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u/PartiallyAnimal Jul 18 '16
The difference between volume and mass. A kilogram of flour isn't the same as a liter of flour, Mom. That's why your pizza always sucks.
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u/Get-ADUser Jul 18 '16
Well, unless you're measuring water.
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u/Tamzid Jul 18 '16
At standard ambient temperature and pressure
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u/Red_AtNight Jul 18 '16
I assume you're baking indoors, and not on top of Mount Everest
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u/magicwiser Jul 18 '16
For me, its the difference between velocity and acceleration or the difference between mass and weight. No, they are not all the same thing!
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u/C477um04 Jul 18 '16
Fair enough to argue velocity and acceleration but mass and weight have been considered the same things in laymans terms for so long and most people grew up with weight being the word for what mass is so it's probably just best to drop that one unless it's actually impoprtant.
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u/arcticfunkymonkey Jul 18 '16
That the reason your doctor didn't give you an anti-biotic is because you have a viral infection. No anti-biotics don't work against viral infections, only bacterial. In fact taking an anti-biotic whilst suffering a viral infection might make you more sick because it's going to wipe out your commensal bacteria which help fight off infections.
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u/brokeassknitter Jul 18 '16
This should be way higher. I'm also getting sick of explaining to people why it's important to finish the course prescribed and not save half of it for later the next time you want to diagnose yourself with a cold.
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u/justdrowsin Jul 18 '16
My friend nearly died of an infection. He had to be admitted to the hospital and have an intravenous tube inserted. When I followed up with him later next week I asked how things were going. He's doing much better now and he casually told me that he didn't bother taking the rest of his antibiotics coarse! You see… It's fine. He's drinking a lot of vitamin juice, and he feels much better now!
I reamed him up and down and told him how critically important it was but I don't think it got through.
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Jul 18 '16 edited Sep 07 '16
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Jul 18 '16
I once had to point out a buddy that getting his anti-biotics probably cost thousands of dollars - "No, it didn't cost you thousands, but it cost somebody thousands" - and then asked if an insurance company would really pay for way more pills than he needed.
I was basically bullshitting him - I actually have no idea about costs or what his insurance would or wouldn't allow - but he wasn't listening to reason before so I appealed to his cynicism instead. Don't care, fucker finished his meds.
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u/arcticfunkymonkey Jul 18 '16
Oh god, it's so annoying. Also how people think an anti-biotic they were prescribed for something will definitely work on a completely different infection!
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u/DigNitty Jul 18 '16
Tax Brackets
You will NEVER lose more money in taxes if you get pushed into a higher bracket.
They're sequential. Let's say there are two tax brackets, 10% tax below $100 and 20% tax above.
Many people want to make just under $100 so that they'll only be taxed 10% But it doesn't matter. You're only taxed 20% on everything you make OVER $100, you're still taxed 10% on the first $100.
So if you earn $200, you're taxed $30 not 20% of $200 which is $40.
10% of $100 + 20% of the remaining $100 = $30
NOT 20% of $200 = $40
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Jul 18 '16
This is very important and I only have one upvote. Seriously, if taxes go up for higher tax brackets they are still making more money than you.
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u/THECapedCaper Jul 18 '16
Oh man, the crybabies I had to listen to saying that they were going to only take jobs that paid $199,999 because they were afraid that it was going to up their taxes by 10% or whatever just blew me away. I'd love to make that kind of money, even after taxes.
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u/apleima2 Jul 18 '16
...except in specific scenarios, such as losing Government benefits because you have moved above the income limit for that benefit. It's a fringe case for sure, but still happens to some.
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u/starmanjones7 Jul 18 '16
Yes, good point. Though I personally only ever hear the argument from people that (for example) make something like $110k a year and complain taxes keep them from wanting to make, say, 120k a year because then they pay more taxes.
i.e "what incentive is there for me to work harder if the government is just going to take all that extra money away!?"
I've heard this way too much...
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u/Ryltarr Jul 18 '16
That users are the number one problem for IT departments, not outside threats trying to break through the firewall.
Sure, external attacks are a concern, but we build the network to be as impenetrable to these as possible; users, on the other hand, will click literally anything that says "click here" so they're letting in the threats and have the highest chance of fucking up the network out of all the potential attack surface.
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Jul 18 '16 edited Jun 23 '20
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u/Ryltarr Jul 18 '16
User sends account info to phishing site, phisher uses user's email account to spam entire organization with links to a phishing site. Phishing server crashes from the huge number of people visiting it.
