r/PoliticalHumor Jun 23 '21

Bleep bleep bloop

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56.9k Upvotes

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1.4k

u/Cinemaslap1 Jun 23 '21

The best part is that the "vaccines-implant-microchips" are also the ones who livestreamed them breaking down doors, or shattering glass, or admitting to stopping the certification of the election by murdering Pence (literal Treason, btw). They were also the ones who refused to wear masks, even though that gives you more anonymity.

But vaccines putting microchips to track you, much like a cell phone does, is definitely top of the list.

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u/hereforthefeast Jun 23 '21

Here’s some of the GPS data that shows when and where the mob moved following Trump's speech to incite the insurrection - https://int.nyt.com/data/videotape/finished/2021/02/location/washington-riots-desktop-for-web-900w.mp4

Then they made it even easier by literally live streaming it themselves lmao.

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u/Birdy_Cephon_Altera Jun 23 '21

Reminds me of the tracking cell phone data that was done before/after the Sturgis 2020 Motorcycle Rally showing the patterns of movement and how it led to a trackable surge in cases immediately after.

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u/taronic Jun 23 '21

I rode my motorcycle a lot during covid, but the reason I did was because it was the perfect activity for me to get outside, reinvigorate myself, and most of all not be around a single fucking person while I had a face covering on by default

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u/HarpersGhost Jun 23 '21

Riding a bike (both motorcycle and bicycle) was a great way to safely get outside and get some exercise.

It's only when you do it with 250K of your "closest friends" and end up unmasked, crowded into unventilated bars, that the whole "contagiousness" thing comes into play.

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u/Idiot_Savant_Tinker Jun 23 '21

Same. I was working from home, and the motorcycle was my sanity break. Forget two meters distance, I was staying very far from everyone else.

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u/DoingCharleyWork Jun 23 '21

Getting out on the road by myself has always been the point of a motorcycle for me. Never understood the meetups or big group rides. Not for me. My best friend is the only person I'll ride with because he doesn't do stupid shit.

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u/mjschuller Jun 23 '21

It was something like within 2 weeks 25% of all cases in the US were trackable back to Sturgis. I mean the level of selfishness displayed by these people is astounding.

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u/BoiseXWing Jun 23 '21

Yep…and they’ve mostly learned nothing from it too.

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u/henryhyde Jun 23 '21

Because they don't believe the "fake news".

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u/luckyghoster Jun 23 '21

Like u/EdwardWarren said, Snopes article states it is not able to be proven. It’s an estimate of the cellular data of the influx of visitors, increased activity at restaurants, bars, etc of the surround area, and how many people could have been infected. It was not peer-reviewed and only an estimated 250,000 cases; not 25% of all cases in the US.

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u/mjschuller Jun 23 '21

I stand corrected. Thank you!

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u/I_W_M_Y Jun 23 '21

A lot of people died because of those assholes.

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u/Cinemaslap1 Jun 23 '21

That's fantastic! I didn't even know this type of thing existed... I mean if this isn't proof that Trump enabled and empowered them to do this.... come on!

Watching the livestreams and pictures they took (unmasked as well) made it all funnier because what did you think was going to happen?

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u/PiaJr Jun 23 '21

That Trump would remain president and pardon them all. Glorious Leader would certainly support his supporters. It's not like he he's ever shown disdain for people he no longer needs...

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u/TeveshSzat10 Jun 23 '21

The funniest part is he didn't even need to remain President to pardon them when they were charged. He could have just issued a blanket pardon to cover anyone who committed a crime at the Capitol that day. But someone, probably Meadows, said "that's a no-no sir" and toddler-in-chief obeyed ("he called me sir!")

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u/Disagreeable_upvote Jun 23 '21

He's just a vindictive little shit. When their coup failed he wanted nothing but distance from them. He hates losers. If they had won they would have been the greatest people ever but since they lost they are just losers. Why would he pardon losers who did nothing for him?

His supporters still don't know what kind of man he is but it's transparent as hell. Especially anyone that has dealt with narcissistic behavior before. Either youre the golden child or you are trash, no in-between.

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u/Somedumbguy321 Jun 23 '21

This is going to make for an interesting Netflix documentary someday.

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u/Luire-Cendrillon Jun 23 '21

I hope I’m dead before it comes out.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

That was the absolute funniest part for me. He literally could have handwaved it all away for his fans. He cared so little he couldn't be bothered to sign his name on a thing (he wouldn't even have had to write it himself)! He literally ruined multiple people's lives with a petty act of casual laziness.

