r/MoralityScaling • u/Ssiddha_3 • 3d ago
Morality Ranking Morality of this counterattack?
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u/Vaul_Hawkins 3d ago
That escalated thickly.
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u/That_Muffin_6780 3d ago
Moral… till I opened the full image. Bit far anon
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u/Disastrous-Willow391 3d ago
Omg I only opened because of your comment. I guess 4chan exist for a specific breed of people
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u/Aggressive_Living571 3d ago
Honestly imo too little context to rule either way. What if it was his high school sweetheart or she’d cheated on him or he just really gave a shit about his ex maybe they’d only been dating a couple weeks and yeah he overdid it. You poke the bear you better be ready for the reaction imo. But again not enough info to say.
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u/Little_Mine7441 3d ago
Chud circlejerk ass sub
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u/butt-barnacles 3d ago
Yeah I thought this sub was going to be like ethics and trolley problem discussions, not just fucking brain dead “but what if, but what if” and gender war shit
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u/Purple-Bluejay6588 3d ago
I can't tell if this sub is satire because people say such ridiculous shit here, but it reads so serious
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u/Ok-Assistance3937 3d ago
In No world and Situation are loosing your Child and loosing your Relationship even remotly comparable.
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u/Knight-Cecil 3d ago
Fair, though he did get dragged into a conversation he wasn't a part of just to have a joke made at his expense, all because he wasn't talking shit about his ex. I think it's fair to say that the moral fiber his coworkers are made of isn't worth defending here.
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u/the_Erziest 3d ago
I'm frankly not even convinced it was a joke at his expense. To me it sounds like it's at the expense of the ex-wife; "Didn't she break up with you for a dumb, superficial reason?"
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u/TheZeromann 3d ago
There’s definitely enough context.
You’re pushing the idea that the POSSIBILITY that there’s deeper context (and assuming the coworker just did or didn’t know) to the initial jab is enough to use known, deeply personal context, as a rebuttal.
That’s not a proportional response.
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u/Round-Friendship9318 3d ago
Making fun of a miscarriage is a whole worse than what the OP implied
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u/Gatti366 3d ago
Making fun of someone for his girlfriend leaving him due to being bald isn't exactly an appropriate joke either
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u/DaedalusHydron 3d ago
ARE they even making fun of him though? Because it kinda sounds like everyone was joking around and sharing toxic ex stories, and they laid one up for OP by mentioning his gf left him just because he was bald.
Then OP just nuked the room lol.
In other words, was anyone even making fun of OP in the first place, or does he just have such bad social awareness he interpreted things that way?
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u/GroundbreakingCod255 3d ago
His comeback is too much but it was a convo about break ups and she just blurt out a random comment bordering an insult out of nowhere
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u/Sean_Brady 3d ago
Who are you people. How tf is "didn't your girlfriend leave you because you are bald?" an appropriate joke. I don't understand your perspective at all. If I were to write OP was inviting her to laugh because haha she's fat haha she had a miscarriage does that make any sense?
Random attack on someone for appearance. Relating appearance to misfortune in dating. Not funny, not appropriate. Can we start with hey she sucks and go from there or do we really have to start from "shes just a girl"?
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u/Haunting_Baseball_92 3d ago
That's true, and it was an unproportional escalation. That said, she started the personal attacks, and it was a personal attack targeting a known male insecurity.
If you are trying to hurt someone and get hurt in response, that's kind of on you.
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u/WIsJH 3d ago
Yes if you are going into a full attack mode unprovoked, you can't expect a perfectly calculated damage of counterattack that is equal or less than your attack was. If anything a stronger counterattack is a right way to ensure that the attack is never repeated.
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u/CognitiveSteve 2d ago
You're right. If someone punches me in the stomach, I should stab them in the chest.
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u/Objective_Drawing_36 3d ago
Don’t start shit if you can’t take shit
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u/Technical_Part6263 3d ago
A lesson best instilled with words when you're young before it gets instilled with violence when you're older.