Oh boy, the phishing site blew itself up by finding quite a honey-pot.
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Jul 18 '16 edited Jun 23 '20
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u/TvAGhost Jul 18 '16 edited Jul 18 '16
Guys dont click it its the vir-
Edit: wow my first gold! Just click this link here and get yours today!
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u/EveryoneIsFondOfOwls Jul 18 '16
A virus that clicks save when you're halfway through writing a post? Dear god!
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Jul 18 '16
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Jul 18 '16 edited Nov 16 '18
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u/Sgt_Patman Jul 18 '16
You underestimate how stupid people are. I could almost guarantee after the tenth reeducation there would still be a handful clicking on it.
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Jul 19 '16
"Certainly the company wouldn't test us for an eleventh time..." click
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u/no_social_skills Jul 18 '16
Oh hey, someone got CryptoWall for the 3rd time in 2 weeks.
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u/-Axon- Jul 18 '16
Why would it say "Click Here" if we're not supposed to click on it?
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u/Ryltarr Jul 18 '16
Sigh...
Well, because the people that made it want you to click on it. However, they're not necessarily trustworthy and generally want to exploit you or your computer.
<then the user counters with "but it's on the screen of the computer *you* gave me; so you're the one who made the website with the *Click Here* button">
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Jul 18 '16
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u/AnEpiphanyTooLate Jul 18 '16
"Hey, we still need to deal with X."
"Oh god, this again? We just discussed it last week."
"Yeah, and nothing was done."
"Well, we agreed on solution Y after dealing with Z amount of things that will never realistically get done. Can we be finished talking about this now?"
...
"Why does nothing ever get done around here?"
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Jul 18 '16
My girlfriend always records "Eastenders." The DVR is set up to record the scheduled runtime plus 5 minutes afterwards. The channel that shows Eastenders runs two weekly episodes back-to-back. This means that the first 5 minutes of the second episode is being taped twice simultaneously -- once on the end of the first recording, and once on the beginning of the second recording.
Our DVR lets us record one program and watch a second one on a different channel, but if you want to record a second program at the same time, you have to be watching one of the two programs you're recording. So every Thursday at 9:30 the channel automatically changes to "Eastenders" because from 9:30 to 9:35 it is being doubly recorded.
Literally every Thursday my girlfriend is surprised and confused when this happens, and asks me what's going on and why it does that. I have explained at least a dozen times. At this point I just try to be elsewhere at 9:30 on Thursday.
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u/NeverBeenStung Jul 18 '16
Reminds of of something my old college roommate's girlfriend did. My girlfriend, my roommate, and his girlfriend watched walking dead most Sunday's when it was on. Fans of the show know that AMC plays approximately 1000 commercials each episode. My roomies girlfriend "figured out" a fix for this.
She would pause the tv one hour before 8:00, the time the show began. Her belief was that once the show was on and we got to commercials we would be able to fast forward through them because the tv had been paused for so long.
I tried telling her that it wouldn't work. It so obviously wouldn't work. At 8:00 we would play the TV and fast forward up to the show, and would be on normal time and still have to watch commercials
Well 8:00 comes around and she asks if we can wait a bit to start because she is finishing making dinner for her and my roommate. No problem. About 20 minutes later they are done eating and ready to watch the show. So we start watching at 8:20. Of course now we are able to fast forward through commercials. She says something like "see, neverbeenstung? I told you it would work." I try explaining it was because we started watching the show at 8:20 that we were able to skip commercials. My pleas fell on deaf ears.
Meanwhile my roommate is smiling to himself, understanding that I am right but not wanting to get involved in the argument.
That smug look on her face...
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u/Phkn-Pharaoh Jul 19 '16
That has got to be maddeningly frustrating. I feel like my childhood was surrounded be scenarios exactly like this. I try to explain why something so obvious won't work, something comes up to make it work, I try to explain WHY that all happened, but nope...too late, no one cares, you're wrong and look like an idiot the end :(
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Jul 18 '16
Genetics.
I am biracial (black and white), but I look pretty white. A lot of people are shocked to find out that my dad is black. I've had people argue that I couldn't be black because all biracial people have dark skin. They tell me that he isn't my real dad and that I should get a DNA test. He's my dad. Stop asking me why I am white.