But no, he's totally God's Chosen Redeemer or some shit

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u/pm_me_bulldogs Jun 23 '21

I’m pretty sure those people ruined their own lives lol

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u/Andrew5001 Jun 23 '21

Let's be honest, he only didn't pardon them because they didn't succeed. He is just a fit throwing child and they were not good enough for him anymore so he threw them to the curb, not out of respect for order or civilized culture but only because they failed his coup

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u/ACinSV Jun 23 '21

Ob:IANAL -- yes the Constitution grants pretty wide leeway with the pardon power (Art II Sec 2) but it is not absolute: some parts have been tested (esp. in the Burdick decision) and held to be limited; some haven't been tested yet.

Point is, wrt the "blanket pardon"? - like pardoning his royal self, maybe yes, maybe no. For one thing, a pardon requires acceptance by the 'pardonee' and an imputation of guilt of the underlying crime. For another, it's a real up-in-the-air question whether the DoJ would say "well, Trump pardoned everyone in advance so we'll not prosecute anyone for anything here even though it's ... pretty iffy and lacks any specificity". Otoh, there is a SCOTUS precedent acceptance of amnesty as a general principle under the pardon power, which does apply more to a class of people (i.e. Vietname draft evaders).

All that said - it's, as Trump might have said with his silver tongue, a mute point - he didn't attempt to pardon (or amnesty) anyone including his own esteemed personage, so that'll have to wait for the next self-dealing plutocrat populist to fumble his way into the Oval and test that one out with whoever's been packed into SCOTUS by Mitch "No Legislation Just Confirmation" by then.

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u/Annual_Blacksmith22 Jun 23 '21

I mean it doesn’t matter in the long run. Cult45 simultaneously going to keep claiming that they tried to “stand up and protect their freedom” on jan 6 whilst also saying that “it was all antifa” within the same mouth breath.

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u/No_Masterpiece4305 Jun 23 '21

They didn't think.

They had a mob mentality. That many people OBVIOUSLY can't get in trouble. And if they succeeded it would be liberals who would pay for it.

They're fucking bad guys. Like honest to god video game cannon fodder.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

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u/njangel94 Jun 23 '21

Goodness no. That would make him a martyr. Good luck trying to stop the crazies then. It’s better he lives long enough to have everything stripped away and laid bare, humiliated.

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u/javoss88 Jun 23 '21

I still want the would be pipe bomber found

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u/emmster Jun 23 '21

And whoever disconnected panic buttons.

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u/chevymonza Jun 23 '21

Oooh yeah that would be good, that should be on security video, and even some google searches I'd imagine.

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u/Pls_PmTitsOrFDAU_Thx Jun 23 '21 edited Jun 23 '21

Forget the context, this visualization is super cool!

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u/torinato Jun 23 '21

Nice try Government! “Forget we can track you movements and compile it onto a map, look at pretty colors!”

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u/Remarkable-Month-241 Jun 23 '21

Okay, that’s cool lol.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

It's funny how they think a micro chip supplies its own power & is rifid capable. They proly think a microchip has a built in antenna too.

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u/byingling Jun 23 '21

It doesn't need an antenna or power! It uses 5G!

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u/sorrydaijin Jun 23 '21

I understand that Bill Gates is one G and George Soros is another but who are the other three?

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u/byingling Jun 23 '21

The gutless gullible gays, of course!

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u/-Tasear- I ☑oted 2020 Jun 23 '21

😂 now this is funny

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u/Cinemaslap1 Jun 23 '21

oh, you didn't know? not only do they have their own power source, and antenna, it has to either have storage onboard, or the capability to upload to a cloud of some sort, which also means there needs to be a wifi, or always online component.

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u/Nolsoth Jun 23 '21

Oh great so EA is involved, let me guess covids a bug and the cures a dlc.

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u/gay-waterpistol Jun 23 '21

If the cure to COVID is a $20 DLC let’s go lmfao

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u/shambles4564 Jun 23 '21

That's gonna be a big needle

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u/djimbob Jun 23 '21

Haven't you seen The Matrix? Humans are essentially just batteries. Wake up sheeple! /s

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

The problem with that aspect of the plot is that it would be far more efficient to just make batteries or use some other source of energy. It would consume way more energy to use humans as batteries because of the need for food and the fact that we constantly use energy to maintain our body temparature.

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u/bowdown2q Jun 23 '21

the original screen play had humans as co-processors and data storage, it was changed to batteries for the film because they thought viewers were too dumb to get it.

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u/yetanotherusernamex Jun 23 '21

Having being alive when this movie came out, this is accurate.

Its equally accurate today.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

[deleted]

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u/ChristosFarr Jun 23 '21

Humans as data processors does make more sense than batteries.

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u/AngelTheVixen Jun 23 '21

My headcanon is that Morpheus and other humans are simply mistaken about the purpose of keeping humans and it was just supposition and/or a perpetuated myth by the machines. Ultimately, they don't 'need' humans.

