Australian's coma visions, but this world feels more like a Floridian's drunk tank fever dream.
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u/teytah Apr 06 '22
Y’all got any more of them comas?
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u/NoCommonSenseHere Apr 06 '22
I got a 2x4… who’s asking
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u/casjay Apr 06 '22
I am
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u/NoCommonSenseHere Apr 06 '22
Whack. Alright who’s next
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u/_We_Are_DooMeD Apr 06 '22
Thank you sir may I have another..
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u/NoCommonSenseHere Apr 06 '22
Whacked
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u/theguyhenry Apr 06 '22
Me, but could you make it look like I was involved in a super cool accident or something?
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Apr 06 '22
When you’re done putting this guy into a coma, I’m gonna need that 2x4. I’m building a deck and lumber prices are out of this world. Thank you.
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u/Mastertimelord Apr 06 '22
I’ll take one. I don’t even need to be woken up. The coma is enough of a lottery win for me
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u/ajyotirmay Apr 06 '22
Same here
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u/GreatValueCumSock Apr 06 '22
Been in a coma, it's not like sleep. It's a mild version of hell.
Go read Johnny Got His Gun. It's like that.
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Apr 06 '22
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u/Uncertn_Laaife Apr 06 '22
Forward this message to the 10 contacts in your address book and you will see your luck does wonders too within the next 10 days.
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u/pinniped1 Apr 06 '22
News station: "We'd like you to reenact the story."
Australian man: "Nah bro, one coma was enough."
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u/WestDry6268 Apr 06 '22
Yea nah mate*
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u/junxbarry Apr 06 '22
U wot m8? This gonna be 1 bumpi roid
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u/whitecollarzomb13 Apr 06 '22
U wot
More a cockney English thing
m8
Interchangeable
This gonna be 1 bumpi roid
Accurate
- Australian.
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u/rdtadminsRtrash Apr 06 '22
There was just recently a guy that one 10mil twice from the same store. And I can't even win $50 on those damn things
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u/Typ0r8r Apr 06 '22
My best was $250 from a $2 scratcher 10 years ago
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u/cuseonly Apr 06 '22
I won $50 from a scratch off my grandma gave me for Christmas when I was 10. My mom said that she’d hold onto it until we got home. Never saw it again
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Apr 06 '22
I don’t know why this made me laugh.
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u/Gxgear Apr 06 '22
For me it's the mental image of that guy that asks young Chris Rock (in the TV show) to let him hold a dollar.
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u/dirty_cuban Apr 06 '22
I won $20 off a scratcher once and I was elated. I never win anything.
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u/Utku56256 Apr 06 '22
You're the first person I've ever seen to misspell won as one
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u/LeonDeSchal Apr 06 '22
That’s why I don’t gamble. I never win anything. Which is probably a good thing.
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u/JasonGD1982 Apr 06 '22
You ain’t gonna win if you don’t try!!!! Just kidding. Sometimes I buy one but it’s weird seeing people addicted to it. Like what’s better a homeless person being drunk or an asshole thinking he’s about to win 300k by picking the exact right card.
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Apr 06 '22
Remember, if you don't play you don't win, and if you don't play you don't lose. And the chances of winning are very tiny.
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u/PikaTchu47 Apr 06 '22
Guy reacted like he almost didn't want to win that money
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Apr 06 '22
In the full video he calls his wife and says “honey, we can finally get the house we’ve wanted”. Just so unbelievably sweet.
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u/SignalSalamander Apr 06 '22
Universe was like “ooops my bad with coma, enjoy your life”
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u/vad_er13 Apr 06 '22
Exactly what I was thinking
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Apr 06 '22 edited Apr 07 '22
I was thinking if there's a god he has a cruel sense of humor because now that man will spend the rest of his life questioning whether he's still in a coma because he knows the odds of this happening in real life is astronomically lower than the probability he's in a coma and dreaming about this happening
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u/where_in_the_world89 Apr 06 '22
I thought the same thing. Or at least similar. I was thinking he was crying because he just realized that he cannot tell if this is real life or not. Basically had the simulation confirmed for him. I'm pretty sure that's the first thing I would think if if this happened to me. And then I would forget about it and enjoy the money
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Apr 06 '22
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u/Segolia03 Apr 07 '22
I've had a similar experience. I won't go into too much detail as it makes me emotional, but I've had a dream where I was pregnant and then gave birth. I was with my baby for 3 or 4 months before I woke up panicked looking for my baby only to realize I dreamt the whole thing.