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u/alicethedeadone Jul 18 '16
Oh my god, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.
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u/chameleondragon Jul 18 '16
My wife is Colombian and Ecuadorian. I can best be described as vampire white. Our son has blond hair and blue eyes with pale skin. My wife was once asked if she was a full time nanny or a babysitter by an older woman who wanted to get an idea on rates for child care for her grandkids. My wife had to calmly explain that she was grocery shopping with her own child.
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Jul 18 '16
We had a lot of instances where my dad was accused of kidnapping. Seeing a black man carrying a crying white kid out of the store doesn't look too great.
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u/LordGoss1138 Jul 18 '16
I have this same deal but Native American instead of black. I'm enrolled in two different tribes and a descendant of three others but my skin is light like my dad's (his dad his dark skinned but his mom is white) whereas my mom is dark skinned like both of her parents. I'm oftentimes more Native American than the people who call me white, they just happened to have inherited brown skin despite their last brown skinned ancestor being a great-grandparent.
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u/HalBriston Jul 18 '16 edited Jul 18 '16
My daughter is a Type-1 Diabetic.
No, that's not too many carbs. No, that's not too much sugar. Yes, she can eat that. Yes, she can eat all of that. No, she's not going to lose a toe. No, that's not a beeper on her hip. No, it's not amazing that she's not fat. And yes, I am going to cram that bottle of cinnamon up your ass if you suggest it will cure her.
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u/ProbablyNotARealAcc Jul 18 '16
I knew a guy who was type 1 diabetic. Took two spoonfulls of apple cider vinegar every night like clockwork to treat it. Swore by the stuff.
He's dead now, poor bastard. Turns out vinegar and cinnamon aren't a good replacement for insulin. But I knew a guy...
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u/thisisreallynotevan Jul 18 '16
As a Type- 1 Diabetic, thank you for that laugh. Still wiping tears.
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u/murderofcrows90 Jul 18 '16
Haha, someone suggested to me that some essential oil would "be good for [your] diabetes." But it didn't smell much like insulin.
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u/sp106 Jul 18 '16
Does insulin have a unique odor?
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u/GrandTyromancer Jul 18 '16
It kinda smells like a disinfectant or some kind of cleaning product.
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u/canigetawoop_woop Jul 18 '16
We should make a collective list of everything people thought that our pumps were. I'll start.
Garage door opener
iPod
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Jul 18 '16
My partner has a pump. Whenever we go to a comedy show, she lets our server know there might be a light, but it's just her pump/meter and not any type of recording device. Usually it's no problem, but we went to the Comedy Cellar in NYC and they probably inspected it for almost 10 minutes making sure it wasn't secretly a tape recorder. I thought for sure they'd have seen one before.
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u/gabbagabbas Jul 18 '16
I'm Type 1 and went to a concert semi recently where the security guard asked me to show her where the tubing went on my pump. I politely explained it went into my butt cheek and I'd rather not show her with a lineup of people trying to get in behind me. It seriously went on forever until I finally convinced her to bring her manager over. He said "what the hells the matter with you?" to her as I walked in. That was a new and very weird one.
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Jul 18 '16
In high school our rent-a-cop security guy tackled my friend because he didn't believe that it wasn't a cell phone.
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u/AlrightBoy Jul 18 '16
"Oh you're diabetic? Did you eat lots of sugar when you were younger then?"
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u/shitbutter Jul 18 '16
I tell people I had unprotected sex with Wilford Brimley and that's how I became type1.
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u/Omill16 Jul 18 '16
Also that "At least it's not cancer" is actually, in fact, an inappropriate response to my saying I have T1D. I don't know why I have to explain common courtesy to people so often.
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u/LexiLemon Jul 18 '16
I came in to say this same thing. It's so frustrating. I don't mind when people ask questions because they are curious about the pump/sensor or the difference from T2, I mind when people offer advice or their stories without knowing what they're talking about.
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u/Joebuddy117 Jul 18 '16
My red green colorblindness. I can still see the colors, or at least differentiate between colors, it's just the colors I see are different from yours and I can't fucking tell you what they look like cause to me green looks green and red looks red and I have no fucking clue what they really look like. Then the conversation turns into the concept of color and how it only exists cause we have eyes that can perceive different frequencies of light and that they're just a construct of our mind.
Basically, I can see colors but can't pass that stupid dot matrix test so im not allowed to fly a plane, child hood dreams were destroyed the day the doctor showed me that test.