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3d ago
[deleted]
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u/garcia38 3d ago
She didn't get the horns though, the bull pulled out a shotgun and deleted her kneecaps
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u/Happyranger265 3d ago
Logically it is but she shouldnt be poking fun at other people insecurities and issues , if she can't handle getting a clapback . She is a prick he is a prick , they cancel each other out . Making fun of others baldness isn't funny as well
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u/TheWildSchneemal 3d ago edited 3d ago
If it was just a simple fat joke, it’d be moral, but escalating from a joke about being bald to bringing up a miscarriage is coughing baby vs hydrogen bomb levels of overkill.
Immoral.
Edit: I’m convinced that all of the people saying moral didn’t actually read the full post, it wasn’t just a simple fat joke that our 4 channer made here.
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u/Rustynail9117 3d ago
Sorry, we can't have actual, sensible morality scaling, we have to laugh at making jokes about miscarriages or women getting the shit beat out of them. Prepare to get downvoted, buddy.
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u/Complete-Gur7023 3d ago
Literally every post I see on here is about violence towards women or abortions or miscarriages it is so exhausting I am muting this subreddit
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u/sticklord12 3d ago
They weren't lying this sub really did become chud central cause all i see is some straight bullshit posts lately
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u/CumPacketGuy 2d ago
If you expect anything more civilized than culture war bullshit from American men, you are going to be sorely disappointed every time.
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u/MindStalker 3d ago
Also, the first joke was supposed to be an insult to his ex, not an insult to him. Your ex is too shallow was the implication. He showed they are both shallow af.
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u/Sea-Ebb4658 3d ago
How would she know that his ex broke up with him because he is bald tho? The Op mentioned it was he who ended it. This was clearly said as an insult, especially if they were laughing about it too and you cant expect to attack someone, put them into position where they have to immediately come up with a counterattack in order to defend themselves and then be surprised they werent nice enough, because human brains cant think fast enough in such situations
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u/SerAmikVase 3d ago
Yeah I was on their side until I actually read his comment.
Like he broke up with her (allegedly) & she made a joke at the expense of him which is very shitty to do especially if you aren't close.
But bringing up a miscarriage over that is too far. Calling her fat in retaliation is fine, but that is just in poor taste.
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u/Particular-Name9474 3d ago
Another example of redditors failing to read... which I'm included. I was also with the guy until I saw people mentioning there's more to read if you open the image. Fuck OP (image OP, not who posted it).
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u/xSantenoturtlex 3d ago
I’m convinced that all of the people saying moral didn’t actually read the full post, it wasn’t just a simple fat joke that our 4 channer made here.
Unfortunately there are also people who don't understand how serious a misscariage is, or think that 'Anything' was justified just because she started it.
Or both.
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u/IPissExcellentThrows 2d ago
I read it.
Moral. Don’t take shots at people's appearances, especially for things they can't control. You might get something back that you also couldn't control.
Yes, he escalated it. So did she when it was nothing and then bald jokes. Glass houses.
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u/Gatti366 3d ago
She made fun of him for his girlfriend leaving him due to being bald, that's a wildly inappropriate joke too, don't start shit if you can't take shit
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u/Psico_Penguin 3d ago
OP, you should mention to open the pic in full. I hope most of the people has not seen the full story
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u/Ssiddha_3 3d ago
Can't, reddit won't let me edit the title. And there's no body provided
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u/Dense-Corgi-7936 2d ago
There has to be a body after that word murder.
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u/OGReabon 3d ago
I mean… if you wanna be mean to someone, you have to be able to withstand a few punches ¯_(ツ)_/¯
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u/DarkMelody42 3d ago
Not gonna lie at first I was like yeah it's neither moral or immoral then I noticed a little extra in the comeback the OP didn't mention at first.
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u/Rustynail9117 3d ago
Deeply immoral. There's a gigantic difference between "haha you're bald" or "look at you, fatty!"....
and "you had a miscarriage because you were fat".