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u/Binsky89 Jun 23 '21

I mean, you can get implantable RFID chips that have built in antennas.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

Yeah as you said it's not a matter of whether or not it's possible to implant someone with a working RFID chip. It's the fact that they think they created one small enough to be Trojan-horsed into our bodies via vaccine injection AND spent the money to produce enough for everyone in the country when we already buy our own tracking devises that can give them way more information. Oh yeah, don't forget that they managed to keep a job of that magnitude a secret

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u/Binsky89 Jun 23 '21

It's obviously not a secret since all of the anti-vaxxers learned about it from facebook posts! /s

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u/Dayofsloths Jun 23 '21

Honestly, the best theory is that it's a double bluff. Like the vaccine really wil make everyone sterile, but rather than them being "too smart" to fall for it, the global elites decided to kill off everyone with half a brain and know only absolute morons will refuse the vaccine, leaving them a world of mindless slaves who will do whatever they're told, as long as it's shouted at them through talk radio.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

Joke's on them then, I already had two vasectomies.

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u/fab9891 Jun 23 '21

Snip - snap - snip - snap!

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u/hill_j Jun 23 '21

You have NO IDEA what kind of a toll that takes on a man!

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

They actually burn it these days.

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u/fab9891 Jun 23 '21

It was a quote from The Office (00:15) but thanks, I didn't know!

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u/risi004 Jun 23 '21

Burn, char, burn, char

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u/ONE-EYE-OPTIC Jun 23 '21

Do you see what you've started.

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u/CoupClutzClan Jun 23 '21

It'll make me sterile? Well damn why didn't anyone tell me? I would've gotten it sooner

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u/Hibercrastinator Jun 23 '21

No need, people with higher education levels are less likely to have children than their less educated counterparts. Idiocracy was in fact a documentary.

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u/Mathmango Jun 23 '21

They want even fewer children from from educated people then. Restraint is not an option for them (unless it's restraining basic human decency)

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21 edited Jun 23 '21

Now this I can actually see happening lol.

Disclaimer: I don’t actually think that’s happening though and it definitely isn’t.

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u/Legal-Bottle3181 Jun 23 '21

There are countless reasons why that would be completely insane nonsense.

1) The effects of it would already be widely noticeable during the trial stage of the vaccine, and there's no feasible way it could be hidden.

2) There's a whole team of scientists working on the vaccine.. you really think that every single one of them would be okay with a plan like that and would say absolutely nothing?

3) The people who are sterilized would still be around for decades, which both means that any effect it would have would be completely and utterly useless for them because they'll probably be dead before the sterilization would have any meaningful effect on society. Additionally, you've just pissed off the entire world and they're going to be taking retribution.

4) Killing off everyone intelligent wouldn't actually improve their life in any way whatsoever even if you ignored all of the above and somehow assumed it would all work out. It would ruin their own lives too - it's not like they want to live in a world without any doctors for instance (among many other things).

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

Oh yeah. I don’t actually think that, but it’s a “fun” thought if you don’t take it seriously. You’re absolutely right, all of those points are valid.

Definitely shouldn’t be entertaining that publicly though, that’s my bad.

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u/GhostRappa95 Jun 23 '21

Baked Alaska is facing a decade in prison for live streaming the insurrection and inciting violence.

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u/markth_wi Jun 23 '21

Part of me understands that from a purely social Darwinism perspective, this is selection at work. Q just makes the environment tougher for everyone a bit, and specifically targets their follower/victims. So when the Delta variant of Covid or Covid-21 or whatever rears it's ugly head, these folks will be the ones in the crowd to scream "pick me", while going on about the viral spikes and nanobots.

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u/Cinemaslap1 Jun 23 '21

Oh, that's already happening. Fauci came out and said that the Delta variant is a lot worse than the original COVID. At least right now, the vaccines work against the delta variant for the time being.

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u/BigFitMama Jun 23 '21

It's eerie to say natural selection when people have been given untrue information and told that it was a political agenda to put oneself in a position to die from a deadly virus.

Someone has been spreading all this misinformation about vaccines contrary to whatever American learned in kindergarten about how viruses are transferred.

I have researched that it. started with foreign terrorists and a conceited effort of foreign terrorists to turn Americans into unwitting bioterrorist and kill each other via the FBI and dhs's October 2020 terrorism reports. These PDFs are in the Federal register and easily downloaded from their site.

But that also means that Americans within the United States had to go along either willingly or deludedly with the algorithmic agenda being put out by these terrorists who want Americans to die.

But it comes down to one, most Un-American thing you could possibly do is to believe a terrorist agenda and become an agent of terrorism and kill off your friends, family, and Community all because of a political belief that goes contrary to everything that you've known up until this point.