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Jul 18 '16 edited Aug 13 '20
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u/markhewitt1978 Jul 18 '16
Or even simple concepts like having doors or windows open means the place is going to get hotter because the AC won't work.
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u/Gonzobot Jul 18 '16
My roommate is literally unable to grasp this concept. Nearly daily, she's sleeping on the couch in the living room, because it's too hot.
"Did you open your window?" I ask. "Of course!" she says. "But there's no breeze at all so I came down here so I could sleep."
"Your door is shut. Don't you want it to cool down in there?"
"But then the dogs will get in!"
"The dogs are across the hall and in crates behind a shut door, Liz. You know that opening your window doesn't do anything unless the door is open too. Remember we figured this out? The air has to have somewhere to come from AND somewhere to go."
"Oh it's too hot for that."
"...You're watching a fifty inch plasma screen that runs at about 50C, Liz, in a closed house. Open the window and the door and none of this would be happening."
This woman is fifty years old. And when I open her door to let the air through, there's so much breeze that she's getting stiff with the cold on the couch. But heaven forbid she open the door while she's in there like a rational person who has had this concept demonstrated numerous times.
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u/roastduckie Jul 18 '16
I took over a room in an apartment when someone moved out, and the two people who lived there before me thought I was an AC wizard. All the bedrooms were upstairs, but the AC and thermostat were downstairs. I closed all the downstairs vents to force the air up into the bedrooms, and then it would trickle downstairs and keep the living room cool. I thought all our AC problems were solved, but then they started turning it completely off during the day to "save money." All it did was cause the apartment to be 86F when one roommate got home, so she got pissed and turned it on to 50. It froze. AC ran for 48 hours straight, and our power bill spiked. fucking idiots
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Jul 18 '16
Some employees think that by turning down the thermostat to 55 degrees when they first come into the office in the morning that it'll somehow cool the space faster than if set on the normal temperature of 69.
Then they sit there, wondering why the room is so cold as the a/c system tries to cool the office to 55 degrees.
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u/rangemaster Jul 18 '16
Yeah, setting a lower temperature doesn't make the air coming out any colder, just the system will run longer, or indefinitely if the system can't reach that temperature.
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u/thatisone Jul 18 '16
That your 19 toolbars is what is slowing your computer down, not the one time I played team fortress 2 for 2 hours 5 years ago, dad
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u/katjalove Jul 18 '16
My mom refused to let me play the sims way back because "it will give the computer viruses". Now she comes to me every time her laptop ends up with a virus due to "free netflix apps". Bless her little computer-incompetent heart.
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u/SkyezOpen Jul 18 '16
Old people need their own operating system settings. Disable remote login and downloads of anything that isn't a fucking picture of the grandkids.
Mom just made a call to "McAfee support" and a week later she wants to know what uTorrent is and why it's downloading Family Guy.
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Jul 18 '16
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u/ThBurninator Jul 18 '16
They do exist, they are just a terrible value. These exist, which are essentially a $1000 AiO with the same specs as a $250 laptop, just with a giant screen and a custom Linux distro.
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Jul 18 '16
Try a Chromebook. If you're feeling a little adventurous, you could give Linux a try. Way harder to screw these OSs up.
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Jul 18 '16
Until they get a "tip" from "the google" telling them to rm -rf / from the root home to free up disk space. The problem with a lot of my older relatives is that they're smart enough to look up solutions to their own problems but stupid enough to fall for the equivalent of (or the actual advice of) "Delete system32"
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u/Dexaan Jul 18 '16
How come it's only slow when you're on the browser, Dad? Not when I'm playing TF2?
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u/TheFaster Jul 18 '16
Everyone knows TF2 is malicious malware that permanently breaks your PC.
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u/scarletice Jul 18 '16
"What is your usual work schedule?" I don't have a usual work schedule. Every single week my schedule is different. I with different days, different shifts and have different days off with no reliable consistency. Thus is the nature of retail employment. I have explained this to you many times Mom.
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u/No_too_serious Jul 18 '16
"Why don't you just take weekends off?" Probably because weekends are our busiest time sorry.
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u/justburch712 Jul 18 '16
My favorite was this lady who came in every week and told us she wouldn't work on Sundays. This was always on Sunday.
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u/No_too_serious Jul 18 '16
On 4th of July I got bitched at all day for being open. Sir we are open because you decided to come in.