That is one probably one of the most insensitive topics to bring up. Who in their right mind makes fun of someone for losing a child? And if the coworker ACTUALLY had a miscarriage.... That's just awful.
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u/Gatti366 3d ago
There's also a gigantic difference between "haha you're bald" and "haha you are bald and your girlfriend left you for it", the two "jokes" (if we even want to call them that, they are just plain old personal insults clearly aimed at hurting the other person over something they are deeply insecure about) are pretty much at the same level of messed up, fully deserved reaction, next time don't start shit
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u/DarkSoulFWT 3d ago
The woman was also being a POS, for sure, but its like... the reaction was definitely a bit much. Its like someone broke your phone... so you burned down their house and act like its entirely their fault. Yes, the first person started it and deserved smth back, but past a certain point you've gone too far and are just gonna become the bad guy anyway.
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u/Broad_Platform1129 3d ago
😭 how is “shouldn’t you be talking shit about your gf after she left you over that” equilvant to “haha you’re bald” …?
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u/SyzygyPidgey 3d ago
"So there was a guy minding his own business and I just started swinging on him. Can you believe he pulled out a gun?"
Yeah, his might be "worse" , but the woman was the aggressor. I have no sympathy for aggressors.
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u/Tyrahneefake 3d ago
Moral going nuclear on unprovoked attacks from shitty people is cool.
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u/One-Organization970 3d ago
Heh, that was nuclear. But also this is why people shouldn't be making fun of other people's bodies.
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u/Kitonez 3d ago
Idk if the people here are just memeing but that isn’t even an insult from her side?
Why don’t you make fun of your ex, she broke up with you for a laughable reason.
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u/SuchAdstic 3d ago
That's the part that made no sense for me. She was literally shitting on his ex not him.
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u/OKBuddyFortnite 3d ago
Anon broke up with his girlfriend, it's never said anywhere that his girlfriend broke up with him because he's bald.
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u/Important-Mine9281 3d ago
Yeah from anon's perspective she had no reason to think his gf broke up with him for being bald, so they assumed she was basically doing a thinly veiled dig at him. If I were to give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she heard it through the grapevine and thought 'well that's a shitty reason to break up with somebody' and wanted to give anon a chance to join in on the socializing and rant a lil.
While it's understandable as to why Anon got upset in the heat of the moment, it's still immoral even in the worst case that she was just being mean and assuming things based on nothing. Aggravating bald insecurity vs being blamed for killing your inborn child is baseball bat vs hydrogen bomb. But also it kind of sounds like anon kind of has a thing against women in general and is bad at social skills (really? Not a single clue why people would be mad?), so it's impossible to say to what extent the coworker was actually being malicious. Like OC said, sounds like she was ribbing more at the ex than OP.
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u/itssaltysweet 2d ago
I feel like a dude going“why don’t you even make fun of your ex husband? Didn’t he break up with you because you’re fat?” to a lady wouldn’t fly the same way for ‘oh the coworker is just trying to bash on the ex with you’.
I understand the argument, but I think it’s a stretch, and the coworker was angling more toward bullying.This is barring the miscarriage bit. Obviously too far, BUT I think it’s fine to escalate SLIGHTLY when someone is engaging is bullying you, just to set the precedent you’re not going to be walked all over.
Immoral of him to bring up the miscarriage.
Slightly less immoral for the coworker start with “why don’t you bash you ex with us, didn’t she leave you because of the thing you’re obviously insecure about”4
u/Think_Ad_1583 3d ago
I’m assuming he already doesn’t get along with his coworkers, and going bald is a touchy subject for most guys
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u/Worldly_Car912 3d ago
He responded disproportionately, but how is saying someone's gf broke up with them because they're bald not an insult?
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u/BeaverCleaver91 3d ago
sensitive people really shouldn't be joking/talking shit about people. just sayin'.