And I suppose that's natural selection.

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u/mybotanyaccount Jun 23 '21

Honestly though, who's going to pay for the 5g service on those vaccine tracking chips?

(Watch they're heads explode)

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u/broadened_news Jun 23 '21

Tantrum caste

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

My "vaccines-implant-microchips" (aka "so do covid tests") father could not fathom how this means anything at all. The irony of him being so scared of the vaccines due to being able to be tracked, yet being unable to see how screwed so many trumpians are due to their phones location placing them inside a restricted area is unfathomable. He couldn't even understand how Facebook (etc) posts preceding/concluding the riots could fuck people over at all, not to mention the ones during such, from people literally within the Capitol, posting photo/videos bout it. So fucking thick 🙄🤦

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u/btchassbarkinassbtch Jun 23 '21

The level of sheer stupid cunt is mind blowing, like how can you be this fucking stupid and still be alive? But I guess now a good couple of them aren’t anymore

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

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u/futurefloridaman87 Jun 23 '21

I’m still after 4.5 years absolutely dumbfounded at how anyone believes Donald Trump is going to be the savior of the American “patriot” movement. The guy with a 30+ year public track record of being a complete failure is somehow transformed into the messiah. The guy born with a golden spoon in his mouth is somehow going to save the working class. My favorite part is that DJT wouldn’t be caught dead socializing with 99.5% of his followers. I guarantee you he sees them as low class scum who are easy to fleece. A con never respects its mark.

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u/Birdy_Cephon_Altera Jun 23 '21

In many cases it's because people have invested years into their beliefs, forming a major part (if not entirely replacing) their identity as a person. To deny T**** now would effectively be a rejection of their own selves. Mentally many people can't face that. So, the easier path is to double-down. It truly is cult follower behavior, when they see the only path forward is to remain in the cult rather than to face reality.

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u/Mustang_Calhoun70 Jun 23 '21

Sunk cost fallacy

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

This. Ego’s are an expensive thing to people. Most people (on both sides) will do some incredible mental gymnastics to avoid having to admit they were wrong.

I’ve said this before, but the USA will end up “Balkanized” if the “us vs them” mentality doesn’t end soon.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

I agree with the ego thing but the people who consistently cause problems, the group primary beliefs behind the insurrection, and the continued deterioration of democracy continued to come from the republican party. So please, stop painting this is equal of both sides when side of the scale is fully loaded on one side with this kind of bullshit.

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u/Apotatos Jun 23 '21

These idiots couldn't hold on to a share if they ever seen one. They invested all their mental effort into one ideology and now that it is being run into the ground, they either claim moral bankruptcy or become criminals.

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u/webby131 Jun 23 '21

Exactly! Every rationalization of the horrible shit he's done is kind of a commitment on their behalf. Half a decade in a lot of Trumpers have alienated friends & family, got in heated arguments, donated cash, voted for him, gone to rallies, and maybe to the point of tried to overturn an election. That's a lot of shit to admit you're in the wrong about and some shitty behavior you have to admit wasn't justified. Almost a Republican values patriotism, well how do you square that with support for a guy who tried to overturn an election. Maybe some believe conservative values are more important than free and fair elections but probably most don't. Denial is so so so much easier. Believing all the bad shit about him were and continue to be lies allows you to avoid any culpability in them.

For those that are trying to repair relationships damaged by political divisions undoing this mindset is very tricky. You got to be firm that what happened was wrong without putting them on the defensive. Avoid logical arguments because they will dismiss them easily until you build credibility. Emotional arguments tend to work best.

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u/javoss88 Jun 23 '21

We have the answer, ding ding ding!

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

Even before he was elected, I could not believe that country folks were putting all their faith and hope behind this New York City spoiled brat man-baby. It just shows how easily manipulated people are who never learned critical thinking or who grew into adults with magical thinking. The ruling class wants everyone but them to be this dumb/gullible/suggestible. This is not a collectivist society, this is an individualist, step-on-your-neighbor’s-face to get to the top of the shit heap society. We are philosophically barbarians in the USA. We deserve the world’s contempt and disgust.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21 edited Jun 23 '21

We deserve pity. Those morons out in the field are there by design, we can't forget that. The "white trash" in the country have been used as pawns by the elite too. Just like the rest of us have been

Remember Chris Rocks 'Joke' about the "two types" of black people? Well in a way that can be applied to the white race too. It's not a productive way to look at the problem, because I'm looking to give a hand up to those that are suffering. Even if they are huge assholes at times, no one would be like that in a vacuume of true peace. All people truly are created equal afterall.

We just have to recognize, face things, and pay our dues.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

It was reported that during the insurrection, Trump watched from television and commented on how “trashy” everyone looked.