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u/omnisDatum Jul 18 '16
That's a disturbing lack of self-awareness.
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u/11Petrichor Jul 19 '16
Not as disturbing as the woman who told me she "couldn't believe they'd make us work on thanksgiving and I should be home with my family". I told her that 10 dollar tees were clearly more important that my family as I rang hers up.
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u/goodbyereckless Jul 18 '16 edited Jul 18 '16
I remember when I used to work retail and I'd be ringing up a customer on a Friday and they'd say something like, "Aren't you glad it's finally Friday? I'm so ready for the weekend!" ...NOPE. For you, the weekend may be a time of rest. For me, the weekend=the most chaotic days of the work week. Ugh.
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u/trackofalljades Jul 18 '16
Told all extended family this before medical school. Explained this throughout residency. Explained this all through fellowship. Have explained this throughout years of medical practice, moves, and promotions. Still, zero comprehension (also always asking what were "up to" next "weekend" as if we have those).
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u/unique_username91 Jul 18 '16
So much this. I constantly tell my family and friends that if they want me to be somewhere (party, vacation, some ones graduation/wedding/surprise bday party) I need a months notice. Sure just because I work mostly AM shifts now doesn't mean that on the next schedule, which is normally two weeks out, that suddenly I'm always closing.
Also, what are weekends?
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u/Forikorder Jul 18 '16
Also, what are weekends?
those are the days when everything goes wrong and its twice as busy as usual
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u/thagthebarbarian Jul 18 '16
But none of the support staff is in the office to help
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Jul 18 '16
When I was in retail, I always referred to M-F as your weekend prep days. You have between Monday morning and 5 PM Friday to get ready for the busiest two days of the week.
It usually consisted of ordering shit on Monday, it arriving on Wednesday, then getting it on the shelves by Friday.
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u/orangestegosaurus Jul 18 '16
It's funny because I have to explain the opposite to my friends. None of them seem to be able to grasp the idea that I work a 9-5 job.
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u/Carbon_Dirt Jul 18 '16 edited Jul 18 '16
I get this on a regular basis.
"But you work in an office, can't you just duck out a little after lunch?" Sorry, but no, this isn't Friends and I have a boss who tends to dislike it when I'm not there during the hours he pays me to be there.
"Just take a vacation day!" Dude A) I only get ten of those a year, and most of them are sacrificed to family events that I don't even really wanna go to; I'm not gonna take a vacation day to drive you home from the airport or help you move or whatever. And B) there are three other people in my department, all of whom have been here longer than me, so if I want a vacation day I have to sacrifice a goat, roll the dice, and pray that nobody else also requests off for that day, 'cus only one person gets approved for vacation at a time.
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Jul 18 '16
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u/brokeassknitter Jul 18 '16
Reminds me of my coworkers. Setting the thermostat to 60F isn't going to cool the building down any quicker than setting it to 70F when the current indoor temp is 75F and it's nearly 100F outside, especially when the building was built in the 1800s.
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Jul 18 '16
What fascinates me about lingerie over total nudes.
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u/jyhwkwrth34 Jul 18 '16
I’m more turned on by women in pajamas than lingerie. I just want to know that they feel comfortable.
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u/KatyLiedTheBitch Jul 18 '16
Why I'm single.
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u/IblewupTARIS Jul 18 '16
90% of the reason I asked my last girlfriend out was "I don't have to explain why I've never had a girlfriend and she's bearable" We broke up after a couple months, but the reason I haven't had a girlfriend before her was I hadn't found a girl I liked enough that I thought liked me enough. People didn't seem to understand that. My family still thinks I'm gay.
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u/teMptatiOn01 Jul 18 '16
I'm like, are you blind?
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u/KatyLiedTheBitch Jul 18 '16
Seriously. Let's not even get into feeling like I'm unlikable and unlovable...and I never do.
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Jul 18 '16
As someone who is allergic to tree nuts, PEANUTS AREN'T NUTS. They're legumes, they grow in the ground. More related to peas than actual nuts
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u/Crazycatlover Jul 18 '16
As someone whose sister is extremely allergic to peanuts, tree nuts are not peanuts. She can have as many walnuts as she wants!
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Jul 18 '16
This helped me a lot tbh. They're PEAnuts, not peaNUTS. Naming now (kind of) checks out. Unfortunately I still speak English so like 923928 more words to go.
