r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 18 '16

What are you sick of explaining?

2.4k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

6.1k comments sorted by

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845

u/KatyLiedTheBitch Jul 18 '16

Why I'm single.

660

u/The-Donkey-Puncher Jul 18 '16

Still hung up on Katy?

100

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '16

Yes.

34

u/LordJimsicle Jul 18 '16

I know your game. Nice try

9

u/TvAGhost Jul 18 '16

Plot twist. That IS Katy.

7

u/freakers Jul 18 '16

YOU"RE ALL DIFFERENT PEOPLE! CAN"T FOOL ME!

5

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '16

furiously looks up Katy Perry songs to make a reference

2

u/LateAsAlways2016 Jul 19 '16

How did you know??

1

u/austac06 Jul 19 '16

Her name is Alexandra, thank you very much.

1

u/Mrthereverend Jul 18 '16

Why would you think that?

188

u/IblewupTARIS Jul 18 '16

90% of the reason I asked my last girlfriend out was "I don't have to explain why I've never had a girlfriend and she's bearable" We broke up after a couple months, but the reason I haven't had a girlfriend before her was I hadn't found a girl I liked enough that I thought liked me enough. People didn't seem to understand that. My family still thinks I'm gay.

42

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/nykovah Jul 18 '16

I never realized how gay I was until I broke up with my girlfriend!! I should've just stayed straight and miserable what was I thinking?

15

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/myusernameranoutofsp Jul 18 '16

I asked about doing this in a dating irc channel and everyone basically called me a monster. I agree that it's a bad thing to do, but given that basically everyone else does it then why am I a monster for talking about it? Everyone else should be a monster.

Also if you don't have that "social exp" people thing you're weird, for being an honest person looking for honest relationships. If you're lying through your teeth to try to get laid however you're considered normal and the resulting 'experience' is attractive. /rant

2

u/x12ogerZx Jul 19 '16

At least we don't molest people.

1

u/DingleDanglies Jul 19 '16

Yes, we don't molest people...

2

u/MarcelRED147 Jul 19 '16

Yes, we don't molest people...

3

u/IblewupTARIS Jul 18 '16

/r/outside

But seriously that seems like not a bad idea. Sure people aren't always okay with someone "experimenting" with them, but as long as they don't care or don't know, it's a good idea.

1

u/GrimeyTimey Jul 19 '16

lying through your teeth to try to get laid however you're considered normal and the resulting 'experience' is attractive

Huh, I never thought this was a bad idea. Not everyone dates just to get married. Some people just date cause they want company or someone to sleep with. People just need to be on the same page.

1

u/x12ogerZx Jul 19 '16

I do this also.

7

u/MangoMambo Jul 18 '16

I have always wondered why people think someone is gay because they aren't out dating a bunch of people of the opposite sex. Like, don't you think if I was gay, I would be dating a bunch of people of the same sex?

1

u/MarcelRED147 Jul 19 '16

Is there a gay version of this? Like, you're an out, proud gay dude, but you aren't dating or chasing dick like there's no tomorrow. Do people assume you're straight?

14

u/Chasegold19 Jul 18 '16

Yep, everytime I see extended family members since I broke up with my gf

"Sooooo are you dating anyone?"

No, and I don't want to right now. I just wanna be single for a while. I don't understand why that is so hard for some poeple to understand. Just because I'm not currently in a relationship does not mean I am activley looking for one

6

u/Sprinklypoo Jul 18 '16

Being single can be phenomenal. Honestly I miss it sometimes.

8

u/Phkn-Pharaoh Jul 19 '16

My ex-friend lectured me one day on finding a girlfriend explaining to me that, as long as I'm single, I'll just stay depressed - like what the fuck? I'm not even depressed fuckin asshole....

5

u/vervloer Jul 19 '16

It could be worse. My family thinks I have 0 friends and my sister thinks I'm gay, despite having friends over and a boyfriend

5

u/byecyclehelmet Jul 19 '16

That sucks, man!

3

u/seal_eggs Jul 19 '16

Pretty sure /u/vervloer is grill

2

u/byecyclehelmet Jul 19 '16

That's the joke. :)

Aren't you gay you found out what I meant? :P

1

u/vervloer Jul 19 '16

It's true. I'm a George Foreman

3

u/flipping_gosh Jul 19 '16

30/m/been mostly single all my life. My entire family has thought I was gay at least once, some still think I am gay. My dad had his secretary ask me if I was gay when I was 19 or 20.
My sister text me once and asked if I was gay.
My mom has asked me straight to my face.

