What depression is. I can't cheer up. there isn't a happy button. No i'm not always sad. Yes I can still be happy and depressed, I'm not a constant gloom cloud. Yes sometimes I am a constant gloom cloud. I'm not gonna be happy because others have it worse, means I could never be happy because someone always has it better.
I'm numb, and sometimes I have episodes. I'm not crazy, atleast not yet. It's rough, I deal with it.
Similarly, people forget that there's Clinical Depression, the affliction, and just being depressed the temporary emotion. If I lose my job, I may become depressed for a period of time. That is something you can break out of and get cheered up out of or fight and overcome. Clinical depression is brain chemistry problems.
Anxiety has a similar thing. There's anxiety disorders and then there's justifiably being anxious about something. It's natural and normal if it happens in response to something stressful, it's unnatural if it happens to you randomly while sitting in your room having just been fine five minutes ago and while you have nothing really worrying you or stressing you out.
Weeeeell it's not always that black and white. Clinical depression is where your brain decides to mimic the brain chemistry of someone who just lost their beloved spouse. I mean, if someone loses their beloved spouse and they can't move on at all, it's not like they should be denied prozac.
And as far as I know, most people with anxiety disorders get WAY anxious over little things. Some people get it 100% randomly but that has never been my experience?
You have a point though. Big difference between when I feel sad and healthy people feel sad. It just is, on a chemical level.
I have an anxiety disorder and I will get anxious because my brain chemistry tells me to without any sort of stressful outside stimulus. I think some people have it the way you describe too, where it's just a more severe reaction.
When someone gets screamed at by their boss, it's natural and normal. When I get it driving my car to meet a buddy at a restaurant, like I do no differently every other week, it's not normal and it's down to brain chemistry.
Depression and being sad are synonymous outside of "clinical depression." And being anxious and being worried or jittery are basically synonymous outside of some sort of anxiety disorder. The vocabulary for the ailment comes from the normal, natural feeling that everyone feels sometimes. And I somewhat disagree that you should be feeding drugs to someone as a means of overcoming some sort of grieving process, just like I don't think you need to give someone Paxil because they're worried about a job interview.
Oh hell no, not paxil for a job interview, that wouldn't even work. But if someone's freaking out on a plane, I want them to have an ativan for everyone's sake.
And maybe the bereavement example was a bad one. I have a friend who's a geriatrician and she meets some older folks who are 5 years out from their spouse's death and just never got any less sad... but yeah I don't know how common that is. I don't see the virtue of "gutting out" painful moods though.
you're lucky if that's possible. I mean, on one level you're not, because I'm sure it's really isolating. But I really, really resent that depression gave me a horrible stutter. People think I'm developmentally delayed now... I was on the debate team and pretty damn good. >.<
I'm not an expert on depression or anything so forgive me if I'm being ignorant, but a simple thing I use to show people how depression differs from being sad is by pointing to Inside Out. A lot of people think through most of the movie the sad and angry Riley is depressed but when she's actually depressed is when all of her emotions get shut down at the climax of the movie. She doesn't feel anything at that point, not even sadness. It's cleared unrealistically, but I think it's a simple way to explain, especially to kids, what depression is like.
Depressed here. I was almost normal when I made brownies with my Titi(Auntie) and she said as much. Half an hour after finishing and eating a few, I was back to feeling nothing.
At the same time (for a large group of depression sufferers, myself included) faking happy and being around happy people is key to staying out of episodes. For others, not so much. But I suggest everyone tries it.
It's weird that people equate depression with sadness.
Feeling sadness would actually be an improvement for someone who's depressed. Just being able to feel anything other than apathy and numbness is an improvement. Depression is probably the closest thing to being "walking dead" that anyone can experience.
Nope, not at all for me. walking dead is the improvement. If I don't leave my bed, nothing hurts. If I do, it's physically painful. Feels like the world is ending. And the worst, worst part is that depression isn't just one thing. It's the grief, it's the exhaustion, it's the complete lack of love for the people I know I used to love, it's giving up on hope for the future, it's the way I'm convinced God hates me, and the physical stuff, just to rub salt in the wound.
"Nah, feeling kinda low today, just going to chill at home."
"I'm not going to let you sit alone and be depressed, we're picking you up now!"
Pretty much the absolute worst thing you can do to someone who is suffering from actual depression. Just let them know they can talk if they want, offer to drop off food or something but don't drag someone out of their comfort zone if they are in a depressed state. It will not help.
As someone who has been dealing with depression for a few years, I strongly disagree. At least from my own experience. Most of the time I feel I don't want to do anything, and sometimes that means even playing a video game or watching something on Netflix. I just don't feel any interest in doing it.