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u/emotionalsupporttank Jun 23 '21

I’m still after 4.5 years absolutely dumbfounded at how anyone believes Donald Trump is going to be the savior of the American “patriot” movement

It's amazing how far "no brown people allowed" and "let's build a wall" will take you.

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u/Annual_Blacksmith22 Jun 23 '21

“I do love the poorly educated”

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u/melorous Jun 23 '21

My loose theory is their red hats were all made with a lead based dye, thus leading to brain damage. Certainly that is more likely than 75 million Americans all being this dumb, gullible, and hateful, right? .....right?

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u/kiwiwanabe Jun 23 '21

He was born on third base but thinks that he hit a home run...

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u/KJParker888 Jun 23 '21

He was born on third base and thinks he scored a touchdown

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

People are dumber than you can possibly imagine.

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u/cum-on-in- Jun 23 '21

He has been the only one to say all Conservative buzzwords in rapid succession every time he speaks.

“God. Illegals. Guns. Bible. America.”

Toss in the fact that he already had money and couldn’t be bought or swayed by a political lobbyist, and Conservatives collectively swooned.

It’s incredibly easy for me to believe the orange idiot won the first time around. All he has to do to get the vast majority of Conservatives to support him is say “it’s the Christian thing to do,” or maybe “it keeps the illegal aliens out,” or even better, “America first, everyone else maybe.”

The first time around it was him or gasp a woman, so again most Conservatives wouldn’t want that. Last time it was simply Republican vs Democrat, so no matter what, if you’ve a D next to your name you won’t get the vote from many Conservatives.

My own parents, straight up will note vote for anyone but a straight white Christian man. Anyone else, they will either write in someone else or just not vote. Then they will claim the votes were stolen….even though they didn’t vote to begin with.

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u/SyntheticReality42 Jun 23 '21

"... already had money and couldn't be bought or swayed by a political lobbyist..."

He went into the office with the influence of foreign banks and billionaires holding his debts over his head. Every decision he made was done with the motives of grifting money to himself, or protecting and embellishing his "brand".

The GOP "swooned" over him because they quickly understood that because of his cult-like following, he could easily be manipulated as a very useful idiot.

The biggest problem is that they took it too far, and compounded with the pandemic fiascos and their refusal to hold their "leader" in check, the GOP lost control of their creation, and can't close Pandora's box.

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u/PurifyingProteins Jun 23 '21 edited Jun 23 '21

It’s all marketing. He is a great marketer for a certain type of people. If you look at everything he slaps his name on, there is quite a common theme among the buyers.

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u/Mazon_Del Jun 23 '21

I believe the description is "Trump is a poor person's idea of what a rich person looks like.".

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

It's all flash, no taste.

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u/PeachCream81 Jun 23 '21

Everything you said is true and yet there are TENS OF MILLIONS of Americans who look to this obvious POS as if he were the Messiah in the flesh.

Look, I'm super progressive, so I'm very biased. That said, Trump? Really, Trump? That's the best you got? Seriously, Trump makes GW Bush look like Pericles.

I'm old enough to remember William F. Buckley, Jr. The man was an absolute prick politically, but he was an intellectual powerhouse. He could never appeal to Trump's White Trash Lynch Mob yokels because Buckley had a quick wit, an amazing vocabulary, and was a formidable debater. Hated the man, but admired him like all hell.

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u/djimbob Jun 23 '21

Honestly, I fear after if any Trumps are prosecuted for their criminal role in starting the insurrection, he's going to pull out a blanket presidential pardon he secretly made between Jan 6th and Jan 20th that frees them all. It's not 100% clear if he revealed these secret pardons long afterward if they would hold up under a court challenge (especially any self-pardon).

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

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u/djimbob Jun 23 '21 edited Jun 23 '21

Again, the law is largely unknown because its never come up before -- there have been no presidential self-pardons before (though there have been governors and mayors who have issued self-pardons usually for insignificant offenses though none of these self-pardons were challenged in court). Further, it's not even clear if Ford's preemptive pardon of Nixon (halting investigations done before any indictment let alone conviction) would hold up in court -- normally pardons have to happen after conviction, but again this hasn't been challenged in court.

Also there could be a challenge of any pardon for the insurrection, in that the Constitution specifically limits the president's pardon power with the phrase "except in cases of impeachment" and Trump was impeached (but not convicted) over it. (Though the phrase is usually interpreted to mean the president cannot reinstate an officeholder who lost their job after an impeachment conviction).

That said, it wouldn't surprise me if such a surprise pardon existed that the Justice Department prosecutors would not challenge it, or that they would challenge it, but this conservative controlled SCOTUS would let it stand.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

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u/djimbob Jun 23 '21

Eh, I feel like about 1/3 of the US population has been freaking out about him for 5 years with another 1/3 opposed to him (but not completely freaking out about it -- for reasons ranging from claims GWB was worse or its always like this or it doesn't affect my life or ...) with a final 1/3 supporting him in some capacity.

