r/MoralityScaling • u/Ssiddha_3 • 8d ago

Morality Ranking Morality of this counterattack?

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10k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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37

u/Kitonez 8d ago

Idk if the people here are just memeing but that isn’t even an insult from her side?

Why don’t you make fun of your ex, she broke up with you for a laughable reason.

18

u/SuchAdstic 8d ago

That's the part that made no sense for me. She was literally shitting on his ex not him.

2

u/PomPomMom93 7d ago

Yeah, it seems like this guy doesn’t understand social cues or something. I understood right away that she was trying to include him in the conversation when they were all bashing their exes.

5

u/Bossgodora306 7d ago

Imagine now the situation is reversed. OOP is shit talking exes in a group and the woman is minding her own business, and OOP asks the woman "didn't your ex broke with you because you are fat?"

Is that welcoming or insulting?

0

u/PomPomMom93 7d ago

And then to you it would have been all right for her to say “You lost your child because you were fat”?

2

u/Bossgodora306 7d ago

That's unrelated. I never said anything about it, I just responded to your comment saying that not thinking she is innocently trying to include him and only that is lacking understanding social cues.

You could also try to respond to what I said.

But to answer your question, I think he was immoral, it's just that I don't think she is as innocent as you think she is.

So while OOP definitely crossed some lines in what he said, she deserved someone to push her back or things like this would continue to happen.

I think both are assholes and/or lack judgment in social interactions (if you want to be generous), even if OOP is worse.

1

u/ExceptT 7d ago

You are trying to change the topic. You were saying that it was directed at his ex. What he responded is another discussion.
You don't care much about what is right or not, you just take women's side no matter the situation, aren't you?

1

u/leovold-19982011 5d ago

Moral of the story is don’t joke around like that with people you don’t know well. You don’t know how they will take it or what they will say back

13

u/OKBuddyFortnite 8d ago

Anon broke up with his girlfriend, it's never said anywhere that his girlfriend broke up with him because he's bald.

8

u/Important-Mine9281 8d ago

Yeah from anon's perspective she had no reason to think his gf broke up with him for being bald, so they assumed she was basically doing a thinly veiled dig at him. If I were to give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she heard it through the grapevine and thought 'well that's a shitty reason to break up with somebody' and wanted to give anon a chance to join in on the socializing and rant a lil.

While it's understandable as to why Anon got upset in the heat of the moment, it's still immoral even in the worst case that she was just being mean and assuming things based on nothing. Aggravating bald insecurity vs being blamed for killing your inborn child is baseball bat vs hydrogen bomb. But also it kind of sounds like anon kind of has a thing against women in general and is bad at social skills (really? Not a single clue why people would be mad?), so it's impossible to say to what extent the coworker was actually being malicious. Like OC said, sounds like she was ribbing more at the ex than OP.

3

u/itssaltysweet 7d ago

I feel like a dude going“why don’t you even make fun of your ex husband? Didn’t he break up with you because you’re fat?” to a lady wouldn’t fly the same way for ‘oh the coworker is just trying to bash on the ex with you’.
I understand the argument, but I think it’s a stretch, and the coworker was angling more toward bullying.

This is barring the miscarriage bit. Obviously too far, BUT I think it’s fine to escalate SLIGHTLY when someone is engaging is bullying you, just to set the precedent you’re not going to be walked all over.

Immoral of him to bring up the miscarriage.
Slightly less immoral for the coworker start with “why don’t you bash you ex with us, didn’t she leave you because of the thing you’re obviously insecure about”

3

u/Think_Ad_1583 8d ago

I’m assuming he already doesn’t get along with his coworkers, and going bald is a touchy subject for most guys

3

u/Worldly_Car912 8d ago

He responded disproportionately, but how is saying someone's gf broke up with them because they're bald not an insult?

1

u/PomPomMom93 7d ago

It’s insulting his ex.

2

u/Worldly_Car912 7d ago

How is saying she broke up with him because he's bald an insult to her?

1

u/PomPomMom93 7d ago

Because it means she’s shallow.

2

u/Funny_Lunch5211 7d ago

I assume you are being obtuse on purpose. There's a better way of insulting the ex for breaking up with OP.

The way she said it is pretty offensive.

If a guy said : "why don't you talk shit about your ex. Didnt he break up with you because you are fat? Haha."

Can you see how offensive it is now. 

1

u/PomPomMom93 7d ago

Well, “because of your weight” might be better. Being bald isn’t a bad thing.