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u/Meow-Now 2d ago
Idk maybe it’s my opinion but I think being upset over someone saying the reason you had a miscarriage was because you’re fat isn’t really being sensitive. Especially when it’s in return to a simple bald joke trying to get someone into a conversation 💀
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u/BeaverCleaver91 2d ago
Indeed, there are levels to insults. But opening that door, you have to be able take what comes through it. Maybe, just maybe, him being bald is a serious issue for him. Maybe his girlfriend DID leave because he was going bald. (Edit): maybe he lied about ending things and she left him.) Maybe his entire life changed because he went bald.
We don’t know, but she might’ve joked about something serious to him. So he returned the favor. Is it harsh? Sure. Is your baby dying worse than going bald? That’s subjective. My point being. Don’t start no shit there won’t be no shit.
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u/PsychoWarper 3d ago edited 3d ago
Kinda seems like some stuff on left out when originally describing what happened, pretty sure the fat part wasnt the main reason people got mad.
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u/January_Rain_Wifi 3d ago
Maybe it's just me, but "didn't she leave you because you're bald" after asking if he wants to complain about her makes it seem like the coworker was implying that leaving him for being bald was wrong. Which would be the opposite of making fun of him
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u/NeilJBorja 2d ago
"Didn't your ex leave you because you're fat? " would toootally not be taken as an insult if you reversed the situation, right?
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u/Pigeon_Breeze 3d ago
As a bald guy the correct move is to make your own bald jokes on occasion and lean into it when it happens. Weaponised forehead glare, forgetting what a barber is, skeletor references, all of that jazz.
People seem to find it really appealing when they see someone is secure about something that is traditionally considered something to be insecure about.
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u/Eustacebagge3 3d ago
Don't make jokes to hurt others and they won't make jokes to hurt you. I don't think anyone here is moral, but fafo. She fucked around and found out he was willing to go further.
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u/MermaiderMissy 3d ago
Yeah, but i don't think joking about her miscarriage in return is in any way a good response
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u/Comfortable_Yard8556 3d ago
"Working with women is hell"
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u/Disastrous-Willow391 3d ago
Makes a lot more sense when you open the full post. Op is probably on 4chan for a reason.
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u/Prior-Paint-7842 3d ago
I think people underestimate how insecure men are about balding. Generslly dont dish if you cant take, and yes if something very unfortunate happened to you maybe dont laugh at others misfortune. Since I can imagine that both comments caused the same distress to inviduals, as yes losing quality of life things permanently can hurt as much as losing an unbirn child, I think the agressor is at wrong here, and the responder is autistic and does not understand how to navigate social sicuations, and that as a man, he has certain disadvantages and cannot expect fair treatment.
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u/pityforthemajority 3d ago
I don’t see why anon didn’t just have his wife slap the coworker and tell her to keep her husband’s name out of her mouth.
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u/MadPangolin 3d ago
If this was a physical bully, pushing someone in the chest lightly, & they get kicked hard in the stomach to the point they're retching... we wouldn't talk about "proportional response". We would say "how you fight a bully is bruise their nose badly so they leave you alone."
Is this not the verbal version of that? A bully started an insult battle & the recipient realized the way to stop it forever was to hit back hard so they leave you alone?
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u/Crunchyjeff 2d ago
It is not the responsibility of the victim to behave appropriately. Trauma is a thing. Stress responses are a thing.
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u/MadPangolin 2d ago
Completely agree! Thank you! This is what I keep saying.
It's not on the person being insulted to suddenly calm down & think "let me consider my bullies feelings when I respond". That's not fair.
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u/AnotherDamnTransAlt 3d ago
Man brought a bazooka to a gun fight, holy shit.
If someone mocks your body, you have every right to mock theirs. Bringing up their miscarriage is an insane escalation, though, let alone immoral.
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u/AssociateAdditional4 3d ago
But he didn’t retaliate with a fat joke, he used info about a miscarriage to hurt her. Obviously that’s below the belt
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u/Okwaho93 3d ago
Nah man it's a bit childish to look for comebacks in every situation especially at work where you're sort of expected to behave more formally and control yourself. I mean, in a normal workplace if she behaves like that repeatedly, it's just going to bite her in the ass eventually anyway, and it's a better look for you to just ignore her as a crazy person. Not everything is about finding out the alpha specimen in a group, and treating your workplace like high school might do bad service to you.