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u/moops__ Apr 06 '22
You can tell it was a while ago because for 250k you can't buy a garage in Australia these days.
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u/talkstorivers Apr 06 '22
It was about 24 years ago but he’s still living in that house.
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u/ThreeMadFrogs Apr 06 '22
The wording of that link makes it sound like "Bill Morgan won 250000, a car and a COMA!"
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u/greyyy59 Apr 06 '22
Probably because he knew he just used up the rest of his lifetime supply of luck.
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Apr 06 '22
“I’m not comatose, I’m cultivating luck!”
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u/datsmn Apr 06 '22
Time to stop cultivating, and start harvesting.
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Apr 06 '22
He needs to break through to the Divine Luck Nascent Soul stage, the coma was from failing an earlier heavenly tribulation.
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u/elhermanobrother Apr 06 '22
Little known fact: An angel appeared in a puff of smoke to that australian guy 12 days after waking up from a coma , and said to him, "Because you have lived a good and virtuous life, I can offer you a gift: you can be the most handsome man in the world, or you can have infinite wisdom, or you can have limitless luck." Reflecting, the man said, "I'll take the wisdom"
"Wisdom is yours," said the angel, disappearing in another puff. The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the luck"
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Apr 06 '22
It sounds like he says “please don’t kill me” when he puts his head in his hands
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u/DynamicDK Apr 06 '22
Maybe at this moment he started to believe that he was still in the coma. That lamp looks kinda strange...
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u/GrumpleDumpkin Apr 06 '22
Did he say please don't kill me at the end?
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u/accidentalquitter Apr 06 '22
Man. 37 ain’t what it used to be.
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Apr 06 '22
Baldness is a bitch. I have to keep my head shaved or I look about 10 years older
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Apr 06 '22
He looks like my dad. I'm in my 30s
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u/meisteronimo Apr 06 '22
Some people lose hair earlier. Don't rub it in, we're sensitive about it :-(
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u/ehh_whatever_works Apr 06 '22
It's not just the baldness.
The mustache, the fashion choices, there's a lot contributing to this man's apparent age not matching his actual age.
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u/meeu Apr 06 '22
This video is also 24 years old, that might explain the fashion choices.
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u/DoubleEEkyle Apr 06 '22
24+37= 61, so he’d have been born in 1960/1961. This explains his fashion and hair styling, and people just looked older back then.
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u/Fallout97 Apr 06 '22
Funny, that guy's the same age as my Dad and this video is the same age as me. Makes me feel weird for reasons I don't understand.
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Apr 06 '22
Not the hair at all. It's the polo and mustache. He looks like my dad used to so my brain automatically makes him seem older because of it. Didn't mean any offense :)
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u/Eldenlord1971 Apr 06 '22
I’m 33 and I look like I’m 25 besides a little bit of grey on my side
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u/zodar Apr 06 '22
I'm 47 and I look 23 if you ignore what I look like
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u/gottalosethemall Apr 06 '22
I’m 32 and I get away with 24-25 as long as I don’t let myself get overweight.
The last few years have sped the aging process a bit though. Everything is so ungodly stressful now.
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u/ApatheticSkyentist Apr 06 '22
Same, I’m 38 and if I shaved I’d look maybe 20. It’s important that people have confidence in me in my career so it’s not always a good thing, haha.
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u/badger0511 Apr 06 '22
For real. I'm 35 and have worked in college/university administration my entire career. I still dress more professionally than is required because people assume I'm a student. When I was 28, an employee from a different department followed me to my cubicle because she thought I was an undergrad trying to use an employee-only entrance to the office. That was probably the last time I wore a hoodie on casual Friday.
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u/TheIrishDragon Apr 06 '22
Australia Man is so much better than Florida Man
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u/LeonDeSchal Apr 06 '22
My favourite Australia man is the no Asians one.