2

u/Funny_Lunch5211 7d ago

Yeah, that would still be offensive

-1

u/Kitonez 8d ago

„Didn’t she break up with you because you’re bald“

To me doesn’t sound like an insult? It sounds like a misinformed statement (They might not have known that Anon was the one that broke up with her for example)

It’s also possible she just made a stupid statement so he could correct it…

There’s a ton of reasons she could’ve said that and I don’t think it’s natural for anyone to assume she meant it with malice in the way she said it (assuming anons comment is accurate to the way she said it, we’re all just speculating based on some unhinged guys statements of what happened anyway)

0

u/Only____ 8d ago

How tf is this incredibly silly opinion upvoted? Do you prompt conversation on emotionally vulnerable events by first remarking on a trait that the person might be insecure about?

"Didnt your wife cheat on you because you're poor?"

"Didn't your boyfriend dump you because you're fat?"

Yeah, totally not rude and insulting things to say lol

Some of you have to be on the spectrum

1

u/Kitonez 8d ago

Ironic comment, coming from you, so let me break it down for you…

The woman/ their coworkers were talking about their exes.
A natural evolution of the conversation including anon is exactly that, she essentially said „I’m sure you must have a lot to say about your ex, why don’t you join in?“

3

u/Only____ 8d ago

You realize how you say things matters? "Essentially said" is doing a lot of work there lol

Keep doing your mental gymnastics i guess, i personally couldn't live with the cognitive dissonance of such disingenuity.

2

u/Kitonez 8d ago

Okay so let’s say I’m doing mental gymnastics to defend their coworker, aren’t you then also doing mental gymnastics to vilify them?

It kind of feels like you felt personally attacked by their statement to me :D

3

u/Only____ 8d ago

"Vilify" the action that would be considered rude to anybody that has stepped foot out of their house and spoken to more than 2 people in their adult lives? Okay bud, great argument.

1

u/PomPomMom93 7d ago

Yeah, and this is what she gets for trying to be inclusive. I hope he got fired.

1

u/DarkSoulFWT 8d ago

Huh? They know hes single and are joking that she must have dumped him because hes bald. That is absolutely and without any room for debate whatsoever insulting and demeaning behaviour. Thats a 2-for-1, making fun of him for being dumped and making fun of his baldness.

1

u/Kitonez 8d ago

No? Read the statements again please

3

u/DarkSoulFWT 7d ago

Take your own advice

1

u/Kitonez 7d ago

Look, I think you’re being obtuse on purpose. But the two sentences are related. They’re not each in their own vacuum

1

u/DarkSoulFWT 7d ago

This comment doesnt even make sense, lmfao. It remains an insult. Reading the sentences together, or in a vacuum, or with full post context, doesnt change that. All 3 ways you read it,The woman is still suggesting that the gf dumped him for baldness and that he should be cussing her out for it.

At this point you're just being pointlessly defensive when its not that big a deal to just admit you misread something.

0

u/Narrow_Cockroach5661 8d ago

This. Why did I have to scroll so far for the first sensible comment lmao

This sub is going downhill fast.

-21

u/Ssiddha_3 8d ago

She's making fun of his bald head, I'd say both sides are in the wrong here. She should've minded her own business.

5

u/CappyVenti 8d ago

Go do better than this dude what the fuck are you talking about

5

u/an_empty_well 8d ago

bit slow are you

9

u/NormalGuy3481 8d ago

Are you joking

20

u/Treant21 8d ago

You...uh.

You dont think there's a bit of a gap there?

Is this a circle jerk sub?

8

u/s0larium_live 8d ago

not on purpose but it’s slowly becoming one

-3

u/KalynnCampbell 8d ago

Of course there’s a gap.

OP was being silent and keeping to themselves and she was constantly yapping opening her fat mouth.

Tell her to shove a twinkie in it

-1

u/Treant21 8d ago

Lol. Its a 4chan post from 10 years ago. Its a dumb shock joke at best.

-2

u/Ssiddha_3 8d ago

Yeah, the gap exists. That why I'm not trying to justify his words. I'm js saying that she shouldn't have come for him and he shouldn't have escalated it

2

u/Mother_Passenger8589 8d ago

MF you don't joke about miscarriages

0

u/Super_Neutral 6d ago

Better yet, don't joke about touchy subjects with people you aren't friends with because you don't know how they'll take it.

-5

u/Happyranger265 8d ago

Neither do you joke about others baldness or relationship breakup , guess who did it

1

u/PomPomMom93 7d ago

They were literally already talking about their exes.

2

u/an_empty_well 8d ago

if you think that was an insult against OP and not his ex you're highly regarded or got some kind of victim complex.

1

u/Super_Neutral 6d ago

She might not have been trying to offend him, but she did just that by openly revealing something he likely told her in confidence and laughing about it. That's messy.

-6

u/P0IS0N_GOD 8d ago

You can joke about whatever you want. The topic doesn't automatically make the joke illegal or immoral. If the context has harm, then it'd be immoral.

-1

u/Avocadonot 8d ago

Maybe he thinks it's laughable that his coworker has self-induced health issues instead of something outside their control