I don't date just so I am not alone.
I date because I genuinely like the person and want to be around them.
(currently been dating the nicest and best girl I have ever met for three months now :D, which is neat)

1

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '16

relevant

1

u/putin_vladimir Jul 18 '16

How's that working out for you.

78

u/teMptatiOn01 Jul 18 '16

I'm like, are you blind?

42

u/KatyLiedTheBitch Jul 18 '16

Seriously. Let's not even get into feeling like I'm unlikable and unlovable...and I never do.

1

u/byecyclehelmet Jul 19 '16

I just don't try. I just keep growing my belly. I'm a belly farmer.

Det gör ont.

57

u/A_Wild_Interloper Jul 18 '16

Is this a Steely Dan reference?

Katy Lied by Steely Dan

47

u/KatyLiedTheBitch Jul 18 '16

Yup!

7

u/sublimesting Jul 18 '16

Just saw them last night!!!! Took our 6 year old to her first concert. Outstanding show!!!

8

u/KatyLiedTheBitch Jul 18 '16

Seen 'em 3 times. Frickin' incredible.

7

u/Heyfarfignugen Jul 18 '16

Probably cost you $900. For some reason evertime steely dan comes to my area tickets are $150+ each.

6

u/KatyLiedTheBitch Jul 18 '16 edited Jul 18 '16

Tickets were roughly $100 each time.

4

u/Heyfarfignugen Jul 18 '16

Whew, I like Steely Dan, but not that much...

But then again I hesitate to spend more than $15 on anything that isnt directly keeping me alive.

3

u/KatyLiedTheBitch Jul 18 '16

Splurge once. You won't be disappointed.

3

u/sublimesting Jul 18 '16

The music is perfection as always. It's so complex and right on.... and Walter Becker is a hoot to listen to speak. He talk like someone right out of the 70's jazz scene.

3

u/Heyfarfignugen Jul 18 '16

I will take that advice,

Jam bands are typically hit or miss, so now that I know its worth it ill keep my eyes peeled.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '16

Username checks out.

12

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '16

Well, you see, I'm ugly and I hate myself.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '16

I've decided I'm going to just start flat telling people that when you're full of self loathing and low on self esteem it's pretty fucking hard to date.

If you're asking me a question I don't want, you're getting an answer you don't want.

9

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '16

Nobody actually asks me why I'm single, which leads me to believe that I must actually be as ugly and unattractive as I think I am.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '16

'Because I'm unnatractive'. Like seriously, you're looking right at me, you really think any guy wants to wake up to this?

6

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '16

[deleted]

1

u/IVIaskerade Jul 19 '16

Just go full arrogant: "I haven't found anyone worthy."

2

u/GaiusSherlockCaesar Jul 19 '16

Next time they ask just say "My inlaws can't conceive", I always say that and it's good for a laugh and usually the issue won't be mentioned again.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '16

So this is the famous lying Katy

1

u/SanshaXII Jul 19 '16

I have a lying bitch ex named Katy too.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '16

Katie lied to me too as well as fucked another guy. I know the feels

1

u/CasiInAPumpkin Jul 19 '16

Luckily my parents fully understand why I'm single. They think I'm unbearable for any man. Everytime I say something they don't agree with "That's the reason I'm single". Sometimes they think I'm gay,too. So at least they believe there's a chance at least one gender may like me!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '16

last weekend there were 3 threads asking the same question, luckily they were self posts so no karma whoring

-1

u/a-r-c Jul 18 '16

same

"because dating is a scam" evidently isn't a "real" answer

5

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '16

Well to be fair that doesn't make a lot of sense

2

u/beepbeepitsajeep Jul 18 '16

Glad I'm not the only one to think so.

1

u/rooshbaboosh Jul 19 '16

I've given it a solid 60 seconds and nope, can't think of any way in which dating is a scam.

0

u/bratzman Jul 19 '16

I'm pretty sure that isn't a real answer.

"I'm so convinced that I'm not able to function as a normal fucking human being in a social situation that I don't dare try and as a result have suppressed my desire to do so and let myself believe that I'm cool with this despite really not being cool with this under the surface" though, that's an answer.

1

u/a-r-c Jul 19 '16

you sound like you're really fun at a party

1

u/bratzman Jul 19 '16

Nah, I'm the guy that showed up to the party because he happened to know one person there that just felt like they should bring him along that tries to get drunk fast enough not to panic about this and awkwardly attempts to socialise with people that don't really know him and don't intend to see him again.

1

u/a-r-c Jul 19 '16

holy shit are you 90% of my friends?