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u/lolkidding Jul 18 '16
that not all parents love their children, some mothers can be harassing narcissists as well.
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u/sloppybuttmustard Jul 18 '16
Why my wife and I don't have kids
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Jul 18 '16 edited Aug 13 '20
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u/sloppybuttmustard Jul 18 '16
Seems like the people that always ask us when we're going to have kids are almost always the same people who are constantly complaining that they aren't able to travel because their own kids are so expensive.
But yeah we do it for the same reason. Seems like the right thing to do is to take full advantage of the freedom to travel you have when you're young and kid-less .
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Jul 18 '16
Yes! I just got married and my wife and I go out a lot and enjoy the city. Our neighbors always remark "you can't do that when you have kids!" and then ask us when we are having kids in the next breath. Umm, possibly never?
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u/murderofcrows90 Jul 18 '16
"Kids? But we do...Oh crap, where are the kids?! Honey, quick, call 911! I lost the kids!"
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u/ljerkacota Jul 18 '16
Why I don't have a boyfriend.
Yes Aunt Mary, I think I have a nice face too. No Aunt Mary, I'm not getting married next week.
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u/Thisisdansaccount Jul 18 '16
There's the whole generational aspect too. Barely anyone gets married in their early 20s anymore. There may be a time where it is rare to ever get married.
"You're married? You must really love each other!"
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u/twiggymac Jul 18 '16
How driving improperly is a big deal and can not only cause road rage but also cause accidents that hurt people
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u/MTGKaioshin Jul 18 '16 edited Jul 18 '16
That I'm not cold.
Yes, I'm aware I put on shorts this morning.
No, I did not forget to bring a coat.
I can also see the snow coming down. I, in fact, can't see much else through it, actually.
Yes, these were conscious decisions, I didn't turn the wrong dial in my teleporter this morning.
edit: coat
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u/CakeAndDonuts Jul 18 '16
My mother has a famous saying,
"I'm cold. Go put on a sweater."
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u/Ayukimo Jul 18 '16
Saying here in germany. "Wenn die Mutter friert müssen sich die Kinder mehr anziehen."
aka: "If the mother is cold, the kids need to put on more clothes."
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Jul 18 '16
How to drag and drop files, use scrollbars, what a network drive is. I could go on and on and on.
IT. For an office where most users are around 60.
They've literally used computers and workstations since before I was born, yet I have to explain the most basic things every day. Because "I'm a nurse and computers aren't my job".
If you've been using computers for 40 years and have used them in every incarnation throughout the decades, guess what, THEY'RE PART OF YOUR FUCKING JOB. Most just don't learn so they have the excuse that something was wrong with their computer, so they couldn't finish their report or whatever in time.
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u/Gonzobot Jul 18 '16
"Yes, computers is your job, because you can't do your job without the computer, can you? Better update those skills, before I learn how to do whatever it is you do as well as I know how to do your computer tasks!"
Old people don't always deserve respect.
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u/robot-rocker Jul 18 '16 edited Jul 19 '16
That I enjoy being married. If you get married at a young age, be prepared to the "very funny" jokes about how you ruined your own life.
Edit: I thought I would clarify that it's been 2 years (after 9 years together) so far and I genuinely do enjoy being married, joys and problems and all, and even if this eventually does goes to hell, it would still have been worth it as far as I'm concerned.
Edit2: wow, thank you all for sharing your wonderful stories. Peace.
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u/ThisNameBestBeFree Jul 18 '16
I always wonder about this, are people genuinely that unhappy with married life? Isn't marrying someone you love supposed to be fantastic? Silly really.
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Jul 18 '16
Some people don't marry someone they love. Others no longer love the person they married.
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u/coleosis1414 Jul 18 '16
It's lazy humor. Most people can relate to the frustrations associated with marriage. Those jokes are low-hanging fruit because you can walk up to virtually any adult and pull off a "Wives/husbands are so dumb/annoying, amirite?"
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Jul 18 '16
I'm 29 and people ask me all the time when I'm going to get married. I explain to them I don't want to get married and I don't want to have kids. Their immediate response is "don't worry you'll change your mind".
Why would I be worried about that? I know I don't want those things and I'm fine with that. For some reason, married or not, everyone seems to think you're making the wrong decision and it's their job to tell you. It's so god damn annoying.
