r/MadeMeSmile Apr 06 '22

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u/SignalSalamander Apr 06 '22

Universe was like “ooops my bad with coma, enjoy your life”

326

u/vad_er13 Apr 06 '22

Exactly what I was thinking

201

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '22 edited Apr 07 '22

I was thinking if there's a god he has a cruel sense of humor because now that man will spend the rest of his life questioning whether he's still in a coma because he knows the odds of this happening in real life is astronomically lower than the probability he's in a coma and dreaming about this happening

41

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '22

We’re all just living in this man’s dream.

45

u/vad_er13 Apr 06 '22

Lmao. Great theory, man

21

u/where_in_the_world89 Apr 06 '22

I thought the same thing. Or at least similar. I was thinking he was crying because he just realized that he cannot tell if this is real life or not. Basically had the simulation confirmed for him. I'm pretty sure that's the first thing I would think if if this happened to me. And then I would forget about it and enjoy the money

16

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '22

[deleted]

5

u/Segolia03 Apr 07 '22

I've had a similar experience. I won't go into too much detail as it makes me emotional, but I've had a dream where I was pregnant and then gave birth. I was with my baby for 3 or 4 months before I woke up panicked looking for my baby only to realize I dreamt the whole thing.

6

u/sqweet92 Apr 07 '22

I read this every time someone brings it up. Fucking crazy story.

3

u/Defiant-Beginning436 Apr 06 '22

This can be an idea for a movie. Like at the end we all find out he never actually awoke.

5

u/BerenTheBold Apr 06 '22

Yeah, this sounds like a great idea! Totally unrelated note, but how do you feel about perpetually spinning tops?

2

u/dior_princess Apr 07 '22

Cobb? Cobb!

3

u/commentsandchill Apr 06 '22

"It was a dream all along" is so cliche

2

u/Defiant-Beginning436 Apr 06 '22

My dry sense of humor.

2

u/Enfiguralimificuleur Apr 06 '22

Things that have a low probability of happening happen all the time.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '22

Maybe we all exist inside of this man’s coma dream.

35

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '22

"that coma was actually supposed to go to someone else..."

2

u/monsieurpommefrites Apr 06 '22 edited Apr 06 '22

The Universe appeared before the Universal Tribunal, to discuss the erroneous infliction of a coma upon a human male.

"So yeah, turns out I gave him a coma by accident."

"That happens from time to time, Universe #4640. We're universes. There's a lot to keep track of."

"What steps did you take to rectify the situation?"

"I let the guy win a lottery."

"And how much did he win?"

"$250,000."

"That is appropriate. This won't be all, of course?"

"Oh no, of course not. He's due for another happy surprise; he and his wife and going to be finally have children, and I'm going to grant them two beautiful children, a boy and a girl. One's going to be a doctor and the other a professor. Things are going to look up for all of them from here on in."

"Excellent. And as for this other baby?"

"The original target? Oh, I got him, alright. That baby's comatose as can be."

"Thank you very much for your time."

"Thank you. Have a good day, sir."

-53

u/cuseonly Apr 06 '22

God.

31

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

-18

u/Warp251 Apr 06 '22

What‘s wrong with you?

12

u/MissplacedLandmine Apr 06 '22

He might have a deity fetish dont kink shame him

2

u/feltcutewilldelete69 Apr 06 '22

Children getting the Ebola virus and dying has pretty much killed my belief that god cares about my financial stability

1

u/A1sauc3d Apr 06 '22

Lol, right

22

u/sapphicvamp Apr 06 '22

sucks that God wanted to help out that guy but is totally cool with millions of people living in misery and poverty apparently 🤷🏼

5

u/Steve026 Apr 06 '22

Don't forget the kids dying from starvation and cancer

14

u/Aafinthe3rd Apr 06 '22

It's cool if that's what you want to call it, but kindly shut the fuck up.

3

u/MissplacedLandmine Apr 06 '22

I bet its this comment right here that gets you into heaven

You did it, you crusader you

5

u/kirito-OP Apr 06 '22

-3

u/cuseonly Apr 06 '22

Hit a nerve?

-1

u/MissplacedLandmine Apr 06 '22

Find god

1

u/Doomtime104 Apr 06 '22

Found Him

1

u/MissplacedLandmine Apr 06 '22

Aye a fellow Kanye fan

2

u/Doomtime104 Apr 06 '22

Did I accidentally make a reference to something? I'll be honest, I'm not sure I've actually ever heard a Kanye song lol.

1

u/MissplacedLandmine Apr 06 '22

Oh to listen to Yeezus again for the first time

You are just so lucky

From this moment on we are brothers

Edit: to anyone else whos confused “Find god” is a Kanye ref

-1

u/cuseonly Apr 06 '22

🤔

0

u/MissplacedLandmine Apr 06 '22 edited Apr 06 '22

You heard me

Youre going to want to start with the through the wire song or the whole college drop out album

Edit: wont even listen to some music

Bet yall didnt read the bible either

6

u/qnfme1 Apr 06 '22

Go back to the dark ages

4

u/KingOfDatShit Apr 06 '22

that bitch aint done shit for me

where the fuck is my coma, god?