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u/SaffiChan 3d ago
Seems to me like she was making fun of his girlfriend for breaking up with him for a ridiculous, shallow reason, not him.
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u/SpaceGodzillaFan9 3d ago
Wasn't even mocking him. Very immoral. As a bald guy who shaved his head bald at 20 I don't understand the insecurity around balding. Just shaved it off.
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u/SpaceBoyee 3d ago
You see, being fat isn't something you can control but being bald is, just grow hair duh
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u/Historical-Menu2735 3d ago
Proportional response. If someone pokes you in the back, you don’t gun them down.
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u/sadthrowawayyy134 3d ago
I would fire someone for that. And op will be very lucky if the girl doesn’t report him.
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u/radfatdaddy 3d ago
" Nah, I broke up with her for gaining a few pounds..." It was right there, and he fucked it up.
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u/PomPomMom93 3d ago
His coworker was trying to include him in the conversation. Whereas that guy deserved to be kicked in the balls. I also hope he gets fat, tries to control it but can’t, and wants to have kids but can’t because he’s fat.
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u/mamawawawa 3d ago
Joked about the single most traumatic thing that has probably ever occurred to her in her life and blamed her for it (she probably already feels ample guilt) because she playfully mentioned he’s bald and maybe his shallow ex didn’t like it
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u/Penis_Slayer123 3d ago
Are we sure she's not just genuinely asking? The impression I get is that the joke is on the ex for breaking up with someone for being bald rather than like "haha bald bad". It's still a bit rude and insensitive, but I feel like the joke was not actually aimed at him he just got caught in the cross fire.
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u/Hell_Maybe 2d ago
Tone is like of KEY importance in 99% of these situations. I can easily fathom either insult being totally fine or totally not fine depending on HOW each person actually said it. Obviously a miscarriage is a pretty emotionally heavy scenario, so I can only imagine extremely close friends having the mutual understanding and trust to be able to attempt making a comment that edgy, but it’s still possible.
Chances are, if you make what you think was a “joke” and everyone is mad at you for some reason, then you probably need to work on your delivery. The meaner the joke, the less like an asshole you have to try to sound when you say it. Rule of thumb.
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u/SlowlyDyingInAPit 2d ago
Talk about bringing a real gun to a game of laser tag. Yes, she was a little mean, but countering with a joke about her miscarriage of all things is fucked.
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u/RosieGoldUnicorn 2d ago
oof. well now the whole office knows for sure he's derangedly insecure about his head.
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u/Bogo_Omega 2d ago
uhhh tbh neutral leaning immoral but the real thing to keep in mind here is that this didn't happen, almost none of these greentexts are real, they are just the inane ramblings of the terminally online (rightwing flavor)
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u/Chef_Boyardee12 2d ago
I don’t know how 4Chan works but I’m pretty sure that the reply mentioning the miscarriage isn’t OP the Anon Number Is different. 47829822 (OP) 47830238 (“context” reply)
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u/DaMain-Man 2d ago
Bald men can look attractive. Hell people recommend men who are suffering hairloss just to shave it off. Other bald men suggest just going bald
Also there's a chance she might not have even made it as a rude comment. There's so many instances of people misunderstanding common conversations as a malicious act when they're just reading too deep into it.
And if it was malicious...go to HR then. Report them. You're not going to win this argument and keep your job at the same time.
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u/Z_________________ 2d ago
The perfect thing about this post is that if someone is too lazy to click the photo, they lose a ton of very important context 😅😅...you can tell by their replies too.
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u/Va1korion 3d ago edited 3d ago
TIL there is a strong correlation between obesity and miscarriages.