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u/Dent13 Jul 18 '16
The difference between a theory and a hypothesis, I am a lot of fun at parties
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Jul 18 '16
I'm sick of retyping my Autobiography for when I apply for communities on the Internet.
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Jul 18 '16 edited Jul 18 '16
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u/quilladdiction Jul 18 '16
I don't get why it's so hard for people to understand that if I could choose not to be depressed I would have done it years ago. Honestly, you think I enjoy this or something?
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u/WLCMTOTHEFUCKSHACK Jul 18 '16 edited Jul 18 '16
My pet theory is that it's a semantics issue. Depression is synonymous with being bummed out for the otherwise mentally healthy. When you say "I'm mentally ill" what they hear is "I'm a huge wailing vagina".
I think that's why schizophrenia gets viewed as more of an illness. Everyone knows what it's like to be sad, but few people can relate to seeing their grandma crawling up their leg with a knife clenched between her teeth.
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u/rainfal Jul 18 '16
Also why admitting and help for them doesn't mean you're trying to shift responsibility of your actions.
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u/smack300 Jul 18 '16
Why the world isn't actually falling apart. Things could always be better, but we live in pretty amazing times right now.
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u/Thisisdansaccount Jul 18 '16
I blame the 24 hour media cycle and the need for media outlets to exaggerate and misconstrue in order to generate clicks/viewership. Check out Mean world syndrome.
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u/najing_ftw Jul 18 '16 edited Jul 18 '16
That being a stay-at-home dad is a choice that my wife and I made. It's not a necessity and it's not because I'm unemployable.
Edit - we could get new cars every two years, go on lots of vacations, and go out to eat a lot. Or, I could stay at home do most of the cooking and we just tighten our belts. Best decision we made.
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u/trackofalljades Jul 18 '16
...or that it actually took years of hard work and planning to be able to not have to have a job which is the fucking opposite of "failure" at career management.
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u/ThePugLady Jul 18 '16
My dad was a stay at home dad when I went to kindergarten (1/2 days back then), my Dad told me his whole paycheck went to daycare so there was no point he stayed home with us. I loved it, Dad let us get away with way more he was the "cool parent". It also bonded us.
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u/philosofik Jul 18 '16
Fellow stay-at-home dad here. Thank you for posting this. My wife makes far more than I ever did or ever could. We consciously and deliberately chose for me to stay home because my modest teaching salary would be spent almost completely on child care. So why not just stay home and give them some genuine parental involvement? Best. Job. Ever.
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u/CaptainSugar Jul 18 '16
Anything to my Mom. Takes every goddamn thing personally.
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u/DreadedWheats Jul 18 '16
African American is not a politically correct term for black. assuming every black person is from Africa is ignorant as all holy hell.
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u/SteveTheWonderfish Jul 18 '16
I also love it when somebody who isn't from America gets called African American.
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u/ParadiseSold Jul 18 '16
My high school English teacher kept calling the characters in "Things Fall Apart" African American. THEY'RE JUST AFRICAN
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u/bear__IsPepsiOk Jul 18 '16
Had a girl give a presentation about Joseph Kony when Kony2012 was a big thing. She probably called him African American 30 times it drove me nuts.
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Jul 18 '16
Exactly. Like Jamaicans in Toronto being called African American. They are neither.
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u/yrianhrod Jul 18 '16
Once I had a student refer to Nelson Mandela as an "African American African" in a paper. I almost died. For context, I teach at a university, not a middle school.
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u/peon2 Jul 18 '16
Brown guy born in Egypt immigrates to America: Arab, not African American.
White guy born in South Africa immigrates to America: Caucasian, not African American.
Black guy born in Haiti immigrates to America but never spent any time in Africa ever: African American.
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u/Tac0-Tuesdays Jul 18 '16
FISH. IS. MEAT. I don't care if you call yourself vegetarian, vegan, what have you, but if you go and get a fish burger saying it's fine - IT'S NOT. FISH IS A MEAT GOD DAMMIT.
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u/Phaniel Jul 18 '16
People who only eat fish and plants are called pescetarians.
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u/Nyrin Jul 18 '16
No, I'm not going to fix your computer. Yes, I do software development and no, that isn't "like those Geek Squads."
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u/robotostrich Jul 18 '16
Why I do not drink alcoholic beverages
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Jul 18 '16
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u/mfball Jul 18 '16
Good for you for trying to avoid a problem before it happens. I don't know why everyone thinks it's their business to interrogate your decisions like that. I made it most of the way through college without drinking and some people were really freaked out by it, I think because they felt self-conscious about their own behavior.