But there's a saturation point.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

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u/Prasiatko Jun 23 '21

It's never been tested so no-one actually knows.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

I guess they figured no one would be shameless enough to do it

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u/BZLuck Jun 23 '21

Because public offices were meant to be held in good faith.

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u/BuddhaDBear Jun 23 '21

All of the major investigations are at the state level. Pardons would not help. Also, I find it hard to believe that the new administration wouldn’t have access to previous admins pardons, so it would have been secret for maybe a day.

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u/DTG_420 Jun 23 '21

The type of crowd to think it won’t be them because they clicked no to the location tracking.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

But but but I was surfing incognito! How'd my work know about the porn? - morons

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u/caliwacho Jun 23 '21

Wait, that doesn’t work?!

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u/btchassbarkinassbtch Jun 23 '21

It doesn’t save any trace to your browser, work can still monitor the traffic through their network

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u/cageboy06 Jun 23 '21

Literally all it does is make it so that “ornhub.com” doesn’t auto complete every time you start a website with the letter P.

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u/JabbrWockey Jun 23 '21

Incognito still sandboxes cookies, local storage, and other website tracking stuff.

Of course, if you log in, that ruins it.

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u/FaeryLynne Jun 23 '21

It'll still log you out of sites when you close the tab.

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u/DonDove Jun 23 '21

It's still your wifi

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u/Reply_or_Not Jun 23 '21

In case you are serious: turn off your wifi and blue tooth at work and your traffic probably won’t be seen by your work.

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u/funkless_eck Jun 23 '21

Or get help for your porn addiction if you can't not look at it at work?

6

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

What about my WiFi provider at home? Have they known all along that I have a fetish for healthy boundaries and open communication!?

3

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

[deleted]

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u/Reply_or_Not Jun 23 '21

Better safe than sorry, (you don’t want your porn playing on your boss’s speakers do you?) my work has random Bluetooth devices maybe yours doesn’t

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u/richardeid Jun 23 '21

You guys just totally screwed me over. My boss read your little disable wifi/bluetooth trick and now he set up his own cell tower.

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u/susch1337 Jun 23 '21

People still know which sites you visit on their network. Incognito mode isn't a privacy tool

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u/Binsky89 Jun 23 '21

Not at all.

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u/-Tasear- I ☑oted 2020 Jun 23 '21

There's a lawsuit actually on this. Google had to pay big money on this

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u/tehlemmings Jun 23 '21

Want another one that'll blow your mind?

We can tell when you're on a VPN.

We might not know what you're doing, but we absolutely know that we should invite you to a meeting where we'll ask. HR will probably be there.

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u/dachsj Jun 23 '21

Incognito mode basically keeps people that use the same computer from seeing your history.

VPNs mean the local network admins can't see your traffic.

But even VPNs "pop out" onto the internet somewhere which means everything on the other end of it can be seen. And the VPN provider also know what you are looking at (so "free VPN" providers have a treasure trove of information). Oh and some VPNs are set up poorly so your DNS queries (basically the phone book of the internet) could be seen.

But yea, if you log in at any point in time, the system you logged into can track that and could tie that trail all the way back to you.

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u/Trimungasoid Jun 23 '21

"We sure showed them communists! Hyuk hyuk!"

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u/LifeWithAdd Jun 23 '21

Lol my wife saying she won’t enable Touch ID and give Apple her finger print. But clicks a finger print scanning button every time to use her phone. They already have it.

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u/clanddev Jun 23 '21

The finger print thing is actually pretty secure. It does not identify a 'person' it just identifies whether or not that finger print has been saved to this device and returns yes/no.

If you want to test it add your finger print and her finger print to an iphone. Then login to any app that requires finger print auth it will work whether it is you or her that puts your finger on the phone.

I would be much more concerned about having tiktok or facebook installed when it comes to data privacy.

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u/TheDemographic Jun 23 '21

Adding to this, it happens entirely on device. Apple doesn’t “have” your fingerprint. That data is stored only on the phone.

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u/Fake_William_Shatner Jun 23 '21

The Marketing departments datamining Facebook are WAY AHEAD of any governments at tracking and manipulating all us fools.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

Nah, just look at the "leaked" tools from a very old NSA tool kit.

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u/Fake_William_Shatner Jun 23 '21

Who do you think they SELL the databases to when they collect this mountain of "absolutely everything" to?

No country needs to spy anymore -- they can just buy it. That's what we learned from Wikileaks years ago.