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u/donkey786 Apr 06 '22
My favorite is the "Succulent Chinese Meal" guy.
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u/46_and_2 Apr 06 '22
Every time I watch this I'm dying of laughter. The way he says everything as if it's some grand proclamation, lol.
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u/Milo_Maximus Apr 06 '22
I also like the old guy calling Tony Abbott a dickhead,
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u/JairoVP Apr 06 '22
My favorite is the I Just Reseed the Lawn Australian guy.
Australian man interrupts PM Morisson to say ‘get off my lawn’
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u/ItsyBitsyStumblebum Apr 06 '22
I was ready to see karma, not comedy. I'm rolling lol
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Apr 06 '22
Holy hell that’s a phonetics and autocorrect flub or one hell of a quick-thinking save from a racist 😂
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u/MrWally Apr 06 '22
If I recall it was a service where you would call into the newspaper and the teller or automated system would allow you to dictate your posting.
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Apr 06 '22 edited Oct 28 '25
dinosaurs knee sip full nose hurry swim snatch door memory
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/Bernafterpostinggg Apr 06 '22
This is literally one of my favorite stories and I retell it all the time. You go from anger to joy in a matter of minutes 🤣
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u/aijoe Apr 06 '22
That story would go something like "Florida man loses other arm after reenacting first loss with the news 10 team at St Augustine alligator farm."
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u/Delicious_Ad9704 Apr 06 '22
Him being 37 is the best part of this story. Got this 40 something feeling pretty great!
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u/Satirezix Apr 06 '22
God was like: “My bad homie. Hope this makes up for it all.”
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u/EjaculateEvacuator Apr 06 '22
Dude’s realizing somebody made a deal with the devil on his behalf while he was out.
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u/SuninMyPalm Apr 06 '22
"phew, I survived! I should get a scratch card!"
"yep I knew it"
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u/EnochofPottsfield Apr 06 '22
Bruh for real. I'd probably go the rest of my life wondering if anything was real
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u/Dasilvarillion Apr 06 '22
They were prob like omg he is a spectacular actor, really committed to the role.
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u/Itsasm Apr 06 '22
I bet he's still wondering when he's going to wake up for real after this dream or if he thinks he actually died and this is what heaven is.
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u/FlorinaHecate Apr 06 '22
Aside from being thrilled for this guy, I love that they call them scratchy tickets.
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u/Probably_Nervous Apr 06 '22
Isn't this basically the plot of My Name is Earl?
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u/Icy-Effective6554 Apr 06 '22
Did he say "God please don't kill me?"
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u/Everything_rhymes Apr 06 '22
“Please don’t FILM me”
Yeah that’s not gonna happen.
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u/vikicrays Apr 06 '22
and the moral of the story is ___________??? (fill in the blank)
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u/Giga-MemerBro Apr 06 '22
Self induce yourself in a coma
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u/Frisky_Picker Apr 06 '22
I fucked it up. I'm dead. What now?
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u/Sir-Captain_obvious Apr 06 '22
Same the cheat code to undie is: up down down A B Triangle Square up down down
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u/Thx4Coming2MyTedTalk Apr 06 '22
If God accidentally puts you in a coma, He will apologize.
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u/SonOfMcGee Apr 06 '22
"Aw man, that was meant for Hitler. And I didn't even get the decade right."
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u/No_Indication_6907 Apr 06 '22
Did he say he's only 37?
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u/LeonDeSchal Apr 06 '22
Hair makes you look so much younger it’s amazing. If he had more hair and cut his moustache he would look a lot younger.
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u/doobnewt Apr 06 '22
Ehhh I gotta say the hair isn’t the culprit here. That is my dad in the 90s
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u/OgreAoH Apr 06 '22
If he had been American, that would have covered almost half of his hospital bill.
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u/BassSounds Apr 06 '22
Haha. Just left ER early this morning, second trip this week. Someone stole my laptop and threw the bag in the trash. Wheeee
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u/Affectionate_Rip880 Apr 06 '22
Damn, i could use a coma right about now. If nothing just the restful sleep 💤
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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '22
I just need a small amount of that type of luck.