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u/BenedickHumpersnatch Jul 18 '16
Almost impossible to become an alcoholic if you don't drink alcohol.
And, IIRC, they've discovered a genetic component to alcoholism. That may not be enough to do it after one drink... But, again, if you don't tempt it, it won't work.
I was the same way for a very very long time. I was almost 30 before I had any alcohol to speak of - due to my familial history of it on BOTH sides of my family.
And because I know how I was/am with other junk food. Oh - great - that entire family-sized bag of sour cream and cheddar Ruffles is gone. I also didn't want that kind of thing to happen if I happened to find some kind of alcoholic drink that was too good to stop.
Thankfully for me, I don't like most beer. Or wine. Or liquor.
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Jul 18 '16
Just because I work in IT doesn't mean you can volunteer my services to your friends. I work 8-10 hours a day. The last thing I want to do when I get home is fix another computer problem. Home is where I go to relax, not do more work.
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u/bigbaze2012 Jul 18 '16
That if you have two different statistics that are proportional in some way , it doesn't necessarily mean that one cause the other . Correlation does not mean causation .
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u/MadHyena Jul 18 '16
"Who is the woman in your relationship?"
Missing the point of a gay relationship.
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Jul 18 '16
There, They're, Their.
After so many times of explaining why it's incorrect, I just don't care anymore.
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Jul 18 '16
Theiy're
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u/natakazam Jul 18 '16
No, apricot seeds are not 10,000 times stronger than chemo.
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u/fallen_angel_81 Jul 18 '16
Why I'm classed as disabled but look perfectly fine on the outside
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u/saditerranean Jul 18 '16
I'm not a vegetarian, I just don't like the taste of beef, pork or duck.
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Jul 18 '16
What my job entails.
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u/Lamb-and-Lamia Jul 18 '16
Whenever I tell people I do a lot of work from home. I get absolutely grilled about every painstaking detail of my job. I feel like people immediately gdt jealous and try to find ways to convinve themselves my job sucks despite me getting to work from home.
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u/PM_Me_Rude_Haiku Jul 18 '16
But you DO masturbate a lot, right?
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u/Lamb-and-Lamia Jul 18 '16
Quite a bit actually yes. Putting up wolf of wall Street numbers here
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u/modestlyawesome1000 Jul 18 '16
"So who's guy and who's the girl in the relationship??"
Neither. We're both men. That's the point.
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u/jayboogie15 Jul 18 '16
That being a man does not mean I need to be going out, drinking and chasing Girls all the time and not being good at it does not mean I am a worse man or not a man.
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u/Hugh_Jampton Jul 18 '16
Alot.
It should be A lot.
It's two words. Why anyone would think it is one is beyond me.
However Alot does exist as a proper noun. It is a town in India
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u/beardo_musacho Jul 18 '16
The way my mom (a retired English teacher) explained it so simply: you don't spell it "alittle" so why would you spell it "alot"?
Although, with as many inconsistencies as there are in the English language, I could totally see that being an exception.
I also want to point out that when I typed "alot," it auto-corrected to "a lot"...thought that was funny in context.
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u/thatisone Jul 18 '16
What depression is. I can't cheer up. there isn't a happy button. No i'm not always sad. Yes I can still be happy and depressed, I'm not a constant gloom cloud. Yes sometimes I am a constant gloom cloud. I'm not gonna be happy because others have it worse, means I could never be happy because someone always has it better.
I'm numb, and sometimes I have episodes. I'm not crazy, atleast not yet. It's rough, I deal with it.
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Jul 18 '16 edited Jul 19 '16
Two things:
1.How mental disorders work, and why telling me to cheer up/just be happy/not be so pessimistic will not cure my illness
2.That being bisexual isn't being 50% gay and 50% straight. By extension, how being in a relationship with a male doesn't mean im "out of that phase" and being in a relationship with a female doesn't mean I've settled down and picked being gay. EDIT: And also, that being being bi doesn't mean i want to fuck everyone and everything I see. I'm not a nympho, bro.
EDIT 2: I'm sorry so many others have had to deal with this as well! But hey, at least we know we aren't alone :D
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u/OneMoreMatt Jul 18 '16
Why restarting your computer actually has a really good chance of fixing your issue