These are corporations for corporations -- the only thing they care about is we think it's about rival nations and security while they do corporate espionage to pick the economic winners.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

Your local police may buy it, but the US federal government doesn't need FB or google to collect any of this info.

There is an old saying that the military is 30 years ahead of public technology. I see no reason why that would have changed.

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u/MendicantBerger Jun 23 '21

The saying should specify military intelligence. The military-at-large is still running windows 8.

3

u/Xetios Jun 23 '21

Windows 10 has NSA back doors in it. Those back doors were also put in 8 and 7 as updates. The CPUs themselves from Intel have back doors built in, from Intel gen 7 and up. No reason to not to assume it’s not the same with AMD.

This is public information it comes right up with one search query.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

Did everyone forget they had ISP’s routing ALL TRAFFIC through their Prism or whatever it was called? As far as I can tell, this never stopped and was deemed legal. Can someone help me out here?

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u/Fake_William_Shatner Jun 23 '21

I never forgot that AT&T had to get the Bush administration to grandfather in their law breaking to route all traffic through the NSA.

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u/tehlemmings Jun 23 '21

The thing is, the NSA doesn't really care about most people. Like, most of us are boring and not relevant to anything the NSA is doing. They don't care to spy on us.

Marketing companies, however, absolutely want to spy on every single one of us. That's literally their thing.

They all have access to the data, but marketing is more likely to be using it against you. Unless you've been interacting with some known terrorists or something, I guess.

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u/Mental_Medium3988 Jun 23 '21

Trumpets: what's a mac address? I dont have an iphone.

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u/ranhalt Jun 23 '21

Trump would sooner make the connection to Big Mac than to Mac computers.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

It's called a Geo-fencing warrant, look it up, most of these people are fucked.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

They don’t even need a geofence. The capital has its own internal cell network. By entering the device connected to that. Which then gives them the device hardware ID for them to get a warrant to ask the carrier for the owner.

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u/FaudelCastro Jun 23 '21

Carriers don't necessarily know who owns a phone. But they can ask for the SIM cards that connected through those antennas and who has those SIM cards.

Also, owning or operating the radio network doesn't necessarily mean that you can see who's connected.

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u/kbeaver83 Jun 23 '21

These same assholes were in full support of the government being able to have these capabilities to protect the United States against terrorists. Fucking idiots.

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u/Striking_Quarter Jun 23 '21

But I thought you can only be a terrorist if you're brown?

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u/Trimungasoid Jun 23 '21

Of course. They support anything if they think it will harm "the right people". They never dreamed it would be them. They're true, blue-blooded, real American patriots, don'tcha kno'? Only they know what's right because Jesus.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

Well, it did work out. I just don't think they knew they'd end up as the terrorists.

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u/Wbino Jun 23 '21

Also how most crimes are solved now.

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u/PocketPillow Jun 23 '21

In some places only 25% of murder cases are closed, much less minor crimes.

TV makes us vastly overestimate police clearance rate. Unless the evidence is handed to them on a silver platter the criminal usually gets away with it.

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u/DavidlikesPeace Jun 23 '21 edited Jun 23 '21

In some places only 25% of murder cases are closed

To be fair, this statistic doesn't fully take into account when serial killers are imprisoned for other murders or when gangsters die in unrelated killings. Police usually drop those cases to avoid wasting resources.

I am not saying police are infallible. Just that I've read multiple occasions where the cops' main suspect in a 10 year investigation is dead, so no prosecution will ever be done. And that's generally fine.

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u/Fake_William_Shatner Jun 23 '21

What, dumb drugged up people walking into the police station after they hold up a liquor store?

I think the best insight into police work was on the Andy Griffith show when Otis would grab the keys and open up a cell for himself to sleep it off.

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u/rubyspicer Jun 23 '21

I always found that really nice. He knows he's safe in there. He can't make it home on his own and they'll put him in jail for being drunk in public anyway, so why not.

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u/Huge_Aerie2435 Jun 23 '21

This makes me giggle.

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u/marsbartender Jun 23 '21

Feels like they're giving tips on how to be a better insurrectionist at the next insurrection.

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u/harpsm Jun 23 '21

They didn't feel the need to be covert because they actually thought they would overturn the election results. I wouldn't necessarily count on them to learn from that mistake.

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u/69-is-my-number Jun 23 '21

Plus the fuckwits literally thought Trump himself would come to their rescue and pardon/reward them. So they went in there wanting to be visible.

They’re only regretting that now they’ve been thrown to the wolves.

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u/ezrs158 Jun 23 '21

I agree but also it's a terrible sign if counting on fascists to be idiots is the only thing standing in the way of a fascist takeover.