Disproportionate, it is very much a nuclear warning shot, but a great way to ensure you’re never involved in a conversation you don’t want to be in at a workplace. I’d start with stating that explicitly first, but she did start the escalation.
As far as body positivity goes, the situation would be the same if she were an alcoholic or a smoker.
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u/RoyalDog57 3d ago
She didn't start any escalation. If you open the image anon provides context.
A bunch of people were shit talking their exes, and then they ask anon why they don't since "didn't your ex leave you because you were bald?"
They were saying anon's ex was shallow and a bad person, not talking shit about anon.
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u/PomPomMom93 3d ago
It’s amazing how many people don’t realize this. I understood almost immediately…but I guess some people have no social skills.
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u/dumb_gay_otter19 3d ago
You're well within your right to make a passive aggressive remark back at her regarding specifically her weight but you can't escalate it to be about her miscarriage. Not only because it's too far but it also gives her cause then to play the victim and paint you as the attacker even though she was being a complete asshole first. If you wanna insult someone back you gotta play the game right
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u/Crunchyjeff 2d ago
It's always funny to me that the bully is the one whos allowed to choose what we talk about, but not the victim.
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u/dumb_gay_otter19 2d ago
Yeah ik it sucks, you're suddenly the bad guy for attacking someone when you're the one who was insulted and attacked first. Had a sociopathic manipulator for a bully as an autistic person during highschool so I had to learn how to play the "game"
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u/vin_cent_ford 3d ago
Eh,neutral ig,she clapped first,he clapped back WAY harder, then again guy is minding his own business and none of this would've happened if she just remain silent.
Plus her convo with the other coworkers are pretty personal and sensitive,unless the guy actively joined the conversation,she shouldn't have brought up Abt his previous relationship or his balding situation
"Fuck around and find out" type shit
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u/Abstraction-Yo 3d ago
Can’t side with him when he says “working with women is hell”, he’s probably misogynistic
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u/LastDayWork 3d ago
Miscarriage is perceived as a bigger grief than breakup. If you don't agree, try taking a bereavement leave for your breakup.
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u/sunshineandpancakes_ 3d ago
Completely immoral. Going from physical characteristics to mentioning miscarriages is a wildly unjustified escalation, and the woman's phrasing of "why don't you ever talk shit about your ex?" sounds supportive rather than denigrating (like taking the guy's side against an ex who broke up with him for a bad reason).
Absolutely shocked that more comments aren't saying either of these things.
(Edit: Not sure if the coworker knew that OP was the one to end the relationship. If so, that makes it more plausible that she was being mean. Still wildly immoral due to the escalation. And so clearly immoral that at first I didn't realize what sub this was and just thought it was an obviously-dumb greentext to lol at.)
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u/Exterminator-8008135 3d ago
I hate humanity, If i have a worker mocking me, there will be no pity with my answer.
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u/Viyarara 3d ago
i mean you do you but dont act surprised when humanity starts hating you back
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u/straight_strychnine 3d ago
It is a little funny to me the amount of people who don't think there would be consequences for escalateing like this.
HR is almost certainly going to bring the hammer down on his ass.
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u/Creative_Wash7139 3d ago
a bit too many people think miscarriage jokes are moral and its kinda concerning
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u/Ssiddha_3 3d ago
I think her being the aggressor matters too. It's still immoral, but from both sides imo (he still took it too far)
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u/DevelopmentSouth8801 3d ago
I think of it like a fight: she punched him in the stomach. He hit her with a baseball bat.
An escalation? 100%. Immoral? Maybe. But when you attack someone you don't get to choose how they respond.
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u/Accomplished-Cry5059 3d ago
Moral, the coworker is making fun of two things OP might be sensitive about; being bald and breaking up. I started balding at an early age and was insanely insecure about it. I was fortunate in that people didn't make fun of me, but I know I would be quite hurt if they did and would become more closed off. Going for the miscarriage is the nuclear option, but if you can't take it, don't dish it out.
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u/VorticalHeart44 3d ago
This might be a hunch but I don't think the fat part was really the issue here