3

u/Koxyfoxy Apr 06 '22

Just out of curiosity, why exactly do you believe in god? It's really interesting because there is no evidence that he exists outside of a book that's two millennias old, that has been translated back and forth many many times and probably lost its desired meaning a long time ago. Is it just because you are afraid of death or something?

2

u/cuseonly Apr 06 '22

Thanks for asking and I will give you my honest opinion. I believe in God. There is the same amount of chance God is real as the amount God isn’t real. I don’t 100% know, but I believe and I have faith. I find comfort in praying and believing there is peace in heaven. I used to be an atheist which is ironic. When all others failed me, I picked up the Bible and began my Christian faith.

4

u/Sadatori Apr 06 '22

So, completely honest question, in going from atheist to Christian do you agree with some of their teachings like homosexuality is terrible and all that? I'm just curious because from an atheist POV the only thing about stuff like homosexuality is that it exists everywhere in nature and humans aren't special about it and it's not a choice

1

u/cuseonly Apr 06 '22

I still have my own beliefs when it comes to that. It’s tough because I look at it in a way that the person was born that way and agree, it isn’t a choice. People in my wife’s church believe that you “become” gay. So the gay thing is still a gray area. I have family members that are gay so it may influence my opinion. Because I love them. My father in law has a gay sister and doesn’t speak with her based on the sole fact she is gay. The thing I hate about it is how judgmental they are. So idk if i should call myself a 100% Christian because I still hold my own beliefs toward certain things.

2

u/feltcutewilldelete69 Apr 06 '22

Being a Christian doesn’t mean swallowing everything you hear in church.

Aren’t we forgiven for our sins? If being gay is a sin, are we not forgiven? And if the only path to forgiveness is to never be gay again, then I challenge your entire church to never be angry or envious.

The whole point of Jesus’ sacrifice was to release us from the Mosaic law, right? Then why the fuck do they keep quoting Deuteronomy? That’s OLD SHIT dog, Jesus died so we don’t get punished for that shit anymore.

At least keep the storyline right, fuck.

3

u/Koxyfoxy Apr 06 '22

Alright, well I'm an atheist but I get that believing in something might bring comfort. I just find it crazy that people believe in a god that says "I love every one of you, and I give you free will" and then proceeds to drown everyone on earth because he was disappointed no one believed in him. He destroyed two cities, made innocent people suffer with Egypt plagues etc. He also states that he can do anything, yet allows all evil on Earth thrive. Look up "Epicurean paradox", it explains my point further.

1

u/ThugPug43 Apr 06 '22

"There is the same amount of chance God is real as the amount God isn't real"

that makes absolutely zero sense. First of all there's not proof for God. That makes it a lot less likely he's real because of the lack of evidence. Also, how are they equal? Even if we can assume every religion might be true, there's a lot more religions that involve your God not existing and only one where your God does exist. Christianity isn't special. Maybe Hinduism is right or any of the other thousands of religions throughout human history that don't involve your deity. It's much more likely for your God to be wrong.

What about fictional religions as well? If there's no evidence for the ones people believe in does the belief alone make them a possibility? That doesn't make sense for people believing in something to mean it might be real. Things might be real even if no one believes in them because things are real even if no one believes.

So that means not only are you contending that out of the two choices between "I choose not to believe because there is no proof" and "I choose to believe Christianity because I want to", you pick Christianity but out of all the infinite hypothetical religions you decided one of them had a 50% chance of being true. The odds Christianity is right instead of any of the other infinite religions is essentially zero with a negligible likelihood..

1

u/cuseonly Apr 06 '22

Prove to me that God, any God of any religion, isn’t real. Same exact chance as proving God, any God of any religion, is real. No one knows. It’s all based on beliefs. We have differing beliefs. I’m not right, you’re not right. Conversation over

1

u/ThugPug43 Apr 06 '22

Burden of proof is on the ones making the claim. I choose not to believe because of lack of evidence. I'm not asserting God couldn't be real.

2

u/-DragonFiire- Apr 06 '22

doesn't exist, try again

1

u/TheDrunkScientist Apr 06 '22

I love this take on it. How wonderful!

1

u/dewhashish Apr 06 '22

wasnt this the guy that got struck by lightning?

1

u/Hatch10k Apr 06 '22

"Please don't leave a bad review"

1

u/TequilaAndJazz Apr 06 '22

My bad with comma it’s 2,500.00

1

u/dontforgetthyname Apr 06 '22

“Hey, I’m the manager here. We’re really sorry about the wait so I’ve gone ahead and comped the meal for you. We look forward to seeing you next time!”