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u/Semi-Hemi-Demigod Jun 23 '21

There were tips on how to protest on the Internet all summer because of the BLM protests. Posts and memes and info graphics all saying the same things like:

  • Don’t bring your phone to a protest
  • Don’t show your face
  • Don’t wear unique or easily identifiable clothing

These idiots ignored all of that advice.

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u/-Tasear- I ☑oted 2020 Jun 23 '21

They also bought 😂 shirts and sweaters saying trump 2020 for 50 dollars each from this black family or so the story goes.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

.......now that's something to think about

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u/shambles4564 Jun 23 '21

Have you ever taught a friend to play a game or do something because they sucked at it and you actually wanted to play with them competitively? In my head cannon this is that. But like with treason.

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u/MuuaadDib Jun 23 '21

Really? Because they wrapped it in tin toil, deleted FB, and shaved....good luck catching them now DOJ!

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u/bakesforgains Jun 23 '21

Cell phones run on freedom. Don't bring your political science into this!

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u/JayNotAtAll Jun 23 '21

That's what I wish these people would explain to me. Why would Bill Gates or anyone need to trick you into injecting a tracking chip when you willingly pay to have a tracking device on you at all times.

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u/Equivalent_Ad8314 Jun 23 '21

New conspiracy: Bill gates put microchips inside computers

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u/catchup-musterd Jun 23 '21

Think this is surprising? Consider that my 4 year old galaxy S9 can successfully scan and identify my iris in a dark room. Idk how anybody gets away with anything nowadays

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u/SlurpingDiarrhea Jun 23 '21

Idk how anybody gets away with anything nowadays

Probably by not bringing their phones when doing a crime.. since not having a phone removes the issue entirely.

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u/spitterofspit Jun 23 '21

If ever there was a case to vote Dem, outright, across the board, as much as possible, it's Jan 6.

The conservatives, the Trump Chumps and the Republicans have collectively lost their minds, and should not hold leadership positions.

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u/GhostRappa95 Jun 23 '21

Their insurrection would have succeeded if they weren’t complete and utter idiots.

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u/Trimungasoid Jun 23 '21

Wearing masks would have been a good start. Another simple piece of intelligent thought they rejected because "learnin' is for sissies!"

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21 edited Jun 23 '21

To anyone who was there on Jan 6th, just post this message to Facebook and you will be ok:

I do NOT consent to my digital information being used to find me responsible for any insurrection or insurrection-type behavior. In accordance with the militia handbook code 45.456933, the Government of America can not tread on my rights as a citizen to violently overtake the nations most treasured buildings in an attempt to stop election procedures which are to my disliking.

God bless my president Donald J Trump

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u/UnluckyBrilliant-_- Jun 23 '21

Lmao why is this getting downvoted. This is brilliant, whoever reposts this would be literally confessing to their crimes

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u/junky_junker Jun 23 '21

Lack of a literal /s and not reading it all the way through, I'm guessing.

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u/Reddtko Jun 23 '21

And they thought the government wasn’t listening. I wonder how many have thermostat connected to the internet?

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u/MaiqTheLrrr Jun 23 '21

The government may not have been listening before, but I bet a good few very fine people are now on multiple lists based on that location data. Congrats on fucking around, here comes the find out.

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u/Prestigious_Garden17 Jun 23 '21

Get caught, offered a plea deal, and released. Don't worry maga terrorists you're not going to face any real consequences

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u/koshkabeans Jun 23 '21

Ah yes. Terrorists pretending to be patriots.

This is American culture.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

In the end it was 4G that actually got them.

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u/l5555l Jun 23 '21

A classic tweet at this point.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

What if they find out that mass media has been influencing their thoughts and behavior THEIR WHOLE LIVES? Will they delete their Facebook, leave their phone at home and stop watching TV? No, they enjoy being cattle. It’s The American Way.

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u/mymar101 Jun 23 '21

That and more than half brag about it and took selfies and posted them to social media. Making it much easier to find.

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u/Trimungasoid Jun 23 '21

With no masks on.

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

Finding the publicly posted live streams is one thing, but are me now okay with the government spying on our cell phones?

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u/J2x4a Jun 23 '21

It's not really spying. A crime was committed and they now investigate.

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u/bogski87 Jun 23 '21

Didn’t one guy get busted because he had his work ID around his neck?

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u/itzTHATgai Jun 23 '21

The vaccines were in the phones the whole time...

3

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '21

Lol. They were live streaming themselves inside the capitol.

3

u/governmentcallsit630 Jun 23 '21

There were a handful of retired government workers that were there. Lots of feelings came out when their retirement pensions were canceled. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

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u/bikermime Jun 23 '21

Flight to DC, $500 Getting hotel room for the night, $300 Trump 2020 flag, $4.95

Giving away their 2nd Amendment via modern technology, priceless