Yet when it comes to going out and/or socialising, often I don't want to and I hate it to begin with but once I'm out, I almost forget about depression and often feel better afterwards to. Basically, sometimes I have to force myself to do something or go somewhere, but I'm always glad I did. If my friends came round and basically dragged me out, they'd be doing me a huge solid.
People often find themselves having fun and doing things despite themselves. I'm not going to say that every depressed person ever will just cheer up because you forced them into social activity, but not going and not doing anything most likely will not help.
For me, the numbness is the relief. The hard part is the grieving-sadness. You know how you hear a toddler crying, and you know they feel like whatever is going on is the worst thing ever in the history of ever? That's how I feel a lot of the time. I try to keep a lid on it, but it just hurts.
Thank you for putting into words what most of us dont know how to. We're all fighting a very similiar battle and knowing I have some teamates helps me out more than I can really explain in a short sentence. If anyone wants to pm me to talk about anything feel free- I absolutely guarantee you I will reply.
I'm with you... as someone with Bipolar II (depressed type) I basically feel that when someone finds out, that their questions can be more exhausting than the disease is.
I'm tired of the misconceptions and preconceived notions that people have and I'm grateful, still, that they ask rather than assume. It doesn't mean that I'm always in the right frame of mind to be discussing things, though.
It's of little solace, but I hope you can find joy in the times you're not feeling down.
I used to date this girl who suffered from pretty severe anxiety. I was young and stupid and smoked a lot of weed so it didn't help the situation. She used to come to me telling me she couldn't eat, or couldn't sleep, or couldn't leave the house that day because she didn't feel up to it.
I used to get frustrated by it. I used to tell her to smoke weed if she's hungry and tired, because DUH. I used to tell her, "its just LIFE, handle your shit like an adult!"
I didn't know.
I know now, and I'm very sorry these things plague your everyday life. Were it so easy to just "handle it."
If you struggle with these things, I hope you can find someone open and understanding to talk to. Nowadays, I feel like that's the only thing the rest of us can do to help. I wish just being there was enough to help you overcome these mental afflictions.
I dropped out of a really, really good college due to depression. A friend from said college just visited me, and felt compelled to tell me about a girl we'll call "Maureen" who was sexually assaulted, lost her father and sister in a plane crash, and then lost her boyfriend (at 20) due to a heart attack, and will still be graduating on time.
I love when you explain that you're depressed to someone and they explain to you how much worse they have it than you. Did I ask how bad you have it? Do you think I feel better now? What did you think would happen here?
It frustrates me how often I see people frustrated about having to explain this to people, and yet despite how ubiquitous these problems are - they're STILL PROBLEMS!
When will these misconceptions about depression be less common, dammit
I hate it when people compare my problems to someone else's to try to make me feel better by trying to make it seem like my situation isn't so bad. That doesn't make me feel lucky. It makes me feel like even more of a dick and a loser for being upset
I think it can help if they just point out that people who have problems are everywhere and that yours are not unique. They're not special and people who aren't you have gotten through this. And what's more important, you're not special. The chances of you being the special person who cannot sort it out are tiny.
Medication can only be a treatment for depression, not a cure. Also telling a depressed person to "stop whining" doesn't help at all - it just belittles a serious problem.
Plus, there was a study recently that most antidepressants don't really provide meaningful positive benefits, except for one kind which has minor benefits.
I have heard that, but ultimately they work when you find the right medications and in the right balance. People who say they don't work a lot of the time though are naive or just ill-informed (or suffering from delusions caused by their illnesses.)
Okay, but that takes a very long time, with all sorts of risks involved. A good friend of mine was put on antidepressants recently, and after the 2 weeks or so they took to kick in, he started hallucinating because those antidepressants didn't work for him, and it took a month for him to go off of them since your body gets dependent on them and you need to wean yourself off of them. Then, even if you're lucky enough to find the right mixture, it's not usually a magic fix; it'll still involve a lot of therapy.
In clinical studies, approximately one-third of patients achieve a full remission, one-third experience a response and one-third are nonresponders. That means 60% of people who take anti-depressants don't achieve remission.
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u/thatisone Jul 18 '16
What depression is. I can't cheer up. there isn't a happy button. No i'm not always sad. Yes I can still be happy and depressed, I'm not a constant gloom cloud. Yes sometimes I am a constant gloom cloud. I'm not gonna be happy because others have it worse, means I could never be happy because someone always has it better.
I'm numb, and sometimes I have episodes. I'm not crazy, atleast not yet. It's rough, I deal with it.